Joy In Loneliness

NOTE:

This is a manuscript, and not a transcript of this message. The actual presentation of the message differed from the manuscript through the leading of the Holy Spirit. Therefore, it is possible, and even likely that there is material in this manuscript that was not included in the live presentation and that there was additional material in the live presentation that is not included in this manuscript.

Engagement

Earlier this year Cigna completed its second annual study on loneliness. That study found that 61% of the people surveyed reported that they sometimes of often feel lonely, a 7% increase over their first study a year prior to that. The numbers were even higher among younger adults age 18-22, where the number of people sometimes or always feeling alone was 73%.

Although I’ve sensed this intuitively, the study also confirmed my suspicions about the impact of social media on loneliness in our culture. The study found a close correlation between the amount of time people spend on social media and their level of loneliness. The more time a person spends on social media, the more likely he or she is likely to be lonely.

It’s not hard to understand why that is the case. While most people have hundreds, or even thousands of so called “friends” on social media, most have only a handful of people, at best, who are the kind of genuine friends who actually know them and on whom they could count in a crisis.

Tension

Unfortunately, the church isn’t immune to this trend. Even though it shouldn’t be the case, there are a lot of lonely people in the body of Christ. But, the solution to this problem is not just to develop some genuine friendships, as important as that may be. Together, we’ll learn together that there is something even more important that we need to do if we want to find joy in the midst of our loneliness.

Truth

Beginning this morning, we’ll be spending ten weeks studying the book of Philippians. I’m looking forward to our time in that short book for several reasons:

Even though it is short, it provides great insight into many core Christian doctrines.

It is focused on relationships both with those in the body of Christ and with those who are not, and it especially teaches us how to deal with those we might not agree with.

Most importantly, it will help us learn how to have joy, even in the midst of difficult circumstances.

Before we jump into today’s passage, let’s take a few moments to talk about the background for Paul’s letter.

Paul first visited Philippi during his second missionary journey around 51 AD (see Acts 16). After casting a demon out of a young girl, he is jailed, There he leads the jailer and his family to put their faith in Jesus and baptizes them in the middle of the night and then travels to other nearby towns. From that short stay, a great church is born there in Philippi.

Roughly ten years later, Paul is given the ultimate “stay at home” order. He is in a Roman prison, awaiting trial before Caesar. The prisons of that time were much different than the ones we are familiar with today. Paul was likely under house arrest, chained to a guard at all times. But he could receive visitors and even preach and teach. Unlike today, the prisoners were not provided with meals or other needs so they were dependent on family and friends for those things.

So when the Philippian church heard about his imprisonment, they sent Epaphroditus to Rome with a monetary gift to help meet Paul’s physical needs. While in Rome Epaphroditus became ill and almost died. Eventually he regained his health and Paul sends him back to Philippi the letter we will be studying for a while.

Even though he is in prison, the overall theme of the letter is joy, which is why I’ve titled this series “Joy for the Journey”. Paul uses the words “joy” and the related word “rejoice” 14 times in this short letter.

There is one more overall matter we need to discuss before we look at today’s passage. Joy is not the same as happiness. We live in a world that seems to be obsessed with trying to find happiness. But even when we think we have found it, we discover that it is only temporary because it is dependent on our circumstances which are guaranteed to change eventually. Joy, on the other hand, is developed by having an eternal perspective that comes from an intimate relationship with the One who never changes - Jesus. We will see this distinction each week as we journey through the book of Philippians.

With that background in mind, let’s read today’s passage:

Philippians 1:1–11 ESV

1 Paul and Timothy, servants of Christ Jesus, To all the saints in Christ Jesus who are at Philippi, with the overseers and deacons: 2 Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. 3 I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, 4 always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy, 5 because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now. 6 And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. 7 It is right for me to feel this way about you all, because I hold you in my heart, for you are all partakers with me of grace, both in my imprisonment and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel. 8 For God is my witness, how I yearn for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus. 9 And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, 10 so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, 11 filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.

There is so much that we could learn from this passage, but here is the idea I want to focus on this morning:

Finding joy in my loneliness occurs when I develop gospel partnerships built on a common mission and common grace

If there is anyone who would have experienced loneliness, it would have been Paul. He was always on the move and rarely stayed in one place for long. That’s not altogether different than our world today where many people never put down roots and develop a lot of long term relationships. Throughout his ministry Paul also faced a lot of difficult circumstances - injustice, mob riots, wrongful imprisonment and beatings. But in the midst of all that, we see in verse 4 that he prays with joy. We find the reason he is able to do that in verse 5:

Philippians 1:5 ESV

5 because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now.

