Coventry June 21st Fathers Day

Ricky I know you never cease to amaze me before we go any further. I think it's kind of amazing that today Dale and Daddy are actually with us Dale was the first man that I actually ever said under as a Believer and I remember Brayden a young guy. He called him Pastor Dale cuz he couldn't pronounce pastor and his few weeks ago bring got married and now they lit out of here. Now, you have to listen to me speak. This is your fault.

So what is a man ladies? What else is a man? I thought you're raising your hand like not yet. Ladies, what's a man young women? What's a man?

Alright willing to protect. provide guide

well, I'm out.

guys What makes a man?

Okay, that's beat when is that happen?

Please go on.

Absolutely. Absolutely. Anything else? What else? What else do you think of a man?

Absolutely. When I give this message four years ago. There is a Amanda church that had a Harley it was beautiful. I can't stand Harley's. I'd rather have a crotch rocket, but he had a Harley he brought it in and I had it up on front of the stage and had a bunch of other things up here and I'm like, you know, this is what our world today does the measure of a man is if you have a motorcycle.

If you're big and Burly, you're a man. If you talk bad about women are mad if you beat them into submission, you're a man. That's what I world. Today is saying. Because our world is also Terry middle part men are bad men are horrible. They're bunch of dirty rotten people. What is what is the measure of a man going to look at today? How do we measure? men the scripture that he gets get out of that. David's Towing foaming be spiritually strong This is a hard one today be spiritually strong men. As I stand up here and I can go through this tonight and I speak about this and and I look at different things it it gets to me. Like where have I failed? That one thing that I think is amazing with What the Lord Has Done and what he says he tells us to strive for Perfection, but he never looks down on us when we are not perfect.

And there are some people today who will look down on you if you're not perfect. Their husbands and wives that are constant argument are getting divorced because you're not perfect. But if we all have the Lord in our lives, we understand the imperfections. Amen.

where to be obedient Now this is different for every single person and we have really got the grass this. There are some people that the Lord chose just to go to work and be a testimony there other people that the Lord has chosen to be in Ministry and actually share his word there other people that said that he's go to work and spread his word. Every person is different and just because they don't fall in the line that you think it should be doesn't mean it's wrong. We have got to get that through our heads. We are not Mini-Me. We are not little people that robots to go around and everybody's the same. You know, how boring this world would be if it was that way. We have to be faithful.

We have to be faithful in the Lord Jesus Christ. If the Lord calling us to do something we better do it. The Lord is telling us not to do something. We ought not do it.

I meant I didn't have a talk to her yet. But I know she's not going to really care because she's used to me talking about our kids and it's about Aubrey. We just got back. We got back from Michigan a few weeks ago. Of course, we all missed Michigan our friends or their families there and just got married and I could be a grandpa and like 11 months or so. We're all trying to figure out when that's going to be and it's it's hard for me to be away knowing that I could be a grandpa and then I look around this room and hundred thousands of miles away in. Monica. Same thing Dale and Dottie their kids are spread all over the place. But listen, I'm new and I'm still pouting about it.

I'm tried to tour usually says build a bridge get over it. The Aubrey she's like, you know what? I don't know that I really want to do the market is this what the Lord wants what if what if when I turn 18 I leave a first of all you're not leaving our house until you're married.

She's like what if this isn't what the Lord wants she had a beef she raised and she has a lot of money invested in it. Couldn't sell it. She was home bits and pieces here and there that she had plans left over from her garden that she planted earth in this room. If she was trying to sell those dirt cheap and she prayed about it last Sunday lesson. Last Sunday two ladies came and bought every single bit of a bee. Will not last Lady left another guy pulled in and bought every single one of a plant. Remain faithful. You never know when the Lord is going to provide an open up doors remain faithful men. and women What we're going through now God has a plan for that. We have to be steadfast.

If you want your children to keep their feet on the ground put some responsibilities on their shoulders so many kids today just go through life and don't have any responsibility whatsoever. And then when you get out into the world,

I never forget when Brayden I think turn 13 or 14 towards grandfather always gives him money gives us money to get them Christmas and birthday. Well when he was old enough, we went to him and said, you know, what? Here's this money we can keep it and buy you stuff that you need or we can give it to you you buy what you need and whatever you have left over you can have it. Oh my word you would have thought we were committing murder the people that looked it us, how dare you how dare you teach him financial responsibility that kid learns Goodwill real quick.

