Different Kinds of People

Ecclesiastes 4:7-16

People are unique. We all have a specific DNA, you have unique fingerprints, we have different color hair, were raised in different families, had different experiences in school (even when you went to the same school), and we are all pursuing different dreams.

In spite of the differences, there are also things that we share: we share a common heritage in Jesus Christ, we share a common citizenship, we live in the same part of the country. We are all different and yet in many ways, the same.

This morning, as we look at Ecclesiastes 4:7-16 we are going to be introduced to three different types of people. Yet, because of many of the things we share in common, you will likely see yourself reflected in one or perhaps all of these groups of people. It is my hope we will be instructed by Solomon’s reflections.

The first kind of person is in verses 7-8

7Again, I saw vanity under the sun: 8one person who has no other, either son or brother, yet there is no end to all his toil, and his eyes are never satisfied with riches, so that he never asks, “For whom am I toiling and depriving myself of pleasure?” This also is vanity and an unhappy business.

The Driven Person 7-8

The first person is the one who is driven to accumulate more and more. They never have enough. They are constantly comparing what they have to what others have and their goal is to "WIN." Unfortunately, this drive to work and make more and more often alienates them from others. If they had a family at one time, they often have one no longer because the family felt abandoned.

Pastor Matt Chandler said he has never had a girl come into his office in tears and tell him that she hates her dad because he used to drop her off at school in a beat-up old Ford, and it was so embarrassing she has never been able to forgive him. He’s never had a girl tell him she hates her dad because he didn’t buy her a pony or send her on the school skiing trip. But he has met plenty of young women whose dad had a $60,000 car and could have paid for the whole school to go on the skiing trip, yet these women have not known the love of their father and so have been given a thoroughly warped perception of their own value.

Charles Dickens captured the kind of person we are talking about here in his A Christmas Carol. Ebenezer Scrooge is the epitome of the greedy person who lives life tight-fisted.

It is possible to be so career-focused you push everyone else away. It is not usually intentional. Others get tired of waiting for this person to have some time for them. The driven person shrugs and decided to “show them” and are even more driven.

There was an occasion when someone shouted to Jesus

“Teacher, please tell my brother to divide our father’s estate with me.”

14Jesus replied, “Friend, who made me a judge over you to decide such things as that?” 15Then he said, “Beware! Guard against every kind of greed. Life is not measured by how much you own.” [1]

How many families have been torn apart because of greed? How many marriages have died because one partner worked all the time and didn't have room in their life for their mate?

I have been watching the ESPN documentary called, THE LAST DANCE. It is an account of the last year the championship Chicago Bulls were together. It was a fascinating trip down memory lane, but it was also a very inside look at the life and career of Michael Jordan. Jordan is still one of the best-known figures in the world. He was an athlete who worked to give his best all the time and demanded others do the same.

At one point in the documentary Jordan said, "People say they would like to be me for a day, but they don't want my life." Jordan related that he looked forward to going on the road because he knew he would be holed up (some might say imprisoned) in his hotel room for most of the day and he could enjoy the quiet. The documentary showed Jordan being mobbed everywhere he went, by fans and by the media. He said he couldn't go anywhere because people would not leave him alone. And all that adulation only placed more and more expectation on him to do more and more.

I am not surprised that Michael has kept a pretty low profile since retiring from basketball. He has been to the mountain top and found that it is a painfully lonely and exhausting place to be.

The message from God is not: have better priorities in your life if you want to be happy! The message is: trying to find meaning in life apart from God is not only a dead-end, it is idolatry. It is the notion that if I work hard enough, make enough, and achieve enough we will be happy. Our life is not empty because we don’t have the right stuff or simply need to work harder. We have no meaning in our life because we are far from God!

This leads us into the second kind of person.

The Person with Friends 9-12

9Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. 10For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! 11Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? 12And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Ralph Keys, author of We the Lonely People, says that above all else we Americans value mobility, convenience, and privacy. 'Of these," he adds, "privacy is our most cherished value."

