Robert Wiley - 6/19/19

June 19th, 2019

We gather today to mourn the loss, but also to celebrate the life of Bob Wiley. Bob was a man who worked hard and loved his family, and his loss will be felt by those who knew him for a long time. The death of someone we love is always difficult, but today we turn to the Lord for our comfort. In the book of Psalms we read this truth:

God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble. (Psalm 46:1, NLT)

This is the truth I hold out to you today. In the times when grief feels overwhelming, when the waves of sadness seem like they will overtake you, please remember that the Lord is there, ready to offer His comfort. I challenge you to cling to Him in those times, as He is always ready and willing to help.

Will you pray with me?

Our heavenly father, we come today grateful for Bob’s life, but also very much aware of the hole left in our lives by his death. Help us today as we grieve, Lord. Comfort this family with fond memories and love from each other. Draw us close to yourself and bring us your comfort, we pray in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Robert Franklin Wiley was born September 23rd, 1933 in Oakville, Iowa, the son of Florence “Fuzz” and Mary Wilma Reid Wiley. He attended Morning Sun High School, where he drove a bus during his Jr. and Sr. years and had perfect attendance…until the day they gave the award—which he skipped. He graduated in 1952, then served in the United States Army during the Korean War, leaving the army with the rank of Corporal. He married his wife, Alice F. Hartman in Mediapolis, Iowa on September 30th, 1956. They were married 52 years when she died on February 9th, 2009.

Bob first worked at a rendering plant in Morning Sun and at the Beckman Locker in Mediapolis. He and his wife moved to La Harpe in 1966, where they owned and operated La Harpe Frozen Foods for 33 years, retiring from the business in 1999. Bob just couldn’t stay away from the business, however, and continued to work for Weber Meats in Carthage after he retired.

Bob loved to stay active, and he was an avid member of the La Harpe Lions Club and the La Harpe American Legion Post #301. He was a founding member of the Black Hawk Auto Restorers in Burlington, Iowa, and enjoyed participating in the club for 55 years. He also served as an EMT-A on the La Harpe Ambulance Service until retiring in 2008. He was a fixture at his grandchildren’s and great-grandchildren’s sporting events, and he loved any time he got to spend with them. He loved to visit, play cards, and travel.

Bob died on Friday, June 14th, 2019 at the Great River Hospice House in West Burlington, Iowa. He is survived by his two daughters, Sandra K. Pence and her husband Kevin Shauman, of Kirkwood, Illinois, and Debra and Danny Evans of La Harpe; five grandchildren, Shannon and Felecia Pence, Amber and Jason Duncan, Andrew and Erica Pence, Clifford Evans, and Skyler and Mariah Pence; ten great-grandchildren, Sidney, Taylor, and Sawyer Pence, Jack, Ellie, and Ames Duncan, Raiden Evans, and Adalynn, Levi, and Brinley Pence; one uncle, Clinton Bowman of Burlington; four sisters, Darlyne and Larry Howard of Newton, Iowa, LulaBelle and Claude Stiger of Muscatine, Iowa, and Frances and Clyde Callis of Springfield, Missouri, as well as many nieces and nephews.

He was preceded in death by his wife, Alice, one brother, Kenneth Wiley, and his aunt, Marcella Bowman.

Bob Wiley can easily be described as a hard-working family man. Having grown up through the depression years, he came to appreciate the value of hard work and didn’t feel the need to spend extravagantly on himself. He was known to do whatever he could to save money, and he worked hard, even after he retired—because he just didn’t seem to know any different.

The family would tell you that Bob was not ever eager to spend much money. He would fix whatever he could around the house because he refused to pay someone to do something he knew he could do himself. Most of the time, this worked out pretty well. He was constantly fixing lawnmowers, lamps, and other appliances around the house. He was able to do lots of different things well. Though, the family also remembers the Christmas when Bob decided he needed to move the electrical line for the stove. Bob insisted he had turned the power off to the outlet…but the family discovered that was not the case a few minutes later when the heard him howling from the next room! Needless to say, it was a memorable Christmas dinner!

He fell through the roof at the locker twice, and one time managed to fall into the meat grinder (thankfully it wasn’t on!) These stories almost make it seem like Bob was accident prone or unskilled, but nothing could be further from the truth. He was able to fix most anything, and was always willing to give it a shot.

Bob always walked to work. The family thinks that had something to do with the fact that he always seemed to find money on his walks. Every day he’d walk up to the locker to check on things, and it seemed he always came back with more than he left with. Sandy remembers even when she was a child walking with her dad. He would walk to the laundromat to clean, and she would go with him. She nearly had to run to keep up with him, but she enjoyed getting to work with her dad. He seemed to enjoy the company as well. And if she worked hard, she might even be treated to a Fresca afterwards.

