\\ Finding The Freedom To Forgive

Scripture: Matthew 18:21-35

21 ¶ Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"  22  Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. {Or seventy times seven}  23  "Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants.  24  As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents {That is, millions of pounds} was brought to him.  25  Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.  26  "The servant fell on his knees before him. `Be patient with me,' he begged, `and I will pay back everything.'  27  The servant's master took pity on him, cancelled the debt and let him go.  28  "But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow-servants who owed him a hundred denarii. {That is, a few pounds} He grabbed him and began to choke him. `Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded.  29  "His fellow-servant fell to his knees and begged him, `Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.'  30  "But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt.  31  When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened.  32  "Then the master called the servant in. `You wicked servant,' he said, `I cancelled all that debt of yours because you begged me to.  33  Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow-servant just as I had on you?'  34  In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.  35  "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."

No Offense

"Of course you have to work hard to offend Christians. By nature Christians are the most forgiving, understanding and thoughtful group of people I've ever dealt with. They never assume the worst at the get-go, they appreciate the importance of having different perspectives, they're slow to anger, quick to forgive and almost never make rash judgments or act in anything less than a spirit of total love.

"No, wait -- I'm thinking of Labrador retrievers."

By DAVIDLEARN

1.  The Enormity Of The Debt

It is a common struggle for people to accurately assess their true need for God and the extent of their indebtedness to Him

This “servant” was in debt to the tune of “millions” of dollars.  And he had nothing to show for it.  Paul writes in Romans, “The wages of sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”

We add to that debt everyday we live without God.  Every Sunday as you come and go from church in an unregenerate or unsaved state – in a broken relationship with God. 

Ø      You borrow time from God.  Everyone of us live on borrowed time when you come to think about it.  You assume that He will grant you a last minute leap of faith into His arms.  He’ll forgive you all right enough if you have time to breathe a prayer.

Ø      You borrow from the mercy bank as you live a self-sufficient existence.  God looks down and sees the bankrupt soul living on the illusion of plenty.

How do we get that far in debt?  Rev. 3:17 - "You say 'I am rich.'"  We have a very difficult time gaining a picture of our spiritual condition.  He was a servant.  What people owe us should lose significance when our debt has been canceled.  When it is within your ability to pass on a blessing that you have been freely given - God help us when we hoard.

Why is it difficult for us to assess the true state of our souls?  We hold up false standards.

a)     We compare ourselves to the failings of others and say that we are “better” than this or that person.

b)     We think that “good” is the bar.  If we are good people and treat others fairly then that will do.  You may go through life without offending your neighbor but he/she will not be the one to determine whether or not you find your way to heaven someday.  You might get a good reference but what would that mean.  You neighbor will not determine whether or not you are in a right standing with God.  When I say  that a person is a good person, I am speaking of my own personal experience with them.  That is all that I can speak from.

What we do in the here and now does not negate a pre-existing state in which every man, woman, boy and girl finds themselves.  They are in a broken relationship with God.  Regardless of how loving and compassionate God is, the restoration of that relationship depends on what you do with the judicial sacrifice of Christ.  He took your penalty, he paid the price for your sin.  He looked into the future two thousand years and saw your sinfulness and determined to provide for your forgiveness.  The holy nature of a loving God demands that sin be “atoned” for.  He cannot merely say as we do – “That’s okay.”  He tells us that our basis for approaching Him is in the sacrifice of His son.

I treat people as I find them – Ray Shalala

c)      Our sense of goodness can never be anything more than an expression of our values.  The Rich Young Ruler. (movies)

2.  The Extent Of His Pardon

It is a common struggle for Christians to live fully within their privilege as a forgiven son/daughter of God.

He saved his neck.  We have a difficult time understanding the implications of our privileged position.  We have a freedom that we often fail to exercise.  We are like the dog taken off his leash - conditioned to stay within a limited radius, we have come to accept the limits of our bondage and to preserve these in our freedom.  He cast himself on someone else's mercy.  He had nothing to offer.  There was no hope that he ever could have repaid his debt.  He had proven himself to be nothing but a user - nothing to show for all that he had been given.  It's amazing how little we need when we have no debt - we have greater freedom than the person who has much and is bound by his obligations.