Back in in 1985 Chuck Swindoll wrote:

"Our overemphasis on privacy has caused us to value technology far more than relationships." (Living Along the Ragged Edge).

That reality has not gotten better with the passage of time! Now you can’t go anywhere and not see someone who is engrossed in their phone or with headphones on to send a message to others to leave them alone. Families go out to eat and everyone is texting, checking social media, or addressing work issues. They went out together but they were not together.

Solomon says, when you have someone to travel with you through life, you will have a better return for your labor. Life will be more enjoyable and more manageable. Your investment will bring a richer dividend that goes well beyond the financial gains. You will be more effective as a person because you can see beyond yourself.

Solomon gives us three reasons why companionship is so valuable. First, friends are there to pick you up when you feel defeated. Those times when you are so hard on yourself a friend will remind you that there are still some worthwhile traits in you. In other words, they believe in you when you may not even believe in yourself. Men need this as much a women do, but are ashamed to admit it. One of the things I love about our Men's Bible Study is that it is a group of friends who are willing to support and help each other.

Second, Solomon says a friend or companion will help you keep warm. This obviously is true of marriage but it also broader application. These are the people who give you support when you are the most vulnerable. They are the people who are there when you are in need.

They help you through that first day in a new schoolThey are the ones who sit with you in a hospital waiting room or are there to pray with you before a serious surgery.They go with you as you go to apply for unemployment or try to figure out the whole Medicare supplement mess.They hold you up when your relationship has disintegratedThey continue to check in with you long after the funeral is over for someone you loveThey listen and celebrate with you when you reach a noteworthy accomplishment

We all need, and long for, such people in our lives.

Finally, Solomon tells us a friend will help us stand against an antagonist. They will defend you when you are attacked by others, and they will stand with you when others walk away.

These people will stand with you in the times when you are attacked by Satan. They will be there even when you are giving in to or playing with, temptation. They will remind you of where your hope resides. They will tell you the truth you need to hear, even when you don't want to hear it. These courageous and loyal friends are extremely valuable and rare.

The Bible is filled with these kinds of friendships: Moses and Aaron, Joshua and Caleb, David and Jonathan, Naomi and Ruth, Esther and Mordecai, Elijah and Elisha, Paul and Barnabas, Peter and Paul.

Here’s my question: Is God telling us we need to work harder to cultivate more friendships so we can be happy? Or is he pointing to another form of idolatry that says: if I can just get in with the right group of friends, if I could cultivate supportive relationships, life will be good?

God is all for friendships. He created us to be in families so we might have support. He has provided the idea of friendship to help us in the journey called life. Friendship is good. HOWEVER, friendships will not save us! Only God can save us! Gaining a greater following, getting more “likes” on Facebook, being more popular, WILL NOT bring us the peace we are looking for. That peace comes ONLY through a relationship with Christ.

There are people who choose what church they will attend by where their friends go to church. They like the music. They like the atmosphere. They talk about how warm and wonderful the people are. It is great to have warm and wonderful people. We want to cultivate those relationships here! But . . . that is not a good reason to choose a church! We should become part of a faith community (the church) first and foremost because it proclaims the Word of God and is solid in proclaiming the Gospel of salvation by grace through faith alone!

Solomon says a threefold cord is not easily broken. We are stronger as we stand together. This is the purpose of the church! It is not a social club, but a place where people have experienced the transforming power of God’s grace and are working together to honor the Lord. God saved us and placed us in our family of faith. This is where we encourage each other, refine each other, worship with each other, and at times correct each other.

The first relationship we need to develop is our relationship with the Lord. We do this by drawing near to listen (we’ll talk more about that next week). We must humble ourselves (rather than promote ourselves). We must obey God’s Word and serve Him with all of our heart.

In fact, we make friends much the same way: listen (take an interest in other people rather than assume they need (and want) to know all about you). Approach people with humility seeking to learn from them rather than trying to impress them with how fortunate they are to know you.

Friends are God’s gift to the Christian on their pilgrimage through life. We should celebrate and cherish our friends. The old adage is true: If you want to have friends, you must first be a friend to someone else.