I want to spend some time this morning talking about the word translated “partnership” in that verse, because that one word is going to be the key to our understanding of how we can have joy in the midst of our loneliness. That is the English translation of a Greek word that some of you might be familiar with:

Greek “koinonia” =

“fellowship” or “joint participation”

The KJV and some other translations translate that word as “fellowship”, which is how it is translated several other places in the New Testament in the ESV translation I am using. While “fellowship” is an accurate translation, we do tend to use that word in a way that obscures its meaning. If I were to ask you to share the first word that came to your mind when I said the word “fellowship” I’m pretty sure that the most common answers would be “potluck”, “refreshments” or some other reference to food. Perhaps some of you, like me, were part of a church that had a “Fellowship Hall”, which is a place you went to eat. And even if we don’t associate it with food, we probably think of it as something like “warm friendship” with other disciples of Jesus.

There is certainly nothing wrong with those things and they can be part of Biblical fellowship, but they don’t adequately express the meaning of the way Paul uses that term here. The word literally means “in common”. In the Greek culture it was frequently used to describe a business partnership. If two men bought a boast and started a fishing business together, that was koinonia. They invested in that business together in order to carry out a common mission.

Here in Philippians that common mission is the gospel. Even though Paul had often been isolated, he had continued to have gospel partnerships even with those he didn’t have physical contact with any more. He and his fellow disciples in Philippi had been jointly participating in the work of advancing the gospel from the day that Lydia had opened her home to Paul until the moment he was writing this letter. Even though he hadn’t been physically present with the people of Philippi for ten years, they had been working together in their common mission of advancing the gospel.

I’m sure the form of that partnership had changed often over those ten years. And it had certainly moved into a new phase as Paul wrote this letter. As part of that partnership the church in Philippi sent Paul financial resources to help him continue his ministry and in turn, Paul sent them back a letter to encourage them and instruct them in how to live out their faith. But what had not changed was the common mission that they were working together to fulfill.

Paul expands on this idea of a gospel partnership further in verse 7:

Philippians 1:7 ESV

7 It is right for me to feel this way about you all, because I hold you in my heart, for you are all partakers with me of grace, both in my imprisonment and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel.

I want to call your attention to the word translated “partakers” in that verse. Not surprisingly, the underlying Greek word is built on the same root word as koinonia. It is a compound word that literally means “to be a partner with”. And notice what it is that they have in common here - the grace that has been extended to them through Jesus. In fact, as you look through our passage you will note that Jesus is central to this entire section of Scripture. He is mentioned seven times in the first eleven verses of the letter.

What Paul is describing here is truly a gospel partnership that is far deeper than any human friendship that we could ever have. Like many of you, I think back to some of the friendships that I’ve had over the years. I think about some of the good friends I had in high school and college - seemingly unbreakable friendships with men who were even part of our wedding party. But today I have little or no contact with those friends, partly due to distance in some cases, but certainly due more to the fact that we don’t share that common grace and common mission.

On the other hand, I do have some gospel partnerships with a few people that are so deep that even if we’ve been apart for years, we pick right up where we left off because of what we have in common in Jesus. And I am particularly grateful for the gospel partnership I have with our Elders and with some others here at TFC. I know that that we share the same grace and the same mission and that we can count on each other because of that bond.

So I think I do understand at least to some degree how these gospel partnerships enabled Paul to have great joy even though as a prisoner he was somewhat isolated. And what is really encouraging to me is that Paul shares some things here that can help us to develop those same kind of gospel partnerships today.

Application

HOW TO DEVELOP GOSPEL PARTNERSHIPS

If there was anyone who knew how to develop gospel partnerships it was Paul. And his prayer in verses 9-11 gives us some pretty good guidance on how we are to do that. That prayer begins with these words:

And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more...

Paul doesn’t really disclose the object of our love here, so the question is: “To whom is our love to be directed - Jesus, other disciples, those who are not yet disciples?” And the answer to that question is “yes”. I think he leaves this ambiguous because he has all three in mind.

Before we take a few minutes to talk about each of those three objects of my love, let me first make a general comment about the kind of love that Paul is writing about here.

As we’ve been taking about the central idea in this passage - koinonia - is all about what we have in common. It is not about my individual rights. In fact, I challenge you to find even one passage in the Bible about seeking my own rights. The Bible, from cover to cover, is about giving up my rights for the good of others - a theme which is best illustrated by what Jesus did for us on the cross. We’ll spend a lot more time talking about that when we get to chapter 2. Loving Jesus, loving other disciples and loving those who are not yet disciples all require that kind of love.

