Characteristics of a Good Godly Father

Introduction

Good morning Church!

I want to thank each and every one of you for coming out and joining us this Lord’s Day!

As everyone knows, today is Father’s Day and to commemorate Father’s Day, we’re going to take a little break from the Book of Acts and look at a Father’s Day message.

The title of today’s message is…Characteristics of a Good Godly Father.

When looking at how to be a good, Godly Father where else better to look than our good, good Father who is God, Amen?

What I want us to look at this morning, for a few brief moments in time are 3 characteristics of a good, Godly father that when expressed, will set a good example for our kids to follow!

At a 1994 Promise Keepers' conference in Denton, Texas, pastor James Ryle told his story:

When he was two years old, his father was sent to prison. When he was seven, authorities placed him in an orphanage. At nineteen, he had a car wreck that killed a friend. He sold drugs to raise money for his legal fee, and the law caught up to him. He was arrested, charged with a felony, and sent to prison.

While in prison James accepted Christ, and after he served his time, he eventually went into the ministry.

Years later he sought out his father to reconcile with him. When they got together, the conversation turned to prison life.

James's father asked, "Which prison were you in?" James told him, and his father was taken aback. "I helped build that prison," he said. He had been a welder who went from place to place building penitentiaries.

Pastor Ryle concluded, "I was in the prison my father built." — 1001 Quotes, Illustrations, and Humorous Stories

This morning we need to understand as Father’s that our children are looking up to us to see what we’re going to do, how we’re going to act and react and if we intend on setting the best example for them to follow, we need to be following the best example we have ourselves which is God the Father!

If you have your Bible’s with you this morning, I would ask you to turn with me to the Book of Matthew Chapter 3 and we’re going to begin by looking at Verse 17.

Before we get into this message though, I want to start by saying that this message is as much for me as it is anyone else.

I’m not a perfect father. I make mistakes. Just on the way to Church this morning I lost my cool over something and acted in a way unbecoming a father figure and had to apologize to my wife, my daughter and my son.

So when I say this message is as much for me this morning as it is anyone, trust me I mean that.

But there are some great truths in this message that I truly believe can be applied to every father sitting here this morning and not just father’s but I’d dare say there’s something here for everyone in attendance.

Matthew 3:17 if you have it would you say, amen.

A Good, Godly Father Loves

The first characteristic I want us to look at this morning is this…A Good, Godly Father Loves.

And the question we need to ask ourselves as Father’s is this...

How can I express my love for my children in such a way that they see God in me?

Now, as I was thinking about this, I believe there’s 3 ways to accomplish this.

1. By Caring

Matthew 3:17 — And lo a voice from heaven, saying, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.

As Jesus comes up out of the water here, God the Father speaks from Heaven above and Jesus hears what are probably the sweetest words He ever heard during His time here on earth.

The Father says, “This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.”

The word “beloved” here is (agapētos) and it’s used to indicate someone is dearly loved or valued.

God was saying to all the world here, “This is my Son who I love with all my heart! This is my pride and joy! I care about him very deeply and he means the world to me!”

As I thought about that definition…someone who is dearly loved or valued, this is the thought that crossed my mind....there’s no greater way to express to our children how much we care for them and value them than by telling them we love them!

The Father expresses to the world here His love for His Son by telling Him and a Good, Godly Father ought to do the same thing!

When was the last time you took 2 seconds and simply told your children you loved them?

A Good, Godly Father expresses his love for his children by caring for them and secondly, one of the best ways to show them you care for them is By Connecting with them.

2. By Connecting

Matthew 3:17 — And lo a voice from heaven, saying, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.

God says also here is this same sentence, “This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.”

He says a couple words here that stood out to me when thinking about this....he says, “my” & “in whom”.

When I was thinking about the phrase, “in whom I am well pleased” I began to think…the reason He was able to say “in whom” was because He had been involved in Jesus life!

He had been watching Him learn and grow, He had been steering Him in the right direction, He had been taking account of His actions.

He had actively been taking part in Jesus life By Connecting with Him!

So many Fathers now days are absent when it comes to their children’s lives! And I’ll be the first to say that this is an area where I have had to learn to better job as well!

Yeah, we get up and go to work and earn a paycheck for the family but let’s just be honest, when it comes to the day to day activities of our kid’s lives, I’d dare say there are some of us sitting here this morning, myself included, who need to do a better job!

Some fathers have nothing to do with their children!

They leave the connecting and the parenting up to the mother and all this does is causes a disconnect!

This is one reason I believe we’re seeing so much disregard for authority in the world we’re living in now days!

And we wonder why these teenagers and young adults and even older adults are in the streets rioting and looting and burning businesses down and vandalizing and just simply acting like hooligans!

Chances are, it’s because the majority of them probably didn’t have a father figure in their lives and even if they did have, the father either wasn’t a Godly man or wasn’t very involved in their lives.

Statistics tell us that...

· 90% of homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes.

· 80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes.

· 71% of pregnant teenagers lack a father.

· 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes.

· 85% of children who exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes.

· 90% of adolescent repeat arsonists live with only their mother.

· 71% of high school dropouts come from fatherless homes.

