More than Bad Jokes

The secret everyone knows

Men have feelings too. I know that sounds like a silly thing to say, I know that for some there is a stereo type of what a man is or what a dad is. The idea of what a man and dad is has been evolving throughout the years.

Men don’t cry…except they do…men are strong…except when they are not…men have to be emotionless…except that we are full of emotion…you get the idea. The worst part about it is we as men attempt so many times to live up to unrealistic expectations, choosing to believe the things that we are supposed to be based on what we have heard, or what we see.

In the past 25 years or so another narrative has emerged and has caused an entire generation of men and fathers to believe another lie about who and what they are. I call it the Dad is a Doofus problem This idea of the incompetent man child that only cares about food, and beer, sports and video games. That is constantly being manipulated and put down by the people in their house. This reduces men to nothing more than someone that brings in a paycheck and has little to no reason to interact .

But here’s the thing. Most people know and realize that these things are not accurate. That men do cry that they are afraid sometimes, that there are days when we are not strong. People know it and we know it but we don’t like to accept it. I would also venture to guess that people don’t want the doofus dad. Families as a whole want meaningful interactions, they want connection they want to feel wanted and loved. So the question to ask is..

What does a good man look like?

It follows that if you are a good man the character of a Good dad and father will be easier to develop. Solomon wrote to his son throughout Proverbs. Passing down important truths that would, if followed not only stand the test of time, but would also allow for him to grow and mature into a Godly man.

A good man listens and learns.

Proverbs 3:1–2 HCSB

My son, don’t forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commands; for they will bring you many days, a full life, and well-being.

A Good man spends more time listening to those around them that are wise. He hears and applies the wisdom to his activities of daily living. He recognizes that sometimes the person that has gone before him probably has some sense of an idea of how life works. Will they always get it right now but a good man is able to recognize and act on what they have heard and made a part of their life.

A good man is true

Proverbs 3:3–4 HCSB

Never let loyalty and faithfulness leave you. Tie them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will find favor and high regard in the sight of God and man.

Loyalty and Faithfulness while these two words are similar the original Hebrew does something really interesting.

The Hebrew for Loyalty is חֶ֫סֶד He_Sed meaning Loyalty, joint obligation, faithfulness, goodness, graciousness, Godly Action.

The Hebrew for Faithfulness is אֱמֶת Emet meaning firmness, trustworthiness, constancy, duration, faithfulness, truth.

Notice that each of these words have words in common but also add and support each other. The bottom line is that in order to have the kind of favor and character that both God and Man can point to and say “hey that’s someone I want to know.” you need to be a all of those things and it needs to be more than something you put on in the morning when you walk out the door and then take off again when you get home.

If we change our character like we change out of our work clothes, then we are missing the point in what it means to be a good man and then by extension a good father. (do as I say not as I do illustration)

A Good man knows the source of his goodness

Proverbs 3:5–6 HCSB

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding; think about Him in all your ways, and He will guide you on the right paths.

It’s okay to say help. It may be hard but it’s okay. It’s okay to trust in fact we are told to lean into God and not on what we think and how we would do it. (expound hit the ideas of what we turn to first in times of joy, or sorrow, or crisis, or fear)

Notice it doesn't say think about him in all the ways that you’re not competent… (expound)

A Good man doesn’t get the Big Head

Proverbs 3:7–8 HCSB

Don’t consider yourself to be wise; fear the Lord and turn away from evil. This will be healing for your body and strengthening for your bones.

The quickest and easiest way to fail is to think you can’t. I can handle it is probably one of the biggest lies that we tell ourselves and others. Sure some things you can handle but there are so many things you can’t.. more go in the can’t handle it column that in the yeah i got this column.

Look what it says…Fear the Lord turn from evil this is where heath and strength comes from..This is what it means to be a Good Man and A good father....

This Week’s Challenge

Write a note to a man who has had a significant impact on your life. Send it in the mail or text it or an email. Make it more than thanks. Be specific. If you don’t have a man that has had a significant impact. Then write that same note to a strong woman that has had an impact. Then give them a call and tell them thanks and say a prayer with them.