The Personality of Christian Grief 061420

Hey everyone, we're glad that you're here. We're kind of low on Lumber today. Hope everyone. Is doing okay and healthy? If you have your Bibles, I want you to turn. We'll get there in a second, but I want you to turn the Hebrews chapter 4. And we're going to look at versus. 15 + 16

Today, I'm going to talk about the topic. of grief and one of the reasons I'm doing that so I was thinking the other day.

I think I've been to more funerals. in the last year that I had in the last 10 or 12 years combined. And when you when you think about grief and I want us to think about it this morning when you think about grief.

That is every human being is going to have to deal with grief to some extent at one time or another. And as you get older, and I've noticed this as you get older your family circle on Earth. begins to decrease and more and more of your family and friends go go on to Heaven, hopefully. But unlike many other the issues that we Face grief is something that everyone will face. So what I want to do this morning is look at it and how can we understand grief batter in order to?

Deal with it effectively in our own lives, but not only that I want you to think about this morning how we can help others grieve because all of us that we are all going to grieve at some point in time, but then of course other people will as well and we need to be able to help them as they deal with grief. So one of the things I want to say about it and the title of this message today is the personality of Christian grief and that is finding God in your loss grief is very personal. And not everyone responds to grease the same way some people respond to grief with a great deal of emotion. Some people cry a lot. They get discouraged. They get depressed other people respond to grief very stoic lie, just kind of matter-of-factly you just you know, something's happened. I've lost a loved one. I've lost a spouse or child. I just got to deal with it. Some people respond that way some people Express anger. I know several people that I know that they lost a loved one and they became very angry. And some even became bitter with God but people feel a range of emotion, but the Bible says that is Christians that we don't grieve like those who have no hope so that means that we have a hope in other words. We can find Hope and comfort as Christians in our grieving so I want to read Hebrews chapter 4 and I want to read verses 15 and 16 now. This is a topical message today. So I'm going to be reading just a ton of scripture so you don't have to just flip every time and find any Bible. If you don't want to we're going to have it up here on the screen. So we going to begin with Hebrews 4 15 and 16 that look what the Bible says for. We do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses but wasn't all points tempted as we are yet without sin then vs. 1/16. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace that we may obtain mercy and find Grace to help in time of need. So there's someone that we can go to to find help in our time of need now. This makes grieving very personal. And we can find help and comfort. So I want us first of all to look at a question that I want us to answer and this is the question. Is grief a process? Or is it about a person? Is it a process or is it about a person that let me give you what current secular secular thought says secular thought says that it's a process is something that you go through and you go through it in stages. Let me give you the stages of grief.

