When Christians Don't Agree

Again I want to welcome everybody that is joining us online today.

And for those joining us for the first time, I especially want to welcome you and would encourage you to take a moment and fill out a digital connect card at mcf.life/online so that we can better connect with you and send you some information about our church.

If you are new to our church, it would also be helpful for you to know that here at MCF we practice a form of preaching called “Expository Preaching”.

What that means is we believe the Bible is best taught by taking books of the Bible and then studying them from beginning to end, chapter by chapter, verse by verse, in order to better understand what the Bible says and how it applies to our lives.

That being said, we are currently doing that through the book of Acts. A NT book written by a first century disciple named Luke, who wrote it for two primary reasons:

First, to give us a history of the church. How it started. Who was there, the circumstances that surrounded it.

Second, to give us a ministry template of sorts. A template for how to accomplish the mission Jesus has given us to take the gospel to the entire world.

So, if you haven’t been with us, I would encourage you to go online to MCF.life where you can watch or listen to all the messages leading up to today.

However, today we are picking up in Acts 15, as we begin of a new section in the book. A section that begins with the Apostle Paul making preparations to start his second missionary journey.

A journey that like the first will have its ups and downs, but will ultimately result in many churches being planted, and a great number of people coming to faith in Jesus.

All that to say, this next section is going to be an exciting section as Paul faces a number of challenges from demonic encounters, to imprisonment, to debating Greek philosophers, to dealing with all kinds of crazy situations as he takes the Gospel to the Gentile world. I can promise you you won’t want to miss a Sunday as we travel with Paul on his second missionary journey.

But as I said, this journey begins with some preparation as Paul puts his ministry team together and makes plans for the journey ahead. And believe it or not, it will be in his preparation that Paul faces his first challenge.

Now, you might be wondering, “What was the challenge?”

Well, we’ll get to that in a moment. But before we do I want to begin by building some framework for what we are about to read. And to do that, I want to begin by asking you a question I think we can all relate with. And the question is this:

Question - Have you ever had a disagreement with someone that resulted in a parting of ways with that person?

For example, maybe in a conversation with a friend, a topic came up where you each had strong opposing views. Views that led to an argument and a relational divide between you and that friend. Views that maybe even resulted in the friendship ending and a parting of ways.

Or maybe you had a disagreement with a family member. Maybe a brother, sister, or cousin. Something that was said or done that has brought a relational or family divide. Something that has resulted in a parting ways.

Or maybe instead of a person, it was an organization. For example, maybe you had a job that you really enjoyed, but then you found out the company you worked for was doing something unethical or immoral. Something you couldn’t stand for.

Or maybe your company decided to move the organization in a direction you didn’t agree with. Something that you just couldn’t accept. And so after expressing your concern, and seeing it wasn’t going anywhere, you decided to part ways and go find a different company you could align with.

I think if we all think about it, we’ve all had situations like that in our life where our convictions, views, or beliefs caused a relational divide or parting of ways.

The reason I ask you to consider that question, is because as we come to Acts 15 today, Paul is facing such a situation.

A situation that has led to a disagreement with a brother in Christ. A man named Barnabas, a man he was very close to. And unfortunately, it’s a disagreement that will result in a relational divide and a parting of ways.

Now, at this point, you might be thinking, “Wow pastor, something really bad must have happened? Did Barnabas do something immoral or unethical? Something maybe even sinful that would lead to Paul to part ways with him?”

Thankfully, it was none of those things. But instead, what it had to do with was personal convictions. Strong opposing convictions that each held. A conviction that neither was willing to budge on, and as a result, the only option was for them to go there separate ways.

Now, you might be thinking, “Wow, that’s too bad. I hate to hear that. And I feel bad for Paul and Barnabas. But I’m not sure how this applies to us?”

It applies to us, because what happened between Paul and Barnabas could easily happen between any two or more Christians within a church body.

Because the reality is, we aren’t always going to agree with one another. We’re not always going to see eye to eye. Which honestly is ok, as long as it’s not a matter of something unbiblical, immoral, or something obviously unethical.

