Maddie Finch - 1/5/18

We come together this morning numb from the events of this last week. Not a single one of us wants to be here this morning. It all seems like a terrible dream and we are anxious to wake up. Unfortunately, it is not a dream. And so we come together today to celebrate the life and to shake our heads and mourn the death of Maddie Finch.

It is tempting in times like this to feel that God has turned away or does not even exist if things like this happen. Yet, as you read through the Bible you see that there are all kinds of bad things that happen in this world of ours. However, this is the promise we are given,

I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39)

There is no promise that there will be no pain, tragedy or hardship. The Bible seems to grant that things like this will happen because God gives us choices and often we choose to do what He has not commanded. At times, people do reckless and even wicked things. And when they do, other people are also hurt. The only way to keep this from happening is to take away our free choices which robs us of our humanity.

So God does the next best thing . . . He promises that we will not have to face anything alone:

Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.

I have called you by name; you are mine.

2When you go through deep waters,

I will be with you.

When you go through rivers of difficulty,

you will not drown.

When you walk through the fire of oppression,

you will not be burned up;

the flames will not consume you.

3For I am the Lord, your God,

the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. (Isaiah 43:1-3)

I suppose if the Lord was speaking to us He would say, “When you are called upon to bury one who is dear to you long-long before you should . . . I will be with you even then.

This is what I encourage you to hold onto today: the promise that even though God seems absent, He is actually very close.

Will you pray with me please?

Father, how do we make sense of what has happened? How is this family and these friends to bear the pain of loss? You have promised to give strength where it is needed and we sure do need it now. Help us O Lord, to go through this time of remembering. Draw us close to you that we might feel your arms around us. Turn our hearts and minds for even a few moments from the tragedy of death to the vibrancy of the of life that Maddie lived. I ask this in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

*

In an unfathomable act of violence Maddie’s life was ended. That is a fact we have to accept. We do not however, have to allow this person to steal the beauty of her life. We must not let this act of violence overshadow who Maddie was and will always be in our hearts. In other words, I want you to direct your anger differently, refuse to let Maddie Finch be known simply as ‘the girl that was shot and killed in La Harpe’. Let us not only remember how she died, let us remember that she lived.

Maddie Finch was born to Jason and Carrie Finch on September 23, 1998 in Macomb. She was real jaundiced when she came home from the hospital and she slept in a suitcase with a light over it. Maddie had to wear special goggles. Her mom slept by her side holding her hand.

Maddie attended grade school in La Harpe. She graduated from Illini West High School in 2017. From the very beginning Maddie wanted to carve out her own identity, one that was distinct from the rest of the family, including her sister Josie. Maddie was very smart She was so smart that things came easy for her and she may have gotten a little lazy.

When it came time to pick an instrument for band, she did not want to play the flute like her mom, or the clarinet like her sister. She wanted to be unique, so she picked the Tuba. Girls did not play the tuba which made her want to do it even more. Did I mention that Maddie was ornery?

She did not follow the way of sports because Josie had already done that. She didn’t put forth a lot of effort on studies because once again, Josie had been there and done that. She didn’t pursue art because Josie got a first on one of her pictures. She became a Cardinal fan because Jason is a Cubs fan. She rooted for UConn in girls basketball because Josie rooted for the university of Tennessee. Maddie became kind of the rebel child. Josie went to a small college so Maddie wanted to go to a big school. She was a contrary child because she wanted to be unique.

Maddie had a number of nicknames. She had the nicknames “Ninja,” “Mad-hatter,” “Mad-Dog” and some called her just Madd (but you always had to include 2 d’s because she didn’t want to be known as someone who was angry.) The one thing you didn’t want to do was call her Josie! She took after her 4 year old cousin Quincy after he made that mistake and she would have gone after you! She may have been most proud of being named “The Life of the Party” by her classmates. I asked what that meant and was told “she was always entertaining”. Maddie loved to dress up. She had that beautiful smile of hers that lit up a room and made everyone feel a little better about life. She was always hamming for a camera which is evidenced by the many pictures of her. Maddie liked being the center of attention. In fact, Maddie would love the fact that everyone was here talking about her!

