Family Intervention

The clearest lesson that the Lord has taught me about the church through the COVID 19 epidemic is that God created the church to relate to each other as a family. Family is suppose to care about each other and live life together. I always knew that to be a biblical truth.

Scripture uses the metaphor of family for the church in a number of places. Notice what he calls the church in Eph. 2:19.

Ephesians 2:19 ESV

19 So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God,

We are the “household of God” or “God’s family.” I always knew that to be truth but I didn’t feel it’s significance until it was gone.

Of course, what marks a family more than anything is a natural love for each other that carries us through anything. We share our hearts with each other, our time together, our spiritual growth often comes through relationships with each other.

So Paul is using the metaphor of family our verses this morning. As a pastor, we often minister to people going through hard times and they will say, “Part of my problem is that I grew up in a “dysfunctional family.”

Then they will describe some kind of problems. Their mom and dad never got alone. Or, the may describe some kind of verbal or physical abuse. They are often surprised when I tell them there is no other kind of family than a dysfunctional family. There is just varying degrees of dysfunction.

The reason is that every family is made of sinners. And so, no family is going to be perfect all the time.

The same is true with the family of the church. Every church to some degree will be dysfunctional. The reason is that we may be saved saints, but we still struggle with a sinful flesh that leads us to sin. The health of the church comes not through being perfect, but in how we minister to believers who are struggling with sin.

Paul instruction to Timothy is when you have a believer or believers who have fallen into sin or rebelling in sin we are to love them like they were our actual nuclear family, because a family is what we are.

He is going to mention 4 groups of sinning believers that we should treat like fathers, mothers, brothers, and sisters.

The church that Timothy was sent to lead was dysfunctional in a lot of areas.

-Some had abandoned sound doctrine and godliness (1:5-6; 2:8). Some had shipwrecked their faith (1:19).

-There were women who wanted to challenge the role of men in the church. (2:9-15).

-There were leaders who were not qualified to be church leaders, so Paul had to make the qualification clear (3:1-13).

-Some teachers were teaching doctrine the Paul said were demonic (4:1-5)

-As we will see, in coming weeks, they struggled to find a plan to help widows.

This was a dysfunctional family that prevented the church from making disciples and truly loving each other, their community, and God like they were called to.

So this is why Jesus introduces the concept of church discipline to his church. When a believer has fallen into sin we realize that people we love are in trouble and they need help.

The easy thing to do is to just stick our head in the sand and act like it doesn’t exist. But, that is not love. Jesus taught us what love looked like in this situation.

Matthew 18:15–18 ESV

15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. 18 Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.

Scripture teaches over and over that believers must confront sin in the community of faith. We must speak truth.

Paul told Titus in Titus 2:15.

Titus 2:15 ESV

15 Declare these things; exhort and rebuke with all authority. Let no one disregard you.

But, notice the manner the truth must be spoken in.

Ephesians 4:15 ESV

15 Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ,

Both sides of that are important. Truth and love. What saves sinning believers from further down fall for people to care enough to speak truth. But not in a way to punish the bad people. But in a way that loves our family who are in trouble.

1 Timothy 5:1 ESV

1 Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers,

What I want you to notice from this is the command “do not rebuke…but encourage.” (5:1). That’s the command for every group that he is going to mention.

The word “rebuke” here means that we are not to drop the hammer on them for doing something wrong. Our job is not to punish. Our job is be the people that would swim to a drowning person to save their life.

He tells us to “encourage.” It could also be translated “strengthen.” Because right now they are weak. The word is closely related to what the Holy Spirit is called a “paraclete.” (advocate or helper).

We are used by the Holy Spirit to help them.

We can be the bearer of their burdens.

Galatians 6:1–2 ESV

1 Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. 2 Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

So, we can help sinning believers in a way that shows genuine love.

2 Timothy 2:24–25 ESV

24 And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, 25 correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth,

We do this by:

I. Treating older men like your father. (5:1b)

1 Timothy 5:1 ESV

1 Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers,

Paul told Timothy to confront sinning older men in his church with the same respect that he would show his own father.

The Bible teaches us to respect older people.

Leviticus 19:32 ESV

32 “You shall stand up before the gray head and honor the face of an old man, and you shall fear your God: I am the Lord.

Proverbs 20:29 ESV

29 The glory of young men is their strength, but the splendor of old men is their gray hair.

God says that if live long enough to have grey hair, your should be honored by younger people. That doesn’t change just because you are addressing an older man who is in sin.

The first illustration that comes to mind is when Nathan confronts David over his sin with Bathsheba. It’s not necessarily an age thing, but David is the king who his worthy of honor in his Kingdom despite what he had done.

David had force Bathsheba to have an affair with him and then had her husband killed by moving him to the front lines in a war they were in. In 2 Samuel 12, the Lord sent the prophet Nathan to confront King David for his sin.