Although that didn't set in because now he knows good vehicles and I mean not good vehicles anyways. We gave him that option for the first few years. He's safe. He had responsibilities.

Responsibility isn't a curse. It's a blessing now. kids that are here right now you're thinking

I just wondering I got to clean the bathroom. Are you serious? Yeah, you use it you do it. Because eventually Genesis 2:24 says leave and cleave if you get married you leave your family. Your mama's are going to come around and clean up your house for you. You have to do that yourself. It is our job to train that. It's responsibility guys. It's your job to to back your wives when your kids are are bad-mouthing. You were putting you down and I get in the middle of some things and I don't always get stories back like I should. That's where the imperfections come in.

We have to teach our kids responsibility. This is what David is saying to Solomon be responsible.

Become a man Solomon be a man. Don't be a little girly man walking around hiding from everything and Tori and I first got married. I got made fun of all the time because listen I sleep on the right side of the bed no matter where I'm at. And Tori used to like the move the bedroom around a lot and sometimes it felt that the right side was furthest from the door. There was like you're mad you should be protecting her. You're supposed to sleep towards the door on the bed. I'm sleeping on the right side.

David likes Tom and see a man. Take responsibility for how you live your life because you and you alone have to answer for what you do it. So people that all the time when they come to know the lord, they're like foot but I did so much wrong before that. Yeah, you still have to answer for that but the Lord forgives you and that's what matters. Take responsibility for your life and your life alone. If we would worry more about our own lies instead of what other people lies are doing Would we not be in a better place?

How many dads or moms or whatever do you hear of telling another parent how to take care of their kids when maybe they ought to be taking care of their own?

Just amazes me. Take responsibility for how you live your life irresponsible people run away.

over and over again

And then today we need to hear the same invite. We need here there. There's a term that we used to use in the police department about a mom and dad did that the dad wasn't there and maybe it's harsh whatever but they're basically all they are is a sperm donor. That's not what this world is about. That's not what God has set up.

You have the fun now you pay the price later.

A boy can have a child. It takes a man to raise that child. And if you choose as a boy to have a child, you better become a man right then and there you don't have time to grow into it. If you choose to get married at the boy, you better grow up and be a man the day you get married because you have a wife to take care of that is what scripture says it is. Not your wife's job to take care of you. Thank you, honey. You hear me, by the way.

This one hurts how important is a dad's role in life. I'm going to put some statistics up here that is from a census four years ago or five years ago. They're heartbreaking heart-wrenching. When you see them.

43% of us children live without their father 43%

63% of teen suicides are from fatherless homes.

90% of all runaways and homeless children are from fatherless home.

71% of pregnant teenagers lack of father 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless home. Those are staggering statistics.

However with that being said Remember when I said you have to live your life and you are countable for your life decision. If you are professing believer and you fall into one of these categories, I don't care what age you are. If you didn't have a father at home, you're still responsible for your actions. Do not use these statistics for what you do. Do not get up there and say you.

That because our Altima heavenly father is there. And he told us how to live. We have to choose for ourselves. I could easily stand up here. So, you know what? My dad wasn't around when I was younger. He was having an affair after fairies running around. Drinking doing all these kind of things and it's his fault. I'm the way I am. Sometimes I'm okay. We can't use other people as a scapegoat. We make those decisions. But dads who are here right now remember these statistics?

Some of you aren't fathers yet.

But you show if you play a fatherly role in many different people's lives. If you were a man and you're a man of God and you are a little kid or even teenagers or even younger than me. You play a fatherly role?

Dale Jinks is a perfect example.

My testimony has these people in it along with cliff and Joan. Johnson's me the Bible 13 years later day supposed to take me to Dale and in. He's Church in Lakeland. I couldn't stand church and I couldn't stand Pastors in Wayne do with it. They'll take them in his house and instantly start showing me his yard that he receded. They got to do with church. That's discipleship. Hello. He related to me one-on-one and I hey guys normal. He actually works at the time I didn't think pastors work. Alright, get off my back.

You know what else they didn't do they didn't speak politics. They didn't put anybody down. They didn't say you should do this. Not that stop that politics and putting people don't have no place in the church or Christian Life. Nothing irritates me something fierce when he gets on a political rant. What does God want men? What is God want? What does he want for us?

