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Becoming a better mother
How To Bake A Cake
Preheat oven, get out utensils and ingredients.
Remove blocks and toy cars from table.
Grease pan, crack nuts.
Measure two cups flour.
Remove baby's hands from flour, wash flour off baby.
Remeasure flour.
Put flour, baking powder, salt in sifter.
Get dustpan and brush up pieces of bowl baby knocked on floor.
Get another bowl.
Answer doorbell.
Return to kitchen.
Remove baby's hands from bowl.
Wash baby.
Answer phone.
Return.
Remove 1~/4 inch salt from greased pan.
Look for baby.
Grease another pan.
Answer telephone.
Return to kitchen and find baby.
Remove baby's hands from bowl.
Take up greased pan, find layer of nutshells in it.
Head for baby, who flees, knocking bowl off table.
Wash kitchen floor, table, wall, dishes.
Call baker.
Lie down.
I’ve run out of ways new ways to say “Thanks Mom”.
I mean that relative to my mother and my wife as well.
I say it to my grandmother for the mother that she raised.
I say it to my mother-in-law for the daughter who has become my wife.
There are no new thoughts or expressions.
Perhaps it’s just a slightly different perspective that we can offer with each new Mother’s Day that comes and goes.
We were in Disney World recently and took pictures in front of Cinderella’s castle.
I might never be able to recreate that picture exactly for the angle and the lighting vary and so in that respect it is different.
I would just like today to offer a perspective that is my own and I may never be able to recreate it exactly because there are so many variables.
There are those here today experiencing their first Mother’s Day since their mother has gone.
I hope that you will sense God ministering to you and that you can reach into the rich memory bank and thank God today for this special lady who has impacted and shaped your life.
There are those who are not able to celebrate your relationship with your mother for any number of reasons:
q You never knew her
q She abandoned you
q She ran away
q You ran away
q She never took the time to understand you
q You never took the time to understand her
q She was impossible to please
q You were pleased to be impossible
Whatever the reason, this sermon is crafted prayerfully with you in mind.
Primarily it is a challenge for our Mom’s, our women who will one day be recognized with this singular honor and responsibility.
It is not a challenge that is unattainable for we are looking in the scripture at a very ordinary mother.
She faced her own peculiar set of strengths and flaws.
True to form the scripture presents her – an untouched proof.
You will see her to be guilty of things that you perhaps have never been guilty of.
Lest pride bring blindness to your heart and cause you to miss the message, remember that it is in our weakness that God’s strength and sufficiency is best displayed.
The grace of God is best dispensed in flawed vessels – cracked pots.
While you may not share this specific set of flaws remember that God himself used this lady mightily, ultimately influencing the destiny of a nation.
This message is not a call to perfection and not an indictment if you feel inadequate already.
It is merely a call to aim higher forever.
Most often this is where we should be shamed – not so much in what we hit or miss but in what we aim at.
Let me introduce you to Rebekah, the daughter of Bethuel, the Aramean from Paddan Aram and sister of Laban, the Aramean.
Genesis 25:21
“Isaac prayed to the Lord on behalf of his wife because she was barren.
The Lord answered his prayer and his wife Rebekah became pregnant.
*Apart from the supernatural intervention of God Rebekah would not have had children.*
There may be those here today who have been able to have children.
I have always felt that Mother’s day is a tribute to womanhood.
There is some unidentifiable “X-factor” that makes a mother.
It is more than a biological capacity to produce children.
There is some spiritual predisposition that is standard equipment.
Men come with different predispositions.
You can see it early in life.
Equality
"Equal" is not always synonymous with "the same."
Men and women are created equal.
But, boys and girls are not born the same.
You throw a little girl a ball, and it will hit her in the nose.
You throw a little boy a ball, and he will try to catch it.
Then it will hit him in the nose.
You dress your little girl in her Easter Sunday best, and she'll look just as pretty when you finally make it to church an hour later.
You dress a boy in his Easter Sunday best, and he'll somehow find every mud puddle from your home to the church, even if you're driving there.
Boys' rooms are usually messy.
Girls' rooms are usually messy, except it's a good smelling mess.
A baby girl will pick up a stick and look in wonderment at what nature has made.
A baby boy will pick up a stick and turn it into a gun.
Boys couldn't care less if their hair is unruly.
If their bangs got cut a quarter-inch too short, girls would rather lock themselves in their room for two weeks than be seen in public.
Baby girls find mommy's makeup and almost instinctively start painting their face.
Baby boys find mommy's makeup and almost instinctively start painting the walls.
If a girl accidentally burps, she will be embarrassed.
If a boy accidentally burps, he will follow it with a dozen fake belches.
Boys grow their fingernails long because they don't want to bother cutting them.
Girls grow their fingernails long - not because they look nice - but so that they can protect themselves from the boys.
Girls are attracted to boys, even at an early age.
At an early age, boys are attracted to dirt.
Baby girls often talk earlier than boys do.
Before boys talk, they learn how to make machine-gun noises.
Girls turn into women.
Boys turn into bigger boys called men.
Posted From [Andychap's The Funnies]
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