For example, if you tell me, “It’s ok to have premarital sex as a Christian”, we would have a major problem, because the Bible is extremely clear on that matter.

However, there could be times when we disagree on a matter of personal conviction, something that’s not immoral, sinful or unbiblical, but that could lead to the parting of ways.

For example, as a Christian, maybe you have a strong conviction that getting a tattoo is a sin. I know I was taught that growing up.

But then you meet someone who is also a Christian but their conviction is that getting a tattoo isn’t a sin. In fact, they have several. And as a result, you get sideways with one another.

Now, some of you might be thinking, “But pastor, isn’t it sinful to get a tattoo? Doesn’t the Bible say that?” No, it doesn’t. What the bible says in Leviticus 19 is to not mark your body like the pagans do. Which is in reference to cutting oneself as an act of worship to pagan gods. Not the same thing.

So, getting a tattoo isn’t a sin but really a matter of ones personal conviction.

When it comes to tattoos though, a better question would be, “Is it wise?”

Well, I guess it depends on where and what you tattoo on your body for the rest of your life. Because I can tell you I’ve met a lot of people with tattoos that have a lot of regret. But it’s not a sin and we shouldn’t judge or condemn somebody for it.

But you can see how this would become an issue that divides a brother or sister in Christ, right? And there would be a number of examples would could talk about when it comes to something like this. For example, whether a Christian can drink or not would be another topic that could divide Christians.

That being the case, we need to understand why and how these disagreements take place, and how we should respond in such cases. Because in a way, this is what has happened with Paul and Barnabas.

And so, here’s what I want to do in order to explain what’s going on and how this applies to us:

First, I want to read through the story so we can get an idea of what happened.

Second, I want to walk back through the story and explain why it happened.

Finally, I want to answer the question, “What should we do or how should we respond when a disagreement between brother’s and sister’s in Christ leads to a parting of ways?”

So, to help us get started, let’s jump into the passage and find out what happened. Beginning in verse 36 Luke writes:

Acts 15:36–40 ESV

36 And after some days Paul said to Barnabas, “Let us return and visit the brothers in every city where we proclaimed the word of the Lord, and see how they are.” 37 Now Barnabas wanted to take with them John called Mark. 38 But Paul thought best not to take with them one who had withdrawn from them in Pamphylia and had not gone with them to the work. 39 And there arose a sharp disagreement, so that they separated from each other. Barnabas took Mark with him and sailed away to Cyprus, 40 but Paul chose Silas and departed, having been commended by the brothers to the grace of the Lord.

So, that’s what happened, and as you can see it wasn’t about anything immoral, unethical, or sinful. What it had to do with was a disagreement over a man called John Mark. A disagreement that led to a parting of ways, with Paul going his way and Barnabas going his.

And so to help us get our arms around what happened here, let’s walk back through the passage and see if we can discover why this happened and what caused it.

So, beginning with verse 36, notice first what Luke tells us.

Acts 15:36 ESV

36 And after some days Paul said to Barnabas, “Let us return and visit the brothers in every city where we proclaimed the word of the Lord, and see how they are.”

Luke says after a period of time, Paul felt like it would be a good idea to retrace the steps of their first missionary journey and go visit some of the churches they had planted. And so he basically says to Barnabas, “Hey, let’s go see how they are doing.”

And honestly, it shouldn’t surprise us that Paul wants to do this. Because if you know anything about the Apostle Paul, you should know this. He cared deeply for the people and churches he planted. In fact, in 2 Corinthians, after listing off some of the challenge he was facing, he says this:

2 Corinthians 11:28 ESV

28 And, apart from other things, there is the daily pressure on me of my anxiety for all the churches.

Paul says he has a daily concern for the churches he’s planted. An to be honest, I can relate with that myself, because what that represents is the heart of a pastor. A pastor who has a deep love and concern for his flock.

All that to say, no surprise that Paul wants to go visit them.

So, was that the issue? Was the issue that Paul wanted to go visit the churches and Barnabas didn’t?

No, not at all. Because apparently Barnabas was all for it. Barnabas was like, “Sign me up!”

