Pre-Marital Counseling Session 3
Notes
Transcript
Key Ideas
Key Ideas
Physical attraction and physical intimacy are a gift from God and a blessing to be enjoyed in marriage.
A healthy biblical sexuality involves physical, emotional, relational and spiritual intimacy. It’s a package that can’t be bifurcated.
A couple’s sex life is the picture/sign of the emotional, relational, and spiritual state of the marital union.
Scripture Study Guide
Scripture Study Guide
Questions: What do you learn physical attraction, physical love and relational intimacy by reading to the dialogue between the lover and the beloved?
If we accept the third view, that Song of Songs is in fact a poem written in celebration of married love, we are invited to look more closely at the biblical view of sex.
It is striking to note first of all that the Bible does not trivialize sex. In other cultures in the area and era of the Bible, little sexual restraint was shown. Graphic language and many specific terms for sex organs and activities fill the religious and secular poetry of nearby pagan lands.
In contrast, the Bible speaks circumspectly about sex. No specific terms are found in the Bible for sex organs. Euphemisms such as “to know” and “to lie down” are used to describe intercourse. While this biblical restraint is notable, it does not suggest a puritan attitude toward sexuality. Instead the sexual nature of human beings is affirmed in the Bible, and the care with which sexual matters are spoken of affirms the mystery of and special nature of the sexual relationship. By restraint the Scriptures guard the mystery and sanctity of intimate experience; an experience that is sacramental in nature and not to be treated as mere animal function, as in ancient paganism and modern-day “adult” publications.
Scripture, of course, forbids sex out of marriage, both adultery and premarital. It also forbids prostitution. A number of passages in the Law, but particularly Leviticus 18, define sexual limits.
Yet when it comes to marriage, the biblical message is one of freedom rather than restriction. No passage in Old or New Testaments regulates sexual practices within marriage. Instead the Bible affirms the joys and values of human sexuality. To question the rightness of sex in marriage, Paul teaches, is to follow “things taught by demons” (1 Tim. 4:1). It’s clear from the Creation story that God is pro sex, for He is the One who created them “male and female” (Gen. 1:27).
The Teacher’s Commentary 52: Song—Celebration of Love
1–2:7 The bride longs for her bridegroom. They meet and praise each other.
2:8–3:11 As their love grows, the bride praises the groom, using figures in nature.
4:1–5:1 The lover comes and praises the bride.
5:2–6:3 The lover has gone away and the bride expresses her longing for him.
6:4–8:14 The lover returns, the marriage is consummated (7:1–8:4), and the happiness of the couple celebrated.
1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. 7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
Questions: How is true beauty expressed in this passage? What is most “precious” or “worthy” to God (v. 4)? Contrast the two kinds of adornment---the first in v. 3 and the other in v. 5? What’s the connection between hope and beauty (“adorn themselves”) and submission (v. 5)?
12 “All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful for me,” but I will not be dominated by anything. 13 “Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food”—and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 14 And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power. 15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! 16 Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.” 17 But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. 18 Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. 19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, 20 for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.
Questions: There are two kinds of union in vs. 15-17. What are these two unions and why are they significant? Why does Paul bring up the “one flesh” principle (1 Cor 6: 16; Gen 2:24) and how does this relate to sex? Who “owns” your body (vs. 19-20)? What implication does this “ownership” have for how you use your body?
1 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. 7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.
Questions: Why should each man have a wife and each wife have a husband (vs. 2-3)? What does Paul mean by “conjugal rights” or “marital duty” (v. 3)? What does Paul mean by a spouse having “authority over” his or her spouse’s body (v. 4)? What implication does that have for your sexual relationship? When can you “deprive each other” of sex, and when can you not (v. 5)?