The Anguish of Love - Matthew 26:36-46

Love is the most wonderful and the most painful thing at the same time. Love fills the heart with gladness when things are going well. But love also will break your heart when things are not going well. In the same way, there is great joy in the birth of a child. The moment you hold that child your heart explodes with love. But when you see that child suffering there is an anguish you cannot relieve. And for parents who must bury a child . . . the anguish is suffocating and unrelenting.

Today we see those two emotions come together in the life and prayer of Jesus. His great love for us results in the great agony we see Him experience in the Garden of Gethsemane.

Let’s set the stage. Jesus and the disciples had just shared the Passover meal on what was likely Thursday night. Already in the evening Jesus had washed the feet of the disciples, He told them one of them was going to betray Him, and He told them that all of them would desert Him. He told Peter specifically that he would deny him 3 times that very night! They ate the Passover meal together and Jesus changed the traditional words of the Passover feast to talk about His broken body and blood and a new covenant established by God through the shedding of His blood. Their heads were surely spinning. It had already been a long and emotion filled night. And this is where we pick up our text.

36Then Jesus went with them to the olive grove called Gethsemane, and he said, “Sit here while I go over there to pray.” 37He took Peter and Zebedee’s two sons, James and John, and he became anguished and distressed. 38He told them, “My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”

39He went on a little farther and bowed with his face to the ground, praying, “My Father! If it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.”

40Then he returned to the disciples and found them asleep. He said to Peter, “Couldn’t you watch with me even one hour? 41Keep watch and pray, so that you will not give in to temptation. For the spirit is willing, but the body is weak!”

42Then Jesus left them a second time and prayed, “My Father! If this cup cannot be taken away unless I drink it, your will be done.” 43When he returned to them again, he found them sleeping, for they couldn’t keep their eyes open.

44So he went to pray a third time, saying the same things again. 45Then he came to the disciples and said, “Go ahead and sleep. Have your rest. But look—the time has come. The Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. 46Up, let’s be going. Look, my betrayer is here!”

It is difficult for us to grasp the truth that Jesus was fully God and fully man. This text shows us the depth of the humanity of Jesus. One of the heresies of the past that keeps cropping up in the present (like most heresies) is the idea that Jesus was not really human but only appeared to be human. These people say, “How could God ever inhabit a human body?” This heresy is known as Docetism (dōˈsēˌtizəm). However, the Bible is clear . . . Jesus was fully God but submitted Himself to the limitations of a human nature. The only thing Jesus did not have that we have, is the sinful nature.

This raises the question: did Jesus have headaches? Did He ever have the flu? Did He ever feel a sense of frustration? Did He feel pain? All these things are consequences of the entry of sin in our world. I believe Jesus experienced these things because He chose to be “in every sense tempted like we are.” Perhaps this helps explain some of the agony Jesus experienced in the Garden of Gethsemane.

There are two different “stories” in this text which switch back and forth. There is Jesus with the disciples, and then Jesus in prayer with the Father. I am going to talk about each story separately. Let’s look first at Jesus with the disciples.

The Disciples

Jesus stopped in the Garden of Gethsemane which was at the foot of the Mount of Olives just outside Jerusalem. Most people believe this was an Olive Grove that was a quiet “park-like” place. Jesus told the disciples to wait for Him and asked Peter, James and John to walk further with Him. Jesus then said to them: “My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.

This had to be a new experience for these disciples who Jesus was obviously grooming for leadership. He confessed to them His distress and grief. The phrase “Keep watch with me” could mean “pray with me” or it could simply mean “sit here with me.” Either way, this is a unique occurrence. Jesus was always so strong. He was the One everyone else turned to. Now He asked for their assistance.

All those times Jesus helped the disciples. All those times He patiently taught them or calmed their fears. Jesus only asked one personal thing (that we know of) from them. And what did they do? They fell asleep.

When Jesus returned from praying you can sense His disappointment, can’t you?

“Couldn’t you watch with me even one hour? 41Keep watch and pray, so that you will not give in to temptation. For the spirit is willing, but the body is weak!”