I’m sure Nathan didn’t love that idea. It would have been easier to do nothing. But that was not an option that God would entertain. But instead of dropping the hammer on David, Nathan told David a story.

2 Samuel 12:1–7 ESV

1 And the Lord sent Nathan to David. He came to him and said to him, “There were two men in a certain city, the one rich and the other poor. 2 The rich man had very many flocks and herds, 3 but the poor man had nothing but one little ewe lamb, which he had bought. And he brought it up, and it grew up with him and with his children. It used to eat of his morsel and drink from his cup and lie in his arms, and it was like a daughter to him. 4 Now there came a traveler to the rich man, and he was unwilling to take one of his own flock or herd to prepare for the guest who had come to him, but he took the poor man’s lamb and prepared it for the man who had come to him.” 5 Then David’s anger was greatly kindled against the man, and he said to Nathan, “As the Lord lives, the man who has done this deserves to die, 6 and he shall restore the lamb fourfold, because he did this thing, and because he had no pity.” 7 Nathan said to David, “You are the man! Thus says the Lord, the God of Israel, ‘I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you out of the hand of Saul.

David found a way to be gentile but truthful. God used this story to bring David to repentance. We don’t have to sacrifice respect to speak truth.

II. Treating young men like brothers.

1 Timothy 5:1 ESV

1 Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers,

I think this means we don’t take an air of superiority over younger men just because they may not be in leadership positions. We treat the with the care that we would our brothers who we may be contemporaries with.

Again we have to find the balance of truth and compassion. Listen to 2 Thess. 3:14-15

2 Thessalonians 3:14–15 ESV

14 If anyone does not obey what we say in this letter, take note of that person, and have nothing to do with him, that he may be ashamed. 15 Do not regard him as an enemy, but warn him as a brother.

I know that it’s not perfect, but I think about about the contemporaries of Paul and Peter who were both apostles. Paul had been called to be an apostle to the Gentiles. Peter agreed with that, but when Jewish believers arrived he was more partial to them. Notice how Paul addressed it.

Galatians 2:11–14 ESV

11 But when Cephas came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he stood condemned. 12 For before certain men came from James, he was eating with the Gentiles; but when they came he drew back and separated himself, fearing the circumcision party. 13 And the rest of the Jews acted hypocritically along with him, so that even Barnabas was led astray by their hypocrisy. 14 But when I saw that their conduct was not in step with the truth of the gospel, I said to Cephas before them all, “If you, though a Jew, live like a Gentile and not like a Jew, how can you force the Gentiles to live like Jews?”

Now Paul may not have taken his exact advice. This was a little harsh being called out in front of everyone. But, remember this was the apostle Peter. He was a key leader in the first church. And, he didn’t call him a bad name or anything. He simply asked him a question that forced him to face his sin.

We don’t have to sacrifice respect to speak truth.

III. Treating older women like mothers.

1 Timothy 5:2 ESV

2 older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity.

This is easy. You better love your momma. You better respect your momma.

The fifth commandment teaches:

Deuteronomy 5:16 ESV

16 “ ‘Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.

Honor father and your mother!

We find an example of Paul doing this in Phil. 4:1-3. Apparently there were 2 women in the church named Euodia and Syntyche that were having trouble getting along. I know that never, ever happens, but it did happen to Paul.

Listen to how he handled it.

Philippians 4:1–3 ESV

1 Therefore, my brothers, whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, stand firm thus in the Lord, my beloved. 2 I entreat Euodia and I entreat Syntyche to agree in the Lord. 3 Yes, I ask you also, true companion, help these women, who have labored side by side with me in the gospel together with Clement and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life.

He appealed them to agree for the sake of the Lord’s mission and glory. He didn’t call them names. He didn’t make jokes about women like I just did. He spoke truth in love.

IV. Treating younger women like sisters

1 Timothy 5:2 ESV

2 older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity.

Here’s what I find interesting in addressing younger women who are dealing with sin. Paul points out the potential for danger her to the pastor and elders by adding “in all purity.”

It is dangerous for a male leader in the church to seek to help a young woman who may be compromised.

First of all, like Joseph and Potipher’s wife, she may accuse him of something inappropriate. So, they really need a woman’s involvement as well.

Second, a pastor in a male who can be tempted as well. When a woman sees a man showing her some attention and care. Attention and care that she may not be getting at home. She may be attracted to him and vice versa. Many a pastor has fallen in this way.

That is why Paul added, treat “younger women as sisters, in all purity.” (5:2). Because we don’t lust after our sisters.

Sin in the believers in inevitable. If we are called to love the world by drawing them to Christ, we are certainly called to love our family in Christ enough to reach out and bring them home.