He was proud of his own and his family’s military service. His dad served in World War I, and he was proud to have been a veteran of the Korean War. He didn’t serve on the front lines, but worked with 8” Howitzers and drove tanks in Europe. The story is told that he and his comrades would often race whatever vehicles they were driving that day back to the base, and the loser had to buy beers for the rest of the group. As Bob told it, he never lost—even on the day when he rolled a jeep with his commanding officer in it! He was never the last one back. Everyone agrees that it was probably because he didn’t want to have to buy the beers for everyone else! That fast-driving spirit apparently never left him, because he seemed to drive fast no matter where he was going for the rest of his life. If you were going to ride with him, it would be an adventure.

He was so proud of Clifford’s service in the Army National Guard and his service in Afghanistan. He was thrilled to be able to attend Clifford’s graduation from boot camp. For whatever reason he decided that before everyone left the hotel, they should get a picture with all of them together in the bed! So everyone obliged.

Bob was proud to serve as part of the La Harpe American Legion Post #301, and did so for many years.

Though he wouldn’t spend money on himself, he was happy to do so for his grandkids and great-grandkids. The kids all remember that Bob and Alice always got them gifts that were fancy and fitting with the current trends. They loved to make their grandkids feel special.

Many of the grandkids have fond memories of fishing with Bob. They all have many memories of going on drives to visit family with him as well. Probably no trip they took, however, is as memorable as a trip they were taking to Missouri, when Bob commented on the nice field of wheat he saw out the window. Unfortunately, that wasn’t what the boys heard when he said that. What they heard was, “What a nice field of weed!” Needless to say, they have never looked at a wheat field the same way.

Bob went to as many of his family’s sporting events as he could. He always had to sit as high up in the bleachers as he could get (or his family would let him go), and he loved watching them play. He’d even keep his own score sheet for baseball (and parents always consulted Bob when they wanted to know the score), or he’d keep track of his kids’ stats in other sports. He was there for every single birth until he was unable to do so physically anymore. When Amber was born 8 weeks early, he and Alice had just gotten home when they got the phone call that they needed to go to Iowa City. Alice informed him he didn’t have time to go to the bathroom, they needed to go now. It wasn’t until several hours later, when he was certain that Amber was ok that he finally felt like it was ok to go to the bathroom. He loved his family dearly, and he wanted to make sure they knew that.

The grandkids came to feel like the meat locker was a second home to them. They would come hang out with grandpa while he worked, and Amber said she never really thought about how weird it was to be standing there while Grandpa was butchering a cow until much later in life. When Shannon was a baby, he used to take naps in some of the trays at the locker. Everyone in the family remembers the smell (and taste!) of Bob’s deer sausage. It was delicious! They also remember that he’d become pretty tough when it came to heat, because he always did the dishes after family gatherings, but the water was so hot and full of bleach that no one else could help him! He was not afraid of hard work.

Bob loved the simple things in life. He liked to lay down for naps in the afternoon if he could. But he would do so on the floor. He had his spot in the house where he liked to lay. When he moved to the nursing home, this freaked everyone out for a while, because they kept thinking Bob had fallen out of bed. He hadn’t, he just was comfortable on the floor.

As much as Bob loved the simple things, he also hated cheese and green beans. I was told he might be known to throw something back at you if you served him one of those two items. He had choice words for the kitchen staff whenever either of those two things were on the menu at the nursing home. He did love Debbie’s scalloped potatoes, but that may have been because he didn’t know there was cheese in them. On a trip one time they stopped at McDonald’s and he had to use the bathroom, so he told the person ordering that he’d have whatever they were having. He ended up with a cheeseburger, but he ate it and didn’t complain.

Since Bob rarely spent money on himself, the family liked to get nice things for him. One of the most memorable gifts they got for him was a leaf blower. He was thrilled with it, even if he couldn’t seem to come up with the right name for the device!

He loved Alice deeply. They had their moments (including the infamous fight where she threw potatoes at him, only to find months later a potato plant growing alongside one of their potted plants), but he cherished her, and was deeply saddened when she died. For their 50th anniversary, the girls threw them a big party (and might have gone a bit overboard), but the highlight of the night was when Bob surprised his bride by once again getting down on one knee and asking her to marry him again. After she happily agreed, they renewed their vows right there. It was a moment the family all remembers as a wonderful picture of their love.

