Character Always Matters

Scripture Introduction:

You are on a diet. For the past week you’ve been exercising like a professional athlete and eating nothing but rabbit food. Then you walk by a kid selling strawberry pies. You buy three of them hoping to share with your family. You eat all three. But you justify this by saying, “I’ve done so good on my diet that I deserve to cheat a little”.

Sociologists have coined a term for this behavior. It is called moral licensing. And it extends to far more than just eating strawberry pie while on a diet. Studies have found that when we humans do something that we consider a good deed rather than backing that up with more good deeds we tend to go the other way and give ourselves permission to do something less than favorable.

I first learned about this concept listening to Malcom Gladwell’s podcast, Revisionist History. Gladwell weaves together stories of outsiders who broke through a barrier only to have the door closed behind them. Rather than seeing the door remain open what often happens is that accepting one “outsider” serves as justification for the status quo to close the door again. There are exceptions to the rule, like Jackie Robinson breaking the color barrier in the MLB, but more often than not the door closes after one outsider breaks through.

I did this good thing and so then I can kind of justify doing something that’s not so good. Because I can fall back upon that good action or good actions and say, “see this means I’m not that bad of a guy.” To use language from 1 Peter last week, I’ve done this good thing for my wife and so I ought to be able to get away with not being so understanding on this particular occasion.

I think you can see that same type of moral licensing when someone is being persecuted, or threatened, or finds themselves in the thick of a particular battle. It’s a war-time mentality. We have to win this particular battle. And we give ourselves permission to compromise a little on morality, to lower our standards just a little bit, because there is a much bigger battle and a much bigger war out there. And so—if I can cut a corner here which can lead to a victory, then I can pick up the pieces later.

And we see this happening often when we find ourselves a victim of something. It’s easy to justify wrong behavior at these points in our lives. This thing has happened to me and so I deserve to do this particular thing that I might not normally do. The end justifies the means. This particular thing is unjust and so I can engage in an unjust action to try to put an end to it.

The apostle Peter writes to a group of people who are likely not living in their hometown. Even if their GPS unit hasn’t changed address their standing in society definitely has. Their faith in Christ has cost them relationships, it’s cost them a standing in society, it’s put them in a position to endure much shame—to be dishonored. They are being reviled and slandered.

Everything I just said to you about moral licensing would have likely been a temptation for them. “Do I really have to follow Nero? Do I really need to turn the other cheek if it’s going to be hit again?” Listen to God’s Word through the Apostle Peter:

1 Peter 3:8–12 ESV

Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. For “Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”

Sermon Introduction:

Some folks have seen in this passage verse 8 as how Christians should treat one another and then verse 9 is how Christians should treat those who are outside the kingdom. I don’t necessarily think that is wrong—but I think it’s doing something just a little bit differently. I think what we have in this passage is character in verse 8 and then character in action in verse 9. And then in verses 10-12, where Peter quotes from Psalm 34, I think you have the reason for that character and character in action.

Character is absolutely vital in the Christian life. And it’s vital because the gospel is true and God’s Word is true. Godliness will be persecuted. You are going to be reviled. You are going to be slandered. There is going to be a battle for your soul. We shouldn’t be shocked that the darkness hates the light. But we do get taken off guard at times. And when we get reviled—when folks say awful and nasty things to us and about us…how do we respond? C.S. Lewis, I think, helps us to see why character matters so much

Surely what a man does when he is taken off his guard is the best evidence for what sort of man he is. If there are rats in a cellar, you are most likely to see them if you go in very suddenly. But the suddenness does not create the rats; it only prevents them from hiding. In the same way, the suddenness of the provocation does not make me ill-tempered; it only shows me what an ill-tempered man I am. 

If you’ve got rats in your basement they aren’t appearing just because you flipped on the lights and startled them. They were always there. In the same way if somebody rails against you and you respond with an angry attack of your own then this is really just exposing the anger in your own heart. That rat was always there. The situation just exposed it. And so that’s why Peter says what he does in verse 8.

Finally, all of you...

He has been talking to specific groups but here he speaks to everyone. Every single one of you. That means none of us—none of those of us who claim Christ as our Lord and Savior—are able to squirm out of this. If Christ is your King then this needs to be our character. This is the character he is working in us. This is the fruit of the Spirit that he is working within us. And then he gives these 5 things.

First, have unity of mind. It doesn’t mean that everyone needs to think the same way. That’s not the way the Bible speaks about unity. It’s not uniformity. But what it does mean is that we are called to have a common purpose a common goal. But this isn’t a thing you do as much as who you are. It’s a settled principle. The glory of God matters more than my personal opinion. That matters more than me being right or getting my way. I want to be the type of person who strives for unity. And I’ll just say that I really found C.H. Spurgeon’s comment on this text quite humorous:

Be unanimous; do not hold church-meetings to talk about nothing, and so quarrel for the want of something to do. Be united with the resolve that you will glorify God, and that there shall be no dissension, no division among you:

And can I just say—that this is one of the things I love about Calvary. After the service we’re going to have a business meeting. From the looks of things its going to be about 5 minutes long. And I think that’s the case—not because folks don’t care—y’all care deeply about what happens in the life of this church. But there is a spirit of unity and trust among us. And I love seeing that. I believe there is a unity of purpose here. And that excites me. It excites me that even if at times there is a difference of thought the guiding principle is unity. I thank God for that. And pray that His Spirit continues to work that grace deeply into all of our hearts.

