A Mother's Teaching

Bookmarks & Needs:

Bookmark: Proverbs 6:20-23

Housekeeping Stuff & Announcements:

Welcome everyone to the family gathering.

While we may not be together in a building, we are united in spirit in Christ and in our focus on His as we worship this morning. I’ve said this each week we’ve been streaming: let’s participate together in worship this morning, regardless of where we are. If you can, when I ask us to stand, please do so. If you would sing out or clap your hands during the time of praise and worship through song, do that. As we pray, pray together with me. When we study the Word, make sure you get your Bible out and join in.

We do have this morning’s service all set up on YouVersion, so you should be able to see it if you get on YouVersion and look for our Live Event.

I’m thankful for this time and for the technology that makes it so that so many of us can be online at the same time, together while we’re apart, sharing in our praise and study of the Word with one another, and I’m very thankful to all who are joining us who have never been here physically. If that’s you, we want to be able to communicate with you. We’ve set up a keyword that you can text if you are visiting with Eastern Hills online. SCREEN You can text the word “LIVE” to 505-339-2004, and then it will ask you to click a link just to provide us with your name and email address. We want to be able to pray for you, follow up with you if you have any questions, and keep you apprised about things as we look forward into the coming weeks and months. Text LIVE to 505-339-2004. If you are planning on connecting with Eastern Hills in person once this crisis is past, you can text the keyword WELCOME to that same number to be in our local visitor contact group.

We would be honored to be able to lift up your prayer requests as well. We keep a church prayer list that we call our PrayerLine, and you can get a copy of the PrayerLine in PDF format from our website. Just go to ehbc.org, visit the Family Life section, and go to the Prayer link. If you have prayer requests to add to the PrayerLine, you can email those to Rebecca or Shanna at [e-mail].

GRAD SUNDAY DRIVE-IN 5/31 at 9 am, bring or mail cards from now to then. Unfortunately, I don’t think you can give to the grads online. There is a list of this year’s grads on our Announcements page and on the Student Ministry page, so you can know who is graduating this year.

Today, we will receive our one-day-only Mother’s Day offering to support the NM Baptist Children’s Home in Portales. SLIDE The NM Baptist Children’s Home is such an important ministry for children and families who need help and care. We only take this offering up for Mother’s Day, and our goal is $3,800. I have something to share with you regarding the Children’s Home. SWIPE FOR NOTES! Pray and ask the Lord to prepare your heart to give today.

Use online giving. Go to our website, and right there on the front page is a button linking to our online giving page. It’s even mobile-friendly. You just choose the fund you want to give to (Church budget or something specific, like Children’s Home), and walk through the steps.

PRAY

MUSIC:

Great Things (E)

The Lord Our God (G)

Build My Life (E)

PRAY

Children’s Ministry Video

Acknowledgment

For several years now, I have opened my Mother’s Day message with an acknowledgment for those who struggle with Mother’s Day. This year is not going to be any different.

Mother’s Day can be a very difficult day for many. For those of you for whom this is the case, let me just start by thanking you for braving this today. You have had every opportunity, given the fact that we’re only meeting online right now, to not come. To listen to or watch a past message. To just stay in your jammies and have a cup of tea. But some of you are here right now online, watching and desiring to worship with the body of Christ and to hear from the Word of God, and my hope and intent is to make good use of your commitment and dedication this morning.

To you ladies who want children, but for some reason cannot have them, my heart goes out to you. I know that a Mother’s Day service can be especially hard, and perhaps already has been, with the video from the Children’s Ministry. Please know that you are loved, and we don’t take you for granted or downplay or ignore your very real pain.

This day can also be difficult for those who have lost their children tragically. You are moms. You’re moms who cannot mother your child right now. I am so sorry for your loss. You also are loved and cared for by this body, and we mourn with you this day.

Finally, this day can be frustrating for those who have no desire to have children. This is a very real thing, and you may struggle just being here this morning with so much focus on children and motherhood, which is just not something you’re concerned with, at least not at the moment. I get that it may not feel particularly useful for you. Thank you for being here anyway.

And for those who have lost their moms, especially in the past year: we mourn with you as well.

I can’t understand what these women are going through, and I want to be sensitive to and respectful of that struggle, and just not mentioning it isn’t right. So, Lord willing, it is my intent to open every Mother’s Day message with this kind of acknowledgment, and I pray that this message is useful to all who are here with us today, not just moms.

