Hope for the Family

Text: Proverbs 11:29 “He who bring trouble on his family will inherit only wind, and the fool will be servant to the wise.”

Theme: In spite of the pressures bearing down on today’s families, there is hope that the family can face those pressures in the power of Christ and not only survive, but flourish.

This morning being Mother’s Day, I want to use this morning’s message to focus on the fammily. As we think about the family, let me share with you the results of two important sociological studies.

The first was conducted by British social anthropologist John D. Unwin. Unwin studied eighty “uncivilized” cultures and sixteen “civilized” cultures that rose and fell over the course of 4,000 years. He discovered that a common thread ran through all of them. In each instance, the early history of each civilization showed a society that was politically, economically, and religiously conservative; there were strong moral values and a heavy emphasis on family. Each of these civilizations reached a pinnacle of power based on these conventional values. But then something happened. As each society became increasingly liberal in its politics, economy, and religious life, moral values declined. As moral values declined, family life began to disintegrate. As family life disintegrated, society fell into anarchy. The nation became internally weak and in most cases was conquered by another nation. In every single society, Unwin attributed the fall of each of these nations to the disintegration of the family. Unwin wrote that there was a direct tie between monogamy and the "expansive energy" of civilization.

The second study was done by sociologist and historian Carle Zimmerman. In his book Family and Civilization he correlated the breakdown of various cultures with the decline of family life in those cultures. He found eight specific patterns of cultural behavior that characterized the downward spiral of each society he studied. Those characteristics included:

Marriage losing its sacredness; it is frequently broken by divorce.

Traditional meaning of the marriage ceremony is lost — becoming a civil action instead of a covenant relationship

Feminist movements grow in influence.

Increased disrespect for parents and authority in general.

Acceleration of juvenile delinquency, promiscuity, and rebellion.

Refusal of people to accept family responsibilities.

An increase in, and acceptance of adultery.

Increasing interest in and spread of sexual perversions.

What makes these two anthropologists so prophetic is that Unwin wrote his work in 1939, and Zimmerman’s work was published in 1947!

In an increasingly secular, post-Christian society, we have to ask the question, “Is there hope for the America?” That is the penetrating question of this morning’s message. America is changing.

ILLUS. I grew up in what I call a ‘Leave It to Beaver’ home. My dad worked. My mom stayed at home. My brother and I went to school. In 1955 when I was born, that scenario accounted for 65% of American homes. Today, that figure is 5%. America is changing.

Values and attitudes about family are changing. Each day bring an incremental shift in some fundamental aspect of life like ripples in a pond. They may seem small an insignificant, but they spread to eventually affect the entire pond. Some days bring monumental shifts that significantly change the culture overnight such as the legalization of same-sex marriage.

Many new, and sometimes frightening challenges confront the today’s families. If Christian families do not meet these challenges in the power of the Lord, with a strong faith, and with a firm grasp of the Scriptures we face the very real possibility of being overwhelmed by the secularization of an un-godly society.

Let me share with you two basic points this morning. The first consists of three words that describe the modern family. The second point outlines the measures families can take which may help create a climate of hope which will help your family to triumph over the challenges and pressures which come your way.

I. PROBLEMS FACING THE FAMILY

1. each family here this morning has its own unique set of circumstances and problems

2. there are a few problems, however, which I believe are common to all families in our society to some degree or another

3. there are three words which describe what many families are experiencing

a. those three words are . . .

1) besieged

2) decentralized

3) fractured

A. TODAY’S FAMILIES ARE BESIEGED

1. they are besieged economically

a. the American Dream of a large home in the suburbs, two cars in the garage, college tuition for the kids and nest-egg put away for retirement is now a pipe dream for many in our society

b. these past six weeks have reminded us how quickly economic conditions can change

1) at the end of February, 2020 our nation had historically low unemployment, and American’s 401-k retirement plans were fat

2) at the end of April, 2020 unemployment soared to almost 15% — the highest since the great depression

a) twenty million Americans lost their jobs in April alone ... the largest decline in one month since the government began tracking such data in 1939

c. in America today, the two-income family is a reality that is probably here to stay

1) many families find both that both mom and dad working two jobs just to keep heir family afloat economically

d. the financial burden for many families here tonight is staggering

1) the average new home costs $300,000

2) the average new car cost $36,000

3) the average new kid costs $233,600 (born in 2019 and raised to age 17 —excluding college tuition)

2. today’s families are besieged by anti-marriage and anti-family worldview

a. the U.S. marriage rate has now tumbled to an all-time low, plunging 6% in 2018 alone

1) as the country continues to secularize, the importance of marriage and having children continues to be diminished (PEW poll reveals three reasons why)

a) removing the stigma of premarital sex and living together has taken some of the pain out of wedlock

b) many young women are unwilling to commit to men who have less education and career prospects than they do

c) most telling, studies show that a majority of Americans no longer view marriage as intrinsically good for society

ILLUS. That’s astounding considering every statistic you care to evaluate tell us just the opposite—that marriage is good, beneficial and necessary in producing and maintaining a thriving society.

