Seasonal Struggles
Scriptures: Galatians 5:22-26
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other." [1]
I have always asked the Lord to help me to be sensitive to others. There are times when I have chosen to subdue my excitement or enthusiasm because I felt that someone else was at the opposite end of the spectrum. There have been other times when I have forced an enthusiastic response because I have not wanted the spirits of another person to be dampened by my own.
I want to allow myself this morning to address what is one of the most common seasonal struggles that I have ever come across. It seems that for every person that I encounter who is working to enjoy a Merry Christmas this year, there is another who is planning to be unhappy. This is not an isolated plan for either person but one that seems to be repeated from year to year. I am not sure what your plan calls for so far. I realize that there are circumstances that could contribute to either end but I am also certain that there are those who will enjoy the holiday who have comparatively little and there are those who will be immensely unhappy when they have so much that should call forth a spirit of gratitude and thanksgiving.
Any of us can lose our bearings from time to time. I went hunting with Mumbles, a dear friend, a couple of years ago now. He got lost for several hours in the woods. When I met him, I was on the way back to Layton Ford’s camp to sound the alarm. Darkness was approaching and the weather was cold. Not the kind of night that a person would choose to stay in the woods.
I asked him if he was lost and true to the honor of all men he said, “No, I was terrible confused.”
I believe that there are many lost in the cold emotional wilderness who would never admit that they were lost. The best that you’ll ever get is that they might be terrible confused.
1. Attitude Adopted
Ø We develop a sense of entitlement relative to our attitude.
To justify it we cite our misfortune or our abuse – how we have been victimized.
SONG FOR TAMARA
We all feel so sorry for her,
She never asked for it, she didn't deserve it.
It was the only thing she knew
Pain was her path to maturity
And through experience she grew
She turned seventeen on her seventh birthday
and eight on her eighteenth.
Ten terrible years too soon
The little girl is still alive and hating
The childhood thieves who raped her soul
She's looking for the years she lost
And any chance to live them through
But her hate just holds her ransom
And it drives away the few
Who would love to get to know her
If she'd only let them through
The victim has become a tyrant
She rules the present day
It's an adolescent nightmare
cause the child won't go away
I guess she'll be a child forever
From the cradle to the grave
She's trading ten years that she's missing
For a life beyond the pain.
Once she was the victim
Now she plays the fool
The teacher taught her lessons well
Where distortion was the rule
There is one man who loves you
Just because you're you
But you've got to let the victim die
Or the victim will be you.
Ø The attitude that we adopt is powerful. It can make us or break us.
A traveler nearing a great city asked a man seated by the wayside, "What are the people like in the city?"
"How were the people where you came from?"
"A terrible lot," the traveler responded. "Mean, untrustworthy, detestable in all respects."
"Ah," said the sage, "you will find them the same in the city ahead."
Scarcely was the first traveler gone when another one stopped and also inquired about the people in the city before him. Again the old man asked about the people in the place the traveler had left.
"They were fine people; honest, industrious, and generous to a fault. I was sorry to leave," declared the second traveler.
Responded the wise one: "So you will find them in the city ahead."
Your attitude toward people will pre-shape every encounter that you have them, positive or negative.
The people with whom you work reflect your own attitude. If you are suspicious, unfriendly and condescending, you will find these unlovely traits echoed all about you. But if you are on your best behavior, you will bring out the best in the persons with whom you are going to spend most of your waking hours.
n Beatrice Vincent
Wondrous is the strength of cheerfulness, and its power of endurance--the cheerful man will do more in the same time, will do it better, will preserve it longer, than the sad or sullen.
-- Thomas Carlyle
Am I responsible for the attitude that I hold? Or is someone else responsible for it? God can’t do anymore than He has already done. He will not change certain things in your life – you’ll have them for the ride.
One of the consequences of accepting our attitude is that we become judgmental. In this state we misjudge others:
[ Sheltered – They have never known misfortune. A mistake to assume that people who have a ready smile have never known bad times before.
[ Selfishness – they are consumed with themselves and uncaring. If they really cared they would be morose like me.
[ Insensitive – their happiness is hurtful to others.
[ You know what, if it’s true about people it is equally true about things and events and circumstances.
Problems can be augmented or diminished based on our attitudes toward them. Any molehill can be made into a mountain with the wrong attitude. Issues that never need to become issues can be inflated beyond reason with people whose hearts and minds are tiny little things. When I am driven by pride and my selfish perspectives life can become a series of relational catastrophes and conflicts. A big woman or man, large in spirit and settled in their ego can reduce the mountain to a manageable mound and diffuse others who are convinced that the end is imminent.