Secondly, sympathy. This is really just trying to feel what someone else feels so that you can respond sensitively. If you want to see what this doesn’t look like then consider Job’s friends. They were thinking more about their responses and what they could say and how to put Job in his place than to actually listen. It’s been said before that, “ People who have true "sympathy" generally do not say, "I know how you feel." Because since they know how you feel, they also know how unhelpful it is to hear someone say, "I know how you feel."

This is something which I think would absolutely revolutionize the way we interact with one another. Even if I disagree with someone I want to listen to them. I want to hear from them. I want to have the type of character that’s going to give them the benefit of the doubt and try to see them and represent them in the best way possible. If I’m going to disagree with them then I want to bring out the absolute best of their argument and try to engage that. I want to be able to know the other person and their position so well that I could argue their points for them. That takes time. That’s quiet. That requires presence. That requires relationship. That requires really trying to get into another person’s shoes. And Peter says be the type of people who are that.

Third, brotherly love. Some see this as the anchor to the entire list of 5 because it’s right in the middle. You’ve got mind stuff on the bookends and heart stuff in the second and fourth position. And I think it’s probably right to see that. Love one another like a brother, with brotherly love. I’m an only child—so I probably have a harder time really getting this one. But I’ve seen the way siblings interact with one another. One moment they might be punching each other and then somebody else comes in and tries to punch one guy and he gets clocked by the brother, “hey, don’t you hit my brother”! Brotherly love is to deeply have one another’s back. This is my family. Only on the rarest of occasions would a family break up. And man, how important is this for those who are scattered and probably separated from their real biological families. This bond—being in Christ—is deeper and thicker. So have this brotherly love. Be that type of person.

Fourth, a tender heart. Literally, it’s to “feel generous in your belly” to have “healthy bowels”. But we translate this in English as tender heart so that we don’t have a bunch of people going out buying Bran Flakes as their Christian duty. But what this shows is feeling deeply for others. To genuinely care about them. It’s really hard to hate somebody that you are praying for and that you have a vested interest in. And I think that’s what he’s saying here. I like how one older commentator put this:

That carries one a step further than compassion. Tenderheartedness is more than correspondence; it is gentle ministry. It includes the service of the tender hand, it not only feels the pains of others; it touches the wounds with exquisite delicacy. Even the pitiful man can be clumsy. Six men may have the sympathy, but only one of the six may be able to touch the wound so as to heal it. The Lord will add a gentle hand to our compassion. He will take away all brusqueness, all spiritual clumsiness, so that in the very ministry of pity we may not “break the bruised reed, nor quench the smoking flax.”

Being tenderhearted is going to cause you to use the right tools for the job. You’ll use a scalpel instead of a pick axe.

Lastly, a humble mind. Or to be humble in spirit. This isn’t just that we somehow pretend like we’re not as smart as the other guy or we pretend to be humble b/c we’ve heard you catch more flies with honey. No this is deep character stuff. We are lowly in spirit as the Bible calls us to. We realize that apart from grace we don’t really know much of anything. And we’re dependent on God for everything we have and we know this is true of others as well. It’s having kind of a vulnerability and knowing how unbelievably fragile we really are. Apart from grace, I wouldn’t know a thing. I wouldn’t do a right thing. Nothing. And as Piper, I think wonderfully puts it, “this grace makes us wonderstruck that we are loved, not pushy and self-assertive.”

These aren’t things that you can fake, ultimately. These things are who you are. It’s character stuff. And this is going to come out when you are reviled. Your character will be revealed when someone does evil to you. You’re going to want to repay that evil. But if your character is deep then you aren’t going to be so quick to do that. That’s why Peter calls us to these graces.

Verse 9 goes against everything within us. This isn’t just talking about trading blows. What he’s saying here isn’t just saying if somebody punches you in the face don’t punch them back. This is talking about all kinds of stuff. Anything that I might use to “get back” at another person—hold a grudge, slander, manipulate a situation to enact their demise, flatten their tires…whatever is motivated by “i’m going to pay you back” is what he’s talking about in this verse. He’s saying don’t pay them back.

But it’s not only that. It’s not just don’t hit back. It’s to actually do the exact opposite. Bless them. Now this isn’t the old Southern way of saying something awful about someone and then seasoning it with “bless his heart”. No, this means to actually work to be a blessing to them. If you want to see an example of this look at Daniel in exile and how he labored to bless the foreign king.