Star that's a little dim can't really read that but a father fulfilled his responsibilities first point. How do you how do you spell fill? Your responsibility 1st Kings 2-1 as David time is David's time to die. Junior. He charged Soul Solomon his son saying the word charge there.

In scripture person is dying words are especially significant. And they said he let the readers know to give particular attention to these verses. The Hebrew word to carries a special force. When is used as a dying Man's last in the structure that comes from the same root as flexible?

As a word for last will or Testament. When you work in the police department, you have a dying declaration with somebody's dying you listen to them at submissible in court. This is basically what David is saying to his son? Now I have a question or challenge for you. How many do you think you're going to be on your deathbed and you're going to be able to call your kids in and give them your last will and testament or you're dying declaration? Are already counting on that? So why not do it now? Why not give them to charge now? Look guys, I didn't do something right? This is what I've done as a young person and I I tell my kids all the time with this is what I used to do. I didn't start our marriage off properly. I didn't start raising you guys properly and I'm still dealing with those things today. Remember the consequences that you have to deal with.

Give them the proper charge.

Be their parents first. French flag we have too many parents being friends today and not enough being parents. My kids a x i don't know if I want to say hey because that's a really strong word, but they strongly dislike me for some things that I made them do.

I am their parent like I understand 100% serious about getting married 35 years old.

I'm kidding. It's 45 but

there's a song that Tim McGraw put has out. And it talks about the man. When he comes to the father to ask if the if she can have for his daughter's hand, he won't say yes until he knows that he's the man a man's man is a heart and soul and I forget the rest of I have to think that you don't want that.

Ricky you're on a roll today. Do we have those same thoughts and belief systems today for our for our kids? I never forget when Brayden Collins. I'm going to talk to Ellis dad. I'm going to do this. Horses are death pretty cool woman. They go out to eat and her dad there. So you need to talk to me now totally messing with him. Yeah, I thought it was going to die.

But his dad asked him important question. How are you going to leave my daughter? How's your spiritual life? How are you going to deal with this situation when it comes up when you get married the other day Brayden says new message is Dad marriage is a lot of work. Amen brother

Yeah, but why do you say that? You only been a month yet? Look, she's crying over milk. I thought he was just using us like an eternity. Don't cry over spilt not know. She he meant really crying over milk. She never went to the grocery store. This is given responsibility by the way, never went to the grocery store. She spent four hours and came home with bananas and strawberries. And brains outside and it's like okay, whatever. I'll just go later. He's choosing to make him a strawberry rhubarb pie for his birthday. How many do are Baker's here? How many silver put made a strawberry rhubarb pie or any kind of pot? We're going to say strawberry rhubarb just for this illustration. Do you need more than strawberry and rhubarb for the strawberry? Rhubarb pie that?

Two braids like will did you get everything worked?

What are you crying about? I forgot milk.

I forgot it. repair

being a parent is tough. When I left Michigan almost two years ago now Brayden and I were not on talking terms. That was horrible.

And is this day is Father's day I think back.

I'm trying to figure out which one it was. I think it was. Either came in the brain. I don't remember which one is they were born. My dad wasn't living at home. I didn't call my dad to let them know he was born.

I think about that. Because I was letting my own selfish anger get in the way and I certainly was not being a man. What charge are you giving your kids today? The first king to two I am going the way of all the Earth be strong and therefore and see show yourself a man. So you're so yourself for me and David was a man who accepted his responsibility to knew he would soon die. So he made plans which included counseling. He sticks his successor to his responsibility. Men, are we counseling our successors to our responsibilities? When I went over to me on my Brayden was still a home and I put together this packet and it's a packet that you don't want your wife ever to open up because something happened to you when you're overseas and it's got all the information is in at that time. We had adopted Alex and Roxy and we're in the process of it. I even wrote in there. I want her middle name to be met very strong on that. What I had who was going to do my funeral who I wanted to have sing at my at the funeral in it. Just all this kind of stuff and I had a letter written to every one of my kids. And then I got home like all praise the Lord. I made it home, but then I'm like why am I not telling them on a regular basis or a daily? The only kind of a thing? Why am I not giving them to charge? Why am I not asking them? Hey, how's your scripture reading going? How's your spiritual life? When was the last time you wrote Revolution? Oh, well, what are you reading right now? I know I just keep reading it over. Okay recite it to me.