And you can choose what type of person you wish to become.
So what’s the Christmas Crisis?
2. Attitude Anticipated
Many people fully anticipate from year to year that it is going to be a miserable season and it approaches and they are just as they have anticipated.
A husband gave his wife a beautiful skunk coat beside a Christmas tree. When his wife opened it up she said, "I can't see how such a nice coat can come from such a foul smelling little beast." The husband said, "I don't ask for thanks, but I do demand respect."
I guess if a person can decide to be miserable they can decide to be joyful. An attitude affects other people. When I am upset, it upsets my family. I can pretend all that I want that nothing is wrong and I can deny it thinking that it is better for me to deny and try to shove it out of sight but it shows. But there is a dark cloud over my home when I am out of sorts. Everyone feels it. It’s horrible. There is a tension there that others tip toe around like living in a minefield. There are churches like that as well. Old wars that have been waged in the past and not all the mines have been retrieved.
Ill. – Attitude check given to me by Elaine a few years ago. I have never forgotten it. Although painful, it has never left me and never will.
3. Attitude Accentuated
We are little different from Christmas to Christmas. The season merely reveals the state of our heart and attitude because of what we see around us. My Dad used to take me rabbit hunting in the early fall. He hoped for a late snow when it came to rabbits. The reason was that the rabbits would turn white before the snow came and we could clearly see them because they were conspicuous by their color. We are conscious this time of year that we have so much to be thankful for. I do not have to look far to realize my own good fortune. If our attitude in question this time of year , it is that much more so by virtue of the fact that it is a “happy” time of year. When we are not happy then we are made that much more miserable because of the happiness of others.
We’re like the bunnies out of sorts with the creation. Either the snow has come early leaving us too brown or it comes late leaving us too white.
4. Attitude Adjusted
Has Christmas changed since we were children – not at all. We’ve changed. We’ve learned some things that have caused to act and believe differently. It’s the same holiday that we used to enjoy. I feel sorry for us in all of our knowledge and education. Are we really better off? Do we really make a greater contribution to society as disgruntled adults than we made when we were untouched children? The good news is that if the holiday has not changed hen we can regain a perspective that will allow us to face these days with joy once again.
To Whom It May Concern:
I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult, in order to accept the responsibilities of a 6-year-old. The tax base is lower.
I want to be six again.
I want to go to McDonald's and think it's the best place in the world to eat.
I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make waves with rocks.
I want to think M&Ms are better than money, because you can eat them.
I want to play kickball during recess and stay up on Christmas Eve waiting to hear Santa and Rudolph on the roof.
I long for the days when life was simple. When all you knew were your colors, the addition tables, and simple nursery rhymes, but it didn't bother you, because you didn't know what you didn't know, and you didn't care.
I want to go to school and have snack time, recess, gym and field trips.
I want to be happy, because I don't know what should make me upset.
I want to think the world is fair and everyone in it is honest and good.
I want to believe that anything is possible.
Sometime, while I was maturing, I learned too much. I learned of nuclear weapons, prejudice, starving and abused kids, lies, unhappy marriages, illness, pain, and mortality.
I want to be six again.
I want to think that everyone, including myself, will live forever, because I don't know the concept of death.
I want to be oblivious to the complexity of life and be overly excited by the little things again.
I want television to be something I watch for fun, not something used for escape from the things I should be doing.
I want to live knowing the little things that I find exciting will always make me as happy as when I first learned them.
I want to be six again.
I remember not seeing the world as a whole, but rather being aware of only the things that directly concerned me.
I want to be naive enough to think that if I'm happy, so is everyone else.
I want to walk down the beach and think only of the sand beneath my feet and the possibility of finding that blue piece of sea glass I'm looking for.
I want to spend my afternoons climbing trees and riding my bike, letting the grownups worry about time, the dentist, and how to find the money to fix the car.
I want to wonder what I'll do when I grow up and what I'll be, who I'll be and not worry about what I'll do if this doesn't work out. I want that time back.
I want to use it now as an escape, so that when my computer crashes, or I have a mountain of paperwork, or two depressed friends, or a fight with my spouse, or bittersweet memories of times gone by, or second thoughts about so many things, I can travel back and build a snowman, without thinking about anything except whether the snow sticks together and what I can possibly use for the snowman's mouth.
I want to be six again.
Can I really change my attitude – perhaps not in certain cases. In many and most cases, I believe, people can decide to think and then behave differently. I f you do not choose to think differently you will never act differently.
But what is impossible for you is a springboard to launch you into the realm of the impossible.
"When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and asked, “Who then can be saved?” Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”" (Matthew 19:25-26, NIV)
[2]
Why do I believe that you can change?
