Refuse Wise Counsel
How to Make a Bad Decision • Sermon • Submitted
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Kids
Kids
WHAT HAPPENED TO PASTOR CHRISTIAN’S HAND?
Birth - actually born a righty but soon learned to use my left hand
5 yo - surgery (gross, right?!)
7yo - I convinced my parents to let me sign up and play on a baseball team . I loved baseball and would often play with a tennis ball with friends in my neighborhood.
But they were concerned that if I played hardball I would do damage to my hand.
First day of practice - I could catch and I could throw but my coach realized I didn’t have a very good way to throw the ball once I had caught it.
He had seen a young college baseball player who had been born with only one hand and he had learned to balance his glove on his wrist so that he could catch and throw with the same hand. He showed me what it looked like and I started practicing.
The result of his good advice?
I learned to overcome my challenge (catch and throw)
I got to play baseball that season and all the way into high school. I was even the team MVP for my high school my senior year, and I’ve been able to enjoy this game my whole life.
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I wanted to tell you this because we all face challenges.
One of the best ways God has created us to overcome challenges is to seek out the advice of others who know more than we do. Whether it’s a parent or a teacher or a pastor or even friends who make good decisions, these are people God puts in our lives to help us to learn to make decisions that honor him.
I want to encourage you: The next time you’re faced with a challenge or a decision, first ask God for his help to do what’s right and then find your mom or dad and ask them what they would do in that situation.
Let’s pray.
Intro
Intro
Series: Several bad decisions - learn from them to understand how to avoid those decisions but more importantly become good decision makers.
Today: We’re going to look at a bad decision that took place because a man refused wise counsel
Body
Body
Background on the decision:
King Solomon, son of David, despite ruling with great wisdom for much of his life, failed to finish strong.
This is how the Bible summarizes what happened:
4 When Solomon was old, his wives turned his heart away to follow other gods. He was not wholeheartedly devoted to the Lord his God, as his father David had been.
At the end of his life Solomon ruled foolishly and harshly. And God brought judgment upon him for his unfaithfulness. Eventually he died and his son Rehoboam was made king.
The people of Israel came to him pleading for Rehoboam to take a different approach in ruling them. Look at what happened:
4 “Your father made our yoke harsh. You, therefore, lighten your father’s harsh service and the heavy yoke he put on us, and we will serve you.”
5 Rehoboam replied, “Go away for three days and then return to me.” So the people left.
6 Then King Rehoboam consulted with the elders who had served his father Solomon when he was alive, asking, “How do you advise me to respond to this people?”
7 They replied, “Today if you will be a servant to this people and serve them, and if you respond to them by speaking kind words to them, they will be your servants forever.”
Before we see how Rehoboam responded, his bad decision, I want to pause and acknowledge the big idea for today:
Nothing will help or handicap your decisions like your approach to seeking advice.
Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary, Tenth Edition
handicap 1hand•i•cap \ˈhan-di-ˌkap, -dē-\ noun
[obsolete English handicap (a game in which forfeit money was held in a cap), from hand in cap]
(1754)
1 a : a race or contest in which an artificial advantage is given or disadvantage imposed on a contestant to equalize chances of winning
b : an advantage given or disadvantage imposed usually in the form of points, strokes, weight to be carried, or distance from the target or goal
2 a : a disadvantage that makes achievement unusually difficult
b : a physical disability
B:
Last week: Think long term.
This and other elements are super important but I think you’ll see as we go on and as you think about it that all of the elements of decision making are shaped by your approach to seeking advice.
We’re told in
22 Plans fail when there is no counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.
In other words, two things:
(1) decisions and plans should not be made in a vacuum. They succeed when others are consulted.
But there’s an implication here - not all counsel is equal.
The point is not simply to include a bunch of people in a decision, but to include wise advisers.
(2) Good decisions are made by good decision makers
and you become a good decision maker by surrounding yourself and learning from good decision makers.
This is something that Rehoboam seemed to understand. He consulted the elders who had served his father. What happened? Why is he being included in our list of famously bad decisions?
Well, let’s take a look:
8 But he rejected the advice of the elders who had advised him and consulted with the young men who had grown up with him and attended him.
9 He asked them, “What message do you advise that we send back to this people who said to me, ‘Lighten the yoke your father put on us’?”
10 Then the young men who had grown up with him told him, “This is what you should say to this people who said to you, ‘Your father made our yoke heavy, but you, make it lighter on us!’ This is what you should tell them: ‘My little finger is thicker than my father’s waist!
11 Although my father burdened you with a heavy yoke, I will add to your yoke; my father disciplined you with whips, but I will discipline you with barbed whips.’ ”
12 So Jeroboam and all the people came to Rehoboam on the third day, as the king had ordered: “Return to me on the third day.”
