Defined by God

I struggled this year to land on a passage of scripture to share with you all this Father’s Day.

As a man and a father, I wanted to preach from proverbs on the importance of passing wisdom on to our children, and share how true wisdom is only from the Lord

I then thought it would be great to find an example of this done well and right, some examples of fathers in scripture...

Abraham… well that is a split family still dealing with the fallout of that one today

Jacob… not the best father, played favorites, sons tried to kill each other, even sold one brother as a slave

David… but he was an adulterer, and even murdered his best friend

Joseph… step dad to Jesus, but not much is known, and he even left his son behind when they left town

EVERY FATHER IS A MAN… EVERY FATHER LEADS

So often we as men look to other men to define how we should be as men… and so often this is embodied in the example of our fathers.

But we have a problem… we are lacking father’s (consider what the census bureau revealed)

Statistics consistently show that a father’s presence makes a big difference.... fatherlessness is considered the most influential family or social problem by almost 3 out of 4 people in our country. If this were a disease, our government and the media would label it an epidemic.

25% Of Kids Are Directly Affected — Approximately one in four children live without a father. This percentage has tripled since the 1960s.

Children from fatherless homes are exponentially more likely to have severe challenges in their lives.

High School Dropouts – 7 out of 10 dropouts grew up in fatherless homes.

Homelessness – 90% of homeless children and runaways are from fatherless homes.

Drug Dependency – 75% of adolescent drug rehabilitation patients are from homes without fathers.

Behavioral Problems – 85% of all children with behavioral problems come from fatherless homes.

Incarceration – 85% of youth in prison come from fatherless households and 70% of juveniles in state facilities have no father.

Sexual Assault – Four out of five rapists with anger problems come from homes without a father.

Anxiety, Depression, and Suicide – Fatherless children are more likely to face depression, and their suicide rate is double 63% of youths who commit suicide are fatherless.

Pregnancy – 71% of pregnant teens don’t have their father and almost four times as likely than those from father-present households. (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services)

Problems in infancy – Infants are at four times greater risk of infant mortality without their fathers. Little ones with fathers have higher sociability, confidence, and self-control.

We see it as an issue in our nation today, yet when you look at the church… we see similar issues! We are seeing a greater attack on the role of the father, the role of men in our society and it is flowing into the church with force.

If we continue to define fatherhood or manhood based off of examples where will we be in another 60 years? The odds are not in favor of a good outcome…

We can no longer allow the world or other men to define what a man is we must define this by the creator of man… God Himself and His Word!

***To take on Fatherhood / Father Figure… You are taking on a ROLE and RESPONSIBILITY!***

CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING CHARACTER QUALITIES OF A MAN OF GOD in our passage today from 1 Timothy 3:1-7

1 Timothy 3:1–7 NASB95

It is a trustworthy statement: if any man aspires to the office of overseer, it is a fine work he desires to do. An overseer, then, must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, prudent, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not addicted to wine or pugnacious, but gentle, peaceable, free from the love of money. He must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity (but if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?), and not a new convert, so that he will not become conceited and fall into the condemnation incurred by the devil. And he must have a good reputation with those outside the church, so that he will not fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.

...if any man aspires to the office of overseer, it is a fine work he desires to do.

A noble task or honorable position

This statement was already well used in the church and Paul affirms that for the man of God to pursue this is noble, honorable, a good desire

I appreciate Gene Getz observation on this verse here. He states: First, Paul implied that any Christian man could seek this role. There was no special, divine calling associated with this task. Second, the primary criterion for selection and approval was maturity in Jesus Christ.

As we look at the following criteria we are looking at what God considers to be a mature man of God… NOT PERFECT, but rather mature and maturing in Christ.

HE MUST BE ABOVE REPROACH

Good reputation

Above criticism in the way he speaks or sound words which no one can criticize

Consider how our words impact… are they reflecting God’s Word

HUSBAND OF ONE WIFE

A one woman man!

Men, Father’s there is no greater way to show yourself above reproach and as a man of God that to love one woman… your wife!

It is our opportunity to demonstrate to our children and the world Christ love and commitment to His bride the church!

This is amazing for a man’s reputation, yet TRADE the morality of this for immorality and there is nothing like it to destroy a man’s reputation either

As fathers one of the greatest blessings we can give our children is to love our wives as Christ loved the church!

BE TEMPERATE

Not one given to anger, he is stable and steadfast

Sober minded clear thinking in how he respond and reacts

PRUDENT

Sensible or moderate

Greek= (SOUND OF MIND) giving your actions thought

One who has self-control of ones actions and reactions

RESPECTABLE

Titus 2:10 gives a beautiful usage of this word …

Titus 2:10 NASB95

not pilfering, but showing all good faith so that they will adorn the doctrine of God our Savior in every respect.

ADORN= our English word cosmetics comes from this word

We should “put on” the gospel or make the gospel attractive by the way we live our lives

HOSPITABLE

How do you use your material blessing (home, food, material blessings) to meet others needs

Are we demonstrating a selfishness or outward helping/hospitality

ABLE TO TEACH

Ha! this is for elders not deacons… true, but we are also speaking to fathers today

Men, YOU are the spiritual leaders of your home, God does and will hold YOU accountable for how you lead and teach His teachings in your home

Train a child in the way he should go (proverbs)

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 is very clear…

Deuteronomy 6:6–7 NASB95

“These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. “You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.

YOUR HEART FIRST… cannot teach what you do not know.

NOT ADDICTED TO WINE

Addition in any form is NOT fitting of the man of God

A man of God should show and demonstrate self-control… ADDICTION is giving up that control

We are called to be filled with the Spirit

Drunkenness destroys homes, families marriages

NOT PUGNACIOUS

Not violent

Not angry and out of control (hand in hand with drunkeness)

…BUT GENTLE

Gracious, merciful, forbearing

A great example is the coach I spoke of last week TONY DUNGY

These are the traits of our God and Savior… this does NOT constitute WEAKNESS!!!

PEACEABLE

Avoids sharp disputes and arguments, does not engage in harsh debates

Seeks to bring peace, rather than discord

Men, this is our responsibility in the home too!

FREE FROM THE LOVE OF MONEY

Not free from it but the love of it

How do you handle your riches?

Do others and especially your children understand it ALL belongs to God!?

How is your financial stewardship of His funds He allows you to manage?

He must be one who manages his own household well!

Men we are called to manage, lead our homes well!

God will hold us men accountable for this

This in God’s eyes is a measurement or standard by which a man would be looked at in order to lead the family of God

NOT A NEW CONVERT

This is speaking to the role of an Overseer or Elder

It is setting the man up for a great attack by the enemy

Fathers… as we raise our children in the Lord we are able to train, mentor them as they decide to follow Christ

He must have a good reputation with those outside the church

A man’s reputation in his home, in his church, in his community should be the same.

A man of integrity= doing the right thing no mater who or who is not watching!

Consistency in a man’s life… you know he is who he is because he behaves this way for an AUDIENCE OF ONE!!!

MEN OF GOD HAVE ETERNAL IMPACT!!!

We need fathers to be “Men of God”!

We need fathers to be Spiritual leaders in their homes!

We need fathers to pursue the characteristics God has set before us today...

You will then impact your homes

You will then impact your church

you will then impact this world for the Gospel of Jesus Christ!

MEN… let us rise to the occasion and strive to be better men of God!