Mother's Day

We are at the end of week 7 of being quarantined away from other people … other than our immediate families. Most of us have been used to going … to movies… out to eat… to ball games… dance school… etc. We are used to being around different people, but for the last 7 weeks we have been isolated from other people as everything has been shut down.

When something like this happens, it’s easy to get on each other’s nerves. So on this Mother’s Day, a day like not other Mother’s Day I want us to learn how to give each other some slack… to love each other better and to show mercy towards each other.

One of the hardest places to do this is at home. If you don’t believe me… How many of you have been having an argument and the phone rings and you answer it like you are on top of the world?

Too often we will treat a stranger better than we treat our own family.

Verse for guiding our family behavior

Psalm 101:2 The Living Bible

2 I will try to walk a blameless path, but how I need your help, especially in my own home, where I long to act as I should.

How many of you wish you acted better at home?

Test

When my spouse/sibling or another family member gets some details wrong while telling a story, do I

Interrupt them and correct them publically?

Say nothing and let it go, knowing that I have done the same?

When my spouse/sibling or another family member keeps making the same mistake over and over again, do I

Become irritated and angry with them?

Cut them some slack and forgive them… knowing I have done the same

When my spouse/sibling or another family member is getting more attention than I think they deserve do I

Feel resentful and feel the need to bring them down a notch?

Celebrate with them?

When my spouse/sibling or another family member says something I don’t understand, do I

Assume they have the best motivation for it?

Think the worst and question their motivation?

Am I more polite with strangers or my own family?

Mercy is Love in Action

So whatever is true about love is also true about mercy.

In our passage, God gives us 15 characteristics of real love… mercy. If you are not doing these things, you are not showing love.

1 Corinthians 13:4–8 NIV

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

4 Ways to show Mercy at home

1. You show mercy at home by overlooking irritations and offenses (1 CO 13:5)

When you have been quarantined like we have, it’s easy to get on each other’s nerves.

1 Corinthians 13:5 NIV

5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

It’s easy to become angry when you are isolated with each other. You tend to get on each other’s nerves. One reason is that you are not used to being together as much as you have.

ILL - retired police - how did you stay married for 30 years doing this? We worked different shifts.

Anger is not bad or sinful. In the bible God gets angry… Jesus got angry, so anger is not a sin, it’s how we handle it. Every great leader has learned how to harness and manage anger.

The real problem is how it comes out, and it will come out. Most people either blow up or clam up. Bioth are wrong responses. You have to learn to control anger.

Proverbs 15:18 GNB

18 Hot tempers cause arguments, but patience brings peace.

Proverbs 14:29 The Living Bible

29 A wise man controls his temper. He knows that anger causes mistakes.

Proverbs 14:17 NLT

17 Short-tempered people do foolish things, and schemers are hated.

Anger will cause you to get into arguments, make mistakes and do foolish things.

The way to overcome harmful anger at home is through love and mercy.

Proverbs 17:9 The Living Bible

9 Love forgets mistakes; nagging about them parts the best of friends.

When you keep remembering and bring up mistakes… you are not loving.

Proverbs 19:11 GNB

11 If you are sensible, you will control your temper. When someone wrongs you, it is a great virtue to ignore it.

Too many people become offended at anything. It’s a virtue to be able to NOT become offended at every little thing. This shows a lack of maturity.

People, especially those who are close, will always hurt your feelings. At work, people will hurt your feelings… and maybe there were actually wrong, but if we allow others to cause us to be offended, we will spend all of our time hurt and angry.

We have to learn how to overlook offense. When you get angry, ask these questions.

3 Questions to ask when you are angry

1. Why am in angry?

2. What do I really want?

3. How can I get what I want?

Will blowing up or clamming up get you what you want? No. It doesn’t even make you feel good… if you are honest.

Look at this…

1 Thessalonians 5:15 The Message

15 And be careful that when you get on each other’s nerves you don’t snap at each other. Look for the best in each other, and always do your best to bring it out.

If we could just live by this verse, everyone in our family would be happy… in our church… at work...

2. You show mercy at home by being kind when they don’t deserve it but need it.

In every family there are people who are VDPs… Very Draining People.

There are 4 kinds of VDPs.

They are difficult. They are hard to work with… to deal with. They are irresponsible, immature and don’t have good sicial skills.

They are demanding. pushy, aggressive, self centered, the world revolves around them.

They are disappointing. They let you down over and over again.

They are destructive people. abusive in relationships and they hurt everyone around them. They are manipulative, do not keep their word.

Did I miss anyone?

How do you deal with these kinds of people.

1 Corinthians 13:4 NLT

4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud

1 Corinthians 13:7 CEV

7 Love is always supportive, loyal, hopeful, and trusting.

We can be patient, kind supportive… whether they deserve it or not.

Yo may say how in the world can I do that? They have let me down, attacked me… how can I do that.

Proverbs 19:11 The Living Bible

11 A wise man restrains his anger and overlooks insults. This is to his credit.

Wisdom is understanding that person… what makes them do what they do. Also understand, our battle is spiritual not physical. People don’t just wake up and decide to hut others. They develop into this person because they are hurting. They may have made a series of bad decisions and they are hurting so they hurt others.

Hurting people ... hurt people

When you begin to understand why they do what they do, you can begin to be more patient with them. You look past their anger and see their fear… their pain and you can cut them some slack.