Opening

This morning, I’ve entitled my message “A Mother’s Teaching.” This is a bit of a misnomer in a couple of ways, which I will explain as we get into the message after reading our focal passage. Let’s open our Bibles to Proverbs 6, and stand together as we read verses 20-23:

Proverbs 6:20–23 CSB

20 My son, keep your father’s command, and don’t reject your mother’s teaching. 21 Always bind them to your heart; tie them around your neck. 22 When you walk here and there, they will guide you; when you lie down, they will watch over you; when you wake up, they will talk to you. 23 For a command is a lamp, teaching is a light, and corrective discipline is the way to life.

Pray

If we were all together here in this room, I would ask for a show of hands right now for who can affirmatively answer this question: How many of us have had to really take some serious time during the last 7 weeks and help in the teaching of our kids at home? We have had to. Not that we haven’t helped with homework throughout the school year, but because of the stay-at-home order and the moving of Abbie’s education to a remote learning model, Melanie and I are having to take an even more active role in Abbie’s schooling.

We’re helping with math. We’re printing papers and going over instructions. We’re helping her stay on task. We’re helping her navigate Google Classroom and setting reminders for Zoom meetings. We’re watching science videos (Thanks, Kerry…they’re super cool) and talking about them. It’s a whole different ballgame right now for school. And while I’m on the subject, I have to say that our Academy board, administration, and teaching staff have done an incredible job pivoting and revamping in order to finish the school year strong. If you get the chance, thank them… you might even do so right now in the comments on Facebook.

My eldest daughter Maggie is an adult and married, and I don’t have as active a role in teaching her as I once did. But up until she got married, I still was engaged in school decisions and car decisions and so many others. Abbie is 11, and we’re navigating media intake and recreation time and new social pressures of middle school. As a parent, I can say that some of the most frustrating times in parenting life have been when one of my girls just simply didn’t listen to my teaching. I’m not going to throw either of my daughters under the bus here with some specific example. But parents: isn’t it at least a little frustrating when you give your child godly advice or good information, and they just don’t take it?

This is because we know that what we are attempting to do is take the wisdom that we have gathered over the years and share it with our children so that they will have an easier or better or smoother time than we did. I like to refer to this as learning lessons in the classroom. Melanie and I are the teachers, and we’ve learned things through experience, through study of the Word of God, through good advice and counsel that we have received from others, and now we would like our daughters (more Abbie now) to learn these more difficult or painful lessons from us, so that they can avoid some of the pitfalls that exist out there… which would be learning those difficult lessons on a field trip.

Our focal passage today is short, but these four short verses form a great outline for mothers, for fathers, and for children to consider as we strive to live a godly life. Now, I said that I had two caveats about my title, “A Mother’s Teaching.” The first is that this passage obviously isn’t just about a mother’s teaching. It’s about a father’s as well. Actually, you could take the principles here and apply them to any godly teaching, which brings us to our second caveat: that this applies to teaching that is based in wisdom, not folly. Note that we are in the book of Proverbs, which doesn’t make this passage a promise, but is describing how things normally work, and how to most likely have a particular outcome. It’s not a hard and fast rule. And Proverbs isn’t speaking to every type of instruction or teaching: The point here is wisdom: How to live a life that honors God.

Our outline is going to have three main points: WHAT, HOW, and WHY.

1) WHAT to do? Obey.

Verse 20 opens our focal passage with an instruction for Solomon’s son (we can apply the principle to sons and daughters both):

Proverbs 6:20 CSB

20 My son, keep your father’s command, and don’t reject your mother’s teaching.

In a format known as poetic parallelism, the same thing is stated in two different ways, but both mean essentially the same thing. One references the father, the other references the mother. One is stated positively: KEEP your father’s command, the other negatively: DON’T REJECT your mother’s teaching.

This verse comes down to one word: Obey. This is what it means to KEEP a command: to obey it. It is also what it means to NOT REJECT a teaching: it is to learn and apply it. Solomon is telling his son that it is important that he be obedient to the things that his parents command and teach him. Scripture bears this out over and over.

Ephesians 6:1 CSB

1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, because this is right.