So, what’s the problem? The problem is Barnabas wants to take somebody with them. Because Luke writes:

Acts 15:37 ESV

37 Now Barnabas wanted to take with them John called Mark.

Barnabas was like, “That sounds great Paul. But let’s take John Mark with us as well.”

And apparently, that’s the problem.

So, before we look at why it was a problem, let’s take a moment and make sure we all know who John Mark is.

You might recall we first met John Mark back in chapter 12 as he joined Paul and Barnabas on their first missionary journey. And if you recall, John Mark is an important figure in Biblical history for a couple of reasons:

First, John Mark was a disciple of the Apostle Peter. Which means, John Mark would have had extensive knowledge of Jesus and the Gospel. First hand information from the Apostle Peter himself.

Second, because of his extensive knowledge, John Mark wrote a book called, “The Gospel of Mark”. Maybe you’ve heard of it. A Gospel that just happens to be one of the four gospels recorded in the Bible. A gospel that details the life and ministry of Jesus.

All that to say, Mark is the man. He’s just the kind of guy you’d think you want with you on a ministry journey.

That being the case, Barnabas suggests to Paul, that not only do they go visit the churches, but they should take John Mark with them again. Which you would think wouldn’t be a problem. But apparently it is. Because Luke writes:

Acts 15:38 ESV

38 But Paul thought best not to take with them one who had withdrawn from them in Pamphylia and had not gone with them to the work.

Luke says as Barnabas makes the suggestion, Paul doesn’t think it’s a good idea. Paul says, “No, not going to happen?”

So, what’s Paul’s problem? Well, if you recall, while John Mark started the first missionary journey with Paul and Barnabas, he didn’t finish it. Back in Acts 13 we read this:

Acts 13:13 ESV

13 Now Paul and his companions set sail from Paphos and came to Perga in Pamphylia. And John left them and returned to Jerusalem,

Luke says at some point in the first missionary journey, John Mark left Paul and Barnabas and returned to Jerusalem.

You might ask, “Why did he leave them?” Honestly, we don’t know. It could have been for a number of reasons.

Maybe he wasn’t enjoying the journey.

Maybe he didn’t feel useful.

Maybe he had other obligations.

Maybe he and Paul had a personality conflict.

Maybe he didn’t feel called to the mission they were on.

The fact is, we don’t know, and it would be speculation on our part to try and determine why he left.

But apparently, whatever the reason was, it really bothered Paul that he left them. Because fast forward to chapter 15 as Barnabas suggests they take John Mark, and Paul says, “Not going too happen!”

So, what’s Paul’s problem? Well, apparently Paul does know the reason John Mark left, and in Paul’s mind, it wasn’t a good reason to abandon the mission.

So Paul’s thinking is, “If he abandoned us once, for what he considers an illegitimate reason, what’s to stop him from doing it again.”

What that means then is, for Paul this is an issue of loyalty and trust.

And again, this shouldn’t surprise us about the Apostle Paul. Because throughout his letters Paul’s conviction is you’re either with him or you’re not, and there isn’t much room in between. Because for Paul, getting the gospel out is a matter of life and death, and he doesn’t want anybody on the trip that isn’t as committed as he is. Paul doesn’t want wishy washy ministry partners. And that’s his conviction.

And as a result, this is where the disagreement turns into an argument. Because as Paul holds his ground, Luke writes:

“And there arose a sharp disagreement...” Acts 15:39a (ESV)

Luke says Paul’s answer didn’t set well with Barnabas and it ends up turning into an all out shouting match.

How do I know it was a shouting match? Because the word translated “sharp” comes from the Greek word “paraxysmos”, and it literally means - to have a severe argument based on an intense difference of opinion.

So, what that means then, is this argument got emotional. Because both men have opposing convictions when it comes to John Mark.

So, a good question would be, “Why is Barnabas ok with John Mark going even though John Mark abandoned them on the first mission?”

Great question, and there are a couple of reasons:

First, when it comes to personality, it would appear that Barnabas is a little more lax and more of a second chance kind of guy.

In fact, back in Acts 4:36 we are told his name actually means “Son of encouragement”. Which means, Barnabas is one of those guys you would want in your corner.

