God's Gift: A Mother's Day Calling
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Notes
Transcript
Intro
Intro
The Right Gift
Finding the right gift
Walmart - Plate set
God’s gift
I know that we men are notorious for considering ourselves God’s gift to women.
We oft forget that it was Eve who was a gift for Adam.
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”
Mother’s Day
Since it’s Mother’s Day, I want to take time to talk to Husbands.
Being the right gift
The First Woman was a gift
God made you to be a blessing to others
Guess what, you are God’s gift.
God made you to be a blessing for your wife
God made you to be a blessing to your mother
Not all have a wife, but all have a mother.
Maybe they are not with us.
I. Be a gift who puts his wife first (v25)
I. Be a gift who puts his wife first (v25)
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,
Men, love your wives selflessly.
Take a bullet
Would you take a bullet for their wives.
Would take a shopping trip or your wife?
Would you take an insult?
Would you take responsibility for your behavior for your wife?
Would you take out the trash?
It’s easier to take a bullet than it is to admit I’m wrong.
It can become easy to justify to ourselves when we neglect the little things, that if the big things came, we’d take care of it.
If I love like Christ, my love will be sufficient for the little things and the big things, not one or the other.
What are my wife’s needs?
Do I prioritize them or trivialize them.
Selfishness, the enemy of a marriage
The world says
if I look out for my needs and you look out for yours, our needs get met.
Take care of number one.
God says
Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;
do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.
You say: If I don’t look out for my needs, no one else will.
God says, if you look out for the needs of others, I the Lord, will look out for your needs.
Jesus Put the Church first, before even his own life.
who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped,
but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men.
Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
He put our needs before His esteem, praise, power, and even His own life.
Jesus love s in the little things and in the big things.
What comes before
Many will point to what comes before
Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.
But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.
When Christ died for you, were you keeping up your end of the bargain?
But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
God made the first move, deciding to love you first before you would ever love Him
This is the way. Love FIRST
I cry first - Bill Cosby
First to cry
First to lock themselves in the bathroom
First to call their mother.
Be the first to love, even when it’s not reciprocated.
How He Loves
When this song came out, churches weren’t sure about it because it mentions “sloppy wet kiss”. Changed to unforeseen kiss.
The point: David Crowder and John McMillan
Written as a personal worship song. Included names in the songwriter’s life. Not meant to be a corporate song, but a private worship song.
David Crowder asked the author if he could change the lyrics so the church could sing it together.
How God loves us should be an amazing revelation.
We are only human
Yes, we aren’t God. But He promises to shows us how to love and help us to love.
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.
We love, because He first loved us.
How can we know how to love our wives until we understand God’s love? If you want to get good at something, you look at others who are good at it.
When I want to learn a lick or phrase on an instrument I listen to and watch pros. I don’t look to myself, I can’t do it. I look to those who are.
Look to God if you want to understand how to love.
Look to God to facilitate and empower you to love.
Men, be the first to love. Make the first move.
Draw near to God, asking, seeking, knocking so you can be fed, filled, informed, and enabled by His love for you and for your wife.
See how He loves. Demonstrate it. If you don’t know how He loves, read it.
II. Be a gift who puts God’s word first (v26)
II. Be a gift who puts God’s word first (v26)
so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,
Men, love the word of God in your home.
Scripture is clear
“Hear, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord is one!
“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.
“These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart.
“You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.
“You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead.
“You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
Love—We are to share Gods word because we love Him.
Repeatedly—The word diligently in your bible means repeatedly, over and over without fail. These verses indicate teaching is not a once-in-a-while or a one-time effort. It goes on all the time. The secret to learning is repetition.
Naturally—it is to be done when we sit, walk, lie down, and rise up. In other words, we are to look for teaching opportunities by word and by example through the everyday activities of life in the home. Also, compare verses 20 and following for the practical outworking of these things through the natural curiosity of children. The home is the natural God-given place to communicate and display the Word of God. It’s the place “where life makes up its mind.”