· 75% of adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes.

· 70% of juveniles in state operated institutions have no father.

· 85% of youths in prisons grew up in a fatherless home.

Fatherless boys and girls are: twice as likely to drop out of high school; twice as likely to end up in jail; four times more likely to need help for emotional or behavioral problems.

Listen, God created the family with a male and a female for a reason!

He knew that children needed a father figure in their lives!

Men, our children need us!

Now, you may be sitting here and saying well I’m a Godly man and I raised my children in Church and taught them right from wrong but they still ended up going astray!

Listen, there will always be exceptions to the rule. Adam and Eve started out with Cain and Able. I’m sure they raised them the same way but one turned out to be a murderer!

The seed of sin that lies within every man can only be tamed by one thing and that is God!

You can be the greatest mother or father in the world but if your child decides in his/her heart that there is no God and determines that they will live their own way, then the only thing you can do is pray for them and continue to be a light and example of God to them in your walk of life!

Studies show though the more you insert yourself into their lives as children the greater chance you will have that they will turn out like you!

The study went on to say this:

· Children with involved, loving fathers are significantly more likely to do well in school, have healthy self-esteem, exhibit empathy and pro-social behavior, and avoid high-risk behaviors such as drug use, truancy, and criminal activity compared to children who have uninvolved fathers.

· Studies on parent-child relationships and child wellbeing show that a father’s love is an important factor in predicting the social, emotional, and cognitive development and functioning of children and young adults.

A young man was to be sentenced to the penitentiary for committing forgery. The judge had known him from childhood, for he was well acquainted with his father, a famous legal scholar and the author of an exhaustive study entitled The Law of Trusts. “Do you remember your father?” asked the magistrate. “I remember him well, your honor,” came the reply. Then trying to probe the offender's conscience, the judge said, “As you are about to be sentenced, and as you think of your wonderful dad, what do you remember most clearly about him?” There was a pause; then the judge received an answer he had not expected. “I remember, sir, when I went to him for advice, he looked up at me from the book he was writing and said, ‘Run along, boy, I'm busy!' When I went to him for companionship, he turned me away, saying, ‘Run along, son; this book must be finished!' Your honor, you remember him as a great lawyer; I remember him as a lost friend.” The magistrate muttered to himself, “Alas! Finished the book, but lost the boy!” — TSN

Don’t ever think that time spent with your children is wasted.

Charles Adams, the son of President John Adams, wrote in his diary one day: “Went fishing with my son today—a day wasted.” The boy, however, had a different perspective on the day. The entry in his diary for that date reads: “Went fishing with my father—the most wonderful day of my life.” — TSN

Father’s show your love to your children this morning By Connecting with them! One great way to connect is By Cheering & Complimenting.

3. By Cheering & Complimenting

Matthew 3:17 — And lo a voice from heaven, saying, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.

The Father lets the world know here that He’s proud of His Son!

Listen, don’t we all enjoy uplifting and encouraging words?

When a job is well done, don’t we all enjoy a compliment?

When we were kids and playing games was there anything better than hearing your parents cheer you on?

One of the best ways we can connect with our kids is to be their biggest fans!

Let them know you are proud of them when they do a good job.

Let them know that you are thankful for them.

Encourage them and uplift them and help them understand that with God, all things are possible!

I came across a very sad story I wanted to share with you concerning the affirmation we give our kids.

Several years ago in Louisiana, a motorist saw something hanging from a tree. When he stopped to investigate, he found that it was the body of a young teenaged boy. There was no identification on the body. There was nothing but a note that said, in part, “Dear Mom and Dad, I am sorry I was an embarrassment to you.” — TSN

Pastor Alan Carr — Children need constant affirmation from their parents and will usually live up to your estimate of their worth!

They will usually live up to your estimate of their worth!

Let that sink in this morning parents!

How much do your children think you think of them?

When was the last time you told your son or your daughter you were proud of the young man or woman they had become.

Or maybe their like mine and they’re younger…when was the last time you just simply told them you were proud of them?

A Good Godly Father is his children’s biggest fan!

A Good Godly Father Loves his children…and he expresses that love verbally by Caring for them…he expresses his Care for them by Connecting with them....and he Connects with them by Cheering them on and Complimenting them.

Not only does a Good Godly Father Love his family but Good Godly Father Leads his family.

A Good, Godly Father Leads

And just as there were 3 ways a Good, Godly Father Loves, I also believe there’s 3 ways a Good, Godly Father Leads.

1. By Championing His Family

What I mean by Championing His Family is a good, Godly Father leads by example.

Paul told young Titus in...

Titus 2:6-8 (TEV) — 6 In the same way urge the young men to be self-controlled. 7 In all things you yourself must be an example of good behavior. Be sincere and serious in your teaching. 8 Use sound words that cannot be criticized, so that your enemies may be put to shame by not having anything bad to say about us.

Deuteronomy 4:9 — Only take heed to thyself, and keep thy soul diligently, lest thou forget the things which thine eyes have seen, and lest they depart from thy heart all the days of thy life: but teach them thy sons, and thy sons' sons;

Deuteronomy 6:4-9 — 4 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD: 5 And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. 6 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: 7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. 8 And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. 9 And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.