Maddie benefitted a great deal from Greg Hoener, one of the teachers that took her under his wing. She loved to torment him. She had him first hour so she resolved to always come in late to class. She would come in with her cup of coffee and Mr. Hoener would take her coffee and drink it as her penalty for being late. He made her think, and made her feel special and understood, and she liked that.

She was not a fan of Carol Brooks because as her PE teacher she had rules (and did we mention . . . Maddie wasn’t a big fan of rules?) Every time you didn’t dress for PE you had to write a paper on some topic. Maddie had some legitimate reasons to be out of PE and then there were other days she just didn’t want to dress. She could crank out the papers with ease. She wrote on every subject she could think of and then started using old papers because she was sure Mrs Brooks wasn’t reading the papers anyway. Maddie was stubborn.

Maddie knew how to get what she wanted from people. Her grandfather called her a Koala Bear. She was loving and demonstrative. The consensus seems to be that she had her dad and her grandparents pretty well wrapped around her finger. She could get them to buy her most anything! Maddie memorized the credit card numbers of her grandparents and would buy things using their credit card and then ask them if it was OK! She was bold! The family agrees, money was no object to Maddie, as long as it wasn’t hers.

She could always get “loans” from people (they knew she was never going to pay them back.) She always had a great story. Even recently she worked at Jenni’s in Lomax. She loved working with Jenni and she was great with the people. The thing was, Maddie would come home and say she loved working for Jenni but she was frustrated that she had to pay for her own meals. Her parents gave her some money so she could eat. The next day she came home and told them she actually had to eat 2 meals during her shift. They gave her more money. It was only a little while ago that they learned that Jenni never charged the help to eat!

Every year at Christmas Grandpa Walkington played a game with the kids called the “Dash for Cash”. He would take $150-200 dollars and put it in various size bills and the kids would each get to draw out several bills and get to keep whatever they drew. They had to implement the ‘Maddie-Rule’ and put the bills in envelopes because Maddie quickly figured out that the $50 or $100 bills felt different than the others because they were usually new!

The family used to make movies together and Maddie was always eager to play a starring role . . . and the crazier, the better.

“Maddie Coffee” was coffee that was almost white because of all the creamer.

Maddie loved her friends . . . and she had friends everywhere. I am told, when she was with her friends she could trash talk with the best of them. She liked to ask, ”What’s up Bro?” I’m told Maddie was polite and kind to 90% of the people. If you were in the 10% (which is where you did not want to be) she would tell you it was because you had done something to deserve it. Over and over I read on Facebook that she was a great friend.

Maddie loved to torment her mom. At times they acted like enemies . . . especially if Carrie tried to set some limits. Carrie said Maddie would take delight in “pushing her buttons” and then in seemingly the next minute would do something sweet and loving. I have the felling it was pretty much a game for Maddie. Her mom says Maddie liked to: Have fun, snack, and sleep. When Carrie would try to get Maddie out of bed or do something she didn’t want to do, she would sometimes pinch her mom! Carrie still has a bruise to prove it.

One of the ways she tormented her mom and sister was when it was gift-giving time. She gave what she called “universal gifts.” These were things she gave to them which she planned to use! For example, she would get her mom soap or hand lotion that had a fragrance that SHE liked. She would buy perfume she would wear. In other words, she was almost giving gifts to herself, while at the same time fulfilling her obligation to give a gift.

We’ve laughed and celebrated the fun-loving character of Maddie Finch. But there was also a deeper side to her. She loved and admired her sister; she cared deeply about her parents (though she would probably deny that publicly). She gravitated to children who had special needs. She loved animals. Her dog Finn was a rescued dog. If she had her own way she would have taken all the dogs from the Paw Animal Shelter in Ft. Madison. When Josie’s cat needed to be put down she went with in with Mimi so her sister would know that Mimi didn’t have to die alone.

Maddie was great with kids. She wanted to be a nurse or a doctor in a children’s oncology unit because she longed to ease their suffering. She took care of the Cox children . . .and enjoyed it! Maddie gave blood as often as she could. She wanted to help people and be a positive force in life. She was not afraid to stand up for what she believed in. She loved people and had lots of friends because she had a way of letting everyone know that she accepted you just the way you are. You felt significant, understood and appreciated when you were with Maddie.