Personally—(cf. 4:9). What our children learn in Sunday school and church is important, but we can’t rely on this alone. This passage is speaking to parents, not the church. Training is first and foremost the responsibility of the parents (cf. Eph. 6:4 addressed to fathers). Again,
As much as we miss the fellowship and getting together, the teaching of the word is not meant to only happen in the church and it’s not meant to only happen through the pastor. Men, we are responsible to teach the word in our homes at all times, with our families.
Does this mean that we are the most capable teacher? NO
The word doesn’t say
Teach the word, but only if you’re really good at it.
Teach the word, but if you wife knows it better, relegate the spiritual upbringing of your children to her.
Our position of leadership in teaching the word in this is not an arrogance, but a serious responsibility.
We are told teachers have a greater judgment, and we do.
We are also told that God has called some to be teachers.
IN the same way, while some were called to evangelism, there still exists a personal responsibility for all Christians to evangelize. Just as he called and equipped some to teach, we men all have the responsibility of teaching the word of God in our homes.
The gift of the word
Men, did you get your wife or your mothers flowers today?
I bought my wife dishes with flower patterns, so that counts.
Flowers fade and die. God’s word doesn’t
Jesus compares flowers to people and clothing.
“And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin,
yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these.
“But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith!
Showing God’s love and care for you and me.
As much as she may love flowers, she is worth more than all the flowers that will ever be on this earth.
Since she is precious with an immortal soul, provide her with a gift of equal endurance, the word of God.
Are you encouraging your wife in the scriptures?
Christ loved His bride and purified her.
Christ sanctified and purified the church with his blood.
Husbands purify their wives with the word.
Men unfortunately are not known for seeking the purity of women. We are known for seeking debauchery for the sake of our own pleasure.
Men, love your wives’ purity.
III. Be a gift who loves her first (vv28-33)
III. Be a gift who loves her first (vv28-33)
So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself;
for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church,
because we are members of His body.
For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.
This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.
Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.
Men, love her greatly.
Christ’s body is the church
We are called the body of Christ. Why? Yes, we serve different functions like parts of a body.
We are also the bride of Christ.
Adam and Eve united, leave and cleave, considered one unit.
The two shall become one flesh.
For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.
Woman was from man. We are different, but share the same essence.
Marriage and the family is meant to resemble GOd to the world. The differences between men and women, the good things, are meant to represent God to the world. But one without the other is an incomplete picture.
God hates divorce.
“For I hate divorce,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “and him who covers his garment with wrong,” says the Lord of hosts. “So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.”
He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way.
We know that there are circumstances that most of us would allow divorce. Violent abuse, sexual infidelity. God allows it not because divorce is good, but because we are bad.
God hates divorce, I think, not only for the apparent destruction it brings relationships, families, and hearts, but because his model of himself, the family, is destroyed.
God made them in His image.
God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.
Their unity in diversity made us like Him. We become one flesh, a special unity that is present in creation, I believe, meant to reflect God’s very own nature.
3 distinct persons (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit), yet all having the same divine essence being called God, Lord, YAHWEH, in the scriptures. Think of the unity between the Father, Son, and Spirit. Nothing closer than this.
Jesus attested to this unity
“I and the Father are one.”
The Jews picked up stones again to stone Him.
God made man and woman to model this image in marriage and all of its facets.
Divorce tears apart what God has brought together. Can you imagine ripping the Trinity apart.
The closest we can imagine is when the Father and Son tasted separation in the cross.
About the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?” that is, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?”
Not merely a quote of Psalm 22, but perhaps a taste of separation of Father and Son, in some way, as Jesus bore your sin and mine.
Understand, that divorce is a picture of this separation. Two that were together closer than any other are torn apart by sin.
Christ and His body, his bride, considered one unit.
Husbands, love your wives as if they were your very own flesh.
Because of Christ’s work on the cross, that same unity is meant to be reflected in our marriages.
