The Principles Of True Motherhood

INTRODUCTION

In 1 Kings chapter 3 we have a scene. Actually, it’s a court scene. Solomon is Israel’s king and his ability to administer justice (judgment) was put to the test early in his reign. The king, however, would prove to be up to the task and a man of great wisdom (see 1Kings 3:28).

But this story is not just about the wisdom of Solomon. Hidden within the text is a revelation of genuine motherhood. We might say that what we have here is a case study into what it means to be a real mother!

There’s a common fallacy that bearing children is the same as raising them. A woman may give birth to a child, but it takes a true mother to raise a child. We often say this about fatherhood, but it’s time that we start applying this same criteria to motherhood.

Again, in this story Solomon was able to discern true motherhood, not simply because he was the king (a judge), but because he was a man endowed with the wisdom of God. So, whatever principles we learn from this story understand that they represent God’s wisdom on genuine motherhood.

Motherhood Disputed

1Kings 3:16-22

What we have here is a dispute between two women over who the true mother is to this child. Furthermore, these two women apparently bore children within days of each other. It doesn’t seem like there was a father in the picture in either case because the Scriptures say, “…there was no one with them in the house, save the two of them” (1Kings 3:18). Therefore, we can suspect that both women had their children out of wedlock. They were also both prostitutes, which explains why they were living together. (The social status of prostitutes was low in that day.)

One thing we know for a fact already is: You don’t have to be a PERFECT mother to be a GOOD mother. We know this because the participants in our case study are both imperfect people (i.e. prostitutes). Both women gave birth to children in less than perfect conditions. Yet, one of these women will be proven to be a GOOD (genuine) mother!

Some find it hard to celebrate mothers on this day who entered motherhood in less than desirable situations. There are also mothers who find it difficult to be celebrated for those same reasons. However, this story teaches us that motherhood is not reserved for perfect women. We know that because the woman who is held up as the model mother was a social outcast, a woman of scandal!

Why were these women before the king? 1Kings 3:18-22

Therefore, we have two women, but only one living child. It seems that the dispute is over who is the true mother of this child?

One woman (we’ll call her the pretend mother) feels that the living child is hers by reason of the fact that when they arose in the morning the living child was in her bosom (on her breast).

Pretend mothers feel that genuine motherhood is determined (fulfilled) by public displays of affection. The Bible says that the pretend mother “laid the child in your bosom” (1Kings 3:20). This represents an open show of affection. You place someone you love in your bosom. However, open acts of affection are not always synonymous with genuine love or concern (Proverbs 27:6).

Taking your child into your arms and showing them affection isn’t a substitute for personal sacrifice (John 15:13). Neither is simply ‘telling’ your child that you love them (1John 3:18). You can’t just tell your children you love them. You’ve got to prove it!

Motherhood Tested

Solomon decides to put each of these women’s motherhood to the test. To do this he calls for a sword (1Kings 3:23, 24). Today if we wanted to determine the birth mother a judge would call for a DNA test. However, this would only tell us who gave birth to the child. But, it might not tell us who the true mother was.

Solomon didn’t have access to this kind of testing. Truth be told, he didn’t need it because the test he would employ was far better at testing genuine motherhood. Now, his test may have, at first glance, appeared extreme to some, but it would prove to be effective at getting down to the root of what makes a true mother.

Sometimes God will use swords (crisis, trouble) to reveal true motherhood, fatherhood and even sainthood. People pretend to be mothers all the time. However, in times of crisis (swords) the true nature of motherhood is revealed (John 10:11-13). Pretend shepherds, like pretend mothers, flee (try to save themselves) when there’s a crisis. If a person is putting their life (interests) before yours, they are not a true shepherd (mother). I don’t know what the interests of the pretend mother was, but they definitely were not towards the child.

Motherhood Revealed

1Kings 3:25-27

When Solomon commanded that the child be divided and a portion be given to each mother, the pretend mother was satisfied and said, “Divide it.”

Pretend mothers are satisfied with the prospect of receiving something from their children. In fact, they feel that motherhood ENTITLES them (gives them the right) to receive something from their children (2Corinthians 12:14).

This is because pretend mothers care only about themselves, or they care more about themselves than they do for their children. They’re always asking, “What’s that got to do with me?”

Finally, pretend mothers are competitive. If they can’t win, nobody wins (1Kings 3:26b).

But, just like swords reveal what is false, they also reveal what is true and genuine (1Kings 3:26a). The real mother would rather lose her right to the child, than to see the child lose its life.

Real mothers choose to lose if it means their child or their children wins! I’ll be less if it means my child gets to be greater. Too many modern mothers seem to be in competition with their children, trying to win at the expense of their children. This woman would rather lose her child to her rival (enemy), if it meant saving his life. (Similarly, God would rather turn us/our bodies over to the enemy rather than have us lose our life.)

The king’s actions seemed extreme until the matter was finally settled. Similarly, God’s actions (judgements) seem extreme or severe until time shows their wisdom! Solomon understood that there’s one indispensible truth when it comes to genuine motherhood and that’s maternal affection and sacrifice. Real mothers have a natural affection and tenderness for their children. Also, they will sacrifice anything when it comes to their child. Therefore, the best way to test motherhood (really any ‘hood’ or position responsible for providing oversight/covering, like fatherhood or servanthood) is to test their sacrifice. How many mothers are giving their child up to keep from having to make the sacrifice.