13 Then the king answered the people harshly. He rejected the advice the elders had given him
14 and spoke to them according to the young men’s advice: “My father made your yoke heavy, but I will add to your yoke; my father disciplined you with whips, but I will discipline you with barbed whips.”
Rather than take the wise counsel of his father’s elders, he listened to his buddies.
The result?
This decision is the tipping point for the fracture of God’s people: Kingdom of Israel in the North and the Kingdom of Judah in the south
300 years of division capped off by the Babylonian exile
What can we learn from Rehoboam’s bad decision?
Beware of bad decisions fueled by fools:
Inexperienced
18 The inexperienced inherit foolishness, but the sensible are crowned with knowledge.
3 A sensible person sees danger and takes cover, but the inexperienced keep going and are punished.
Flatterers
5 A person who flatters his neighbor spreads a net for his feet.
Buttering you up:
Many claim this phrase has its origins in ancient India, when people used to lob little balls of ghee butter at the statues of various gods when they were asking them for favors. In Tibet, there's an even older custom of crafting butter sculptures when the new year rolls around; the sculptures were viewed as a means of bringing happiness and peace in the coming year
Instead, they say, it originated because of the imagery — spreading smooth butter on a piece of bread is like spreading nice words on someone.
Either way, the point is I want something from you.
We do this playfully with each other: “You’re such a good dad” “What do you want?”
But be careful that you’re not blinded to the realities of a decision because you enjoy the attention of someone with something at stake. They’ll get what they want and you’ll be left holding the bag.
Sluggards
13 The slacker says, “There’s a lion outside! I’ll be killed in the public square!”
You can get a bad view of something because the person creates false concerns
Rebels
17 The one who follows instruction is on the path to life, but the one who rejects correction goes astray.
Again, good decision makers make good decisions. Be careful of listening to loners, or people who don’t have a track record of including others in their decision making.
To avoid seeking the advice of fools we need to identify wise people.
Who do you know that’s wise? Who do you know that know someone who has experience in this kind of thing/this situation?
Once you identify people who you think can help the Scriptures give us an idea of how to approach them. These three aspects of approaching are very similar but work together to help you be the kind of person that wise people are not only willing to help but enjoy helping.
To get wise counsel:
Mark your approach with meekness.
6 Don’t boast about yourself before the king, and don’t stand in the place of the great;
7 for it is better for him to say to you, “Come up here!” than to demote you in plain view of a noble.
You’re not looking for a carbon copy of yourself. You’re not approaching this person because you think they know all the same things you do.
Illus: “Oh yeah, I thought of that.”
Seek input before you finalize your plans.
18 Finalize plans with counsel, and wage war with sound guidance.
Don’t put people to the “are you as smart as me?” test - that’s what happens when you ask for input when the plans are essentially sealed.
It can be insulting or at least seem like a waste of time.
Time is valuable - it’s good to approach people with a plan, having thought carefully, having run the 10-10-10 process.
But bring those ideas, your amazing insights and careful plans and offer them with an open hand. Your counselors should have permission to reshape your plans.
If you’ve already made a choice, live with it.
But if you seek input before you finalize your plans then...
Prepare for correction, not confirmation.
12 A mocker doesn’t love one who corrects him; he will not consult the wise.
First, have to reach out. Again, mockers, fools don’t seek out wise people. Bad decision makers are looking for people to confirm what they already know.
Good decision makers want someone who will show them what they may have missed. And that can be painful but it’s incredibly valuable.
6 The wounds of a friend are trustworthy, but the kisses of an enemy are excessive.
When you’re making a decision you have to decide what’s more important: the truth or your ego? the facts or your favorite option?
To have wise people as friends is a great gift - These kinds of friends are willing to stab you in the front
I want to earnestly encourage you: take stock of your approach to seeking advice.
Do you ask for advice very often?
Who do you ask it from?
How do you approach your asking?
These are life-shaping questions
But I want to end with this reminder:
There’s something far better than good advice: good news.
Almost 1000 years after Rehoboam’s bad decision, he had a great (23 times) grandson Jacob whose son Joseph became the father of a son born to be the next and final King of Israel. And that king grew up, learning from his earthly father and other wise men and became to determined to follow the counsel of his heavenly father. He had no doubt that his role was to rescue his people from a crushing yoke of slavery. He came not to be served but to be a servant and give his very life so that we might become not just his servants but his brothers and sisters, co-heirs of an everlasting inheritance.
This the news that tells us no handicap will last forever, news that liberates from the need to prove ourselves and frees us to become good decision makers.
The King’s name is Jesus. He’s the wisest man who ever lived and though he was dead for a time, he’s alive, offering to take your decision making track record no matter how bad it is and give you his perfect record in exchange.
My advice: Take him up on his offer.
Let’s pray.