He’s the guy, who when you’ve had a rough day is there to cheer you up and help you move forward. He’s the guy, when you fall down, he’s going to help you get back up.

In fact, what’s so ironic about Paul not wanting to give John Mark a second chance, is that it was actually Barnabas who encouraged all the disciples to give Paul a second chance.

Because if you recall, before Paul became a Christian, he was murdering Christians. And so after is conversion, Paul had a past reputation to overcome. But guess who was there to encourage everybody to give Paul that second chance? Listen to what Luke writes about this in Acts 9:

Acts 9:27 ESV

27 But Barnabas took him and brought him to the apostles and declared to them how on the road he had seen the Lord, who spoke to him, and how at Damascus he had preached boldly in the name of Jesus.

Is that’ ironic, that when Paul needed a second chance, Barnabas was the one encouraging everybody to give him one. And that’s just who Barnabas is.

Which means, Barnabas’s conviction is to give people a second, third, or maybe even a fourth chance. He’s a guy that doesn’t give up on people. Like I said, a guy you want in your corner.

And so, this is why they are arguing over John Mark. Because Barnabas believes in John Mark and Paul doesn’t. For Paul, John Mark’s track record disqualifies him from going on the trip. So, that’s the first reason.

However, there is a second reason Barnabas is backing John Mark, and it has to do with family ties. Because not only are Barnabas and John Mark brother’s in Christ, they are also cousins. We know this because in Colossians 4 Paul makes the connection. He writes:

Colossians 4:10 ESV

10 Aristarchus my fellow prisoner greets you, and Mark the cousin of Barnabas (concerning whom you have received instructions—if he comes to you, welcome him),

You’ve heard the term, blood is thicker than water. Well, here you go. Probably the case to some degree here. Because more than likely, Barnabas is somewhat offended that Paul wouldn’t trust and wouldn’t want one of his family members on the trip.

So, as you can see, this isn’t a matter of immorality, ethics, or sin. For the most part, it’s a matter of conviction.

For Paul the trip is too important to take somebody who has been wishy washy in the past.

For Barnabas, he believes in cousin John Mark, and believes he deserves a second chance even though he was wishy washy in the past.

And as a result, the two are at an impasse on agreement.

So, how do they solve the problem? Check this out:

Acts 15:39–41 ESV

39 And there arose a sharp disagreement, so that they separated from each other. Barnabas took Mark with him and sailed away to Cyprus, 40 but Paul chose Silas and departed, having been commended by the brothers to the grace of the Lord. 41 And he went through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches.

Wow, that's almost a little shocking, right? Shocking because you would think, two mature Christians like Paul and Barnabas could work it out. After all, it’s the Apostle Paul.

But unfortunately, at this point, they don’t. In fact, from the way Luke puts it, they were pretty much acting like children as Barnabas basically said, “Fine, I’ll take my toys and go play somewhere else.” And Paul was like, “Fine, I’ll get my own toys. I didn’t want to play with you anymore anyways!”

Kind of like a couple of kids, right?

So, what is going on here? What’s Luke trying to show us? Why is he giving us this detail?

Is he trying to give us an example of Christian immaturity?

Is trying to show us that Paul is too harsh and hard headed?

Is he trying to show us that Barnabas is too forgiving and naive?

What exactly is the purpose of this story?

What I want to suggest to you, is that Luke tells us this story to demonstrate a couple of realities when it comes to church life and Christian relationships. Realities that every church and Christian relationship will face.

The first reality is this:

Reality # 1- When it comes to sharing the gospel, there are going to be different strokes for different folks.

And when I say that, I’m not talking about differences in our need to share the gospel.

The fact is, if you’re a Christian, one of your primary jobs while on planet earth is to share the gospel with anybody and everybody that doesn’t know Jesus. As a Christian, there is no getting around that.

And we see that with Paul and Barnabas. Because both men have a strong conviction and passion to share the gospel. Because they are both all about going on the second missionary journey and leading people to Jesus.

But where they disagree, is on who should be on their ministry team. Why?

