Due Benevolence
Notes
Transcript
Handout
Handout
What do you do as a Christian man, when you're not sexually satisfied with your wife?
What do you do as a Christian man, when you're not sexually satisfied with your wife?
3 A husband has the responsibility of meeting the sexual needs of his wife, and likewise a wife to her husband.
4 Neither the husband nor the wife have exclusive rights to their own bodies, but those rights are to be surrendered to the other.
3 The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs.
4 The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife.
The IVP New Testament Commentary Series: 1 Corinthians On Marriage and Sexual Intercourse Within Marriage (7:2–7)
Paul makes very clear that the married couple has an obligation to each other sexually (marital duty, debt). To refuse to meet one’s spouse’s sexual desires is to deprive (rob, as in 6:8) the spouse of what is their right
The IVP New Testament Commentary Series: 1 Corinthians On Marriage and Sexual Intercourse Within Marriage (7:2–7)
The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband (v. 4) is literally “the wife does not have authority [power, right] over her own body, but yields it to her husband” (TNIV). The idea is that the wife (or husband) does not have the freedom to do as she (or he) pleases with her (or his) own body in this matter, because the other has a rightful claim to sexual satisfaction. This requires mutual submission (Eph 5:21).
The Passion Translation: New Testament Chapter 5
21 And out of your reverence for Christ be supportive of each other in love.
The Passion Translation: New Testament Chapter 5
28 Husbands have the obligation of loving and caring for their wives the same way they love and care for their own bodies, for to love your wife is to love your own self.
The Passion Translation: New Testament Chapter 5
29 No one abuses his own body, but pampers it—serving and satisfying its needs. That’s exactly what Christ does for his church! 30 He serves and satisfies usf as members of his body.
31 For this reason a man is to leave his father and his mother and lovingly hold to his wife, since the two have become joined as one flesh
I found This on a Christian Blog reason why your husband may not want to have sex with you
The three categories are
“Reasons that have nothing to do with you”,
“Reasons that definitely have to do with you”
“Reasons that may or may not have to do with you”.
Reasons that definitely have to do with you
Reasons that definitely have to do with you
You are overly critical and disrespectful
Maybe your husband has not turned to porn, but rather he fills his time with hobbies (like video games) or other projects and he has no desire for you sexually because you emasculate him with your constant criticisms. For some men their sex drive is so strong – that they will still have sex with a critical woman just to get the physical release they need, but for others with weaker libidos they will redirect their sexual energy into other areas.
“Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.” – Ephesians 5:33 (KJV)
“A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.” – Proverbs 12:4 (KJV)
2. You have let yourself go physically
Yes this affects some men more than others. Men are visual creatures – we are designed this way by God. Now most men can handle the natural aging process women go through with their breasts sagging and them getting love handles and bellies. Our bodies change with age and the majority of men accept these realities.
But there are extremes on this issue on both sides. Some men are constantly prompting their wives to get cosmetic surgeries in an attempt for their bodies to continue to look like that of a twenty year old and that is ridiculous. However we do have the other extreme where a wife let’s her body go and she gets massively obese. Let me just speak truth into your lives ladies – while there are a few men that will find obese woman attractive, the vast majority of men will not.
Contrary to what some blogs teach – Beauty does have a weight limit!
Some men will still have sex with their wives being vastly overweight but it is no longer fueled by their sexual attraction to their wife, but it is only fueled by their need for a release. Often these men will make sure the lights are turned off before proceeding. I know this is tough to hear – but it is the truth.
“But the Bible does not say that wives have to keep themselves beautiful for their husbands!” This is a common statement brought forward by women who do not wish to do the work that it takes to keep themselves beautiful. They are right – there is not a specific passage that says a wife must keep herself beautiful for her husband. BUT there are principles of Scripture that would require a wife to keep herself beautiful for her husband.
The Church is pictured as a bride adorned for her husband
“And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.” – Revelation 21:2 (KJV)
Ephesians 5 tells us that Marriage is a picture of the relationship of God and his people, Christ and his Church.
“For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.” – Ephesians 5:23-24 (KJV)
The model of marriage is – Man is symbolic of God and Woman is symbolic of the people of God. If Christ’s bride is adorned for her husband, should a Christian wife be any less adorned for her husband?
Also a wife must remember she is to submit to her husband in “everything”. That includes in the areas of sexuality and beauty. If your husband wants you to dress a certain way as long as it is appropriate to the occasion then you should do as you husband asks. Your husband should not have to ask you to keep yourself clean and well kept, as well as not obese – you ought to do this out of the recognition that your beauty is a symbol of the beauty of Christ’s bride who adorns herself for her husband.
3. You used to deny him sexually
This happens a lot to Christian wives. Early in your marriage you never denied your husband and you enjoyed sex together. Then the kids came along. You had years of pregnancies, raising kids and getting them off to school. Now you can finally breathe!
What you did not realize is during all those years of business you either subtly or directly denied your husband’s sexual advances. You made him feel selfish because you were so exhausted from dealing with the kids and you thought “How can he even think of having sex with all this going on? How can he be so selfish?” This devastated your husband in a way few women can comprehend. Eventually he determined that you simply did not care about his needs but simply saw him as a paycheck and helper with the kids.
Now after years of sexual denial you have decided you are ready to have sex! Well he is done. Some men might come back from this, while others will need counseling to get their minds straightened out about this. He may have a lot of unresolved bitterness that he needs to give to the Lord before he will be able to sexually desire you again.