Have you ever depended on a friend and been disappointed? Have you ever poured out your heart to someone and then realized they were not even listening to you? Have you ever trusted someone with a secret and then found out they were sharing that secret with others? If so, then you know what this kind of disappointment is like.

I found myself angered and disappointed by the disciples . . . at least until I asked myself if I ever disappointed the Lord? It was hard to be angry with the disciples when I am so quick to dismiss what He tells me:

To Love others

To honor Him before all other things

To tell others about Him

To live in a manner that is worthy of the gospel

To forgive just as I have been forgiven

To love God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength.

To be more concerned for others than I am of myself.

If you are like me, you are quick to make excuses. I am sure the disciples could have given us excuses too (it was late, it had been a long day, they were emotionally drained from all Jesus had been telling them.)

But it is not simply about disappointing the Lord. It is also bad strategy for life. Jesus stated that even though these guys meant well, they were weak in their flesh. In other words, they were people more prone do the wrong thing than the right thing. Their intentions were good, but they were much weaker than they thought they were.

These men all claimed they would never turn away from Jesus, they were His friends, they trusted Him, they loved Him but . . . they were putting off strengthening themselves for the battle. They were ignoring the very resources they needed to remain strong. They needed to pray. They needed supernatural help. Maybe they would seek that help tomorrow.

I think we are just like these guys. We hear the Lord’s warning. We take notes. We underline the appropriate verses in our Bibles. We may even talk about these truths with our friends. We think we are equipped for whatever comes but we are not, unless we are clothed in and walking in the Power of God’s Spirit. The only way for that to happen is for us do what the Lord says and stay in close contact with Him through prayer. We must do this with a sense of urgency. This is not like a goal that you set, it is the oxygen we need to breathe!

The Anguish of the Lord

While the disciples slept, Jesus wrestled with the Lord in prayer. You might ask, “How do we know what Jesus prayed if the disciples were sleeping?” That’s a very good question. Perhaps the disciples heard the first part of the prayer before falling asleep. Or, Jesus may have told them what He prayed about while He was with them after the resurrection.

You may wonder, why was Jesus in such anguish? He told his disciples what was going to happen. So, this was not a surprise. He not only knew what was going to happen, and He seemed to embrace it. Why the turmoil?

I think it is important to state here that Scripture does not tell us what the turmoil was. I speculate with a measure of trepidation. I can think of several reasons Jesus was in anguish. First, since Jesus was fully human He faced some of the same things that we face. As a human I am sure He was concerned for the disciples. He knew the grief they would experience and it broke His heart. (Remember, he wept at the tomb of Lazarus and He knew He was about to bring him back to life!) Also, as a human being I can’t imagine Jesus was looking forward to the physical pain. Just like you and I may be anxious about the process of dying, I think the humanity of Christ may have felt much the same way.

Second, Jesus knew the plan was for Him to endure the wrath of God as punishment for sin as our substitute. Romans 3:25 tells us, “God made Him the sacrifice of sin for us.’ The Bible also says this was the only way we could be made right with God.

Again, we tread on very hold ground here. There was no one who understood the horror of God’s wrath against sin better than Jesus. No one even comes close to understanding. He understood the need for one who is Holy to judge sin. But He also understood what it was like to be in perfect fellowship with the Father and the Spirit . . . to be uniquely and completely one. We have nothing to compare it to.

R.C. Sproul writes,

If the only thing that lay before Jesus on the morrow was the experience of death, He would have faced it with a greater serenity than Socrates displayed before he drank the hemlock. Multitudes of courageous men and women through history have faced death calmly. But it was not the prospect of death that provoked this sorrow in Jesus’ soul. It was the experience He would have to pass through before death came, when He would be forsaken by His Father. (Commentary on Matthew)

This is a mind staggering prospect. Notice how Jesus handles this anguish. If this were us, most of us would run to escape the pain. We would head the other direction, say whatever we needed to say, or we would whine to the Lord to get us out of this evil situation.