What are you learning from it? That's when it hits me. They're actually getting something from it. What are we actually paying attention and looking at that number to a father challenges his son or daughter to become a man or a woman?

I have to rely on Toria lot cuz I have no idea what it's like to be a woman. I don't understand them. I can't figure them out. I never will look like

A good or God the father wants his son or daughter to grow up and become the right kind of man or woman. a Godly father my guys is I say that you like a I've already bombed. Don't have it. You're still alive there still time was 28 years old till the day that I became a believer. 28 praise the Lord that he tarry long enough for me to see that.

The second part of verse to David challenges his son to become a strong man. Be strong therefore and show yourself a man. I used to watch strongman competitions and I wants desire to be one of those men. I didn't make it. That's not what this is showing. Look, I have had some of the the littlest tiny scrawny men.

Lead me to the Lord by Dale.

And keep me accountable. It does not matter your bicep size. It matters how much you follow the lord and how much you're not afraid to step on people's toes.

Listen, I am not a doomsday kind of a person I am not one who is like all the Lord's going to return but I'm going to tell you right now with everything that's going on right now. What are we waiting on? Do we just think I'll tell him tomorrow?

I am to the point in my life at 42 years of age that I don't care whose feelings are hurt. If I am calling them out because that's what the Lord has called them to do. I don't care anymore. I have been through the wringer. I have seen so many ups and downs. I seen so many families ripped apart at seams so many kids go the wrong way. And yes, my son was one of them. In the more got a hold of me came back, but guess what the Lord did for that he split us up. To make me realize what I was missing out on I was so worried about my own selfish desires that I wasn't worried about him. I don't care anymore. Discipleship 101 you love the people. What you call them out for what's going on? You be a father as I do youth group all those kids or my kids everyone when one of them hurt I hurt. It doesn't matter if it's here or we live in Michigan. If you live in Indiana or higher of Pennsylvania when I see something happen it hurts.

So yes, I'm brutal and I'm tough on them at times.

But let them hate me now because when the Lord returns, maybe it'll help. 1st Peter 5:8 be of sober Spirit be on the alert your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion seeking someone to Devour the devil's real people. It's not a made-up myth or character. It's true. And if the law of the devil or Satan is not attacking you today, then you're not doing enough for God. Man, when you feel like you can't take enough or you can't take any more praise the Lord praise God because Satan knows you're going to do something for God. He does not want that when you're not being attacked and everything is just going smooth. That's when you were that's when you get concerned.

Because Satan is real. 2nd Corinthians 10:3 through 5/4 though. We walk in the flesh. We do not war according to the flesh.

Look what's going on. We are warring with the flesh for the weapons of our Warfare are not of the flesh. But divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses. We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God and we are taking every thought captive to The Obedience of Christ. Every single thing that's our war. This is our weapon. Now. I'm not saying then you go out and get rid of your gun. Cuz that ain't happening. I like to shoot, but I'm not going to shoot another person.

Our war is against flesh. And believe it or not. Our own flesh is what we are at war with more than someone else is flushed. Look at how much how many things come into our lives come into our hearts come into our minds to pull us away from Christ. For 10 years. I studied Hydroponics worms static aerated compost. All kinds of nerdy Tequesta homesteading things I move out here and work with who?

Boyfriend trying them and none of them worked.

Until my static aerated file now it's working. So well quick and hot

I have two choices.

Let my fleshly desires take over and continue and make it big taking all of my time away from Ministry, which I'm called to do. or I can continue to let it be a hobby teach Alex and teach whoever wants to listen which bases to me you guys cuz my kids are like new and Tori like I don't care.

Discipling them along the way. Discipleship should be the number one thought on our lives today men. I'm saying man, cuz it's Father's Day. So you can just put a bow in the front of that if you'd like.

