Mothers Day

It’s Not Fair

Its mothers Day so we must acknowledge some random mom sayings and truths .

They say/ command things that are impossible like “look at the dirt on your back”

The yell from 4 rooms away and then get mad when you dont hear what they say.

they teach science…sort of......like what is the boiling point …report card day.

they like to share…Its Moms house until its time to clean then it magically becomes your house too.

I know the emotions brought on by days like this.

Trouble

- Life’s Not Fair

I don’t know where we learn it – the phrase, or even the concept, that everything in life is supposed to be fair. But, one of the first phrases you learn as a kid is, “That’s not fair!”

I dont really remember the first time using the phrase as a kid but I know in a blended family with step siblings on both sides It was easily thrown around alot

especially with pizza.

mom with pizza_wisdom took away the debate

Lena and I have 4 kids two daughters and two sons – Aiden is the youngest

Alex the oldest which leaves us Jordan and Karmin in the middle. but if anyone gets the middle child treatment and syndrome it karmin.

thekids like to play board games

theres just one problem Karmin is competitive …bad

and games that shes losing always ends up saying “thats not fair

every parent’s favorite line – we learn it from our parents – it’s the answer to the complaint, “That’s not fair.” “Hey - Life’s not fair”.

We laugh because we’ve all been there. games the last piece of pizza, counting to make sure you get the same number of Christmas presents as your brother - as kids, we want everything to be fair.

Maybe you feel like what we’re going through now is not fair.

especially for moms

You’re stuck at home without work and with three kids who need constant entertainment. You’re to the point of creating culinary masterpieces from the random stuff in the pantry - canned salmon and cheese quesadillas drizzled in some random sauce because that’s the only condiment bottle in your fridge that hasnt run out

If you have to see or hear Frozen 2 one more time, you might explode. You’re rationing toilet paper squares for each of your family members and singing while you wash your hands. This. Is. Not. Fair.

Our definition of fair is basically one of two things:

Fair – I get what I deserve – I earned it, or my actions warranted it. I worked hard and got a raise.

Even bad things can be fair. If I’m driving 80 mph and get a ticket, that’s fair. I got what I deserved. That’s fair.

The second definition fair is: I get what you get –

the thought is, “What makes you any better than me? Why should you get something I don’t?” This approach believes that not only should we get the same reward, we should get the same punishment. If we both drive 80 mph, the punishment should be equal. I get a ticket. You get a ticket. For kids – you got grounded, I got grounded. That’s fair – I get what you get.

That’s basically it – either I get what I deserve or I get the same thing as you. That’s what makes it fair.

Some of your biggest struggles in life come when you are dealt what seems to be an unfair set of circumstances. You look at your situation and say, “That’s not fair. This isn’t right. This shouldn’t happen. It shouldn’t happen to me. It shouldn’t happen to them. This is just not fair.”

· Someone you love and care about suddenly turns on you. That’s not fair.

· You eat healthy, work out, take lots of vitamins – and you still get cancer. That’s not fair.

· You or someone you love wants or needs a test, but you’re told there aren’t enough available. Yet, every time you turn the TV on, someone famous got tested that day and already have test results back. That’s not fair!

· During this time, it doesn’t seem equitable, not fair. Older people are more at risk. There are stories of people transmitting the disease to others, with no major effects on them. It’s not fair.

· Some people at work kept their jobs, others were laid off. Some businesses kept working, yours didn’t. Hearing the words “You aren’t essential.” That is tough to hear

· After being careful and taking all the precautions, you test positive for coronavirus. Your ridiculous, reckless neighbor breaks all the rules and is still healthy. That’s not fair.

· You are watching this video in isolation. You’ve been quarantined, and you wonder what you did or didn’t do to deserve this. Being alone and in pain causes your mind to wander and you are convinced God’s abandoned you.

I could go on and on. At some time or another, we all face it – something goes wrong, we didn’t deserve it to happen – it makes us mad - it’s just not fair.

Often it’s those same circumstances and struggles that cause people to be angry with God.

· If God was really a loving God, wouldn’t everything be fair?

· Would God really allow something like this?

· How could God let this happen?