2) Americans have been sold a bill-of-goods about marriage and family that will eventually destroy our nation

b. divorce continues to be one of the greatest threats to families, and yet it is portrayed as “no big deal”

1) divorce rates have steadily increased over the past few decades, and splitting up is more commonplace and acceptable then ever before ... sometimes even applauded

2) regardless of our amicable a divorce might be, they are disruptive and messy, and divorce has a profound effect on both the involved spouses, and their children

3) there’s a reason why God said that a man should leave his mother and father, cleave to his wife and establish his own family

a) this is what makes societies flourish ... diminish it’s importance and neither people nor society will flourish

3. today’s families are besieged by anti-Christian morals

a. the sexual revolution has become an in-your-face-you-must-celebrate-our-perversion juggernaut in our culture, crushing anyone or any institution that will not acquiesce to their demands

1) every year thousands of homosexuals parade in major metropolitan cities in order to call attention to their political agenda and flaunt their immorality as an acceptable alternative lifestyle—doing things that would get you or I arrested were we to do the same

b. even the Church is not immune to the radical demands of the culture

1) homosexuality has become so widely accepted that in 2003, the reverend Gene Robinson became the first openly gay bishop of the Episcopal Church

a) it precipitated what Episcopalians euphemistically called the “the Anglican realignment” — we call it a good ol’ fashioned church split

b) over the last dozen years, various branches of Lutheranism, Methodism, and Anglicanism have all elected openly gay bishops

c) lest you think this is a West-coast/East-coast liberal elite enclave kind of thing, Episcopalians in the Diocese of Missouri elected a man in a same-sex union as bishop in November 2019

2) and yes, even some Baptist Churches have fallen into apostasy in order to be on “the right side of history”

a) in 2017 the historic Calvary Baptist Church, Washington D.C. called two married Lesbians to co-pastor their congregation

4. today's families are besieged by progressivism that wants to indoctrinate our children

a. I believe in education ... education and hard work have always been the great levelers in American society

1) we do not have an aristocracy in America, nor a rigid class structure

a) we do, unfortunately, have an elitist class in our culture, but they are elitists by their own self-determinism ... just ask them

2) America has always been about pulling-yourself-up-by-your-own-bootstraps through hard work and book learn’n

3) for most of our history both were taught and encouraged within the family

b. but there is a growing threat to the family today by those elitist-progressives who think most parents—and especially Christian parents—are just too stupid or too prejudicial to raise their kids right

ILLUS. In the Fall of this year (2020) Harvard University is hosting a symposium of the evils of Home Schooling. Elizabeth Bartholet, a Professor of Law at Harvard Law School recently published an article where she took Home Schooling to task, and in particular Christian Homeschoolers. She laments that fully 90% of homeschoolers are driven by “conservative Christian beliefs”. That’s bad (according to her). She characterizes Christian homeschoolers as, “extreme religious ideologues who question science and promote female subservience and white supremacy.” In Bartholet’s opinion, homeschoolers are parents who want to “avoid exposing their children to secularism, atheism, feminism, and value relativism.” Their values are “inconsistent with America’s values.” (No. They’re inconsistent with her, anti-family, anti-Christian progressive values). She calls for the abolishment of homes schooling and advocates for the removal of parental authority and parental choice from their children’s education.

5. American families are besieged

B. TODAY’S FAMILIES ARE DECENTRALIZED

1. there was a time in the history of our nation when the family was the center of all activity ...

a. educational

b. spiritual

c. economic

d. recreational

2. the family has increasingly moved away from being a primary influence group in our culture, and has moved toward becoming a secondary group in meeting the individual’s needs

a. if the family unit is not the central institution of a society, the society is doomed to fall

b. there is, I believe, a growing over-dependance by today’s families upon other institutions of our society to provide or accomplish what has historically been the providence of the home

3. too many families has abdicated the total education of their children to preschools and public schools

a. while I am a supporter of the public school system (in spite of problems associated with it) parents must be involved in the education of their children

1) that means reading to them

2) that means helping them with their homework

3) that means going to parent/teacher meetings

4) that means enhancing the education of your child by taking them to cultural and educational events and museums

b. parents must be the ones who instill their values, morals and ethics into their children ... hopefully they will be biblical values, morals and ethics