Discipleship can be sitting down and taking a half hour 45 minutes and going through scripture. What discipleship in my own personal opinion and conviction works better? When you spend an hour and a half two hours of someone talking about scripture, but also getting involved in their life. Because I'm going to challenge you take the time to sit down for a half hour 45 minutes and see how well you get to know someone going through scripture or spend 2 hours with them talking about scripture doing work and see how much better you get to know him. Trust me you find out things you did not want to know. But that's what discipleship is men if we're not spending time with our kids. How do we know who they are? How do we know what their thoughts are? I can tell you right now every single look the my kids. Give me it's either a happy luck or a

or Aubrey got the most amazing angry with love it for me. But she has two angry looks one. Like I'm really angry and I'm going to take on the world and to as I'm angry, but enjoy angry if you noticed when she was playing piano, she had the time and joy angry face was bright red.

But I wouldn't know that if I didn't actually spend time with them.

When I talk about this next illustration it it's still. Tears me up.

We got to the Houston Rockets 2 years ago, June 13th. When we when they arrived at our house, we thought they were going to go back home. We were we were supposed to be short-term. the Lord had different plans I knew Alex is Wi-Fi new Roxy's life. We didn't really know who Roxie's real dad was we only seen pictures from from his jail picture. I remember what it's called mugshot.

Alex it look like he was going to go home. His dad was doing really cool. He was a little short guy had hair down to his butt braided and he was Hispanic just so you guys know

but his dad baby spoke ten words in English. The office Pam and Alex for those of you who know him really well. Is very passive little kid. You know, he doesn't like to cause waves he doesn't like to stick up for things. You just kind of, you know, if Rockies beat them over the head with a stick.

It was my goal and his dad was Catherine. It was my goal to read as much scripture as I could to him. But he knew and the teach him to stand up for himself. I did that for for 5 months. And then his dad fell off the wagon. It's started popping hot for for cocaine.

Guess what I did. I fell off the wagon. Are you going to be here? I need a scripture with him all the time.

I need to be tough and stand up for himself.

Who is wrong? Is that army? me

because I knew he was leaving there was a sense of urgency. But then I let it go. Do we have that sense of urgency cuz we're not going to get it back.

a father relays responsibility Rewards

Read the scripture first day. You may succeed and all that you do and wherever you turn so that the Lord may carry out his promise which he spoke concerning me saying if your sons are careful of their way to walk before me and Truth with all your heart with all their soul. You shall not lack a man on the throne of Israel. Is there anybody in here there's ever struggled financially.

Is it your desire to hope that your kids and never have to struggle financially?

Do you teach them more to not struggle financially or do you teach them or not to Starbucks.

That's where our flesh comes in.

I am living proof that the Lord provides. We moved out here. We had a one of my good friends. Give us a sign that says where God put where God guides he provides. amen He may not provide what we want, but he provides what we need. And there for a while he was providing a lot of fruits and vegetables.

I didn't want that, but I needed it.

What do we tell our kids work hard work hard, so you don't have to live a life like ours or do we say? study scripture pray hard live a life according to God so you don't have to struggle like a You see the difference? God provides finances God never promised this Rich monetarily. He promises Rich spiritually. lips

so what is the true Measure of a Man? Is David laid dying he knew that his son would also come to the end of his life one day. And David wanted his son to be able to look back and he satisfaction over his life. Also Another Blessing that comes from living a life in the will and word of God to be able to say is Jesus the son did the God the Father. I have glorified you on Earth. I have finished the work which you have given me to do men. when you're on your Deathbed Can you repeat John 17:4 I have glorified you on Earth. I have finished the work which you have given me to do. This cannot be accomplished with selfish motives. It cannot happen.

To prove yourself a man in God's eyes means the following thing. Those that would keep the charge of the Lord their God to become a real man must put their life in God capable hand and ask him to make them Strong by his power and enablement. When we come up with our own plans, that's when God lets us know. What's really happening. How many times do we have all these plans laid out in our lives? You know, what by the way I was going to retire in, Michigan. I didn't happen.

I'm going to put it more of a warmer climate.

What is God's plan for us? Are we being our kids parents? Are we being our kids friends? Are we stepping on toes? Are we just stepping back? Because we don't want to hurt someone's feelings less than people. You don't have time to not worry about stepping on people's or hurting people's feelings. It's just not going to happen. That's why we're where we're at today. Back in the nineties. You couldn't spank your kids. Will that's all these people need right now is a good spanking.