That goes against everything within us, doesn’t it? Especially in your cancel culture. Friends, that is never biblical. No matter what side of the aisle you are on to dismiss someone who was formed in the image of God. To diminish them to their lowest common denominator as if they cannot change. But that is where we are on this cultural moment—at it’s also likely part of the temptation that even the believers faced in Peter’s day. They were being persecuted, it would have been so easy to say, “we’ve got an excuse here…we have to survive…we better fight…we better punch back.”

These verses aren’t weapons we use against others. These verses are for us. In whatever way I feel threatened, reviled, nervous about my future, persecuted, etc. we are called by Christ to bless instead of return evil for evil.

Again character propels us to that but also what we see in verse 9 and 10-12. The Greek at the end of verse 9 is a bit difficult. It could mean, “we bless so that we obtain this blessing of Psalm 34 (that’s verse 10-12).” Or it could mean since you’ve obtained this blessing—since you are of the people who this blessing belongs to—now be one who blesses. That’s a bit more clunky but I think it’s actually what Peter is getting at here.

Because he goes on to quote Psalm 34. Now Psalm 34 has a history. It says at the top that this was written by David when he “changed his behavior before Abimelech”. That story is in 1 Samuel 21. David pretended to be a mad man. He would endured shame to rescue himself and to rescue others. In the moment he looked like a complete fool. But God used that to preserve him and to preserve the people of God.

And so David pens Psalm 34. And let me tell you, I’ve really wrestled wit how Psalm 34 fits into this passage. Why is Peter so passionate about quoting these verses? Because he quoted it in chapter 2 as well and there are allusions to it throughout. Some believe this might even be an extended sermon on Psalm 34. I don’t quite see that, but I can understand why someone might think that. Psalm 34 clothes this entire passage. So why?

First, I believe Peter is using this to point to the principle from Psalm 34 that you never get right fruits from wrong roots. Always do good. That is the way that God blesses and not another. The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous…and his ears are open to their prayer.

This is so helpful, I think. It’s helpful because when we find ourselves in conflict with others things can get really cloudy. Our desires get in there. Their desires get in there. We wage war with one another and things get foggy. We start asking all the wrong questions. But this principle can stop us in our tracks. No matter what is going on, “How can I please God in this situation? How can I bless the other person?”

Secondly, I think he goes back to Psalm 34 for a reason. In Psalm 34 David says, “Those who look to him are radiant and their faces are never ashamed.” Wait, what? Dude, you just had spit running down your beard. You looked like a madman. You were so shameful that you caused the king to say, “we don’t need another crazy in our midst.” How can you possibly say, “their faces are never ashamed?”

And I think that’s what is happening for Peter’s audience. They are being dishonored. They are being reviled. They are losing face in their community. They are being considered the atheist who won’t bow to the gods and who are harming our crops and our fertility. Everything bad that happens all the shame goes back upon them. And so how might that message be helpful to Peter’s audience? How might it be helpful to us?

Because the message there is that even though you might lose face in the present, even though to the world you might look the fool, God is doing something and you will not ultimately be put to shame. But instead you will obtain a blessing. You will receive honor. And so live that way. Live as those who will ultimately receive the honor of the Lord. That means I don’t have to have it in the present. I can turn the other cheek. I don’t have to revile. I don’t have to repay you. Because I know the God of justice. And I know how the story plays out. So I can labor to bless you instead.

But lastly, I think we can see that Peter is doing something even greater with this passage. Peter changes the tenses in this verse. Why does he do that? Because this Psalm is ultimately fulfilled by Christ and it’s lived out by those of us who are IN Christ.

Christ is certainly the one who kept his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit. And so because of this we know that the eyes of the Lord are upon Him. God’s favor rests upon His Son. And if we are in Christ then His record is our record. And so what Peter is saying here is that THIS verse belongs to you. It is to this that you were called to obtain a blessing.

What he’s saying is that this blessing is yours and it’s already yours in Christ. This changes everything. All the greatest problems in the universe are already solved in the cross. Do we believe that? Do we believe that we don’t have to fight the battles that the world does—because we know King Jesus?

“For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil?” Apart from grace—apart from Christ we are those who do evil. That’s what Romans 3 proclaims. There is none righteous. We all do evil. And so that that principle from Psalm 34 means is that we don’t get “long life”. We don’t get “life”. We don’t inherit eternal life.

But Jesus Christ was fully and completely righteous. And he is the one who gets “eternal life”. That’s why you see him resurrected from the dead. It shows that God not only accepts his payment—that sin has been paid for—but it shows that Jesus Christ is fully and completely righteous. He inherits life. He obtains the blessing.

The good news of the gospel is that his record becomes our record. His work is credited to our account. And so in Christ we are righteous. That’s what Peter means when he says, “to this you were called.” To obtain a blessing. God called you to receive what Christ accomplished.

But there is an ethical implication to this. Our hearts have been so transformed that we are called to “seek peace and pursue it”. Maybe this is an area for us to repent in. Maybe this is where we might need to turn away from evil and do good. Have you been seeking peace? Have you been laboring to bless those you disagree with—those who revile you—those who seek to harm you?

This is the way of Christ. May we walk in it.