Maddie was artistic. She loved doing crafts with the people at the Klein unit in Burlington who had Alzheimer’s. She hated the fact that they told her what to wear and said she had to take out her nose ring and earrings, but she loved the work. She also hated knowing that she would return the next day and they might have forgotten about everything they did together. ````

She was this beautiful woman on both the inside and the outside. Sadly, she always felt she didn’t quite measure up. She never thought of herself as attractive even though the whole world thought she was beautiful. She always thought a few less pounds, longer eyelashes, a different kind of wardrobe, would make her look better.

Maddie Finch was a breath of fresh air who would tell it like she believed it to be and if you disagreed with her she was delighted to argue with you. She had a comeback for everything. She brought life and joy into our lives. She had a tender heart and saw the best in people. God gave us a special treasure in Maddie Finch. There already aren’t enough Maddie’s in the world. We really could not afford to lose her. Our comfort is this: she left traces of herself in every life she touched. Her influence is all around us. It is not the way we would like things to be, but we will carry what we have, in our hearts forever.

[SONG . . . My Sister, My Friend . . . Reba)

When something as sudden, horrible, and senseless as this happens, we ask a bunch of questions trying to make sense of things. We generally end up desperately frustrated. There don’t seem to be any answers. In fact, it seems like every question just brings two more.

There is a book in the Bible called Ecclesiastes where King Solomon looked at life and tried to make sense of it. He writes,

I, the Teacher, was king of Israel, and I lived in Jerusalem. 13I devoted myself to search for understanding and to explore by wisdom everything being done under heaven. I soon discovered that God has dealt a tragic existence to the human race. 14I observed everything going on under the sun, and really, it is all meaningless—like chasing the wind.

15What is wrong cannot be made right.

What is missing cannot be recovered. (Ecclesiastes 1:12-15)

Solomon looked at the world and saw no answers to his questions. Later in the book he observed

11I have observed something else under the sun. The fastest runner doesn’t always win the race, and the strongest warrior doesn’t always win the battle. The wise sometimes go hungry, and the skillful are not necessarily wealthy. And those who are educated don’t always lead successful lives. It is all decided by chance, by being in the right place at the right time.

12People can never predict when hard times might come. Like fish in a net or birds in a trap, people are caught by sudden tragedy. (Ecclesiastes 9:11-12

Solomon is known for saying “Meaningless, Meaningless, all is meaningless.” As Solomon looked at the world, he saw heartache. He looked for meaning in riches, buying more stuff, pleasure, power, and education, and said they all ended in emptiness.

It’s actually a pretty depressing book if you don’t understand what Solomon is doing. What Solomon concluded was this: we have two choices in life: 1) life is a crap shoot that is really a treadmill that goes nowhere and ends in nothingness. It is the life that leads to desperation and hopelessness. It leads people to reckless living because nothing really matters.. 2) The other choice (the one Solomon advances) is that there is more to life than what we see. There is a God that is above everything that takes place in this world. He is working in ways that are far beyond our ability to understand. We are not headed nowhere. This life is actually preparing us for life beyond the grave. And this view leads us to endure and keep going even when life hurts. And we do this by holding tenaciously to the nature and character of God.

He concludes the book with these words:

Here now is my final conclusion: Fear God and obey his commands, for this is everyone’s duty. 14God will judge us for everything we do, including every secret thing, whether good or bad.

Solomon says the only thing that makes sense is that this life is not all there is. There is a place beyond this world where evil is abolished, wrong is made right, and our lives are measured before the throne of God. God will look at our lives and judge us based on if we honored Him or ignored Him.

This would be terrifying if it were not for Jesus. He told us that He came to rescue us. He understood we are broken. He knows we cannot fix ourselves. He came to give His life as a payment for all the wrongs we have done. His promise is straightforward: “He who believes in me will live even though He dies.”