As given by secular fault here, they are denial. Number one you just deny that it ever happened then anger. You become angry because you lost a loved one or you become angry at God for taking that person number 3 is bargaining you start to bargain. Well God, if you'll do this or such-and-such, I'll do this number for is you fall into depression you get very discouraged and then fifthly you'll end up with Acceptance. In other words. You just accept the fact that your loved one has passed away and that's where it ends now you may I don't know just think of your own life. You may have gone through these stages. You may have denied it. You may have gotten angry you may have bargained with God You may fail you may have fallen into depression. And finally you accepted it. But many will not go through three stages many will not go through this process. Some will have anger to begin with and then they all of a sudden accepted and three months down the road. They're angry again. It could just switch back and forth or you may not have any of these that we talked about you say, here's the problem with the process and the staging of grieving the process is arbitrary. Is artificial if it's abstract. It's just a plan a process of stage of something. You can read in a book. Where is the Comfort Inn that wears the Hope in the grace and the mercy and a process. You may go through this process, but what hope do you have at the end of that process? What do you have? It's also Arctic in that it is nothing but cold comfort going through a process. It's nothing that's personal about it. It's just abstract theory that I may offer some truth. You may go through it but there's no compassion and no Comfort. If I if I said the brother Pat this morning brother Pat not don't you go out and drink tonight? Because when you get up in the morning you going to have a headache well brother pack goes out and drink tonight he gets up in the morning and he has a headache. Where is the Comfort Inn that all he can say is well, that's what preachers and he was right. Where's the Comfort at in that wears the personableness in that you see Christianity is more than just a compilation of fact to believe it is a savior to trust and to love If not, a process grief is not a process grief is all about a person and that person is Jesus Christ. That's the person now you can look at it and say well grief is kind of like a process. You know, it's personal is also variable with unpredictable is individual but the key thing is about grief is where does it end up and if it's with Jesus is going to end up with what the Bible says. He was the Man of Sorrows who was acquainted with grief. So when you face loss The only answer is to seek and find Jesus because he's the God man and he brings inability that no Theory no processed. No program no description. No person know Pastor could ever bring to you. So listen to the description of Jesus in Isaiah chapter 53, and we going to begin inverse for then we're going to look at burst at 7 and 8 and then 10:11. We're going to have it up here on the screen Isaiah 53 verse for surely. He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows yet. We esteemed him stricken Smitten by God and afflicted. He was oppressed and he was afflicted yet. He opened not his mouth. He was led as a lamb to the slaughter and as a sheet before his shares is silent. So he opened not his mouth first. He was taken from prison and from judgment and who will declare his generation for he was cut off from the land of the living for the transgressions of my people. He was stricken speaking of the Cross yet it pleased the Lord that look at this to bruise him that we're bruised means to crush it pleased the Lord to crush him. He has put him to grief when you make it so an offering for sin. He shall see his seed he shall prolong his days and the pleasure of the Lord shall prosper in his hand. He shall see the labor of his soul and be satisfied by his knowledge. My righteous servant shall justify many for he shall by their iniquities bear their iniquities. In other words, you you begin to understand the depth of Christ grief and loss. He is able to understand the depth of your loss and grief because his wheelhouse and grieve went much deeper than ours and farther than our grief ever could in his crucifixion and death. He experiences the sorrow and grief of everyone who has ever lived think about that. He took on all the sorrow all the grief of anyone who has ever lived. Have you ever lost a loved one? So has Christ You ever been betrayed by friends? So has Christ. 12 times over or more you ever feel like God has abandoned you listen to Christ's words on the cross my God my God. Why has Thou forsaken me? You see he's been through it your soul ever anguished. Have you ever been crushed by a loss Jesus felt the same way in the garden when you asked the Lord to take this cup from me never last not what I will but what you will how exactly did Christ Bearer griefs and carried our sorrows will simply by becoming a man. He experienced the brats and the depth of human experience as the Bible tells us but more than that by being our savior. He purposely took upon himself the grease and Sorrows of others now, With that say it. Here's what I want to do today in this message. I want to give you four truths for truth. But you're going to need to clean to as we think about finding Grace and comfort and mercy when we lose a loved one or someone that's close to us. This is for those of us who are grieving right now, but it's also for us who may be able to help others in the grieving process. Remember? It's really not a process. If not a program. It's all about a person number one. Christian grief is about the presence of God now since he's not physically visible. How can we know this? Well, it happens through faith trust in God that he's true to his word and he tells us in his word when we are hurting and when we are suffering he is especially close to us at that time. I will give you three scriptures. Are the are some 46 and verse 1? God is our refuge and strength a very present help in trouble. If you ever found that to be true I have that when I'm in trouble when I'm suffering sorrow when I'm in grief, he's a very present help. He's a refuge. He will strengthen You by Psalm 46:1 look at Psalm 34:18. The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart and say such as have a contrite spirit your heart ever been broken. The Lord is near to those the Bible says and now look at this Isaiah 43:2 one of my favorite verses in the Bible when you pass through the waters, I will be with you through the rivers. They shall not overflow you when you walk through the fire you shall not be burned nor shall the flame Sports you this is the Lord who is very present notice how all these scriptures emphasize The presence of God in our life when we are suffering over and over in the actual presence is made possible through the Holy Spirit who makes this truth real in our life in God's love is real. It's real when we're suffering he comes to us in the midst of our suffering. not by understanding arbitrary stages and processes of grief or even an abstract knowledge that God is supposed to be present It's Made Real by the presence of God in the person of the Holy Spirit and I look what Romans 5:3 through 5 tells us