Bob wasn’t a fancy guy, but he knew what he liked, and he understood what was most important. He understood that the finer things in life weren’t things you could buy with money. They were things like time spent with family, the satisfaction of a job done well, and memories that will never fade. He chose to spend his life on the things that mattered—and we are all greater because of it.

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Funerals are hard, because it is difficult to say goodbye to someone we love, knowing we will not see them again in this life. Funerals also remind us that matters of faith have real significance. It is easy to ignore the difficult questions of what happens after you die, but when we are faced with the death of a loved one, those questions become much more important.

I think this is why Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, said this,

Better to spend your time at funerals than at parties. After all, everyone dies—so the living should take this to heart. 3Sorrow is better than laughter, for sadness has a refining influence on us. 4A wise person thinks a lot about death,while a fool thinks only about having a good time. (Ecclesiastes 7:2-4, NLT)

The fact is, in the times of mourning and grief, we ask ourselves the questions that are easy to put off at other times of life. Questions like, is this it? Will we get to see Bob again? Is there life beyond the grave?

Fortunately the Bible gives us answers to these questions. The answers we see in the Bible are trustworthy, because Jesus actually experienced death and came back to life again. Therefore, His testimony about what happens when you die is the most trustworthy one there is!

Listen to what he said to his friends Mary and Martha after their brother, Lazarus died.

25Jesus told her,“I am the resurrection and the life.Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying.26Everyone who lives in me and believes in me will never ever die. Do you believe this, Martha?” (John 11:25-26, NLT)

Jesus tells Martha that anyone who believes in Him (meaning that they trust in Him to forgive them and follow Him with the way they live their lives), would live even though they died. And the person who lives and believes in Jesus will ultimately live forever. In other places scripture, we learn that those who follow Jesus will live forever with Him in Heaven. This is great news when we stand at the casket of someone we love.

I can’t say where Bob’s faith was. I know he had some bad experiences with the church, and so he didn’t attend very often. What I can tell you is this: if Bob Wiley trusted in Jesus Christ as his savior, then today he is more alive than he ever has been. Today he has been delivered from a broken-down body and been restored to life as it is meant to be. He has been reunited with believers who have gone before him. I hope that Bob indeed had such a faith.

But we must not miss the last thing Jesus said to Martha—he asked if she believed this. That is the question each of us must wrestle with today. Solomon said it is better to spend time at funerals than parties because funerals help us to remember and wrestle with the most important questions. So let me challenge you to wrestle with that question for yourself today. Do you believe this? Do you believe that Jesus Christ really came to the earth to live, die, and rise again in order to save people like you and me? Are you willing to trust Him with your life and your eternity? If so, then you need to follow Him in all that you do. Today we are reminded that this is a question we must not put off—because death is something every one of us will experience. So we need to be ready. Take the time today to make sure you are.

Bob Wiley was a wonderful man who will be missed greatly. We will miss his smile, his jokes, his presence, and his love for his family and friends. Today we say goodbye to Bob because his life on this earth has ended, but we must not forget the fact that Bob Wiley also lived—and he lived well. I think there are several lessons we can learn from his life.

You don’t need a lot of fancy things in order to be happy—so don’t waste your life chasing after the things you don’t have. Instead, learn to be content in the simple things.

If you love someone, you should make them a priority (by being there, by taking an interest in their lives, and by cheering for them in all they do). When you do, you give them strength and help them to know they’re not alone.

Sometimes it’s good to take a walk—you never know what treasures await you.

You shouldn’t be afraid of working hard. An honest day’s work is something to be proud of.

Sometimes you just need to take a nap, so you’ll be rested to face the rest of the day.

Investing your time in others is never a waste—it’s an investment that will yield rich dividends.

Learn to laugh at your mistakes and learn from them. If you do, they’ll become fun stories, rather than great tragedies.

Never be afraid to try new things—it’s the best way to grow as a person.

Bob Wiley was a person whose life touched many others. He leaves a legacy of love, hard work, and dedication. I think that’s a legacy he would be proud of, and one we might like to strive for as well.

Will you pray with me?

Our Heavenly Father, we thank you for the life of Bob Wiley. We stand here today with aching hearts as we think about having to say goodbye to him. It is a difficult and painful thing to say goodbye to someone we love so much. So Lord, I pray that you would comfort this family as they grieve. Help them to be ever mindful of the many memories they have of their times with Bob, and to continue to learn the lessons he taught us all in life. Draw them close to each other in times of sadness, and draw them close to yourself. Bring them comfort and peace in the days, months, and years ahead. We ask in Jesus’ name. Amen.