Solomon has one more kind of person he points to.

13Better was a poor and wise youth than an old and foolish king who no longer knew how to take advice. 14For he went from prison to the throne, though in his own kingdom he had been born poor. 15I saw all the living who move about under the sun, along with that youth who was to stand in the king’s place. 16There was no end of all the people, all of whom he led. Yet those who come later will not rejoice in him. Surely this also is vanity and a striving after wind.

The Person who has Grown Stale

This is a picture of something we are far too familiar with in public life: someone who has been in the saddle too long and has lost touch with others. This is one of the things that has people calling for term limits on public officials. Sometimes officials become professional politicians and lose sight of their responsibility to act on behalf of the people rather than broker for power. But it is not just in politics. We see it in many other areas,

The manager at work who is just collecting a paycheckA teacher who has lost that sense of creativity and enthusiasmThe Pastor who no longer feels the need to grow or no longer feels the urgency of the gospelThe athlete who is trying to ride only on their natural ability and has stopped working to get better.The employee who is no longer working hard but looking for how they can do the least amount of work and still be paid.

We have a phrase for such people. We say they are "phoning it in." I wonder if Solomon saw a bit of himself here. He was the wisest man alive. He had great riches. It seems he started to forget who it was who put him in the position of power. He married hundreds of women, set up places of worship for foreign gods, and generally was drifting from his relationship with God. I like to think Ecclesiastes is an honest re-telling of what Solomon himself discovered in his life through painful reflection.

We will all drift if we stop growing, reaching, cherishing, and enjoying the work we do. If you find yourself getting stale in your faith,

Recount the realities of your salvation. I find it highly motivating to stop and reflect on what God has done for me through Christ. He took a spiritually dead person and made me alive! He took a deadened heart and is bringing it back to life. He has given me His Holy Spirit to lead, guide, comfort, and assure me. When I am getting lazy and stop and remember what Christ has done for me, I want to share it with others. I want to find a way to introduce others to this Jesus. Complacency gives way to enthusiastic service for the One who changed my life.Read a recommended Christian book perhaps on a brand new subjectStudy from a different version of the BibleGet involved in a new class or Bible StudyBegin a ministry that is weighing on your heart.Expand your circle of Christian friendsMake time to spend with someone who IS vibrant and growing in faith

I believe that many of those who have fallen deeply into sin; whether in ministry, business or in their personal life; did so because they stopped growing. When we become too satisfied with ourselves, it is easy to get lazy and grow stale. And, as Solomon observes, once you grow stale, you are soon out of a job.

CONCLUSIONS

The world around us tells us the way to be happy and successful is to make lots of money, advance in the company, be popular with those around you, and build a support network for when you need more help. Solomon gives us practical advice but we receive that advice with the insight of the gospel message burning in our heart.

Let me give you a few final lessons. First, remind yourself that money cannot bring happiness. It is a means of exchange but money in and of itself has no power to instill happiness. The only way to find peace with God is by surrendering to the truth about your own sin and turn to Christ as the only One who can save you.

Second, we all need friends. The friendship we should most diligently foster is our relationship with Christ. He is the friend who sticks closer than a brother. He knows you better than you know yourself. He wants more for you than you know to even dream about. Approach others to learn from them rather than to impress them with how much they can learn from you.

Third, Stay fresh. Look for new ways to use what you are already doing. Use your skills to help someone else. Stay open to the leading of God's Spirit. Keep having fun in the journey and you will find that other people are much more enjoyable to work with and many of those people will be happy to walk with you on this adventure we call faith.

Finally, start at the right place. If you want to find meaning, purpose, and satisfaction in life you must start by entering into a relationship with Jesus. There is no other way to come into a saving relationship with God. He must be FIRST in your life. Anything that is before Him is an idol. As long as we look to idols to fulfill us and give us meaning we will drift away from God. But once you stop running away from Him and begin running TO Him . . . your life will change. You will discover the peace you have been looking for in all the wrong places.

[1] Lk 12:13–15. New Living Translation

Different Kinds of People - Ecclesiastes 4:7-16