And not only that but we also glory in Tribulation that we're tribulation mean suffering. So you mean we're going to glory and our suffering knowing that suffering produces perseverance perseverance character and character. Hope now hope does not disappoint because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts house by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. That's exactly we can even have joy in our suffering the Holy Spirit takes what would otherwise most people would think is wishful thinking and he makes God present in our suffering he is growing us through suffering and we can even rejoice in our suffering God is present with us in our suffering now, that's number one. Number two. We going to move quickly. Number one Christian grief is about the presence of God number to Christian grief is about the perspective of God. Now when I say perspective, this is what I mean. We have to have God's perspective. In other words when we are grieving we need to understand that God is Sovereign. What do I mean? I say that word all the time. What does that mean that he saw and it just means that he's in control the Gods in control of your life. He has a purpose for everything that happens in your life even death. Of a loved one. There's a purpose now many parts of scripture teach this But he saw Burnley provides meaning to to the losses that we grief. If you lose a loved one apart from knowing that God is in control. Then that loved one is nothing more than a total loss. There's no purpose in life. There's no hope in life after death. There is nothing for me to do but greed there's only emptiness and pain or whatever. I do to numb the pain knowing that God is in control. It changes everything when we grieve because he has a plan and a purpose for everything that happens to us even in tragedy and sorrow nothing surprises got nothing takes him off guard. He has a plan for everything. And his sovereignty brings meaning to lost even when we can't bring meaning to it or see any specific purpose behind it. You see fake trust in God's goodness and benevolence and eventually we will understand and see what God is doing. Let me take you to a few passages of scripture to show you how this works and we're going to the book of Lamentations Prophet Jeremiah. He is grieving for his people because of just incredible Devastation to Jerusalem and suffering Israel has been invaded Israel has been destroyed. The land has been devastated the city has been plundered and many of God's people have been killed or taken into captivity. And the only thing that remained was just misery and suffering and Jeremih expresses the depth of his pain to God and I want you to see it and we see it and Lamentations chapter 3 and we're going to begin in verse 1. Look at what the Bible says. I am the man who has seen Affliction by the rod of his wrath This is Jeremiah speaking. Verse 5 he has besiege me and surrounded me with bitterness. And whoa. Well, you got to actually say what he's very discouraged what gets worse. Look at what he says in verse 19. Remember my Affliction and roaming the wormwood and the gall and then verse 20 my soul still remembers and sinks within me or this is his low point right here. He is just bumped into misery is what he's doing and then he says something in verse 21, that sounds absolutely absurd. Look at what he says in verse 21. This our call to my mind. Therefore I have hope how the world could you have any hope in the situation that Jeremiah was in how could you have hope when he tells us in verses 22 the 25 and listen to this I have hope through the Lord's mercies. We are not consumed because of his compassions fail not they are new every morning great is your faithfulness. The Lord is my portion says my soul. Therefore. I hope in him. The Lord is good to those who wait on him to the soul who sings him you ever found out that the Lord's mercies are fresh in the Hue every single morning. I'm sure that you have You say Jeremiah is convinced that God's love and his faithfulness has not failed and that God is going to be faithful to the end will how can he believe this when everything he sees the knives what he's saying he he can say this because he understands God is Sovereign and look what he says and verses 37 and 38. Who is he who speaks and it comes to pass when the Lord has not commanded it and look what he says in verse 38 is it not from the mouth of the most high that whoa and well-being proceed? This is a man who understands the salt God is in control. And sometimes we have low sometime we have misery sometime we have destruction, but he also is good to us and he does good things and he comes to us and our grief. and he comes to us and he ministers to us through the person of the Holy Spirit you see God has a purpose for everything that happens and he's in charge of everything. Now what we said so far we said it Christian grief is all about the presence of God and we say Christian grief is all about the perspective of God. God is a very present help in times of trouble and he will minister to us because he's in charge and we know when we lose a loved one that there's a plan and purpose for it. It's just not health or stelter flip a coin 50/50 slice and dice know God has a purpose and a plan for everyone's life number 3. Christian grief Is about the promises of God and we're going to speed up here. God promises that he is committed to his people. Modified the Bible says he'll never leave us nor forsake us. We can come to him in prayer and he promises to hear us but not only that he promises to act on our behalf. Listen to what the Bible says in Jeremiah 29 12 and 13. This is what you can rely upon when you are grieving. Then you will call upon me and go and pray to me and I will listen to you and you will seek me and find me when you search for me with all your heart friend. That's the promise we have when we are grieving that if we will come to God in prayer and seek Him He says you will find me you will find me. I will be found by you. You see how personal this is. You see, we serve a very personal. This is not a process. Let me see where am I anger bargaining acceptance? Where am I at on the scale of the stages in the process? And we have more than a process. We have a person Jesus Christ This is Personal, what did the Samus say? The Lord is why my shepherd in Psalm 23, that's personal. He leads me beside Still Waters in Green Pastures. That's a providing Shepherd. And then what does he say at the end? Is that even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. God is with me. It's a personal protecting Shepherd. We have that. He says you cry out to me. I will respond to you. I will answer you I will minister to you in friend. That's what matters to a grieving person God is present God is Sovereign his perspective and we can access him through prayer. That's his precious promise to us and you can tell God how you're hurting. You can tell him about your emotions. You can tell him about