· Why didn’t He stop it somehow?

· “Come on God – that’s not fair!”

As a result, people are filled with resentment, bitterness and anger. “If life isn’t fair, then God isn’t fair.”

Then, there are the super-spiritual people who try to make it your fault.

“There must be sin in your life.” When people say that, they basically are saying, “It is fair. You deserve this. You earned it.”

That’s not only not biblical, it’s spiritual abuse. Jesus said, “In this world, you will have tribulations.” Problems are going to happen. The people that blame your problem or sickness on sin will change their theology when they get sick or have a problem. If it happens to you, it’s your fault. If it happens to them, it’s the devil’s fault.

Or – “If you just have enough faith, God will intervene.” The thought being that if you somehow pray the right prayer, say the magic words, then everything will be OK.

Those things don’t help, do they? When life seem unfair, it’s the last thing you want to hear.

You might look and say, “Pastor Jeremy, what would you know about life not being fair? You’ve got a wonderful church, a wonderful family and a wonderful life. This is easy for you to talk about.”

First you would have to know what was lost to pastor here as well as the countless hours my entire household puts into the place. So believe me theres more than what the surface shows. Like the years stuck in addiction, I didnt want to lose everything,

Crystal and David

Desiree , husband, child with cancer.

Did I deserve any of that? No. Was it fair? No. It wasn’t fair at all. It shouldn’t have happened, but it did. Life wasn’t fair.

We struggle when life or circumstances aren’t fair. We carry the concept of fair from our childhood to our adult lives, but, it’s not really a Biblical concept – that you can expect everything to be fair. In fact, the message of the gospel, the whole point of the Bible – God’s plan to re-establish relationship with man - is anything but fair.

Paul wrote a letter that we call “Second Corinthians”, because it’s his second letter to the church in Corinth. Paul wrote the letter when things weren’t going well – when life wasn’t fair. Looking at the beginning of that letter, I want to give you a few thoughts – thoughts I hope will help you when life isn’t fair:

II Cor. 1:3All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. 4He comforts us in all our troubles…

See what that verse says? It doesn’t say, “You won’t have troubles”. I wish I could promise you that. I wish I could tell you if you commit your life to Christ, you will never have another problem. That’s not true. That’s not biblical. You are going to have problems. I’m going to have problems. That’s all part of living in this world.

However, I can make you an awesome promise. You don’t have to face trouble alone. God will comfort you. God will be with you – giving you peace and strength in your time of trouble. When life isn’t fair, you are not alone – God is with you.

4He comforts us in all our troubles – Why? - …so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. 5For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ. 6Even when we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation! For when we ourselves are comforted, we will certainly comfort you. Then you can patiently endure the same things we suffer. 7We are confident that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in the comfort God gives us.

What that basically says is, when life isn’t fair, my trouble prepares me to comfort you. Your trouble prepares you to comfort others.

“Wait a second! That sounds like another cliché!” It really does, doesn’t it? In a passage that is supposed to be about encouragement and comfort, that’s not all that comforting. “When I am comforted, then, I can comfort you.”

Years ago in my first real ministry leadership role I watched the guy above me fall back into addiction. For some reason he went backwards

I had 15 students that had only known me for about 3 days but the director they had known for months. I had to tell them he was no longer working at the facility due to his actions. The look on their faces of hurt and pain broke my heart. I vowed that I would never be the reason for them to have that look

So i prayed, God never let me forget their pain, dont let me forget the agony I was in during my addiction

Whoa – why would you pray that? Aren’t you supposed to get over that stuff? Just wait – the rest of my prayer was:

“Don’t let me forget so I will never want to go back. dont let me forget so I can help those going thru the same thing I did. Help me show them you in me

And now – it’s part of my life mission – to share the comfort I experienced with others. One of the criticism I get is that I spend too much time with “projects”. Now you know why. I can comfort them with the same comfort I received.

Did God let me experience that so I could comfort others? That doesn’t seem fair. I wouldn’t go back and re-live that for anything.

Listen – this is not popular, but it’s true.

What you learn when life isn’t fair prepares you to comfort, help and minister to others in the same situation.