What is the word of God say doesn't mean you're going to do a perfectly but are you interested in trying? What actually trying? What are you just get up on a Sunday morning and come to church and be like, you know, who Church? Well, they actually seeing us do it on a daily basis. More than sitting in a table and open up my Bible and reading cuz anybody can do that. Are we living it? I have a confession to make I'm not perfect. I don't live in on a daily basis. I struggle. I deal with anger I deal with rage I deal with a hard heart. But I always turn back to the Lord. And I pray that my kids and my wife truly know that I love them. They may say I love me some time. But I hope the day that I die, which I'm going to outlive all of them so they won't know this, but I hope that when I die they like you love me. He tried he wanted to see me, bro. He wanted to see me move forward. Will your kids say that to you man? Will your wife say that? Do you stand up when times are tough and I know not everybody likes controversy. I'm not a big fan of it. But if it means I got to get in somebody's face because they're going to get some more and they're putting my God down or I'm going to do it.

So are you a man David found his wisdom strength and blessing in obeying God's word and he wanted his son to find them also. You can be a strong man of God Only by ordering your life by God's command or living your life by God's the man and are you doing that? Plug challenge for everyone in this room today.

I was debating on if I was you going to do this challenge cuz I'm not sure that I could even do this challenge.

step away from social media for one month I mean totally stepping away and throw some people are like

see how much better you're like it got like one.

Step away from it. It's a funny thing. I don't have my phone with me. But I know where in Vermont we know the greatest cell service, but when you don't have cell service people actually have landline. You can call and talk to them. It's another thing that is still happening, which I'm amazed, but you can write a letter now for the younger people who put it in the envelope yellow stamp on it. You put it in the mail like 3 days later. The other person's gifted. I love getting mail.

Step away from it for one month or anything else that is dividing your attention away. Look at this pandemic the coronavirus look at how your life has slowed down. Is anybody appreciated it? amen think maybe that's God open us over open up or I What distractions is getting in the way of being a man man? You could be my bar. He could be our job. We could be some sports that we're playing which the Lord has sent us about that right now. So that's out. Or I could be spending time with somebody else outside of her family. That's not our family and we need to spend more time with her family. It may be on the next get-rich-quick scheme.

We are going for financial. I mean, I'm sorry spiritual. Richland one month, can you do it?

Come here. Oh, you can bring him up. He's cute. I mean you're cute, too, but that's kind of weird. Everybody this is Florian delva. He just said amen. He can do it for one month pray for this man. I give you a week. Okay, I give you 2 days.

I got him a hard time. Pray for it. But hey, you know what? He was strong enough to say. Yes. Amen. How many other people could do it they end up if you can.

Well, it's already set up. Are we got we got two people that can do this challenge?

We got two people sick to do.

The ultimate challenge is connect with your family. Connect with your kids. When was the last time you all sit down together at night for a meal? Just your family.

Do that man. We live in a harsh world. It's not going to get any better.

And if you're professing Believers and you get to when you die and you get in front, and you stand in front of Jesus, is he going to say Well done. Universal servant What were you thinking?

Let's pray. Occasionally follow Lord I Thank you so much for your word Lord. I Thank You For King David Lord that man had so many issues. So many things he went through he was not perfect. But you use them. Lord Use us. Use us with with our blemishes Lord help us as men be the leaders help us as men be men of God. The Lord forget the past from this day forward from today on we start looking towards you and all we know there's going to be bumps in the road and we know that we're going to make mistakes. Lord I do pray I pray for your strength and your comfort and your stamina Lord for us to set everything else aside that we may have gone from this time and before that's the password. And help us reconcile and repent and move forward. The Lord if we haven't been the best for a kid or a wise or whoever else around us. Lord is going to take time for them to see the change the Lord let us not give up. Let us to continually move forward. Lord I just pray these things in Jesus name. Amen. Before they saying I want to critique his message sentence for contrary.

Just one point. He said they'll think she's been was the perfect example and I want to stand here before you this morning and say and do people that know me know better. I was not perfect example as variance perfect example of a father have been in perfect example for the husband and then perfect example, but what you see standing before you right now is the grace of God damn and everyone of us are perfect people serving God and perfectly and God not only forgives us for that but reward, yes. I praise God for Brian and Torey my family one. Anybody could have been a better Pastor in Sandy Springs. You know you imperfect imperfect. He was perfectly imperfect.