Forgiveness Is Motivated By Love

Introduction

The love of Christ should consume our lives to the point that we love others how He did.

How did Jesus love others?

He died on the cross to forgive their sin!

No one is excluded from the love of Christ.

There is no one He cannot and will not save.

Jesus forgives everyone.

Chuck Swindoll tells of a seminary student in Chicago who faced a forgiveness test.

Although he wanted to work in some kind of ministry, the only job he could find was driving a bus on Chicago's south side.

One day a gang of tough teens got on board and refused to pay the fare.

After a few days of this, the seminarian spotted a policeman on the corner, stopped the bus, and reported them.

The officer made them pay, but then he got off.

When the bus rounded a corner, the gang robbed the seminarian and beat him severely.

He pressed charges and the gang was rounded up.

They were found guilty.

But as soon as the jail sentence was given, the young Christian saw their spiritual need and felt pity for them.

So he asked the judge if he could serve their sentences for them.

The gang members and the judge were dumbfounded.

"It's because I forgive you," he explained.

His request was denied, but he visited the young men in jail and led several of them to faith in Christ.

What would motivate this kind of behavior?

Love.

These men robbed and beat him yet he forgives them and is willing to take their punishment himself!

This is what the love of Christ looks like.

When we understand the love of Christ it motivates us to show that love to others.

Last week we saw how Paul wrote to Philemon on behalf of his runaway slave Onesimus.

Paul writes this letter with an expectation.

His goal is to get Philemon to forgive and release Onesimus.

We need to keep that goal in mind as we read and study this book.

Paul is doing everything he can to get the result he desires.

Paul is setting Philemon up.

He mentions Philemon’s faith and love toward all the saints in verse 5, and how Philemon encourages all the saints (v. 7).

Now that Onesimus is a brother in Christ Paul expects Philemon to treat him this way as well.

Paul could have used his apostolic authority to command Philemon; instead Paul begs and pleads with him.

Paul’s plea is based on the change that Christ has made in Onesimus.

The unprofitable slave has now been made profitable.

Today we pick the letter back up in verse 15.

In the end of the letter we discover the motivation for forgiveness.

There are two truths that deal with this motivation.

When that motivation is grasped we will forgive people for the same reason that Christ has forgiven us.

Our first truth this morning is that…

1. Brotherly Love Motivates Our Forgiveness vv. 15-19

Have you ever noticed that different rules apply to our family members?

A brother or sister can say or do things that we would never allow anyone else to do.

For example, my brother Tim and I used to have great terms of endearment for one another.

A term of endearment is a special name you call someone you love.

I call my wife Jessica, Babe.

I used to call my brother Tim, moron. And he called me idiot. And it was wonderful.

Needless to say our mom was less than impressed with out terms of endearment.

The thing is, had anyone else called me an idiot or him a moron, those would have been fighting words.

We have different rules for family.

Now put that into the context of the body of Christ.

We are family members, we are brothers and sisters in Christ.

We should treat one another better than anyone else!

The first people we forgive should be our brothers and sisters in Christ.

Paul bases part of his plea to Philemon on this relationship.

Paul says that Onesimus is…

a. A brother beloved in the Lord vv. 15-17

To get the flow of this section we need to read verses 10-16.

This is the section that Paul really makes his case in.

He refers to Onesimus as his son begotten in his bonds.

He says that though Onesimus was at one time unprofitable he is now profitable to Paul and Philemon.

Paul desires Philemon to receive Onesimus like he would Paul.

Paul could have used Onesimus there with him but he chose to send him back so that Philemon could benefit spiritually through forgiving his servant.

That brings us to our passage this morning.

Look again at verse 15.

Paul wants Philemon to see the Lord’s hand in all of this.

Had Onesimus not run away he wouldn’t have met Paul and been led to Christ!

The Lord is bringing the servant back to Philemon.

Rather than viewing himself as having lost, Paul is striving to get Philemon to see the whole situation as gain!

The language Paul uses in verse 15 is not how one would normally refer to a runaway slave.

There is a subtle difference in the Greek here that sheds some light on how Paul presents his case.