There are people who come to faith in Christ who think that they are on a long term repayment plan.  You see salvation is a gift and God doesn’t want you to try to “pay him back”.  I am indebted to people in my life that I am unable to repay in a thousand lifetimes.  I am head over heels in debt to God and he has canceled that account.  Paid in full!

How do you respond to that?  I find myself in love with Him and this love becomes my impetus – my motivation for living – to demonstrate my love – not to repay a non-existent debt.  It makes for a totally different experience.

Knowing God’s forgiveness personally in my life causes me to see other people differently.

Ø      I didn’t earn what I have been given.  Sort of like an honorary doctorate.  It doesn’t separate me from the common folk – it is a merely a title conferred upon me by someone else who has the authority to so bless me.  Do I use the title?  Not much if any.

Ø      I am no different than others who have not been forgiven.  My relationship with God is different but that’s it.  I can claim no resident goodness of my own.  It is the daily working out or the demonstration of that relationship that counts.  Does God look at my life and see the expression of love for Him manifested.

Ø      It’s makes me want to “bless” others with the same relationship that I know.  When I talk to others of Christ, I am extending a wonderful invitation to know Him fully – to be “debt-free” as well.

3. The Essence Of Forgiveness

One of the reasons that many Christians struggle with anger and forgiveness issues is that they have never practically experienced what it is to be fully forgiven.

God has saved us and called us to be living representations of himself here on planet earth.

TOP 10 REASONS TO FORGIVE

10. Alka-Selzer already has enough of your money.

9.  Turning the other cheek might become the newest dance craze.

8. It will leave your soul smelling minty-fresh!

7. Not enough seeing-eye dogs trained to take this "eye-for-an-eye" thing  literally.

6. It sure beats frying in Hell.

5. Forgiveness: it's not just for heretics anymore!

4. It's cheaper than a lawyer.

3. Decrease the likelihood of ever being a guest on the Jerry Springer show.

2.  Two words:  It's free!

And the number one reason to give forgiveness a try:

1.      Because Jesus said so!

In forgiving me God has given me the freedom to forgive others.  (Ill. my tenant gives me rent each month that I need in order to make my mortgage payment - I cannot afford to neglect to collect if I want to meet my obligations) People who judge others have never realized the full extent of God's love themselves.  They're still collecting in order to stay afloat themselves.

FORGIVENESS

Forgiveness is something we give without expectations.  If we forgive with expectations it is not forgiveness at all.  Forgiveness heals our soul and brings us to peace.  When we forgive we set ourselves free.  Free from judgment of others and judgment of self.  So forgive yourself and others as soon as you possibly can.  Forgiveness is the key to being a happy and free person.  When we harbor resentment we become a prisoner of our own making.

Annie

Who are you to judge another man's servant?

He who has been forgiven much. Lk. 7:36. 

Luke 7:36 ¶ Now one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, so he went to the Pharisee's house and reclined at the table.  37  When a woman who had lived a sinful life in that town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee's house, she brought an alabaster jar of perfume,  38  and as she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.  39  When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, "If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is--that she is a sinner."  40  Jesus answered him, "Simon, I have something to tell you." "Tell me, teacher," he said.  41  "Two men owed money to a certain money-lender. One owed him five hundred denarii, {A denarius was a coin worth about a day's wages.} and the other fifty.  42  Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he cancelled the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?"

 43  Simon replied, "I suppose the one who had the bigger debt cancelled." "You have judged correctly," Jesus said.  44  Then he turned towards the woman and said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair.  45  You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet.  46  You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet.

 47  Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven-- for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little." 48  Then Jesus said to her, "Your sins are forgiven."  49  The other guests began to say among themselves, "Who is this who even forgives sins?"  50  Jesus said to the woman, "Your faith has saved you; go in peace."

A person who forgives little is a person who has no idea of the debt that they owe themselves.  There is a direct correlation between a person’s ability to forgive and their realization of their sinfulness.