When you understand where they are coming from, you are able to be more patient with them.

Proverbs 3:27 GNB

27 Whenever you possibly can, do good to those who need it.

It doesn’t say do good to people who deserve it. Your co-workers, your friend, your spouse, your child might not deserve it, but the WOG says to do good to them.

Some of you are going to work with people that get on your nerves. Others are at home with kids… all day and night. Others are watching Grand kids for your kids who are working. When everyone gets back together… boom. Don’t go boom. Do good to each other. Be kind! They may have just been insensitive and rude… be kind.

Here are just a few reasons to be kind…

Reasons we are to be kind to others

1. Because God has been kind to me. (Eph 2:4-5)

How many are glad that God doesn’t give us what we deserve? The bible says that we DESERVE death. I am glad God doesn’t give me what I deserve.

Ephesians 2:4–5 NLT

4 But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much, 5 that even though we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!)

2. Kindness honors God (Pr 14:31)

Proverbs 14:31 GNB

31 If you oppress poor people, you insult the God who made them; but kindness shown to the poor is an act of worship.

Proverbs 14:31 NCV

31 Whoever mistreats the poor insults their Maker, but whoever is kind to the needy honors God.

Proverbs 14:31 NCV

31 Whoever mistreats the poor insults their Maker, but whoever is kind to the needy honors God.

3. Kindness will make you happy (Pro 12:25)

Proverbs 12:25 GNB

25 Worry can rob you of happiness, but kind words will cheer you up.

4. Kindness makes you attractive (Pro 19:22LB)

Proverbs 19:22 The Living Bible

22 Kindness makes a man attractive. And it is better to be poor than dishonest.

5. Kindness makes other people want to be kind to you. (James 2:13)

James 2:13 The Message

13 For if you refuse to act kindly, you can hardly expect to be treated kindly. Kind mercy wins over harsh judgment every time.

6. God blesses kindness. (Pro 14:21; 19:17)

Proverbs 14:21 CEV

21 It’s wrong to hate others, but God blesses everyone who is kind to the poor.

Proverbs 19:17 NCV

17 Being kind to the poor is like lending to the Lord; he will reward you for what you have done.

But what about family members who are unkind to you? Most of us have a family member who is a VDP. Kind of like Mary and Edith’s relationship in Downton Abby… Mary was never kind to Edith. You probably have someone like that in your life.

What do you do with that?

1 Thessalonians 5:15 NLT

15 See that no one pays back evil for evil, but always try to do good to each other and to all people.

Patricia - grew up in a military home with two alcoholic parents who moved around a lot. She grew up with many hurts. Her and her mother never had a warm relationship. Later she realized he mom had been raised by an aunt who never was close to her mom. After her step father passed away, her mom could not take care of herself, but Patricia did not want her to live with her and her husband, but eventually they had to take her in.

They cared for her through falls and broken hips… multiple surgeries. A stroke brought on Alzheimer’s and they cared for mom during Patricia’s second bout with breast cancer. Mercy is not easy deserved, nor is it a feeling. It was a choice that Patricia did for the same mother who had hurt her. Patricia, through all she went through… taking care of her mom, never got the love and warmth she longed for, but she took care of her anyway.

She said, mercy is never convenient or easy, but she knew God sent her to her so that she could learn the lesson of mercy. Retaliation never makes you happy, but the pathway to peace is through mercy.

All of that started when Patricia’s step father died and left her mom all alone. Most women outlive their husbands, so men the best mother’s day gift you can give your wife is to take care of your health.

3. You show mercy at home by letting go of past hurts

1 Corinthians 13:5 NLT

5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.

Don’t keep a record. Here is what that means.

Don’t rehearse it in your mind. (resentment)

Don’t keep bringing it up. (weapon)

Don’t tell others about it. let it go...

1 Corinthians 13:5 The Living Bible

5 never haughty or selfish or rude. Love does not demand its own way. It is not irritable or touchy. It does not hold grudges and will hardly even notice when others do it wrong.

Don’t hold grudges!

4. You show mercy at home by believing God is working in the lives of others.

You must believe that God is working in the life of your spouse even when you don’t see it. You must believe God is working in the lives of your kids even when you don’t see it. You must believe that God is working in the lives of your other family members – your parents – even though you don’t see it. You trust, you believe. Faith and mercy and love and grace all go together…

1 Corinthians 13:7 NLT

7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

When you keep trying to help… not giving up, you are showing love.

Psalm 28:2 GW

2 Hear my prayer for mercy when I call to you for help, when I lift my hands toward your most holy place.

I know it’s mother’s day and we honor the moms, but we are all in a crisis… some in several crises. You may feel hopeless. In this time we need to turn to the Lord… to God’s love and mercy.

Jeremiah, the prophet, life fell apart but he did not give up hope i God’s mercy.

Lamentations 3:20–23 NLT

20 I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss. 21 Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: 22 The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. 23 Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.

This si the source of our hope… the faithful love of the Lord which never ends. His mercy is fresh every morning. These ways to show love at home are the same ways God shows us love and mercy.

God overlooks and forgives your offenses by his mercy

God is KIND to you when you need it but do not deserve it.

God wipes out and forgets your past sine when you trust Jesus

God is working in YOUR life even when you don’t know it.

Prayer Time

Salvation

Pray for Mercy