Instead of saying that Onesimus ran away or left what Paul actually says in the Greek is that Onesimus was parted from Philemon (if your looking at ESV it has that idea).

This emphasizes God’s sovereignty over the whole situation!

And then Paul says in verse 16 that Onesimus is no longer a servant but a brother!

Think about what is being said here!

Paul is writing to the master of a slave and telling that master the slave is now his brother!

Paul is telling Philemon to receive Onesimus!

Paul wants Philemon to fully welcome Onesimus back without reservation!

Have you ever had something stolen from you by someone you thought you knew and could trust?

I have, and believe me it is very difficult to trust them again.

But that is exactly what Paul is asking for here.

Not only does Paul want Onesimus to be received, he wants him to be welcomed like a brother!

Paul is subtly changing Philemon’s perception of Onesimus.

This is no longer a servant! This is a brother in Christ Jesus!

This is someone whose sins have been washed in the blood of the Lamb Philemon!

He isn’t a slave!

He is a brother beloved.

Now I really want us to catch what Paul says here because there is so much to learn.

Paul says this runaway is now a brother beloved especially to him.

Now, Paul’s affection we can understand.

After all Paul led him to Christ and according to verse 10 views him as kind of a son.

Also according to verse 13 Onesimus was ministering to Paul.

So we may think to ourselves, “Of course Paul viewed him as a beloved brother, Paul saw Christ transform him!”

But notice what Paul says in the end of v. 16.

These are high expectations!

Philemon should love Onesimus more than Paul does!

We say, “how”?

Paul, Onesimus stole from him!

That’s true, but that was the old Onesimus, that Onesimus is gone!

He is a new creature in Christ; He is part of the body, He is a brother!

This is the kind of attitude we should have toward other members in the body of Christ!

They are family and family should always be forgiven because we love them!

Luke 15 records some teachings of Jesus that none of the other gospel writers record. Look at Luke 15:7, 10 (S).

Luke 15:7, 10

Luke 15:7 NKJV

I say to you that likewise there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine just persons who need no repentance.

Luke 15:10 NKJV

Likewise, I say to you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”

Jesus says that the angels rejoice when someone is saved.

Why?

They rejoice because the sinner is no longer an enemy!

They rejoice because the sinner is now a new creature in Christ!

They rejoice because that person is no longer the same!

Paul is emphasizing to Philemon that Onesimus is no longer the same.

Paul would know. He experienced this same kind of transformation.

He punctuates this thought in verse 17.

Paul again puts Philemon in a tight spot if he refuses to accept Onesimus.

The verse states it positively but allow me to state it negatively.

Philemon, if you reject Onesimus, you reject me.

Receive Onesimus like you would me!

Verse 12 refers to Onesimus as Paul’s own heart.

This runaway slave has been transformed by the blood of Christ and therefore Philemon is to receive him.

Now I want to make this very personal.

You may have been hurt by a fellow believer.

Paul’s words to Philemon are addressed to you.

Forgive.

Forgive out of love.

That person is a brother or sister in Christ and you are to love them!

Love them with Christ’s love!

The love that cleansed and forgave you!

You are brothers and sisters!

You are part of the same body and a body that attacks itself is an ugly thing!

We call that disease. It is unhealthy and must be corrected.

As the body of Christ, when we love, we forgive.

Onesimus is now a brother, he is part of the body.

Paul calls him a brother beloved.

Philemon needs to forgive him.

But there is a difficulty.

Being a brother doesn’t change the fact that there is…

b. A debt to be repaid vv. 18-19

READ vv. 18-19

I want all of us to be clear on something.

Forgiveness does not change the facts!

Forgiveness doesn’t rewrite the past or change history.

It may not even erase the pain.

Forgiveness doesn’t rebuild trust. That has to be earned.

What forgiveness does is change our mindset and heart attitude toward the person who wronged us.

I think that if we are really honest we would all admit that what most often hinders us from forgiving is the fact that we focus too much on the offense.

I believe that Paul in these two verses is a type of Christ.

I believe that Christ is saying to each one of us, “if that brother or sister hurt you, put it on my account!”