Colossians 3:20 CSB

20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

It even is a part of the fifth Commandment in the Ten Commandments:

Exodus 20:12 CSB

12 Honor your father and your mother so that you may have a long life in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.

Part of honoring our father and our mother is to give heed to the things that they tell us, because generally they are attempting to impart some wisdom to us about how to live a life that honors God so that we can live life to the fullest godly extent.

When I was in student ministry, whenever I would teach students that they should obey their parents, I always got the extreme exception argument: “What if my mom or dad tell me to rob a store at gunpoint? Should I obey them then?” I wonder if some of you students watching had already thought something similar. Your average parent will do nothing of the sort, so you’re just looking for a loophole. So my answer was always, “Well, have they? How about this: when your parent tells you to rob a store or commit some other felony, give me a call.” I was never called for that reason.

Again, this goes back to our second caveat that I mentioned earlier: Solomon here is giving advice about wisdom and folly. It certainly would be folly to rob a store at gunpoint. So kids, students watching out there. Obey your parents. Listen to their instructions and follow them. Parents are like, “Yes! Preach it! Amen!”

But this verse also implies a responsibility for us parents, doesn’t it? If this is regarding wisdom: how to live a life that honors God, then it implies that we, parents, must have some wisdom to impart—that we have some idea of how to live a life that honors God. I’m not saying that we have to be perfect, parents, but we will find it extremely difficult to lead our children where we ourselves are not going. In many ways, a God-honoring lifestyle is more caught than taught. We need to put ourselves in the position of the son here, and obey the commands and teachings of God if we are going to give godly commands and instructions to our children.

2) HOW to do this? Apply.

Proverbs 6:21 CSB

21 Always bind them to your heart; tie them around your neck.

In what is great imagery, Solomon tells his son to apply these commands and teachings to his life in a very personal, very intimate way. First, he tells his son to “bind” them to his heart. In the Hebrew way of thinking, the “heart” isn’t just the organ that pumps our blood. Instead, it is the center of a person: where his desires, his actions, his intentions, his affections, his will all come from. We still think and talk this way, especially in music. How many songs can you think of that refer to your heart as where your desires reside, or where your love flows from? Since this is the case, he’s saying that we are to bind—to fasten or unite the godly commands and teachings of our mentors to our hearts—that our wills would be lashed to these things. This is an internal application. Moses said something similar regarding the commands of God in the Shema in Deuteronomy 6:

Deuteronomy 6:6 CSB

6 These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart.

Solomon also told his son to “tie them around [his] neck.” The picture here is one of putting something on, something that is going to be external in application. It’s like a necklace or a chain that everyone, including you, can see. The Shema also had some language that is similar about the commands of the Lord:

Deuteronomy 6:8–9 CSB

8 Bind them as a sign on your hand and let them be a symbol on your forehead. 9 Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your city gates.

It’s one thing to hear a command or a teaching, and something altogether different to apply it. To apply it is to personalize it to your life—that since you have heard this command, or understood this teaching, that command or teaching will now be a part of how you think, a part of the choices that you make that people can see, so a part of how you live.

Children and students—the godly commands and instructions that your parents’ give to you are things you should apply to your lives. They should become a part of who you are internally, and part of what drives the choices that you make externally.

Again, parents, this instruction from Solomon implies something for us. Are we applying the word of God to our own lives? Is my heart bound to the commands and instructions of God—have I internalized God’s Word? Do the choices that I make show that I have tied the commands of God around my neck—have I applied them to how I live, and the choices that I make? What is our life screaming to our children, moms and dads? What are we telling them is most important, maybe not with our words, but with our choices? Ask yourself this question: “If my children grow up to be exactly like me in their relationship with God, will I see that as a blessing, or as a curse?”

But before finish this point, we must consider whether or not we are even in a right relationship with God. Without that, we don’t have the Spirit of God, and if we don’t have the Spirit of God, we do not belong to Christ according to Romans 8. If that’s the case, we’re still in the flesh, and we have no real ability in ourselves to apply this godly teaching to our lives in any meaningful way, because the Gospel is foolishness to us (1 Cor. 1:18). Understand that God wants to be in a relationship with you and to work in your life, but we have sinned and separated ourselves from Him. Rather than just giving us the punishment we deserve, He sent His Son, Jesus, to live a life without sin in our place, so that He could take our place in the punishment that we actually should receive. He died for your sins and mine. And then He beat death because He is God Himself, and will never die again. We are in a right relationship with God only through trusting in Jesus for our salvation, and not ourselves, because He took our sins on Himself. Then we are not only forgiven, but promised eternal life just like Jesus has, if we belong to Him by faith. Surrender your life to Christ right now where you are, because you cannot fix this yourself. Only Jesus can.