“I do not ask on behalf of these alone, but for those also who believe in Me through their word;
that they may all be one; even as You, Father, are in Me and I in You, that they also may be in Us, so that the world may believe that You sent Me.
With this in mind.
The unity of the Father and Son is reflected in our marriages.
The unity of Christ and His church is reflected in our marriages.
Our wives are then to be close to us, even as we consider our own flesh and are for it.
Love your wife like this.
IV. Be a gift to her children (Eph 6:4)
IV. Be a gift to her children (Eph 6:4)
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart.
Men, love the children under you.
Fathers, we can bless our wives by loving our children.
First priority, we actually covered, instructing your children the word of God.
Here in Ephesians it mentions two other things
Don’t provoke them to anger, Bring them up, Discipline Your Children
Without Provocation
Father’s we know what it’s like to watch children grow up without discipline.
We read horror stories in the bible about sons like Absolom who David neglected and cost him his kingdom for a time. Eli’s sons who did horrible things to God’s worship in the tabernacle, even theft and sexual immorality.
But here, we are exhorted not to provoke our children.
Does this mean that we do not engage in discipline? Absolutely not.
Do you know what maybe my worst sin is? Anger. I get very mad very quickly. I used to think I had it under control, an act of will.
You know what happens? Even when I think I’m in control, but body shows me that my mind is lying.
Blood pressure
Heart rate
Short temper
While I think I’m okay, I leave evidence of my anger everywhere.
Tree full of pollen (wind gust comes and carries away a cloud of pollen). Tree doesn’t see it, but others do.
The Bible Exposition Commentary Chapter Twelve: Living the Lordship of Christ (Ephesians 6:1–9)
In Paul’s day, the father had supreme authority over the family. When a baby was born into a Roman family, for example, it was brought out and laid before the father. If he picked it up, it meant he was accepting it into the home. But if he did not pick it up, it meant the child was rejected. It could be sold, given away, or even killed by exposure.
The Bible Exposition Commentary Chapter Twelve: Living the Lordship of Christ (Ephesians 6:1–9)
Paul told the parents, “Don’t use your authority to abuse the child, but to encourage and build the child.” To the Colossians he wrote, “Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged” (Col. 3:21). So, the opposite of “provoke” is “encourage.”
Bring them up in the discipline
Bring them up = “Raise or nourish”
Same word used in Ephesians 5:29 about how you and I care for our own bodies. We give it what it needs to be healthy and grow. While we feed the body, provide for it, and train it, we do spiritually for our children.
How many of us have relegated the spiritual nourishment of our children to AWANA, Sunday School, or our wives?
The Bible Exposition Commentary Chapter Twelve: Living the Lordship of Christ (Ephesians 6:1–9)
To begin with, we must discipline in love and not in anger, lest we injure either the body or the spirit of the child, or possibly both. If we are not disciplined, we surely cannot discipline others, and “flying off the handle” never made either a better child or a better parent.
Husbands, how many of us have told ourselves that we should let our wives do all of this work?
Let’s be a gift to our wives by taking up this Godly responsibility of leading our children in loving and nurturing discipline, instruction, and care.
V. Be a gift as a child of God. (Eph 5:1-21)
V. Be a gift as a child of God. (Eph 5:1-21)
Men, Love God more than anything.
Be imitators of God
Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children;
Walk in Love
and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.
What does is look like to Imitate God and Walk in Love?
Put away ungodly things
and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.
But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints;
and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks.
For this you know with certainty, that no immoral or impure person or covetous man, who is an idolater, has an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.
Don’t be Deceived
Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience.
Therefore do not be partakers with them;
Walk with Integrity
for you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of Light
(for the fruit of the Light consists in all goodness and righteousness and truth),
Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise,
making the most of your time, because the days are evil.
Seek His pleasure
trying to learn what is pleasing to the Lord.
So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.
Don’t get drunk
And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit,
How are you self medicating? Turn to God not substance
Encourage one another
speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord;
always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father;
and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.
The greatest gift any mother or wife could have is having a son or husband who is near to God.