There is something we all need to understand.

Any wrongs committed against us have been paid in full by the blood of Christ!

Do you believe that this morning?

Then why are you holding on to that pain?!

I love that Paul says “if” he has done you wrong or owes you anything.

This is not an if of question, it is an if of certainty.

Paul says put it on my account.

Can we fail to see Christ in this?

Christ says to the Father “put their sin on my account and give them my righteousness!”

Why did Christ do this?

The answer is given to us repeatedly in Scripture.

It was love that motivated the Cross!

His great love prompted forgiveness.

He pleads our case before the Father as Paul pleads for Onesimus to Philemon.

PAUSE

I don’t believe we really understand how offensive our sin is to God.

If we did we would never struggle to forgive others.

We would be so overwhelmed with what we have been forgiven that the slights and hurts of this life would seem like nothing!

The perfectly righteous, perfectly holy, perfectly just God forgave us as enemies and haters of Him!

How can we fail to forgive others?!

Especially our brothers and sisters in Christ?!

Paul essentially gives a note of promise in verse 19.

He is promising in writing to pay anything that Onesimus owes.

The love that Paul has for this slave he led to Christ is amazing!

It is the kind of love that comes when we understand the love of Christ!

1 John 4:11 says this.

1 John 4:11

1 John 4:11 NKJV

Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

God’s love motivated Him to forgive; our love should motivate us to forgive.

The end of verse 19 shows us that Paul places greater importance on Spiritual things.

Paul believes that the Spiritual debt Philemon owes him should far outweigh any physical debt of Onesimus.

How about you and I?

Are Spiritual things of greater worth to us than physical things?

Let’s apply that to forgiveness.

The pains and hurts of this life are temporary!

Like the seminary student in our opening illustration we must always remember that souls are eternal!

Wounds heal!

Emotional pain fades!

If we allow physical things to stand in the way of the gospel then we do not understand the heart of God!

Paul wants Philemon to get his eyes off the physical and onto the Spiritual!

A soul has been added to the kingdom of God!

A brother has been born again!

The body of Christ has a new member!

In light of that; physical things should seem petty and unimportant.

Philemon whatever Onesimus owes you is nothing compared to Jesus Christ!

The pains and hurts we face are nothing compared to Jesus Christ!

Quit holding on to injury!

Let go of the offense and forgive.

Let it go.

Embrace the love of Christ.

Forgive as you have been forgiven.

Truth #1 - Brotherly love motivates our forgiveness.

Truth #2…

2. Christ’s Love Motivates Our Forgiveness vv. 20-25

Raise your hand if you have achieved sinless perfection.

Good, I haven’t either.

Isn’t it amazing, wonderful, and awe inspiring that Christ still loves us?

If you are anything like me than you need His forgiveness every day!

He always forgives!

He never fails to forgive us!

When we really understand that forgiveness it should motivate us to forgive!

There are two primary reasons why Christ’s love should motivate our forgiveness.

First of all…

a. If we love, we obey vv. 20-22

READ vv. 20-22

How is Paul expecting Philemon to bring him joy and refreshment?

Through Philemon’s forgiving of Onesimus!

Again remember that Paul is setting Philemon up!

He is leaving him with no way out but forgiveness!

Paul says, “Philemon, allow me to have joy! Refresh me in the Lord!”

Paul mentioned in verse 7 that Philemon was refreshing all the saints who came into contact with him.

Paul is asking him to do the same thing with Paul through forgiving Onesimus.

Our forgiveness has the power to bring joy and encouragement to others.

This positive truth has a negative opposite.

Failure to forgive brings sadness and discouragement.

This sadness and discouragement comes to us as well as to others.

There can be no joy without forgiveness.

When we forgive and experience the joy it brings it encourages our hearts in the Lord.

Paul again sets Philemon up in verse 21.

READ v. 21

Confidence - πέποιθα (pepoitha) persuade; convince. to be convinced v. — to be persuaded or sure of the truthfulness or validity of something. Verb, perfect, active, adverbial participle, singular, nominative, masculine.

Confidence - πέποιθα (pepoitha)

Confidence = to trust, be persuaded.

