Table Manners

Intro

Did your parents ever have a set of rules for the dinner table?

Elbows on the table (example and story)

Rules for my kids

No electronics

Speak up and look waiter/waitress in the eye

No disgusting talk at dinner table

It is important to establish good table manners

Recap Series

Bottom Line

Our way is not always right, it is not always wrong, and it’s not always the only way to do things.

Today we are going to learn about the proper table etiquette to have while we have these Holy Conversations

Romans 14:13–21 NIV

13 Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister. 14 I am convinced, being fully persuaded in the Lord Jesus, that nothing is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for that person it is unclean. 15 If your brother or sister is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy someone for whom Christ died. 16 Therefore do not let what you know is good be spoken of as evil. 17 For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, 18 because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and receives human approval. 19 Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. 20 Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a person to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. 21 It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother or sister to fall.

Observations from Paul

Nothing (NO THING) in itself is evil.

It can become evil when not used for its intended purpose

Jump Rope story

Isaiah 44:14–15 NIV

14 He cut down cedars, or perhaps took a cypress or oak. He let it grow among the trees of the forest, or planted a pine, and the rain made it grow. 15 It is used as fuel for burning; some of it he takes and warms himself, he kindles a fire and bakes bread. But he also fashions a god and worships it; he makes an idol and bows down to it.

b. We make things evil by the way we treat it, use it, or talk about it

c. This is how idols are formed.

d. Paul is saying no thing that God has made is evil

The debate over food and wine (Gentiles vs Jews)

Paul says nothing is unclean in itself

It becomes evil by the way we treat it, use it, or talk about it.

Even though it’s allowed, it’s not always wise or loving

There are many things that are legal

Drinking alcohol

Smoking

Eating girlscout cookies for every meal

1 Corinthians 6:12 NIV

12 “I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything.

If we are mastered by something, then it is an addiction

Addiction is a form of idolatry

Using something to fill a need that only God can fill

Lots of us have addictions that are not necessarily illegal

Alcohol

Smoking

Over eating

Caffeine

Shopping

Social Media

Even though it’s allowed, it’s not always wise or loving.

The Kingdom of God is more important than our personal desires.

Good table manners are not just about what makes us comfortable

What makes our guests feel comfortable and honors them?

1 Corinthians 9:19–23 NIV

19 Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. 20 To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. 21 To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law. 22 To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. 23 I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.

Paul’s Proper Table Manners

1. Keep the Peace

Through our words and actions

Be less concerned about winning a disagreement

Matthew 5:9 NIV

9 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.

2. Build people up and don’t destroy them

No more labels

Don’t use words like “always” and “never”

Act like your not the most important person at the table

Ephesians 4:29 NIV

29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

3. Don’t do anything that may cause someone to stumble

Why do we always think it’s funny when someone else falls down?

It makes us feel better about ourselves

At least we are not that person

Matthew 18:7 CEB

7 How terrible it is for the world because of the things that cause people to trip and fall into sin! Such things have to happen, but how terrible it is for the person who causes those things to happen!

Denominational Stance

Abstinence in Alcohol and Tobacco Consumption or Distribution

Moderation is a relative term

What is moderate to one person may be excessive to others

It is all motivated out of a love for God and a love for our neighbors

It is about having good table manners

Challenge (How are your table manners?)

Are you keeping the peace through your words and actions?

Are you building people up or tearing them down?

Are you intentionally or unintentionally creating stumbling blocks for someone else?