A person who cannot forgive is a person who has never been truly forgiven. 

Ø      Our failures . . . God has forgiven us. 

Ø      Our frailties . . . He's forgiven them as well - the things that we go to elaborate lengths to camoflage (that's why we recognize them so easily in others ) - it doesn't matter to Him - He wants you to step beyond them but He loves you desperately despite them.  You see when we are forgiven we no longer need to punish ourselves and we certainly don't need to punish others who as well have been forgiven.  How many would say, "God has been patient with me."?  Well guess what - He is patient with those who try my patience.  If He is patient with me - if He is patient with them . . . then who am I to not be patient with them? 

Ø      Our fancies . . . we don't get what we want.  People at church are warm and friendly until you get in their pew.  James says, "You quarrel and covet because you do not get what you want."

To excuse what can really produce good excuses is not Christian charity; it is only fairness.  To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.  This is hard.  It is perhaps not so hard to forgive a single injury.  But to forgive the incessant provocations of daily life -- to keep on forgiving the bossy mother-in-law, the bullying husband, the nagging wife, the selfish daughter, the deceitful son -- how can we do it?  Only, I think, by remembering where we stand, by meaning our words when we say in our prayers each night, "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us."  We are offered forgiveness on no other terms.  To refuse it means to refuse God's mercy for ourselves.  There is no hint of exceptions and God means what He says.

                  ... C. S. Lewis (1898-1963), "On Forgiveness"

FORGIVING EACH OTHER

Forgiveness is letting go of the pain and accepting what has happened,

because it will not change.

Forgiveness is dismissing the blame.  Choices were made that caused hurt;

we each could have chosen differently, but we didn't.

Forgiveness is looking at the pain, learning the lessons it has produced,

and understanding what we have learned.

Forgiveness allows us to move on towards a better understanding of God’s

love and our true purpose.

Forgiveness is knowing that love is the answer to all questions, and that we all

are in some way connected.

Forgiveness is starting over with the knowledge that we have gained. 

I forgive you, and I forgive myself.  I hope you can do the same.

Judith Mammay

There are many reasons why God would not want you.  But don't worry.

You're in good company.

- Moses stuttered.

-- David's armor didn't fit.

--- John Mark was rejected by Paul.

---- Hosea's wife was a prostitute.

----- Amos' only training was in the school of fig-tree pruning.

------ Jacob was a liar.

------- David had an affair.

-------- Solomon was too rich.

--------- Abraham was too old.

---------- David was too young.

----------- Timothy had ulcers.

------------ Peter was afraid of death.

------------- Lazarus was dead.

-------------- John was self-righteous.

--------------- Jesus was too poor.

-------------- Naomi was a widow.

------------- Paul was a murderer. So was Moses.

------------ Jonah ran from God.

----------- Miriam was a gossip.

---------- Gideon and Thomas both doubted.

--------- Jeremiah was depressed and suicidal.

-------- Elijah was burned out.

------- John the Baptist was a loudmouth.

------ Martha was a worry-wart.

----- Mary was lazy.

---- Samson had long hair.

--- Noah got drunk.

-- Did I mention that Moses had a short fuse?

- So did Peter, Paul - well, lots of folks did.

But God doesn't require a job interview.

He doesn't hire and fire like most bosses,

because He's more our Dad than our Boss.

He doesn't look at financial gain or loss.

He's not prejudiced or partial,

not judging, grudging, sassy, or brassy,

not deaf to our cry,

not blind to our need.

As much as we try, God's gifts are free.

We could do wonderful things for wonderful people and still not be. . .

Wonderful.

Satan says, "You're not worthy."

Jesus says, "So what?  I AM."

Satan looks back and sees our mistakes.

God looks back and sees the cross.

He doesn't calculate what you did in '78.  It's not even on the record.

Sure.  There are lots of reasons why God shouldn't want us.

But if we are magically in love with Him,

if we hunger for Him more than our next breath,

He'll use us in spite of who we are, where we've been, or what we look like.

Step out of your limitations into the illimitable nature of who God is.

- Author Unknown