Paul trusts, believes, and is persuaded that Philemon will do what Paul has said.

Paul calls it obedience.

In some ways This whole question of forgiveness comes down to obedience.

Jesus said in John 14:15 (S).

John 14:15

John 14:15 NKJV

“If you love Me, keep My commandments.

Then we are commanded in Colossians 3:13 (S).

Colossians 3:13

Colossians 3:13 NKJV

bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.

Therefore.

If we really love Christ we will forgive as He commanded us to.

Remember that every single one of His commands were given for our good!

Paul is confident that Philemon will forgive and he states that Philemon will do more than he says.

Paul knows that Philemon will do more than he says.

Paul knows the character of this church leader and is confident in what he will do.

What is Paul really saying here?

This tells us a lot about Philemon.

Philemon is the kind of man who will forgive a runaway thieving slave and welcome him back.

Philemon is the kind of man who will release that same slave, treat him like a brother, and send him to minister to Paul!

In other words Philemon is not a natural, normal man; He is a man who has been transformed by the Love of Christ and now treats others with that same love!

I’m not quite sure how Philemon could do more than Paul says.

Isn’t Paul already asking a lot?

But I believe this indicates his character.

Philemon was one to go the extra mile in his care for others.

If Philemon extended this care to other believers it must now be extended to Onesimus as well.

Verse 22 shows that Paul expected this imprisonment to be temporary.

READ v. 22

Philemon and the others in the Colossian church have been praying for Paul’s release.

How could Philemon pray for one brothers release and fail to release Onesimus?

There is added incentive here for Philemon to forgive because Paul will be coming and will find out what has occurred.

I really appreciate how Paul words this.

I trust that your prayers will be instrumental in my release.

Paul’s trust and care in the Lord is seen everywhere in his letters.

By human standards what Paul is asking for is impossible.

I’m sure all of us could come up with good reasons why Philemon shouldn’t release Onesimus.

I mean what kind of effect would this have on other slaves?

If this runaway isn’t punished others will think they can get away with it!

We need to make an example of him, right?

Aren’t you glad that the Lord doesn’t think that way?

So we shouldn’t either.

We may think things like, “If I just forgive that person than they will think they can walk all over me!”

We so easily forget what Jesus taught.

Turn to Matthew 5:38-48.

Matthew 5:38-48

Matthew 5:38–48 NKJV

“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. If anyone wants to sue you and take away your tunic, let him have your cloak also. And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two. Give to him who asks you, and from him who wants to borrow from you do not turn away. “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so? Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.

The purpose here is to show the world that the believer in Jesus Christ is different!

To cause them to question and seek to know why we are different.

In that seeking they will be led to Christ!

We must forgive if for no other reason than that we have been commanded to.

If we love Christ, we obey. If we obey Christ, we forgive.

There is a line in the Lord’s Prayer that we often read but don’t think about.

Look at Matthew 6:12 (S).

Matthew 6:12, 14-15

Matthew 6:12 NKJV

And forgive us our debts, As we forgive our debtors.

Later in that same passage Jesus goes on to say some very heavy things about forgiveness. Look at Matthew 6:14-15 (S).

Matthew 6:14 NKJV

“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

Matthew 6:15 NKJV

But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Wow.

God’s forgiveness should cause us to forgive.

Forgive out of loving obedience.

Who do you need to forgive this morning?

Quit holding that grudge.

Christ loved you enough to forgive.

Do you love Him enough to forgive out of obedience?

Forgive because of the love of Christ.

That is our first reason, if we love, we forgive.

The second reason is that…

b. If we love, we care vv. 23-25

Paul ends his letters with greetings and a closing blessing.

Now you might be thinking, “what does this have to do with forgiveness?”

Let’s find out!

READ vv. 23-25

Epaphras is only mentioned here and in Colossians.

He seems to be in prison with Paul.

Marcus: this is John Mark, Barnabas’ nephew who wrote the gospel of Mark.

He deserted Paul and Barnabas and at one time Paul hadn’t wanted to give him a second chance.

Now Paul sends his greeting to Philemon.

