Relationships in Christ: Wives to Husbands
Notes
Transcript
Colossians: Complete in Christ
Colossians: Complete in Christ
Introduction:
Introduction:
Last week we spoke about the processes of using Psalms, Hymns, and Spiritual Songs to teach and exhort one another because that is one of the results of the Word of Christ richly dwelling in us.
If you remember we spoke about the unspoken in the verse being the commitment that we are to have to one another in this church family and if you remember i used an illustration from how one does laundry and said that my commitment to Kelly and I’s marriage prevents me from abandoning my relationship with Kelly because she doesn’t do laundry the same way I do (which is the correct way). Remember this picture? That is what i told Kelly would be her end if she didn’t start doing the laundry correctly.
Well, for the record, I won this round.
Humor: pic of Kelly doing laundry (black and white)
Relationships in Christ: Wives to Husbands
Relationships in Christ: Wives to Husbands
Colossians 3:18-4:1 is this section of the letter that deals now with specific relationships in Christ and how we are to live in those relationships.
This first relationship that is mentioned is the wife to husband relationship and that is what we are going to look at this morning.
The Home is where spiritual formation happens. This is where our best and worse times reside, it is where we spend the most time, it is where we spend most of our money, it is where we spend most of our emotional energy. This week and next we are looking at verses 18 and 19 and dealing with this thing called the Christian Marriage. If you look at the verses here starting in verse 18 the Bible says this:
18 Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them.
Let us Pray:
Humor: We will be spending about 30 minutes on verse 18 and maybe next week we will mention verse 19 if that is ok with all of you? Let me get an AMEN if that works for you gentlemen!!
Oh Boy, you are all gonna be in big trouble before the end of this!!
No, but this morning we are looking at Relationships in Christ: Wives to Husbands.
Humor: 7 year old who watched Cinderella for the first time and neighbor girl is bragging because she already saw it and knows the ending. “They lived happily ever after” No they didn’t said the little girl, “They got married”.
I had to get the look of disgust and anger out of the ladies eyes with some humor. You can thank me later guys.
I think we are back on even playing ground now, right?
We’ve got to keep it light hearted this morning as we look into this next section of scripture. Well maybe for verse 18 we’ll keep it serious but when we get to verse 19 let’s just take that as more of a playful suggestion. What do you think guys? No you didn’t. WOW. You are letting me lead you into some dangerous territory. Shame on you.
Look back with me at Colossians 3:11
11 a renewal in which there is no distinction between Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave and freeman, but Christ is all, and in all.
Is this list of people exhaustive? No. But what is the point that the scriptures are making here? That in Christ everyone, regardless of a label or title is what? EQUAL!!! Say that together, “In Christ all persons are EQUAL”.
So why even mention that? Because we are dealing with a text here this morning, in verse 18, that some really take offense to or really struggle with receiving as true for us today. And that issue that some people struggle with is the issue of Wives (notice that title, this doesnt say women, it says wives and who Paul addresses in this text is very clear, this is addressing wives not women in general) Paul’s handling of wives doing what? verse 18 - Submitting to their husbands.
Humor: Because it’s every little girls dream to walk down an isle in a beautiful dress to the man of her dreams as she gazes into the eyes of her Knight in shining armour, her soon to be husband. Standing before her listening to the vows that he promises to her and then speaking her own vows to him and in those vows at the highest priority are those words, “I am so excited to spend the rest of my life with you in submission” Said no woman EVER at the alter. Ha
But, this is the one thing that in this text Paul tells married women to do. Of all the things he could have said, Paul through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit commands ladies to submit to their husbands. That seems kinda harsh. I would even say foolish.
However, Ladies now listen to me here. This command to you was not and is not intended to belittle your value but I hope in this short point you will see that it was and is actually elevating your value to the home and society.
Here’s why - there are two perspectives that I hope you find interesting. The first perspective comes from a Greek-Roman treatment of women and the second comes from a Jewish treatment of women.
In Roman Society there is quite a distinction between the rights and privileges of women and the rights and privileges of Married women. Let me quote for you some of ideas that revolve around these rights. When speaking of women, William Stearns Davis in his work A Day in Old Rome says this:
Roman women are excluded from seats in the Senate, from the right to vote, from commanding armies, receiving governorship, from acting as judges or jurors. They always carry the status of minors, and are subject to the legal control of either father, guardian, or husband. Before marriage women were considered mere girls, completely controlled by her parents unable to even appear in public save under severe restrictions. Cato, a Roman Elder, said this: “On the day that women are our equals, they will be our masters”.
The Quote Continues:
However, the day a woman entered into matrimony, by this act she finds herself with the great responsibility of managing the households slaves, enjoying a great property, meeting her husband’s friends as equal, going where she pleases, saying what she pleases, (within wide limits) doing what she pleases. As for free married women they go where they please, and do what they please. No husband’s permission is needed when they visit the Forums or theater. They can sue or be sued or give testimony in the courts without a husbands intervention.
Every March, on as we call “Mothers Day” she attends an official festival devoted to celebrating the virtues of the gracious (notice this) head of the household. On this day, no less than on her birthday, she receives presents from her husband, her family, and all her dependents.