Because for Paul, he has certain expectations for his team members. Expectations that require a certain level of commitment. A commitment level in Paul’s mind that is necessary to accomplish the mission. And apparently, for Paul, based on past experience, he doesn’t believe John Mark shares that conviction. So he’s out.

But Barnabas has different expectations of his team members. He’s not as militant and rigid as Paul. He sees John Mark as an asset to the mission, not a deterrent or somebody that can’t be relied upon. So, he’s willing to overlook John Mark’s past abandoment of the team.

And what this highlights is that Paul and Barnabas have two totally different approaches and personalities when it comes to sharing the gospel. Which doesn’t make one right and one wrong, but just different.

In fact, when it comes to sharing the gospel, because he’s an encourager, Barnabas is probably more of a pat you on the back kind of guy. Meaning, while he tells the truth, he puts a spoon full of sugar with it. He’s an encourager. He’s the Joel Olsteen of his day.

And Paul is more of a punch you in the gut kind of guy. Meaning, he’s not afraid to call a spade a spade. He’s the Billy Graham of his day. Meaning, he tells it as it is.

In fact, we see a glimpse of this in Paul’s letter to the Galatians. Because in Galatians 2, Paul recounts an incident that took place where Paul didn’t like how Barnabas and some of the other disciples were treating some Gentile Christians. And so instead of sweeping it under the rug, Paul addressed it. Look at what he writes in Galatians 2:

Galatians 2:11–13 ESV

11 But when Cephas came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he stood condemned. 12 For before certain men came from James, he was eating with the Gentiles; but when they came he drew back and separated himself, fearing the circumcision party. 13 And the rest of the Jews acted hypocritically along with him, so that even Barnabas was led astray by their hypocrisy.

In this passage Paul recounts a time when the Apostle Peter visited the church at Antioch, which was a Gentile church. And apparently, at first, Peter had no problem interacting with the Gentile Christians. But then, another group of Religious Jewish Christians shows up, the group we talked about last week. A group of Jewish Christians who believed Gentiles needed to be circumcised in order to be saved. And apparently, upon their arrival, Peter’s attitude towards the Gentile Christians changes. And Paul isn’t going to stand for it, because look at how Paul responds:

“but when they came he drew back and separated himself, fearing the circumcision party.” Galatians 2:12b (ESV)

Pauls says because Peter was worried he’d offend the religious Jewish Christians, he started treating the Gentile Christians like second class citizens. And it really ticked Paul off. Because when Paul saw what was happening, Paul writes:

“I opposed Peter to his face, because he stood condmened.” Galatians 2:11 (ESV)

In other words, Paul called Peter on the carpet. Paul said, “Peter, what’s your problem? Before the religous Jews showed up, you were all about fellowshipping with the Gentile Christians. But now that they’ve arrived, you’re acting like your better than the Gentile Christians. Peter, you’re being a hypocrite.”

But Peter wasn’t the only one who had been led astray. Because Paul goes on to write:

Galatians 2:13 ESV

13 And the rest of the Jews acted hypocritically along with him, so that even Barnabas was led astray by their hypocrisy.

Paul says not only was Peter acting like a hypocrite, but Barnabas was as well.

All that to say, when it comes to sharing the gospel, Paul means business. And he’s not afraid to hold people to a certain standard.

What that means then is, if you want to minister with the Apostle Paul, then you better be willing to buckle up buttercup. Because Paul isn’t messing around.

And again, what this highlights is the differences between Paul and Barnabas. And again, it’s not about right or wrong, just different. Because the fact is, there were probably people Paul wouldn’t reach with that ministry approach. People that needed a softer touch. People who needed to hear the gospel from somebody like a Barnabas.

So, when it comes to John Mark, Paul says, “He doesn’t fit the bill for what I’m doing.” Which is probably why Barnabas finally said, “Ok Paul, that’s fine. You go your way, and I’ll go go my way, and I’ll take John Mark with me.”

Now, at this point you might be thinking, “Ok pastor, I get what you are saying, but that just sounds so petty. I can’t believe they couldn’t work this out.”