Aristarchus is one of Paul’s missionary companions from Thessalonica.

He is seen with Paul in Ephesus, Jerusalem, and Rome.

Demas is only mentioned three times. Here, Colossians, and 2 Timothy.

Though he was a faithful minister at one time near the end of Paul’s life Demas had deserted him and gone to Thessalonica.

Paul told Timothy that Demas left “having loved this present world.”

Lucas is believed to be Luke the physician.

He accompanied Paul on his missionary journeys. He also is the author of both Luke and Acts.

Paul’s greetings serve to show us his care and concern for others.

Paul has been transformed by the love of Christ.

Saul the Pharisee wouldn’t have associated with some of these guys.

Let’s take a closer look at a few of these men.

First, Epaphras. Look at Colossians 4:12-13 (S).

Colossians 4:12-13

Colossians 4:12–13 NKJV

Epaphras, who is one of you, a bondservant of Christ, greets you, always laboring fervently for you in prayers, that you may stand perfect and complete in all the will of God. For I bear him witness that he has a great zeal for you, and those who are in Laodicea, and those in Hierapolis.

You don’t learn these things about someone unless you are a caring person.

Saul was a persecutor of the church! He was a hater of Christians! He saw to it that they were imprisoned and put to death!

What changed him?

The love of Christ!

Now let’s talk about Mark.

Again, at one time Paul believed this man to be unprofitable in ministry.

Paul and Barnabas quit working together because of their disagreement about Mark!

Now the love of Christ has changed Paul’s tune!

Aristarchus and Luke both traveled and worked with Paul in sharing the gospel on his missionary journeys.

The point that I am trying to make is that Paul was a caring person and has referred to Philemon as a caring person as well.

When we really understand Christ’s love it causes us to care about others.

The love and care of Christ excludes no one.

Paul sends greetings to Philemon from men of very different backgrounds.

I believe part of the reason is to remind Philemon to care for all saints including his runaway slave.

But he is also using these others as motivation for Philemon to forgive Onesimus.

By including them in his greeting Paul is letting Philemon know that they are aware of the situation.

If he doesn’t forgive Onesimus, all of these guys will know.

Always keep in mind that Paul is writing with a purpose.

Everything he writes is centered on getting Philemon to forgive and release Onesimus.

Paul closes by praying that the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ would be with Philemon’s spirit.

Paul began this letter with the same idea, grace.

Grace is everything.

Ephesians tells us that it is by grace we are saved through faith.

God’s grace is what salvation is all about.

Paul mentions it to remind Philemon that if it were not for God’s grace we would get what we deserve; death, punishment, and eternal separation from God.

Instead we are given life, eternity, and the constant presence of Christ.

Since God extended His grace to us, we should extend that same grace to others.

Yes, Onesimus deserves punishment.

According to their laws he even deserves death, but Philemon, so did you!

But God didn’t give you what deserved! He gave you grace!

If we want people to understand God’s forgiveness we must be forgiving as well!

But maybe you are here this morning and don’t understand God’s forgiveness.

Scripture tells us that all have sinned.

No one is righteous.

All of us deserve death because that is the just penalty for sin.

But God’s gift is eternal life.

To have the eternal life that He offers you must believe that Jesus died on the cross for your sin.

He died to pay the penalty for you.

You must place your faith in His sacrifice, believing that He died for you, was buried, and rose three days later.

He did all of this out of love.

As we are transformed by the love of Christ, we forgive others.

His love motivates us to love others and forgive them as we have been forgiven.

Conclusion

Love.

Love motivates our forgiveness.

Paul encourages Philemon to forgive His runaway slave Onesimus out of love for a fellow believer in Christ.

1 John 4 teaches us that we should love because we are loved.

As we close this morning turn there with me.

1 John 4:7-11

1 John 4:7–11 NKJV

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

One of the ways we demonstrate love for others is through forgiveness.

Christ commands us to forgive, so forgive out of obedience.

We are commanded to love one another and that love demands forgiveness.

This week commit with me to forgiving others because we love Christ and He forgave us.

May we be men and women who forgive as we have been forgiven.