Father’s, many of us have this mentality today of “do not as I do but as I say do” and I’m here to tell you this morning it’s for the birds! Haven’t you ever heard the old adage “monkey see, monkey do?”

Your children are going to imitate what they see you do!

They’ll talk how you talk!

They’ll walk how you walk!

They’ll act how you act!

They’ll work how you work!

They’ll treat people how you treat people!

And they’ll serve God how they see you served God!

What kind of example are you setting for your children?

This morning, I wasn’t setting the best example for my children and I had to pull them aside when we got here and apologize and explain to them that I wasn’t setting the best example when I lost my cool. This is something I personally have to work on myself.

A Good Godly Father Leads by Championing His Family! He also leads by Correcting and Counseling His children.

2. By Correcting & Counseling

Proverbs 22:6 (KJV) — Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 22:6 (TEV) — Teach children how they should live, and they will remember it all their life.

Fathers, it’s not the Preachers job to train your children. It’s not the Sunday School Teacher’s job to train your children. Fathers, it’s our job to train our children!

The problem today, which goes back to the Connecting section we looked at earlier, is many parents rely on everyone but themselves to raise their children and teach them right from wrong!

Men this is our job! This is what God has created and prepared us to do!

Ephesians 6:4 (NLT2) — Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.

Fathers, it’s our duty to train our children, to teach our children, to discipline and instruct them in the ways of God!

The problem today is everybody says oh you’re being to hard on them. Or you shouldn’t physically discipline your children!

Proverbs 13:24 (NLT2) — Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.

Proverbs 19:18 (KJV) — Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.

Proverbs 19:18 (TEV) — Discipline your children while they are young enough to learn. If you don't, you are helping them destroy themselves.

What parent wants to see their children suffer? Listen, by not disciplining your children you are doing them more harm than help!

Proverbs 23:13 (TEV) — Don't hesitate to discipline children. A good spanking won't kill them.

Proverbs 29:15,17 (TEV) — 15 Correction and discipline are good for children. If they have their own way, they will make their mothers ashamed of them. 17 Discipline your children and you can always be proud of them. They will never give you reason to be ashamed.

There’s one thing I can assure you of this morning and that is this, if we don’t train our children up in the ways of God, this world sure won’t do it for us!

We must lead by Championing and we must lead by Correcting and Counseling them and lastly, we must lead them By showing Compassion.

3. By showing Compassion

Martin Luther — Keep an apple beside the rod to give the child when he does well.

Listen, let’s be honest…who enjoys disciplining their children?

None of us like grabbing a belt and wearing our kids out now do we?

Why? Because it hurts them and they are ours and we love them and because we love them the last thing we want to do is hurt them but we understand that if we don’t correct them we’re actually hurting and loving them less, right?

So what must we do?

We must correct but then we must have compassion and reaffirm our love to them.

My parents used to say, “this hurts me more than it hurts you” and I used to think to myself, “there’s no way! Let me use that belt on you a few times and then tell me it hurts you more than me!”

But you know…now that I have kids, I understand completely what they meant!

It hurts me when I have to discipline my kids and especially when you have one like Keaton and when he was a little fellow, it never failed, as soon as you’d get done whipping him he’d go, “daddy I love you” and I mean it would break my heart!

But I knew I had to or he’d never learn!

As soon as he used to do that I’d tell him I loved him too and then I’d reiterate to him not to do the thing that got him in trouble in the first place and he’d always say, “ok daddy.”

Listen the Bible says in...

Psalm 145:8 — The LORD is gracious, and full of compassion; slow to anger, and of great mercy.

Lamentations 3:22 — It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.

Compassion is a vital when it comes to leading your family in a Godly manner!

So we see that a Good Godly Father Loves and Leads and lastly this morning, a Good, Godly Father Leaves Behind a Legacy.

A Good, Godly Father Leaves Behind a Legacy for Christ

How do you leave behind a legacy for Christ?

Well, first of all it starts...

1. By Choosing Christ

Come Follow Me

Matthew 9:9 — And as Jesus passed forth from thence, he saw a man, named Matthew, sitting at the receipt of custom: and he saith unto him, Follow me. And he arose, and followed him.

It’s very simple this morning Fathers.

The only way you can ever be a Good, Godly Father is if you follow the example set forth by God Himself and the only way you can have a relationship with God almighty is if you have a relationship with His dear Son!

1 John 2:23 KJV 1900

23 Whosoever denieth the Son, the same hath not the Father: (but) he that acknowledgeth the Son hath the Father also.

First and foremost, if you want to leave behind a legacy for Christ, you have to know Christ as Lord!

Secondly, once you choose to make Jesus Christ your Lord, then you have to follow His lead!

2. By Choosing to follow Christ

Luke 9:23 — And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.

This is one of the hardest things for us men to do because we are so independent!

But we must learn to follow Christ’s lead.

Deny yourself and follow Christ!

And lastly, if you want to leave a legacy for Christ, you must choose to follow His commandments!

3. By Choosing to follow Christ’s Commandments

John 14:15 — If ye love me, keep my commandments.