The Christian and Marriage: Living for the Sake of the Gospel

1 Peter 3:1-7 The Christian and Marriage (Living for the Sake of the Gospel) Introduction: For the Christian true freedom is freedom that is used to serve others, and not freedom that is used for self. “For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Peter has told us that we are to submit to every human institution, but we are to do so, not as people who are bound by law but as people who are free. The continual message of the NT is that the Christian life is a life patterned after the life of Jesus Christ, seen mainly in his work of salvation. Jesus Christ became poor that we might become rich, he became sin that we might become the righteousness of God in him, he experienced death so that others might obtain Life. Peter here applies this Christian principle to wives who are married to unbelieving husbands. He tells the Christian wives that, likewise they are to submit to their husbands. Again let’s be clear about what submission is and isn’t. "Wives do not submit in order to satisfy a husband's vanity or to promote his reputation. Neither do they submit to show how godly they are, nor to avoid conflict, nor to impress neighbors, nor to manipulate their husbands, and not even because she thinks she is wise. She submits because of her relationship with and trust in God" -Slaughter “Submission is the divine calling of a wife to honor and affirm her husband’s leadership and help carry it through according to her gifts. It’s the disposition to follow a husband’s authority and an inclination to yield to his leadership.” -Piper 1. Wives of Unbelieving Husbands a. Submit to your unbelieving Husband for the sake of his soul. i. Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. ii. It was the practice of the Greco-Romans for wives to have the same religion as their husbands. Although the law permitted a wife to have her freedom of religion- most scholars agree that when a woman struck out on her own and joined a religion different from her husband’s that could be seen as an act of insubordination. iii. Far from making matters worse, Peter exhorts these Christian women to be especially cautious. “The author expects missionary success from Christian life, lived in the power of the Word and representing it’s reality-with the knowledge that one’s life is a form of proclamation, which can affirm or deny the authenticity of the gospel.”-Wolfgang Schrage 1. This is not an excuse for not sharing the gospel in words, this is being done because the husband or individual is no longer listening... They need the truth of the Gospel LIVED out for them. a. “It's simply impossible to preach the Gospel without words. The Gospel is inherently verbal, and preaching the Gospel is inherently verbal behavior.” -Duane Liftin 2. Peter is exhorting these wives to submit because of the influence they can exert on their non-christian husbands. This is entirely consistent with this agenda at 2:11-12, that Christians live such holy lives that nothing can be said or done against them or the gospel because of their behavior. Any insults they receive must be the result of injustice. 3. It would be wrong for a Christian woman to give the wrong impression of the nature of the gospel to her unbelieving spouse (and vice versa) by acting in a manner inconsistent with their marriage contract...Peter exhorts the wives to be beyond reproach, loving, serving- so much so that their husbands will be won to the faith by their behavior. a. The Christian life when lived out properly is not only a blessing to the christian but is a blessing to those around the Christian. God had said to Abraham that he was going to bless him and make him a blessing to the nations. This should be the testimony of our lives that as we live as Christians those around us are blessed and benefitted by our lives. i. Notice, Peter never refers to their happiness. Happiness is not the goal of a marriage, it is the result of a God centered, God glorifying marriage. You hear couples often say, we divorced because we just weren’t happy... They have missed the purpose of marriage which is to glorify God. When this is the goal of a marriage we find true Joy, not momentary happiness. a. Peter is giving an opportunity for these wives to follow in the example of Christ who was made subject to the Father, went through suffering for the sake of salvation.... b. Adornment that Lasts i. “Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.” 1. Id like to read this verse from the NIV because I think it really captures the heart of what peter is saying. 2. “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” (NIV) a. Peter is not forbidding woman to dress well or to be put together esthetically. His point is that Christian woman (and all Christians for that matter) should be concerned with something much more valuable and lasting - godly character. i. “This is an emphasis on the inner qualities of a believer, not a prohibition against all cultural adornment. External cultural adornment can become a problem if it becomes ultimate and prideful and characterizes an evil heart. How one dresses is a window into the heart” -Bob Utley 1. -Also, these wives are not just wanting their husbands to change their hearts toward them but their hearts toward God. If they are simply dressing to attract their husbands this will not change his heart toward God.. it is the the character of a gentle and quiet spirit that will draw/ attract him towards a relationship with God. ii. I think more than anytime in history we are concerned with adorning our lives outwardly... Pinterest, Facebook, Instagram.. We often use these to show how cool and put together we and our family’s are.... But often times this is just a facade...the kids are being neglected, the bank account is over-drafted, the credit cards are maxed out, you and your spouse far from being put together are miserable. Could it be because we have an infatuation with outward adornment? 3. Peter is concerned that we be people who are concerned with inward beauty, the beauty that doesn’t fade but only grows more beautiful with time and experience. 4. Also, as we focus on the state of our hearts (our inward character) then outward beauty will naturally flow from it. a. Jesus told us - “that out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” Whatever the state of the heart that will come out in our conversation. b. Proverbs 4:23 says, “keep your heart with all vigilance for from it flow the springs of life”. c. Listen to the NIV here, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” i. If we focus on applying the gospel to our hearts, it will change the way we speak, act, and interact with people. We will be living not for what we want to do, but for God and for what brings him glory and blesses others. 1. Where outward adornment might attract husbands to their wives or individuals to yourself, inward adornment will attract others to God and his salvation. c. Submission -Example from Scripture i. “For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.” 1. Sarah owned her role of submission.. She did not submit begrudgingly, even when Abraham was not present and had already screwed up a number of times, Sarah still spoke respectfully to him and of him... She owned her calling, and she did so by trusting in God. a. Rather than fearing the wrath of their husbands or fearing what it might look like to submit, and give over their freedom and their rights they are to do good and not fear anything....what does that mean? 2. Peter is reminding them that as they do good and surrender their rights they are doing it out of reverence to God (this is what he has called them to), and they need not fear the outcome, because God has already showed his love towards them, he has their best interest in mind...they are to remember that they are entrusting themselves to him who judges justly. a. Do Good, and don’t fear, rather, trust God. Conclusion: “The Christian is one who understands this basic truth: That God sent his Son to save us by grace and adopt us into his family, so now because of that grace, in joy and gratitude, we want to resemble our Father, we want the family resemblance, we want to look like our Savior, we want to please our Father. The Principle: We are not to live to please ourselves, we are not to live as though we belong to ourselves. 1. That means that first of all that we are not to determine for ourselves what is right and wrong, we give up the right to determine that, and rely fully on God’s word. 2. We give up the operating principle we use everyday in life, and we stop putting ourselves first and we always put first what pleases God and what loves our neighbor. 3. It also means that we are to have no part of our lives that is immune from this self giving, were supposed to give ourselves wholly to him, body and soul. 4. Lastly it means we trust God through thick and thin, both in life and in death.” - Tim Keller a. Christians are those that whether it is in relation to the state, to an employer, to a husband or a wife, or a neighbor or a friend are living in such a way to glorify God and show the power of the gospel. i. Is this rule guiding and directing your identity and the decisions that you make? ii.