4. too many families have surrendered the spiritual nurturing of their children to the church

a. instead of parents reading the bible to their children . . .

b. instead of parents praying with their children . . .

c. instead of parents taking their children to church . . .

d. they have turned the spiritual upbringing of the child to the church volunteer and the professional clergy

5. lastly, too many families are looking to government for the economic support that should come through hard work and saving

a. some families in America are into their forth generation of being welfare recipients

b. many have lost or forgotten the work ethic practiced by earlier generations that saw a reliance upon self and family

C. TODAY’S FAMILIES ARE FRACTURED

1. fractured is a word that mean to break or to cleave or to shatter

2. many families have lost all sense of togetherness

a. divorce has fractured many of our families

ILLUS. While we still label marriage in America as monogamy more and more Americans have had two or three monogamous relationships.

b. mobility has fractured many families

ILLUS. It is not unusual for parents to have grown children living several different states thousands of miles away. Once teenagers get their drivers licence, watch out!

c. jobs have fractured many families

ILLUS. When we moved to Osage Co. years ago, I was amazed at how many people drove to St. Louis every day to go to work, while the spouse drove to Jefferson City or Columbia. That’s hard on families.

d. abuse, neglect, violence and addictions have fractured many families

3. even in healthy and whole families, the family is going in as many different directions as there are family members

ILLUS. There are mothers here this morning who probably cannot remember when the entire family all sat down at the same time to dinner. Many mothers here probably feel more like taxi cab drivers than mothers.

4. well, what do we do about these challenges facing the family?

II. PRUDENT ACTIONS WHICH PROTECT THE FAMILY

1. look again at our text for the morning

Prov. 11:29 “He who brings trouble on his family will inherit only the wind . . .”

a. the author is reminding his readers of the importance of family

b. if the author is Solomon (and it most likely is) then he knew first hand what happens when the family is neglected

c. King David was a wonderful king, a brave warrior, and a good administrator ... but he was a lousy father

2. because David neglected family, his family never ceased to be without troubles

3. what’s the answer

A. FIRST, BE COMMITTED TO THE BIBLICAL WORLDVIEW OF MARRIAGE & FAMILY

1. family must have priority

a. this must be a non-negotiable

b. God, in his wisdom, has decreed that marriage and family is the basic institution where humans will flourish

2. this sounds simple and seems obvious

a. obviously it is not so simple or we would not see the American family in the situation it is in

3. your family must become the most important institution in your life

ILLUS. Martin Luther, one of the leaders of the Protestant Reformation wrote: “I believe that God has given me house, home, wife and children.”

a. parents, being committed to family may mean working less hours and doing without a few things in order to spend more time with your children

b. it may mean limiting the number of school or extra-curricular activities your children are involved in so that they spend more time at home

4. be committed to the concept of family

B. SECOND, BE COMMITTED TO THE BIBLE AND BIBLICAL VALUES

1. the bible is our source of values and morality

a. they are not taught in the schools or in the public forum

b. they must be taught in the home and in the church

2. many in our society believe that the failure of government to do more to help people is our biggest problem

3. Christians know that most of the problems we label as social or economic are really moral problems that erupted when we began to eradicate God from the public arena

4. be committed to the Bible

a. it is the best marriage manual in the world

b. it is the best child-rearing guide in the world

C. LASTLY, BE COMMITTED TO THE BODY OF CHRIST ie. THE CHURCH

ILLUS. Back in 1992 The National Review published a book entitled The Loss of Virtue: Moral Confusion & Social Disorder in Britain & America.

It is a collection of essays by British scholars who looked at what happens to society when it disregards virtue. One of those essays is a fascinating survey of crime and disorder in Great Britain. The first half of the 19th century in England was a violent time. There were extraordinarily high levels of public drunkenness, theft, murder, rape, prostitution and illegitimacy. By the last half of the 19th century and the early part of the 20th century crime and violence had dropped to remarkably low rates.

What changed an entire country’s national character? It was Sunday School. By 1831 attendance at Sunday Schools in England had grown to 1.2 million (about 25% of all children in England). By 1888, 75% of all the children in England and Wales attended Sunday Schools. Crime and disorder dropped precipitously. When Sunday School attendance began to fall off in the mid-20th century, crime, dishonesty, illegitimacy and disorder once again began to increase. The point? You cannot expect to have a virtuous nation if you don’t have virtuous citizens. Church is the very best place to learn about Christian virtues.

1. be committed to church

There is no quick fix for many of our families that are facing difficulties. It takes time to break a family. It sometimes takes time to fix a family. But if the principles that I’ve laid out are regularly applied, there is hope for the family.