That is not what Jesus does. Jesus is honest about His anguish and desire to accomplish our salvation without having to endure His Father’s wrath. He doesn’t pretend; He is honest about His feelings. This is a good reminder to us that we don’t have to pretend with God. Pretending creates distance in a relationship; honesty draws people closer.

In His honesty, our Lord is also submissive. He trusts the wisdom of God over the limits of His human existence. He knows what the Lord wills is the best course because the Lord always does what is right. He wanted to be obedient to the Father’s will while also wanting to avoid the anguish He saw as part of this obedience.

Some people consider a prayer like this (saying “not my will but yours”) is a weak prayer. They say it lacks faith. They teach you to tell God what you want and hold on to that desire tenaciously. They say if we are persistent God will give us what we ask for. Jesus is tenaciously seeking obedience to the will of God. He is willing to rest and trust in God’s wisdom as the best course ALWAYS.

I don’t see any greater act of faith than to rest in the will and goodness of God. To surrender our desires confident that God is wiser than we are and His best is always better than what we see as best, is a great testimony of faith.

All throughout the Bible we read stories of men and women who trusted God and found Him faithful . . . often in a different way than anticipated. And when you look back at your life, do you not see this as true? Don’t you see broken pieces of your life taken and made into an incredible work of art through the hands of our Father in Heaven?

When Jesus went into that Garden He was anguished and distressed. I believe, He left that Garden determined, strong, and calm. He had met with His Father in Heaven. They had worked through the issue through the three stints of prayer, and Jesus could rest in the Father’s will. In my mind, it is one of the most powerful and moving pictures in all of life. It is an incredible picture of Jesus’ love for God, and for us.

Conclusions

I want to give you three things we see in this passage: First, we see a warning to heed. Jesus warned the disciples and He warns us that we are not as strong as we think we are. Our spirit may be willing, but our flesh is weak. We saw this illustrated last week in the denial of Jesus by the disciples, even though they were confident such a thing would never happen.

The apostle Paul understood this in 1 Timothy 1:15 he wrote,

This is a trustworthy saying, and everyone should accept it: “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners”—and I am the worst of them all.

Paul remembered he was a sinner saved by grace. He recognized that there was no good in him apart from Christ. We should recognize the same thing. We are weak, but He is strong. We are short-sighted; He sees the big picture. We live for the moment; He is preparing us for eternity. We move forward remembering that apart from Him we can do nothing of lasting value. We must stay close.

Second, we see an example to follow. The Lord’s prayer in the Garden and His attitude as he prays, should be what we are striving for. We should desire to trust Him so completely that we can say “not my will, but yours be done.” There is a catch however, you must mean it! We must get to the point where we stop trying to “make things happen” by our schemes, and our (perceived) power. We should be able to come to Him in the anxious and frightening times, work through our fears to the point where we rest in His peace. We want to learn to trust Him in all things.

Third, we see a Savior to serve and worship. As you watch the agony of Jesus, it is important to remember that this agony was all because of His love for us. He longed for us to have forgiveness so we could not only live forever, but might also know God in all His beauty and greatness.

Our Savior experienced everything we have experienced and more. Hebrews tells us that He is not unacquainted with our grief and pain. He was tempted in every way that we are but with one difference: He overcame the temptation and gained victory. Because of that, He is the One we should turn to in the hardest times of life. There is no love that is greater, no understanding that is deeper, no strength that is stronger, and no wisdom that is wiser. He is the one we can trust above anyone else.

Think also about how Jesus responded to His disciples who all deserted Him. First, He protected them. Second, He restored them. When He rose from the dead He came to them! He didn’t wait for an apology, He extended grace.

The Father’s will for us is to trust the work of Christ on our behalf. He wants us to believe Him when He tells us that Jesus was the sufficient and powerful payment for our sin. He wants us to experience His mercy and grace.

So, Pursue Him. Trust Him. Follow Him. He will not let you down. And even when we let Him down, He will still be there to love us and get us back on the right road. What a Savior!