your fears. You can tell him about your anger. Everybody response to grief differently, if you're angry and you're better tell him about it. He wants to hear your perspective on it and he will minister to your heart you say you can't interact with a process, but you can interact with a good God. You can do that and he knows exactly what's going on. And he wants to hear your perspective. We can clean to his promises Christian grief is all about the promises of God where does one more move clothes? Christian grief is all about the people of God. It's all about the people of God helps us in the grieving. Through his people when you're in the presence of God's people God will use them to express the reality of everything that I've just explained his presents his perspective and his promises they manifest his presence because the Holy Spirit resides in God's people they remind us of his promises because they will lovingly speak words of encouragement to us. They'll pray for us and they'll pray with us seeking God for on our behalf in the midst of grief friends. We don't grieve along we have God's people with us and as these people live out the fruit of the spirit and their lives he uses people to bring comfort and hope and grace and mercy to the one who Grieves. This is not some objective Theory. This is not the stages. This is not the process. You see when you look in the Bible you find a range of emotions in the Bible for those who grieve. Abraham born when Sarah died Bible says he wept over her. David was always very vocal and publicly whipped when he wept over the death of Saul and Jonathan. Remember this one in the Book of Ruth Naomi her the had a famine in the land and Naomi and her family her husband and two sons left Jerusalem and went over to Egypt and there in Egypt. Naomi's husband died and both her sons. All she was left with was to Pagan daughter-in-laws. Remember what the Bible say about Naomi she went back home and in the end the people say we're here comes Naomi, and she said to them she said don't call me Naomi you call me Mara. The Hebrew word Mara means bitter and this is what she said. She said the Lord sent me out. Raught me home empty. She was bitter and angry at God. Because she had lost her husband and lost two sons and even Jesus Remember at the death of Lazarus. He wept with Mary and Martha with family and friends you say friend. The stage is the process mentality. It misses the mark to expect people to go through some preconceived stages to me is fool is insensitive to the personal nature of grief. It is very personal. This stages is artificial. A description on how people's going to experience grief offers. No, hope no Comfort no. Peace. No joy in the midst of suffering the best that we can do in this approach is that the person will come to some measure of acceptance of something which they have no answer and no ultimate. Hope I come to accept my loved one is dead and buried. In the story. Where is the Comfort Inn map? There's no comfort in that it's arbitrary abstract artificial. It is cold comfort but see a Biblical response centers on Jesus. He knows what it is to grief. The Bible says his grief reached the level of grief that we will never experience. He's the mediator between God and man he's able to help us in our time of suffering and Temptation. Let's go back to our main verse again. If you will our main verse and let's look at what it says. Again Hebrews 4:15 and 16th that look at it again for we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses or suffering but was in all points tempted as we are yet without sin Let Us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace that we may obtain mercy and find Grace to help in time of need when I grieve I can expect more than mere acceptance of the fact that someone has died. I know that God has a plan for my life. I can go to him with confidence and know that I will receive his mercy and his grace will help me in my distress where I am. I find none of that in the stages or process of grieving. Here's what I find. I found my Creator is what I find and he personally responds to my loss and friends when others grieve and when you're in the presence of others who have lost loved ones, I can Comfort them with the same comfort that God has comforted me with matter fact. There's a verse that says that and I want you to look at it at 2nd Corinthians 1:4 and look at what the Bible says. Who comforts Us in all our tribulation or suffering that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God friends. We can give people what really matters. It's not a set of stages or processes is not anything written in a book. We can give them Christ because he's the man of Sorrows. He's the one who was acquainted with grief. So Christian grieving is all about the presence of God. It is all about the perspective of God. He Sovereign all about the promises of God when we cry out the damn he has promised that we will find him and he'll come to us and it's all about the people of God that we can Comfort others with the comfort that we have received friend. That is the personality A Christian grief and that's how we find God in our lost. Amen. Let's pray father. We do. Thank you and praise you and love you today for your word. Lord we thank you. I know that there's so many even in here today who has experience grief in the last year or two. Lord I pray that we will turn to you when we are grieving and suffering. What I know the secular Community wants to help. In Lord, many of us when we grieve. We may even go through some of these stages that they give us the anger in the denial and the depression. We may even go through that. Velour, we know there's no hope in that there's no comfort in that is too arbitrary and artificial or we thank you that we can go to a person that Christian grief is person in the world that we have a God who cares his name is Jesus Christ and he lives on the inside of all of us who are truly say Lord. Thank you that you are a very present help in times of trouble. Thank you that you're Sovereign that you have a plan and purpose for everything that happens in our life. Thank you for your precious promises that you'll never leave us nor forsake us. You'll be a friend that sticketh closer than a brother and when we call out to you you will act on our behalf and thank you for the good Christian people you put in our lives. May we all be able to help others as they agree with the comfort that we have been comforted with forcing Christ's name. I do pray. Amen. All right. Well, we won't have an invitation or anything today. I'm glad that you were able to be here today. Remember we will meet again Wednesday night and we will continue our introduction to the life of Joseph. Next Sunday is Father's Day. Is that right? Okay, next Sunday is Father's day. So we'll have a Father's Day message. And then after that the next Sunday will probably start on the life of Joseph. Anyone have any questions this morning about anyting. All right.