Yeah, you’re right. It’s too bad, and it is petty. But you know what, isn’t it true that we aren’t much different?

Because, isn’t it true that most of the arguments that tend to divide people within the church are actually petty as well?

For example, I’ve seen churches split over carpet color. I’ve seen people leave churches because they didn’t like what the pastor wore. I’ve seen churches fall apart as they bicker over whether they should sing hymns or modern worship music.

The truth is, we are sometimes just as petty as we refuse to budge when it comes to our personal religous and spiritual convictions when it comes to church life.

And the reason we’re petty is because we don’t udnertsand or we’ve forgotten that when it comes to sharing the gospel, it’s different strokes for different folks.

Let me explain what I mean like this:

When it comes to Marysville Christian Fellowship, we have a certain approach when it comes to reaching people and sharing the gospel. And it’s basically a three step approach.

Step #1 - We meet and love people where they are at.

Meaning when you first attend MCF, we take you just like you came in the door. For us, there’s no judgment of who you are, who you’ve been, or where you came from. Just like Jesus, we meet you where you are at.

Step #2 - We lead you to Jesus. Meaning, we don’t leave you where you are at. Instead, we lead you to the one who can transform your life. So, we point you to Jesus.

However, in order to do that, it requires another step.

Step #3 - We tell you what the Bible says.

In fact, for us, what the Bible says is a big deal. We take it very serious, because we believe the Bible is God’s Word and is the ultimate and final authority of truth.

And so, for us, if the Bible says it, we’re all about it. But if it doesn’t say it, we’re not. And to be honest, we’re pretty radical about it.

Now, here’s what you need to understand about this approach. Much of this approach is based on the way I’m wired. You say, “Why on you?”

Simply put, because I’m the Lead Pastor and Shepard of this church. Which means, how we approach and minster to people is largely based off of my personality and my convictions for sharing the gospel. That’s just the way it works.

But here’s the deal on that. What that means then is, not everybody that attends MCF may appreciate or enjoy our approach. In fact I know they won’t.

Let me give you a couple of examples of what I’m talking about:

Example #1 - When Denise and I first came to MCF in 2012, there was a small group of people in the church who wanted the church to go in a certain direction. Really in more of a religous direction. And honestly, they thought I would be the pastor that could lead the church down that path.

But after a few months went by, they quickly realized that I wasn’t leading the church in the way they wanted to go. Because at the end of the day, I’m not a religous pastor, I’m a relational pastor. I’m the kind of pastor that meets people where they are at.

And so, after some intense debate, they left the church and parted ways and went to another church. In fact, they started their own church. So, that’s one example.

Another example would be people who have attended MCF, and honestly, they just didn’t jive with our approach and style.

They didn’t like that we don’t have a cross in the sanctuary. They didn’t like the fact the pastor preached in jeans. They didn’t like the modern worship style, they wanted hymns. They didn’t like that so and so, who has a questionable reputation, was sitting across from them. Why? Because they don’t take people where they are at.

And then, there have even been some who were bothered by how committed we are too God’s Word. They didn’t like being challenged. They didn’t want to be in a church that told them the truth. And they thought I was to yelly and intense. They wanted a church that would make them feel good. A pastor that would spoon feed them a feel good message. But guess what, I’m not a spoon full of sugar pastor. I’m a tell you how it is pastor.

My point is, not every church is for every person. We all have different ways of reaching people and sharing the gospel. And that’s ok, because it’s not about right or wrong, it’s just different.

However, because it’s different strokes for different folks, people will part ways. And guess what, that’s actually a good thing. Because if every church was the same and tried to reach people in the same way, we’d only reach a certain group of people. But because we’re different, we’re able to reach different people, and in the process, more people.

That’s what happened with Paul and Barnabas. Because although they went their separate ways, they both continued to reach people for Jesus. They just reached different people. And they reached them in the way they were geared to reach them.

Now, you might be thinking, “Ok pastor, I get it. But it’s not good that Paul and Barnabas had a falling out, right? I mean shouldn’t christians agree to disagree on stuff like that?”

