Friendships
Proverbs • Sermon • Submitted
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· 3 viewsFriendships: Should you be friends with non-believers?
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Godly Friendships: Walking with the Unwise
Godly Friendships: Walking with the Unwise
Who would you consider a good friend?
Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise,
but the companion of fools will suffer harm.
Simply put we become like those with whom we spend time; growing either more wise and good or more foolish and wicked. We are going to look at dangers of foolish friendships, defined in Scripture as those that bring us in close contact with evil.
Unwise assoications can lead us to become disarmed and then destroyed.
Should I ever be friends with an unbeliever?
Remember, Proverbs is not a book of laws, but a book of wisdom.
Remember the purpose of the church—what are we call to do?
English Standard Version Chapter 28
19 Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
Go out and make disciples; call people to Christ
2. Remember the example of Jesus---what did he do?
English Standard Version Chapter 15
This man receives sinners and eats with them.”
He was notorious for associating with the worst sorts of sinners—including eating with prostitutes and tax collectors
3. Remember the wisdom of Proverbs---what does it say about walking with unwise?
Proverbs 12:26
Proverbs 22:24-25
English Standard Version Chapter 22
Make no friendship with a man given to anger,
nor go with a wrathful man,
25 lest you learn his ways
and entangle yourself in a snare.
Unwise associations can lead us to become disarmed and then destroyed.
English Standard Version Chapter 25
Trusting in a treacherous man in time of trouble
is like a bad tooth or a foot that slips.
So whats my point;Jesus calls was friends with the lowest of the low and yet Proverbs again and again warns about being friends with the wicked. Obviously they both cannot be wrong since they are in scripture. The principle is this:
Is this friendship or association drawing the unbeliever to God, or is it drawing me away from God? or Is this friendship or association leading the unbeliever to the light or is it drawing me to the darkness?
I want to look at two biblical examples from the Old Testament; one where the friendship drew them towards the light and one where it pushed them to darkness.
Turn to Ruth chapter 1
There is a women named Naomi who was forced to the Moab due to great famine. She is married and has two sons who are married to Orpah and Ruth, both Moabite women. Naomi husband dies and soon after both of her sons die; this leaves Naomi Ruth and Orpah all living together. She is a Jew living in a Gentile land, without any family around her. She returns to Israel and the two girls decide to travel with her. As they begin to get into the journey, Naomi stops and says to the girls, stay here—return to your land and be with your people. I am going home, I have my family, you don’t need to leave all of yours. She blesses them and tells them to go back home. Orpah listens, but Ruth wants to go with her.
Ruth pleads in Chapter 1
And she said, “See, your sister-in-law has gone back to her people and to her gods; return after your sister-in-law.” But Ruth said, “Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the Lord do so to me and more also if anything but death parts me from you.”
Ruth is making a profession of friendship and commitment to Naomi and her Lord. Naomis friendship has shown her the love of Christ and drew her to the light and Ruth was so committed to the Lord she was willing to leave her entire family to be with this new friend in Naomi.
“Naomi’s friendship with the unbelieving ruth was a wise association. It was wise because it was focused on leading Ruth to God. Had it looked at any point as though Ruth was drawing Naomi into evil, then Naomi would have been best to seriously reconsider the relationship. But the dynamic was in the opposite, godly direction: Through Naomi’s friendship, Ruth left Moab and its idols and embraced the true and living God.”
God intends for redemptively focused friendships to be a common part of the Christian life.
Is this friendship or association leading the unbeliever to the light, or is it drawing me to the darkness? Any association which tends to lead an unbeliever to the light, to the church, and to the living God is a worthy and wise one.
By the way, Ruth eventually married Boaz and she was part of the line of Christ.
Do you know of people that have been lead to Christ through Godly friendships?
Its not always good news though when it comes to friendships
Turn to Genesis 13
Lot was the nephew of Abram. They both had lots of tents and herds and the land was not big enough to hold both so they come up with a solution.
Then Abram said to Lot, “Let there be no strife between you and me, and between your herdsmen and my herdsmen, for we are kinsmen. Is not the whole land before you? Separate yourself from me. If you take the left hand, then I will go to the right, or if you take the right hand, then I will go to the left.” And Lot lifted up his eyes and saw that the Jordan Valley was well watered everywhere like the garden of the Lord, like the land of Egypt, in the direction of Zoar. (This was before the Lord destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah.) So Lot chose for himself all the Jordan Valley, and Lot journeyed east. Thus they separated from each other. Abram settled in the land of Canaan, while Lot settled among the cities of the valley and moved his tent as far as Sodom.
Lot chose his land. In New Testament terms he chose the world instead of the Church. Lot chose where he wanted to go and based on his friendships he quickly went down the wrong path
Abram settled in the land of Canaan, while Lot settled among the cities of the valley and moved his tent as far as Sodom.
He lived near Sodom, but it didn’t take long for that to change
They also took Lot, the son of Abram’s brother, who was dwelling in Sodom, and his possessions, and went their way.
He soon moved into Sodom and not very long after that he continued down that path
The two angels came to Sodom in the evening, and Lot was sitting in the gate of Sodom. When Lot saw them, he rose to meet them and bowed himself with his face to the earth
Lot had became such good friends and so entangled with the people of Sodom that he was in a position of leadership, he was watching over the gate. He was being pulled more and more into darkness and was surrounded by wicked people.
This boils over into sinful decisions made in chapter 19 in which he even offers his daughters over sexually to a large group of men. Lot was not drawing these friends to the light, he was being pulled into darkness. His is a tragic case of being disarmed and then destroyed by close association with sin.
Proverbs is a guide, a book of wisdom for us. The key is to be careful of our friendships; they can take our clear view and it soon becomes clouded and our thinking about truth gets muddled. Have you ever found your self repeating a phrase or mimicking body language of someone. We are like sponges and we soak up things of people around us.
My son, fear the Lord and the king,
and do not join with those who do otherwise,
for disaster will arise suddenly from them,
and who knows the ruin that will come from them both?
The point here is so applicable for us right now. We have been given authority and God commands us to submit to it unless it goes against scripture. Are you friends with people that encourage you rebel against authority? Are you pointing people to the light or being pulled into darkness?
Lets bring conclusion to this; Christians should have numerous associations outside the church.
“As a result of our association with unbelievers, are we adopting mannerisms and habits that are themselves sinful or could lead to sin? Are we drifting toward rebellion against any legitimate authority? Are we being a moral and spiritual influence for good toward the unsaved, or in those associations are we being morally and spiritually influenced toward evil?”
We have to remember the truths of Romans 5
For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life.
We too were once dead, foolish, disobedient. But God saved us
but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
We that our believers have been showed the love of Christ and we have the responsibility to share that love with others.
“Just as God loved us and associated with us while we were still sinners we must, by his grace, extend similar love, grace, compassion, and mercy to the unbelievers we associate with in our daily lives. As we do so, we just need to exercise some care.”
Evaluate your friendships with this: is this friendship drawing me to Christ?
Am I pushing them towards the light or am I being pulled by the darkness?