My Marriage Is In Trouble, When is it Time to get help #4

21. And you can't talk without fighting.

If every conversation with your spouse turns into a fight, it might be time to start looking up divorce lawyers. Having non-stop fights with your significant other is a good indication that there's a major disconnect between the two of you, likely one that's insurmountable.

22. Or you and your spouse have stopped arguing.

While having constant arguments is hardly a sign of a healthy marriage, not fighting at all is just as big of a red flag. If you won't have a healthy debate with your spouse over an issue you're passionate about, odds are you've already noticed that your marriage isn't in great shape and feel like there's nothing you can do to change things.

23. You won't apologize to your spouse.

While Love Story may have told audiences that "love means never having to say you're sorry," most people in healthy marriages will tell you the opposite is more accurate. In fact, if you won't say you're sorry to your spouse, that's a pretty good indication that your marriage is over; those still committed to their relationship will fight to make it work, even when doing so means admitting their own faults.

24. You can't talk to them about your problems.

Whether you're dealing with mental health issues, problems at work, or issues with your friends, if you don't feel like you can talk to your spouse about your problems, that's a huge red flag. Not only does needing to rely on others for emotional support increase your risk of having an emotional affair, but not being able to talk to your significant other about major issues in your life means that a major component of your marriage is already missing.

25. You or your partner have substance abuse issues and won't get help.

While substance abuse isn't a moral failing, it's not necessarily an obstacle a marriage can overcome—especially if the person with the issue refuses to recognize it or get help. And while doing illicit drugs may be a more obvious problem, many people believe themselves to be social drinkers when they're anything but. In fact, according to the CDC, one in six adults in the United States binge drinks an average of once a week.

26. You don't respect your significant other anymore.

Respect is a major factor when it comes to overall marital satisfaction. If you think your partner isn't worthy of your respect anymore, that's one of the major signs your marriage is over—whether you want to admit it or not. And not all the signs of disrespect in a marriage are glaring; things as little as making jokes about your spouse's income or looks that seem harmless to you can be a sign of a much bigger problem.

27. You don't have anything in common anymore.

If you want to know whether your marriage is over, just think about the conversations you have with your spouse. When you got together, you probably loved nothing more than spending time on your collective interests. But if those things you thought you had in common turned out to be things you or your spouse just pretended to like in order to woo each other, you might be in over your head. As the list of common interests between you and your spouse wanes, so too do your chances of making it work in the long run.

29. You never get their undivided attention.

It's natural for your partner to check their phone when you are together every now and again, but if they do it constantly, it might be a sign that they have lost interest in your relationship, and that your marriage is in trouble.

"If your partner is always on their cell phone—looking at YouTube, Facebook, or Instagram—they may be more focused on what's going on there than in the relationship," explains Katie Ziskind, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist and owner of Wisdom Within Counseling.

29. Your relationship leaves you constantly feeling drained.

Even if you're not constantly fighting, that doesn't mean your relationship can't leave you feeling utterly depleted. If every second you spend with your spouse makes you feel emotionally and physically drained, that's one of the signs your marriage is over.

30. You're having a physical affair and won't end things.

"If your spouse is having an active affair and doesn't want to drop it, it's pretty much impossible for the marriage to last," says relationship therapist Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin, MS, LCPC, cofounder of The Marriage Restoration Project. And if your spouse is unfaithful and you want to know if you should forgive and forget or head for divorce, check out these 20 Real Women Explain Why They Forgave Their Partners for Cheating. (Spoiler alert: It didn't always work out in their favor.)