The Bible tells us that Jesus offers us forgiveness and a new beginning. He says to receive this we must recognize our brokenness and turn to Him. It is the most important choice we will ever make. It is a choice with eternal consequence. We must choose between receiving God’s grace and forgiveness, or telling God you don’t want Him in your life.

As we think about the events of New Year’s Eve we are tempted to ask, “What kind of God would allow something like this to happen?” The answer to the question is: “The kind of God that allows people to make real choices that bear real consequences.”

If we thought about it, we could come up with dozens (maybe even hundreds) of choices that if any one of them were made differently, it would have likely eliminated our need for this service. But . . . such reflecting serves no real purpose. You can’t go back in time.Everyone made the best choices they could. There is no purpose in tormenting ourselves with “what ifs”. Blame only deepens wounds.

The thing it is important for us to see is that we still have very real choices to make. And all of these choices will have consequences. We cannot do anything about the past but where we go from here stands before us. There are many choices to make:

You must choose whether you are going to run to God or turn away from Him.

You must choose whether you believe this life is all there is or that there is life beyond the grave; whether you believe Maddie’s life is over or whether it has simply changed locations.

You have to choose whether you will allow other people to grieve in their own way, or whether you will conclude that if people don’t grieve like you do they don’t care or they are weak.

You must choose whether you are going to fixate on the moments of Maddie’s death or celebrate the years of her life.

You must choose whether you will withdraw from others or whether you will let others help you through this time.

You must choose whether you will draw family close or push them away.

As a community we must choose whether we will support this family for only today or whether we will be there for the long term.

We must choose whether we will be bitter and strike out at each other or whether we will use this horrible event to learn, grow, and cherish this life, and the people in that life, a little more than we did before.

We must choose whether we will see our community as being ruined by this violence or see it as the opportunity to see our community at work as the great place it is; where people stand together in the tough times.

We must choose whether we will stop living or whether we will live until that day when we will see Maddie again.

Jason, Carrie, Josie . . . we would not change places with you for anything. We know there is only so much we can do to help ease your pain. But this we can say: you are not alone. We stand with you as a community. And even more importantly: God stands with you. And there is much more He can do than we can.

There is nothing that will make what happened OK. There is nothing that will make this horrible experience into a blessing. We hear people say all the time: God never gives us something we cannot handle. That sounds nice, but it is just not true. Sometimes, I believe, God lets us face things we cannot handle so we will turn to Him for the strength we need. I encourage you to do just that.

May the life, spirit, and passion with which Maddie lived her life, spur us on to better choices, deeper relationships, and the desire to live every day to the fullest.

SONG There Goes My Life – Kenny Chesney)

It is my prayer that you will remember the LIFE of Maddie Finch,

Every time you see someone with piercings and wild clothes, consider the possibility that this might be a person who just wants to have fun and wants people to see them as unique and beautiful.

Every time you hear or read about an act of violence anywhere use that as a reminder to recall the richness of Maddie’s life and to say a prayer for her family.

Every time you see a young person struggling to carry their tuba, think of Maddie.

Every time you hear music that sounds like you stuck your head in a washing machine while it was running and that has lyrics from someone with an obviously very limited vocabulary, think of Maddie.

Every time you are asked to run laps in school . . . think of Maddie sitting in the stands writing a paper filled with B.S.

Every time someone pinches you, think of Maddie

And in memory of Maddie, every day as you go out into the world remember that everyone needs someone to make them feel like they are seen and valued. Choose to be that person. And if you do this consistently, don’t be surprised if someday others refer to you as the life of the party . . . thank you Maddie for your example!

Let’s pray together,

O Lord, we need you. We need your strength, your comfort, and your healing. We confess that we don’t understand. Help us to trust you anyway.

We ask you to help this family. Walk with them in the weeks, months, and years ahead. When the emptiness is so profound that it suffocates, help them to breathe. Remind them of your promises frequently and give them clear memories of the blessings of Maddie’s life. Help the painful images to fade.

Help us all to learn things from Maddie’s life that will help us to live better lives. Help us to make good choices so that someday we can stand before you and be welcomed into the life that is free from evil, pain, and sorrow. We ask in Jesus’ name. Amen.

1.5.18