For Maggie and Michael

Hey church, I’m grateful for this chance to share a word with you. I’m in a really weird place in my life, and I don’t quite know how to feel.

You see today, my middle child, my oldest daughter, turns 15. She is smart, sweet, thoughtful, generous, and full of gumption! She loves animals, and children, and wants to be in the medical field one day. I’m GLAD today because of her.

At the same time, I’m also extremely sad. Yesterday I got the news that one of my very best friends, and one of the best men I’ve ever known, is nearing the end of his life. He’s been a ministry partner, a great blessing to me, and we’ve been friends for 20+ years. I could not be more SAD because of him.

And today, I’m trying to navigate my emotions between those two extremes- being glad because of my daughter and being sad because of my friend. I’m a mess of conflicting emotions. I’ve been asking the Lord to speak to me, and help me, and I believe he gave me a word that I want to share with you.

Romans 12:12 (CSB), 12 Rejoice in hope; be patient in affliction; be persistent in prayer.

As I think about these two extremes of my emotions- sadness and gladness, it occurs to me that most of our days are spent somewhere between these two things. Some days there’s more sadness than gladness, other days there’s more gladness than sadness, but almost always life is a mixture of these two things. Things are rarely as good as we want them to be, or as bad as they could be, and the believer must learn to walk, most days, between these two extremes. We must learn how to navigate life with all its UPS and DOWNS, through the good times and the bad, and discover what is the best way to approach life like that. I think Romans 12:12 can help us.

Romans was written to the believers at Rome in the 1st century, i.e. the early church, to share the power of the Gospel through the person and work of Jesus Christ to save every person that believes. It is a deeply theological letter, which is to say that it teaches us about God and how we are to think about God. It breaks up quite easily into two parts- the first 11 chapters are very doctrinal, and 12-16 are very practical. In this chapter, Paul begins to tell the church how to live in clear view of God’s mercies- present your bodies as living sacrifices, use your spiritual gifts, and exercise love towards one another. This verse falls into the section that is variously labeled (depending on your translation) Behave like a Christian (NKJ), Love in Action (NIV), Marks of the True Christian (ESV), or Christian Ethics (CSB). I’m actually using the CSB, so the word ethics sticks out to me.

A simple definition for ethics is - moral principles that govern a person's behavior. This speaks to me as someone who is in need of direction for dealing with conflicting emotions. Today, it’s gladness and sadness, tomorrow it could be love and hate, anger or apathy, or any other combination of conflicting feelings and emotions. The question is, how do I deal with these things in a biblically, spiritually, and emotionally positive way? According to Romans 12:12, there are three ways:

Rejoice in Hope

Patience in Affliction

Persistence in Prayer.

1. When we are dealing with conflicting emotions, we need HOPE.

What is hope? In general, HOPE is a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen. It is to want something to happen or to be the case. Someone might say, I want to win the lottery, but that doesn’t mean they will. It is a maybe so, but very uncertain.

Biblical Hope is different from the kind of hope we most often experience. Biblical Hope is the confident expectation that what God has promised will come to pass.

E.g., in the case of my daughter, we HOPE she grows up to be a good and godly woman, be healthy, happy, and holy, marry a good man, raise a family, have a career, etc… But we don’t KNOW that any of that will happen. What I can hope for is that if we raise her in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, then she will trust Him and live according to His ways. I can hope in God that what He wants for her will come to pass.

Hope bridges the gap between what is and what will be. When we are dealing with conflicting emotions, we need to be able to put hope in God and rejoice no matter the circumstances.

2. When we are dealing with constant affliction, we need PATIENCE.

The word patient here means to endure. And some translations use the word tribulation rather than affliction. Paul may have persecution in mind, but the word can refer to any kind of hardship.

I think of my friend. I remember the day he came to my office, almost 20 years ago, to tell me that he had cancer. He’s been through transplant, treatments, and a lot of trouble through the years. Through all the pain he has endured, he has been a model sufferer. I never once heard him be upset with God, but always give him glory. He has patiently waited for God’s healing in God’s way at God’s timing, and it appears we may be there now (but not in the way that we wanted).

This the place where HOPE and PATIENCE come together. Of course, we wanted him to experience bodily healing here, and we have waited patiently for it. There is where HOPE comes in. That it hasn’t happened here and now does not diminish the confident expectation that it WILL happen- if not now, then; & if not here, then there. Romans 8:18-25 are about the collision of affliction and hope.

Romans 8:18–25, For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is going to be revealed to us. 19 For the creation eagerly waits with anticipation for God’s sons to be revealed… 23 Not only that, but we ourselves who have the Spirit as the firstfruits—we also groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for adoption, the redemption of our bodies. 24 Now in this hope we were saved, but hope that is seen is not hope, because who hopes for what he sees? 25 Now if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with patience.

In the case of my friend, we hope for healing we have not yet seen, but patiently wait for it to occur. When we experience consistent affliction, we need patience to deal with it.

3. When we don’t know how to feel or how to deal, we need to PRAY and not give up.

If hope is for an expectation that may be a long way off, and endurance is needed for affliction that lasts, then we need a response that is up to the task of both- persistence in prayer.

I love the quote that says “Prayer is to the soul what breath is to the body.” The body can’t live without breath, and the soul can’t thrive without prayer. When we run into an emotion or a condition that we can’t live with, we need to know that we can’t live without prayer.

Philippians 4:6–7, Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Do you see how persistence in prayer is what makes it possible to have hope in uncertain times and patience in unpleasant conditions? All three of these things work together to help us deal with things in a biblically, spiritually, and emotionally positive way.

It wasn’t my intention to co-opt my daughter’s birthday or my friend’s sickness for my own means, and I hope that’s not what I did. It’s just where I am today. I have conflicted emotions and a concern for my friend and his family, I don’t know how to feel about it and I’m not sure how to deal with it. Romans 12:12 speaks to me.

If you are ever in the same place in which you don’t know how to feel and you don’t know how to deal- I encourage you to rejoice in hope, be patient in affliction, and be persistent in prayer.

Thanks and God bless, I pray that God adds the blessing to His Word today.