Ø This is that change in “thinking” that I referred to. “Consider” is the word that James uses
" Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, . . .” [3]
It is a way to think about the obstacles that you are facing. You could accuse me of tossing pop-psychology at you but this is the Word of God and it is for you
And there’s a reason for his admonition.
“because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
Then James says,
“If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.” [4]
If you don’t understand ask God for wisdom. But if you ask, be prepared to receive the answer. God will not provide you with the answers so that you can reject them. If you want understanding, you have to be prepared for the answer. So many times we have limited or partial answers from people because they know that we are not prepared for the answers.
The brother in humble circumstances ought to take pride in his high position. But the one who is rich should take pride in his low position, because he will pass away like a wild flower. For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich man will fade away even while he goes about his business. Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him." (James 1:2-12, NIV) [5]
Happiness is caused by things that happen around me, and circumstances will mar it; but joy flows right on through trouble; joy flows on through the dark; joy flows in the night as well as in the day; joy flows all through persecution and opposition. It is an unceasing fountain bubbling up in the heart; a secret spring the world can't see and doesn't know anything about. The Lord gives his people perpetual joy when they walk in obedience to him.
Dwight Lyman Moody (1837-1899)
Ø And then I believe it because one of the evidences of the presence of the Spirit of God in a person’s life is joy.
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other." (Galatians 5:22-26, NIV) [6]
In other words, there is a problem when you find a “joyless” Christian. That is not a human, manufactured emotion that comes from within. It is a Divine quality that becomes evident in a person’s life because of a relationship with God. A person who is joy filled when there is no human reason to be so is a person who has a supernatural quality about them. You find it by drawing on the relationship that you have with God.
It doesn’t depend upon the right set of circumstances or favorable conditions or how people feel about you. God is a joy-giver and joy is contagious. Sometimes it is easier to define by it’s absence than it is by it’s presence.
Christians, it is your duty not only to be good, but to shine; and, of all the lights which you kindle on the face, joy will reach farthest out to sea, where troubled mariners are seeking the shore. Even in your deepest grieves, rejoice in God. As waves phosphoresce, let joys flash from the swing of the sorrows of your souls.
n Beecher
True joy is not a thing of moods, not a capricious emotion, tied to fluctuating experiences. It is a state and condition of the soul. It survives through pain and sorrow and, like a subterranean spring, waters the whole life. It is intimately allied and bound up with love and goodness, and so is deeply rooted in the life of God.
Rufus Matthew Jones (1863-1948)
" A miktam of David. Keep me safe, O God, for in you I take refuge. I said to the LORD, “You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing.” As for the saints who are in the land, they are the glorious ones in whom is all my delight. The sorrows of those will increase who run after other gods. I will not pour out their libations of blood or take up their names on my lips. LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. I will praise the LORD, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I have set the LORD always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, because you will not abandon me to the grave, nor will you let your Holy One see decay. You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand." (Psalm 16:1-11, NIV)
[7]
She was famous among her friends for her happy attitude toward life. No one every heard her sitting back complaining over the darkness of her days. A friend in England thought she knew the reason Miss Crosby could be so happy and brave and she wrote the following:
Sweet blind singer across the sea,
Tuneful and jubilant, how can it be?
That the songs of gladness, which float so far,
As if it fell from the evening star.
Are the notes of one who never may see visible music of
flowers and tree?
How can she sing in the dark like this?
What is her fountain of light and bliss?
Her heart can see, her heart can see!
May long she sing so joyously!
For the Lord himself in his tender grace
Hath shown her the brightness of his face.
If God Had A Refrigerator
If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.
If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.
He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning.
Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen.
He can live anywhere in the universe, and He chose your heart.
What about the Christmas gift He sent you in Bethlehem; not to mention that Friday at Calvary.
Face it, friend. He's crazy about you.
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[1] The Holy Bible : New International Version. 1996, c1984 (electronic ed.). Grand Rapids: Zondervan.
[2] The Holy Bible : New International Version. 1996, c1984 (electronic ed.). Grand Rapids: Zondervan.
[3] The Holy Bible : New International Version. 1996, c1984 (electronic ed.). Grand Rapids: Zondervan.
[4] The Holy Bible : New International Version. 1996, c1984 (electronic ed.). Grand Rapids: Zondervan.
[5] The Holy Bible : New International Version. 1996, c1984 (electronic ed.). Grand Rapids: Zondervan.
[6] The Holy Bible : New International Version. 1996, c1984 (electronic ed.). Grand Rapids: Zondervan.
[7] The Holy Bible : New International Version. 1996, c1984 (electronic ed.). Grand Rapids: Zondervan.