3) WHY do this? Blessing.

Verses 22 and 23 really go together in our outline, because together they speak to the results that normally should flow from listening to and applying godly instruction in our lives.

Proverbs 6:22–23 CSB

22 When you walk here and there, they will guide you; when you lie down, they will watch over you; when you wake up, they will talk to you. 23 For a command is a lamp, teaching is a light, and corrective discipline is the way to life.

Notice again the connection to the Shema in Deuteronomy 6:

Deuteronomy 6:7 CSB

7 Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

Do we see the parallels? Parents: repeat the commands and instructions of God to your children, and do so OFTEN: Talk about God as a part of normal conversation in your home. Talk about these commands when you sit and when you walk, when you lie down and when you get up.

So in verses 22 and 23, we have three pictures of these blessings that we would normally see from this obedience and application of godly instruction:

A) As you walk here and there, godly commands are a guide (22) and a lamp (23).

This is about how we go about our everyday lives… that’s what it means when it says, “When you walk here and there...” It’s the day-to-day, the in-and-out of life, even if we’re under a public health order to stay home as much as possible and to not actually “walk” a whole lot of places.

Godly commands that we receive from our parents or our mentors in the faith, and the commands of God that we find in His Word aren’t just for Sundays. They aren’t just for us to find in our quiet times and then leave there. They are to be heard, obeyed, and applied as we go through our lives. The normal result of doing this is that God’s commands are a guide to show us what our path is, and a lamp to follow as we walk in the darkness of this world.

Psalm 119:105 CSB

105 Your word is a lamp for my feet and a light on my path.

I can say that there have been more times than I can count when I have received godly instruction and counsel from those whom I respect in their walks with the Lord and their understanding of Scripture. And when I have taken that counsel and instruction, there is virtually always greater clarity in direction, greater understanding in the application of God’s Word, and as a result, the blessing of peace in my life and walk. Do you have those in your life whom you trust to point you toward God in the day-to-day? Are you pointing others in that direction yourself? Parents: are you pointing your children toward God in the everyday moments of life, as you walk here and there?

B) As you lie down, godly teaching is a guard (22), and a light (23).

One of the top three fears of children is: you guessed it. Fear the dark. When I was a child, i was afraid of the dark. But guess what? I read an article recently that said that 11% of adults are afraid of the dark… more people are afraid of the dark than are afraid of heights. When we’re in the dark, we feel vulnerable, because we can’t see what’s out there. While as adults we can rationalize that what’s in the dark is the same as what’s in the light, our imaginations can still run away with us. And when are we most likely to be in the dark? When we lie down to sleep.

This is why this result of our listening to, obeying, and regularly applying godly commands and instruction is such a blessing—because it is normally a guard and a light in the times when we’re spiritually or morally vulnerable. Godly teaching acts as a guard because we become wise by it, and then through the presence and work of the Holy Spirit, God will convict us what is right, and provide us a way out. Godly teaching is a light because it shows us the difference between falsehood and truth, between right and wrong, between good and evil. Notice what David wrote about the work of God with respect to darkness and vulnerability:

Psalm 18:28–36 CSB

28 Lord, you light my lamp; my God illuminates my darkness. 29 With you I can attack a barricade, and with my God I can leap over a wall. 30 God—his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is pure. He is a shield to all who take refuge in him. 31 For who is God besides the Lord? And who is a rock? Only our God. 32 God—he clothes me with strength and makes my way perfect. 33 He makes my feet like the feet of a deer and sets me securely on the heights. 34 He trains my hands for war; my arms can bend a bow of bronze. 35 You have given me the shield of your salvation; your right hand upholds me, and your humility exalts me. 36 You make a spacious place beneath me for my steps, and my ankles do not give way.