No wonder that Roman girls yearn eagerly for marriage! It is their astonishing emancipation.
A quick take away, according to the quote married women were celebrated as the “head” of the household in Roman Society.
Ok, stick with me, here is some quotes regarding the Jewish view of women.
The well-known first-century Jewish historian Josephus made his case, “A woman, it says, is inferior to a man in all respects. So, let her (catch this word) obey, not that she may be abused, but that she may be ruled; for God has given power to the man.”[1] Regarding the issue of marriage and fidelity, women are to be transferred from the hands of one male authority figure to another. [2] Women had no legal status and their testimony was inadmissible in court: “But let not the testimony of women be admitted, on account of the levity and boldness of their sex.”[3] Women were put in the same category as slaves, who were not allowed to testify due to the “ignobility (lower character or lower quality) of their soul.”[4] Reinforced at multiple levels of Jewish culture, women were regarded as socially dependant, a status which is seated in the very nature of her gender, anchored in the order of creation.
Philo regarded women as irrational creatures who are ruled primarily by emotions: (And if your a guy right now you better not be shaking your head in approval) Philo said, “For are not those persons womanly in whose minds reason is overcome by compassion?”[14] Along the same lines, he stated that “The masculine soul is that which devotes itself to God alone, as the Father and Creator of the universe and the cause of all things that exist; but the female soul is that which depends upon all the things which are created, and as such are liable to destruction.”
Moreover, Philo asserted that society was divided into two segments: “The Market” and “Oikonome,” which, roughly translated means something like “house-manager” (feminine gender ending). His point was that men alone were fit for “The Market,” which is to say for the public sphere. Women were, by contrast, fit only for the home.
Can you notice the differences in the perspectives. Although there were for sure many similarities the Married Roman Woman experienced a power in marriage that she never possessed before; while the Married Jewish Woman experienced the role of Obedience to Men even in marriage.
Roman Perspective: is there scriptural conflict with the wife being the “head” of the household? yeah this text is clear on that.
Jewish Perspective: is there scriptural conflict with the wife being “obedient” to the husband?
18 Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
1 In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives,
Submit vs. Obey - in Paul’s culture wives didn’t submit they obeyed their husbands but Paul here is not degrading wives but in actuality he is elevating them to a place of partnership.
Does that now mean that wives can be like, “that is wonderful news now i don’t have to do anything my idiot husband tells me to do” If that is your spirit towards your husband than i can tell you, you are not walking with God in a way that is “fitting in the Lord”.
Let’s look at 4 characteristics of the word “to subject or submit” in this passage:
voluntary - because it is in the middle voice that means “the subject of the verb is being affected by its own action or is acting upon itself. (NIV - Wives, submit yourselves) Notice 1 Peter 3:1 again “even if” your husband is not walking faithfully with God.
I believe this is the biggest distinction between a wifes relationship to a husband and as we will see a childs relationship to a parent. With a child, a child is commanded to be “obedient” but a wife is commanded to on her own behalf because of her love for Christ be subject to her husband.
commanded -
continuous (lifestyle)
4. To be done for the benefit of the family. (Gen. helper suitable for him)
Ultimately this is an act of love towards God. “as is fitting in the Lord”
This is what a well Dressed wife looks like.
I know that this may be difficult at times. It’s easy when you and your husband are in agreement on a decision. It’s hard when you think it is the wrong move. And I understand, the management of a home, the raising of children, the handling of finances, the investment of time into certain activities - all of that is not a game, this is real life and decisions we make have lasting impact and sometimes irreversible consequences. I get it as a man, as a husband, that this command, this call from God for you wives to submit to your husbands is sometimes very difficult.
Some of you are doing that really well and maybe some of you are not. Let me encourage you that living with your husbands in a way that is “fitting in the Lord” is what is best for you, for your husband, for your homes, and for this church.
Ladies, Wives, we guys are not always so good with telling you how much we love and appreciate you. So let me just say it publicly this morning. You are so very precious to us, you are amazing creations of our Father, you are irreplaceable to us, you are a source of hope and strength to us men and we thank you for your love for God and our families. You complete us! And you had us at hello.
As a lady once said to her pastor, “My husband may be the head, but I’m the neck” Now i think she meant that she directs the head but i like to see it as she supports the head.
Illustration: Captain of a ship on dark night who noticed a light in the distance off the bow of his ship. He ordered for a radio transmission to be sent “Unknown vessel, adjust your course 10 degrees due South” A response came back, “Negative, you must adjust your course 10 degrees due North” The captain not happy with the response sent another message, “Unknown vessel I repeat adjust your course 10 degrees South, this is the Captain speaking” The replay came back, “Negative, you must adjust your course 10 degrees due North, this is Petty Officer 3rd class” The captain now even more disturbed sent back another message, “Unknown vessel, this is the captain of a United States Battleship, I command you this last time adjust your course 10 degrees South or you will be fired upon. Last warning” There was a bit of a hesitation with the Petty Officers response and then the radio silence broke and a final transmission came through. “Captain Sir, this is a Lighthouse”.
The Word of God is our lighthouse and if we are not willing to alter our course to align with it’s instructions then we are destined for a shipwreck.