Yes, which leads us to a second reality:

Reality #2 - When it comes to sharing the gospel, it’s possible to part ways and still be friends.

While the current relational circumstance between Paul and Barnabas wasn’t good, the good news of this story, is not only did Paul and Barnabas each go on to reach more people for Jesus, but at some point they reconciled with one another. You say, “How do we know that?”

We know because the Bible indicates that. For example, in Colossians 4:10 Paul writes:

Colossians 4:10 ESV

10 Aristarchus my fellow prisoner greets you, and Mark the cousin of Barnabas (concerning whom you have received instructions—if he comes to you, welcome him),

Notice as Paul writes from prison to the church at Colossi, he encourages them to welcome Barnabas when he comes to their church. Which obviously means, at some point Paul and Barnabas worked it out their differences. Otherwise, Paul wouldn’t be putting his stamp of approval on the ministry of Barnabas.

But not only did Paul reconcile with Barnabas, he apparently reconciled with John Mark as well. How do we know? Again, because the Bible indicates that. In his letter to Timothy, look at what Paul writes:

2 Timothy 4:11 ESV

11 Luke alone is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, for he is very useful to me for ministry.

In this passage, Paul requests that Timothy find John Mark and bring him to him. Why? Well, Paul tells us. He says, “Because he is very useful to me for ministry.”

Apparently, after Paul settled down, he realized that John Mark wasn’t so bad. And that John Mark offered something he couldn’t. After all, he did write the Gospel of Mark.

And so he apparently realizes he had too quickly judged John Mark. That at the end of the day, they were on the same team, they just had a different plays and a different way of winning the game. And now, Paul sees that John Mark is very useful to his ministry. Because as we said, not everybody is open to an Apostle Paul approach.

All that to say, it’s possible to part ways and still remain friends as you learn to appreciate each others differences. But for that to happen, you have to at some point recognize it’s not about right or wrong, it’s just different.

I know for me, I’ve learned this the hard way.

It happened several years ago when I was in a ministry position as a staff pastor, during a time where I had become disgruntled with the way the Lead pastor was leading the church. In fact, I became so disgruntled that I felt I needed to say something. And unfortunately it turned into a “sharp disagreement” between me and the pastor that led to a parting of ways.

And if I’m honest, for the first couple of years, I harbored un-forgiveness and anger towards that pastor, until, I became a Lead Pastor and faced people who didn’t agree with how I was leading MCF. And then I Learned the reality of different strokes for different folks. I learned that different churches and different pastors reach people differently.

And I realized in that moment, that it wasn’t about a right or wrong approach, but just about being different. And that my former pastor was geared to reach people in a certain way and I was geared to reach people in a different way. And that’s not a bad thing, it’s a good thing. And that actually, in my leaving, more people were now being reached where he is, but now where I am.

And the good news of that story, is after I learned that lesson, I scheduled a meeting with that pastor, and I apologized for my behavior and attitude. And I learned a powerful lesson. That it’s ok to be different and part ways, and not only that, but you can still remain friends.

But again, for that to happen, you have to embrace the idea of different strokes for different folks.

Now at this point you might be thinking, “Ok pastor, this is all very intersting. And I’m happy that you learned that lesson. But how exactly does this apply to me?”

As we close today, I’d like to suggest it applies in a couple of different ways:

Application #1 - Just because you have a personal conviction about something, doesn’t make you right and others wrong.

The fact is, as you attend church and become a part of a church body, there are going to be people who have different convictions than you do.

People who think it’s ok to get a tattoo. People who think it’s ok to have a beer every once in a while. People who think it’s ok to listen to secular music. People who may even have a different political view than you, and instead of being super conservative, they’re more liberal. People who vote for Donald Trump while you vote for Joe Biden. The fact is, not everybody is going to see life exactly as you do.

And what you have to come to terms with, is that as long as it’s not unbiblical, immoral, or unethical, you can’t make your conviction their conviction. You can’t say, “It’s my way or the highway” or “I’m right and you’re wrong”.

Because if you do that, it will bring separation. It will cause a relational divide. It may even cause you to part ways with that person in an unhealthy way.