Your response is predictable – “That’s not fair at all. Why should I endure something just to help someone else? What kind of God would allow that? That’s just not fair.”

reading this passage we can have the same reaction – “That’s not fair.”

And - you’re right. That’s not fair.

Remember our definitions of fair? “I get what I deserve”. “I get what you get.”

It’s fair if I get what I deserve. But, there’s no way I should suffer to help someone else. I don’t deserve that.

Here’s what jumped out at me as I read this passage – you’re probably ahead of me. Me suffer so someone else can be helped? That’s exactly what Jesus did – He suffered so we could be comforted.

When I really think about it, the cross wasn’t fair. In fact, it was maybe the most unfair moment of all time. Jesus Christ, the perfect, sinless Son of God hung on a cross paying the price for my sin – sin He didn’t commit. He suffered for my comfort. He died so I could have life. That’s not fair.

What’s fair?

Romans 6:23 says, For the wages of sin is death…

What do I deserve? What is the fair price for my sins? I should die. I should have been the one hanging on the cross, not Jesus. He paid the price for my failures. That’s not fair.

Fair is “I get what you get.” We all get the same punishment and the same rewards. As a kid, if my brother and I both fought, we both got spanked. That’s fair. We got the same punishment.

In this case,

· I did wrong.

· Jesus did no wrong.

· I got off free.

· He died on a cross.

· That’s not fair.

Fair is vastly overrated.

When you really think about it, fair is the last thing you want!

For the wages of sin is death… – that’s what is fair -…but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

A gift. Instead of paying the price for your sins, you get a free gift from God.

Jesus pays the price. You get the gift.

That’s not fair, it’s free. Thank God He’s not fair.

Jesus’ trouble – the cross - is my comfort.

Paul, facing a “life’s not fair” moment, continues:

8We think you ought to know, dear brothers and sisters, about the trouble we went through in the province of Asia. We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it. 9 In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God…

Paul says, “Up until now, we could handle it. But, when the real trouble, came, we learned: When life isn’t fair, you learn to rely on God, instead of yourself.”

Self-reliance is the opposite of God dependence.

When life isn’t fair, it forces you to admit, “I can’t handle life on my own. I don’t have all the answers or solutions. I can’t take it. I can’t do it. I can’t face this on my own. I need God. I need his help”.

Many people turn to God in those moments – when there are no obvious answers.

The “life’s not fair” moments bring you to relationship or back to relationship with God. You learn to rely on His strength,

His comfort, His help,

His love and His power.

It’s comforting to know God is with me. It’s somewhat encouraging to realize my trouble prepares me to comfort you. I need to learn to rely on God. But, the thing that really gives me strength and hope when life isn’t fair is the knowledge that

God will deliver me

back to our passage

But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead. 10And he did rescue us from mortal danger, and he will rescue us again.

Now, here it is - the promise I want you to learn today. This is such a good one in our current situation:

We have placed our confidence in him, and he will continue to rescue us.

Coronavirus does not stop the power of God.

We have placed our confidence in him, and he will continue to rescue us.

We don’t place our trust in the stock market or the economy

We have placed our confidence in him, and he will continue to rescue us.

When life isn’t fair, don’t give up. God is on your side.

We have placed our confidence in him, and he will continue to rescue us.

Because God proved His power – to defeat any enemy you can face when He defeated the ultimate enemy – death. Jesus paid an unfair price on the cross. Unfair – but not forever. God delivered Him. Three days later He was delivered from the grave – from the ultimate unfair moment, when He rose again.

When life isn’t fair, God will rescue you.

Fair has to do with right now – immediately – what happens to me today. “I get what you get. I get what I deserve.”

Your Mom was right. Life isn’t fair. Thank God. God didn’t promise this life would be fair. The cross wasn’t fair. God didn’t promise you fair, but He did promise you can be free!

Have unfair circumstances kept you from trusting God? You’ve been fooled into missing the only one who can set you truly free.

Fear has driven people in doors and caused them to isolate from others. Leaders have asked to distance ourselves from each other – NOT isolate ourselves.

Psalm 91:1–4 NLT

Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him. For he will rescue you from every trap and protect you from deadly disease. He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection.