Wise Speech

You know what is one of the things we love about our dads?

As much as we groan, we can’t get enough of bad puns and those pithy one-liners.

When I think of a character who depicts that, I can’t help but think about the only person who ever deserved to represent James Bond, which is of course Sean Connery.

He had that smooth, debonair demeanor where he could walk away from an explosion and wrap it up in a smooth sentence.

You might think of Clint Eastwood uttering one of Dirty Harry’s famous lines, like, “A man’s gotta know his limitations.”

Maybe you think of movie characters who said very little, but their every word mattered…folks like Yoda, Mr. Miyagi, and people like that.

You know what we admire more than those movie characters and their well-scripted lines?

The wise men we have known in our life who didn’t say much, but when they did speak, everyone leaned in to hear what they had to say because they knew it was important.

Have you ever been around someone like that? Someone who was usually quiet and overlooked, but if you asked what they were thinking or for their opinion, you knew what they were saying was worth paying attention to.

What we will see this morning is that this is exactly the kind of person God is calling you and me to be—men and women who guard our words and speak with wisdom that comes from hearts that have God-given understanding.

We will see that from Proverbs 17:27-18:4, so go ahead and open up to those passages.

As we have been looking through the book of Proverbs, we have been seeing that true wisdom only comes from God.

We are called to seek God’s wisdom by praying, asking him for it, and following what he says.

As we gain more wisdom, we develop greater trust in the Lord, which leads us to greater surrender and seeing him guide and direct our paths.

Now, we want to pick up a major theme in the book and look at how that wisdom impacts our words.

We could look at any number of parts of the book to find instructions about our words, but we are going to be here in chapter 17 this morning.

If I could challenge you to this morning to do one thing, it would be this: make your words matter.

We see this in our passage this morning, so let’s start reading in 17:27...

At first glance, these verses seem a little disjointed. In fact, I didn’t put them together until I saw how the writers of the New American Commentary broke out this passage.

As we go through this passage, we are going to see four ways to apply the wisdom God gives to the way that we speak.

First, we need to..

1) Say less than you know.

Go back to 17:27.

This gets more interesting the more you think about it.

At first, you see the idea that you should stay quiet and not talk all the time, which is certainly one of the main parts of this command.

Solomon says that elsewhere in Proverbs like this:

Proverbs 10:19 CSB

When there are many words, sin is unavoidable, but the one who controls his lips is prudent.

Other translations say “sin will not cease.”

It’s been referred to as the principle of the hole: Once you’re in it, you stop digging!

The more you talk, the greater the likelihood you will say something that isn’t just stupid, it’s sinful. If you keep going, you are just going to make it worse, so just stop!

That’s why James would take this from a concept to a command and say:

James 1:19 CSB

My dear brothers and sisters, understand this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger,

I have heard someone express that same idea, “God gave you two ears and one mouth. Use them proportionately.” (Listen at least twice as much as you speak!)

Wise speech comes from someone who listens well, doesn’t respond quickly, and doesn’t get angry easily.

Notice, though, that this is more than just being quiet, because even a fool can do that much. Look at verse 28.

The difference between a fool’s silence and a wise person’s restraint is that the wise person actually knows more than he is letting on.

The one who has knowledge is the one who restrains his words. He doesn’t tell everything he thinks he knows. She doesn’t try to prove that she is the smartest one in the room or the one with the insider knowledge.

Instead, the wise person understands that they don’t have to say everything that comes into their head!

If you are like me and have a personality that is geared towards talking and being outgoing, this can be a really difficult thing to do.

If you thrive off what other people think of you, you will always want to be in the middle of everything and prove how smart you are by talking about what you know.

So, how do you learn to say less than you know?

As you seek after God’s wisdom, learning from his word, getting to know him better, and obeying him more, you grow in your understanding of who you are in Christ.

You see, the message of the Bible is that God loves you so much that he would send his own son to die in your place so your sins could be removed and he could adopt you into his very family.

If you have a relationship with Christ, then you can actually call the God who created the universe your Father today, and it isn’t irreverent or wrong.

Not only that, but you stand before God justified, declared righteous, and so much more.

If that’s true, then you don’t need to worry about what others think and how they feel about you—you have nothing left to prove.

Wise speech is restrained, not getting us into sin by talking too much about things we don’t understand or trying to prove we are the smartest in the room.

Wise speech doesn’t stop there, though. The second way wisdom make our words count is by calling us to...

2) Avoid playing devil’s advocate.

Look at 18:1...

At first, it doesn’t look like this verse has much to do with words.

However, if you see how other versions translate this phrase, you see that “rebel[ling] against sound wisdom” is often verbal.

Proverbs 18:1 NASB95

He who separates himself seeks his own desire, He quarrels against all sound wisdom.

The picture here is of a man or woman who is constantly opposed to things. Some would describe an individual like this a “contrarian,” because they are known for being contrary to whatever others think.

It is true that wisdom will often go against the majority opinion, and it is true that it is wise to investigate opposing viewpoints, but that doesn’t mean your life should be defined by being the only one to stand on this position every time.

In doing so, you isolate yourself. It is ultimately based off selfish desires to do your own thing, to stand out, or to be off on your own.

That isn’t wisdom; in fact, it is the rejection of what is actually wise.

When you stand in opposition without good reason, you are rejecting godly wisdom.

Remember what we saw two weeks ago about what defined godly wisdom?

James 3:17 CSB

But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peace-loving, gentle, compliant, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without pretense.

It isn’t selfishly trying to prove yourself right and others wrong. Instead, godly wisdom seeks peace and relationships with others, not isolation.

What do we need to examine in our speech, then, to see if this is us?

Think back to the last several times when you were part of a discussion that was contentious. Maybe it was in person around the office, church, or home. Maybe it was online.

Can you take an honest look back at why you defended the position you defended? Was it from a heart that was pursuing genuine peace that was based on truth, or was it just because you didn’t like what everyone else was saying?

Going back to our previous point, was it because you wanted everyone to see how smart you were, so you just defended the position you started with because you didn’t want to back down and show weakness?

That’s not wise speech, and it will backfire.

Want to know how I know? Look at verse 18:3...

You see, if you aren’t acting out of godly wisdom, you are acting wickedly. What does that bring?

Contempt—people aren’t impressed; they don’t like you.

Dishonor—they don’t think you are smart; they think you are a jerk.

Derision—they will probably make fun of you.

Again, wisdom does stand for what is true, and that often pushes back against the majority opinion.

However, it isn’t just because we don’t want to be like everyone else, it is based off a desire to see true peace that comes from truth.

Wise speech is restrained speech that doesn’t fight just to fight.

Along those same lines, we see that if we are going to cultivate wise speech, we must also...

3) Be slow to share your opinion.

Read 18:2 with me again...

When Solomon picks up his teaching about fools again, he moves us a little farther forward.

Back in 17:28, he said that even a fool is thought to be wise so long as he keeps his mouth shut.

What do we see here, though? Although the fool would do well to keep his mouth shut, he just can’t help voicing his opinion!

Notice the contrast here: he doesn’t care about whether or not he understands the issue fully, he just wants everyone to know that he has an opinion about it!

We see this all the time in our world, especially on social media and the news.

In fact, the word for it now is a “hot take”—where someone has to weigh in on an issue quickly, likely without thinking it through, and often in a way that they are intentionally offending people.

Facebook, Twitter, and the like have given any person the ability to share their opinion with potentially thousands of people.

Before you start thinking you are better than everyone else because you don’t share stuff like that, or you aren’t on social media, remember when this proverb was written: about 2900 years before the invention of the internet.

As a people, we have always been prone to caring more that we are heard than that we are right!

The internet may have magnified it, but the root issue has always been there.

We don’t slow down to pray, to listen, to seek God’s direction through his word and his Spirit applying it to our lives.

We don’t ask God to search our hearts to see if there is something in us that is blinding us to what is true.

Instead, we rush to a conclusion so we don’t have to wrestle with it anymore and we can prove that we are in the know.

Want to start cultivating wisdom here?

First, start by realizing you might not know as much as you think you do.

Second, put it into practice: next time you are in a discussion, don’t give your opinion on the thing being talked about. Just don’t! Restrain your words, don’t get into a fight, and just keep listening unless someone asks your opinion directly.

Try this even if you disagree with what they are saying. You might be surprised what you find out, and you won’t look like an idiot by reaching a conclusion without enough information.

Wisdom calls us to restraint, not being contrarian for the sake of a good fight, and not voicing our opinion every time.

Don’t act in a wicked way and sin in your words, isolating yourself with selfishness and pride.

With all that said, then, does that mean that we should take a vow of silence and never say another word?

Not at all.

If we are walking in wise speech, we will find that at times, we must...

4) Weigh in when you have wisdom to share.

Look back at 18:4.

Solomon bookends this section by again telling us what the wise do. He has told us about the fool and the wicked, now he returns to the wise.

He says that this person’s words are like life giving water.

You see, the wise man or woman might not say much, but when they do, it is worth listening to.

Solomon says their words are like deep waters, a flowing river, and a fountain of wisdom.

What does that mean?

Just think about the beauty of the imagery for a moment. Wise speech is like a deep, refreshing pool; like a powerful, flowing wisdom, and like a bubbling fountain that overflows.

The wise woman and man speak words that come from deep study, reflection, and communion with God. The truth they speak flows fluently from their mouths in an undeniably powerful way. Like a fountain, the overflow of their relationship with God splashes out of them and into the world around them.

That’s the kind of person we spoke about in the introduction.

I am afraid that our noisy world often drowns out their voices, so many of us may go a long time before we really encounter someone who speaks with that kind of wisdom.

About 18 months ago, I was around a man named Clyde Meador. He just retired from the International Mission Board for the second or third time. He was the speaker at a conference I attended, and I was able to sit at a lunch table with him.

The wisdom he shared and displayed, both during his talk and around the table, was measured and tempered by a life of walking with Jesus in extraordinary circumstances.

When he spoke, it was with this sense of gravitas—a quiet strength without pretense or arrogance.

I wrote down as much as I could about what he said, because you simply had a sense that this man spoke out of a true heart of godly wisdom.

If I sat down with you today and had a conversation, would I walk away with that same sense about you?

By the way, I had to ask these questions of myself as I was writing this message, and I know I have a great deal of room to grow.

Would I walk away frustrated because you didn’t seem to listen? Would it seem like all you were doing was waiting for me to stop talking so you could show off what you know and impress me with your hot take on the events and affairs of the world?

Can you imagine how much the world around us would be impacted if we would cultivate patterns of wise speech?

We would be able to pursue lasting relationships with people who disagreed with us because we would genuinely hear what they had to say.

We could allow others to grow and flourish as we let them work through thorny thoughts without heading them off with our knowledge and opinion.

We wouldn’t bring shame to the name of Christ as we slow down and respond thoughtfully instead of react quickly to what we see take place.

We would be able to make an impact with our words as people lean in and recognize that there is something different about the way we look at life.

Let’s commit to make our words matter.

Remember: it all comes back to Jesus.

He is the foundation of our lives that gives us the acceptance and approval we try to find from others.

By surrendering to him, we receive access to the Spirit of God, who transforms our hearts and our minds to walk in wisdom more and more as we grow.

He is the lens through which we look at life, balancing the different opinions we hear to reach a point of understanding.

Ultimately, he is the wisdom to which we point—we aren’t being reductionistic or simplistic, but surrendering to the Lordship of Christ is the ultimate solution for every problem we are confronted with.

Make your words matter this week.