And unfortunately it happens way too often in churches. As people bicker and quarrel over the minor while ignoring the major. And in the end becoming a church that isn’t reaching anybody.

Application #2 - You won’t always like everything your church does.

Let me explain it like this.

As you attend MCF, you may discover there are some things we do that you don’t like. For example, you may find yourself wishing we sang hymns instead of modern worship. Or we might make a change in how we do something that you don’t jive with.

For instance, I had somebody upset with me one time because we switched from collection plates to collection buckets for offering. They nearly lost their mind over it.

In addition to that, there might be people put in leadership that you don’t care for. People like John Mark, who you don’t think have proven themselves. People you’re unwilling to follow or submit too because they have a certain past.

All that to say, you’re not always going to like everything MCF does in order to reach people with the gospel.

And you know what, that’s ok. Because as long as it’s not unbiblical, immoral, or unethical, then it’s just a matter of conviction and preference.

And at the end of the day, what you have to decide is, is it worth parting ways over?

I’m going to say, in most cases its not. And that the best thing you could do, is come to terms with the reality, that it’s not about right or wrong, or about who you think is qualified or not qualified, it’s just about different.

That no, it’s not your preference or how you would do it, but obviously it’s working. And at the end of the day, that’s the most important thing.

Application #3 - If you must part ways, strive to retain the friendship.

The reality is, if you can’t adjust to the different, that’s ok. Because there probably is a church or body of believes out there that you would jive with. A church that is reaching different people in a different way, and in a way you more relate with.

A group of Christian friends who tend to see life through the lens you see it through.

And again, that’s ok. But what you can’t do is compeltely dismiss the other friendships and let anger and resentment set in. Instead you must do everything you can to preserve the friendship.

For example, last year, we had a couple leave MCF to attend another church. If I’m honest, at first I was a little hurt by it.

But when I talked to them about it, they just said, “Pastor, we just feel a connection with this other church and the pastor in a way we don’t at MCF. We feel like God is calling us there to help this pastor.”

You know what, I can’t argue with that. so I said, “That’s great. We will miss you, and I know you will be a blessing to that church.”

And I truly meant that. And guess what, I’m still friends with this couple today. Because it’s not about right or wrong, it’s about different.

The same is true of the pastor I served under years ago. The reality is, I wouldn’t work under his ministry again. Not because it’s wrong or because I don’t like him, but because how he does ministry doesn’t fit my ministry convictions.

But that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have him come speak at MCF sometime. Because I recognize his differences are actually valuable. That he offers something to people in a way that I can’t.

And the same will be true of your relationships. Because there will be Christians you interact with, even in our church, that you don’t jive with. People who aren’t like you. People who have a different background than you. People who see life a little bit differently than you. And that doesn’t make you better, it just makes them different than you.

And guess what, different is good. Because in a church body, we need different. Because it’s what makes us stronger. Because we all offer something valuable to the body. We just have to learn to appreciate the differences, and quite honestly, be willing to embrace them.

I’m telling you, if you can figure that out, it will save you from a lot of frustration and heartache not only in your church life, but in life in general.

I guess my bottom line is this. If you want to be the kind of Christian that reaches as many people as you can for Jesus, you can’t get caught up in the differences of others. And you can’t view them as less able and less valuable than you.

Instead, you have to learn to see the value we each have, and encourage one another to use our differences to reach as many people as we can with the Gospel.

In the end, that’s what Paul came to terms with. Through time and experience he recognized the value of both Barnabas and John Mark. And that while they struggled to partner together in ministry, they each offered something of value to the kingdom. Something the other couldn’t.

That’s my prayer for MCF. That as we continue to reach this county for Jesus, and as different people come into our church, we would learn to embrace our differences, utilize each others strengths, focus on the majors, and instead of parting ways over the petty, we would become a power house for Jesus that takes this county and region by storm.

Because at the end of the day, Jesus wants a united church. A church where there is no division, no quarreling, and no bickering. A church that values each others differences and then works together to reach this world for Jesus. That’s the best case scenario and what we should strive for.

MCF, let’s be that church!

Let’s Pray