With that in mind, let’s look briefly at how to love all three.

Love Jesus

As I hope you can see by now, joy does not depend on our circumstances. Instead it is rooted in an intimate, living relationship with Jesus. That is why this entire section of Paul’s letter is filled with references to Him. Therefore, it is impossible for you to have genuine joy in your life without first entering in a personal relationship with Jesus.

In verse 6, Paul reminds us that Jesus wants that kind of relationship even more than I do. He is the one who initiates the relationship by beginning a good work in me. And He promises to carry that work to completion. But I also have some responsibility in that process. I have to respond to His invitation by giving up my right to live my life on my own terms and by putting my trust completely in Jesus alone. I have to acknowledge that I bring nothing to the table and that I am 100% dependent on what He did on the cross to pay the penalty for my sin and to clothe me with His righteousness.

And day-by-day, moment-by-moment, I also have to live out that faith by doing my very best to live according to the blueprint for my life that God has given to me in His Word. If I am a “partner in the gospel” that means that I will enter into the life that Jesus lived - one governed by His devotion to the Scriptures.

As Jesus reminded His disciples on the night before His crucifixion:

John 14:21 ESV

21 Whoever has my commandments and keeps them, he it is who loves me. And he who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I will love him and manifest myself to him.”

Love other disciples

As John points out, it is impossible to genuinely love Jesus and not love His disciples:

1 John 4:20 ESV

20 If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.

As your read through this section, you can’t help but see Paul’s genuine love for his fellow disciples. He thanks God for them. He says that he holds them in his heart. He yearns for them with the affection of Jesus. That is because his relationship with them was more than a mere friendship. His relationship with the people there in Philippi brought him joy because it was based on something much bigger than either Paul or the Philippians - it was about the gospel of Jesus Christ. They had a spiritual bond that ran deeper than any human tie.

Mere human friendships that are not rooted in common grace and a common mission can never produce lasting joy. That is why it is so important that all of us take intentional steps to get connected with other disciples in Jesus-centered relationships that are focused on what we have in common in Jesus and then work together to bring the kingdom of God near to others who are not already a part of that kingdom.

Love those who are not yet disciples

Our partnership in the gospel means that we will choose to love those who are not yet disciples of Jesus. Admittedly, that is not always an easy thing to do. Since we live in a fallen world we find ourselves surrounded by people who are going to hate Jesus and hate those who associate with Him, just as Jesus warned:

John 15:18–19 ESV

18 “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. 19 If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.

But we are called to love those people nonetheless. In our weekday online Bible study, we’ve been studying 1 John. And one of the consistent themes we’ve seen there is that the kind of love we’re talking about here is not an emotion but rather a decision. That idea is summed up really well in this one verse:

1 John 3:18 ESV

18 Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.

That means that even if you don’t like someone you can love that person with your actions.

Finding joy in my loneliness occurs when I develop gospel partnerships built on a common mission and common grace

And I do that by loving Jesus, loving other disciples and loving those who are not yet disciples.

Action

I want to encourage all of us to make this really practical. So I’m going to ask you to take out the outline in your worship guide or just grab a blank piece of paper. Then I want you to spend some time in prayer and ask God to reveal how you can apply this message by doing three things this week:

One thing is will do to love Jesus

One thing I will do to love another disciple

One thing I will do to love someone who is not yet a disciple

Inspiration

We live in a world where people are frantically trying to find the one thing that is going to make them happy. That idea is even memorialized in our Declaration of Independence where we are told we have the right to the “pursuit of happiness”. In that pursuit, some turn to substances like drugs and alcohol. Others try to find happiness in their jobs or in material possessions. Still others try to find happiness in human relationships. In fact, there is almost an endless list of things people run after to try and find happiness. But the problem is that if you live your life constantly pursuing happiness, you will never find real joy.

Your happiness is not God’s ultimate goal for your life. Do you know how I can be so confident in saying that? All I have to do is look to the example of Jesus. I’ll guarantee you He wasn’t happy when He was insulted and beaten. He wasn’t happy when his friends deserted Him. He wasn’t happy when He was nailed to the cross. But He did have joy.

Hebrews 12:2 ESV

2 looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

Although His circumstances were far from ideal, Jesus had joy because He refused to let His circumstances dictate whether or not He had joy. His joy came from His confidence in God’s grace and His commitment to the mission His Father had given Him. Even in our deepest loneliness we can find joy by following His example.