Parents, it is our role to provide godly teaching to our children, because in this we set them up for the blessing that comes from having the Word of God implanted and applied to their lives, so that the Word will be readily accessible to them, even when their Bible isn’t. Children and students: Having the Word of God be a guard and a light for you is SUCH a blessing for your life. Listen to the godly teaching of your parents, and of those in your life who are godly mentors. Don’t have someone that fills that role in your life? Talk to Pastor Joe, children, or Pastor Trevor, students. I’m certain that they would love to connect you with a mature, believing adult who can give you godly instruction. It’s a blessing.

C) As you wake up, godly discipline is a friend (22), and the way to life (23).

Finally, we see this last pairing: as we “wake up,” then godly discipline is like a friend who talks to us, and the way to life. The interesting thing about this word “wake up” in the Hebrew is that it also includes the idea of being separated, or torn away from something… in this case, sleep. But I see here the importance of discipline when we have separated ourselves from wisdom. When we go our own direction, we need the reminder of the godly commands and instruction that we have received from those in our lives who have given those. And then, as that teaching convicts us and disciplines us, we find the blessing of the fact that godly discipline acts as a friend, talking to us in our error, and that it is the way to life, because it will protect us from continuing down a wrong path.

Notice what the writer of Hebrews said:

Hebrews 12:5–13 CSB

5 And you have forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons: My son, do not take the Lord’s discipline lightly or lose heart when you are reproved by him, 6 for the Lord disciplines the one he loves and punishes every son he receives. 7 Endure suffering as discipline: God is dealing with you as sons. For what son is there that a father does not discipline? 8 But if you are without discipline—which all receive—then you are illegitimate children and not sons. 9 Furthermore, we had human fathers discipline us, and we respected them. Shouldn’t we submit even more to the Father of spirits and live? 10 For they disciplined us for a short time based on what seemed good to them, but he does it for our benefit, so that we can share his holiness. 11 No discipline seems enjoyable at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. 12 Therefore, strengthen your tired hands and weakened knees, 13 and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be dislocated but healed instead.

The terms discipline and disciple have the same root. God sometimes will need to discipline us for our good when we begin to separate ourselves from His wisdom and guidance, which He has faithfully provided through those He has placed in our lives. God disciplines His children. The writer admits in verse 11 that “No discipline seems enjoyable at the time, but painful.” But he goes on to write, “Later on, however, it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” Godly discipline is itself a blessing.

Parents, we must be faithful in disciplining our children in godly ways, with godly instruction.

Children and students: while this may not seem like much hope for you, the fact is that when we follow godly instruction, we end up getting a reward ourselves:

Proverbs 1:8–9 CSB

8 Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction, and don’t reject your mother’s teaching, 9 for they will be a garland of favor on your head and pendants around your neck.

The garland on the head could be a victor’s laurel wreath… a special head covering of honor. For the pendant, imagine an Olympic gold medal… something of great value that shows your dedication, your wisdom, your skill, and your discipline. These are blessings that normally come from obeying the godly instruction of your parents. This is the kind of lesson you want to learn on a field trip: by going out and doing those things that impart blessing both to you and to those who are mentoring you.

Closing

Want to give mom a great gift this Mother’s Day (and a great gift for your father on Father’s Day)? Listen to 23:15-16, 22-25

Proverbs 23:15–16 CSB

15 My son, if your heart is wise, my heart will indeed rejoice. 16 My innermost being will celebrate when your lips say what is right.

Proverbs 23:22–25 CSB

22 Listen to your father who gave you life, and don’t despise your mother when she is old. 23 Buy—and do not sell—truth, wisdom, instruction, and understanding. 24 The father of a righteous son will rejoice greatly, and one who fathers a wise son will delight in him. 25 Let your father and mother have joy, and let her who gave birth to you rejoice.

Be a blessing both to your earthly parents and to your heavenly Father. Parents, take this responsibility to provide godly commands and instruction to your children seriously. And watch for blessing as you apply God’s commands to your life.

If you are someone who has realized today that you are not in a right relationship with God through faith in Christ, you can surrender to Him right now, wherever you are—trusting in Him alone for your salvation, declaring Him to be Lord of your life. If this is you, we would love to celebrate this fact with you: send us an email, or even share it in the comments if you’re on a social platform this morning.

PRAY

Reflection: How Deep the Father’s Love for Us (D-E)

Word of thanks: Those who have served in other “essential” businesses: auto repair, hardware stores, construction and maintenance services… the list is too long to do, but you know who you are.

Closing: The Lord Our God (Reprise in G)