The Dad Difference (Discipling Our Children)
Notes
Transcript
Introduction
Introduction
Illustration: The Dad Gang
Illustration: Moody Publishers (June 2, 2020) The Dad Difference by Bryan Loritts
Next to Jesus Christ, Pop has had the greatest influence on who I am and my commitment to our marriage and our children- Crawford Loritts.
Crawford Loritts is humbled by his son’s Bryan’s recognition of the difference his dad, Crawford has made in his life.
Bryan Loritts goes on to outline and discuss the four most important gifts a father can give to his children which is relationships, integrity, teaching, & experiences.
And I know in some of our families this is or has not been our reality. Some of us as fathers have not been perfect nor have we always demonstrated perfect Christlikeness in our lives as well as in the leading of our families. And there are boys and girls who can testify of the brokenness and fallenness of their earthy/biological dads.
But on occasions like this, Father’s Day, we need to be reminded of the standard and what ought be our aspirations as biological and spiritual fathers.
Illustration: Meeting with community activist within Taunton who want to help make positive changes in the city of Taunton for people of color
And the need for a community recreation center and children going on field-trips to places like the Boston Museum of Science
When we lived in Cambridge and having no money and how I married up- my wife would get free passes from the library for the Zoo, Boston Museum of Science, Children’s Museum, & Boston Aquarium
Illustration: Take your children on the vacation
Transition To Body- Those Who Walk With The LORD
Transition To Body- Those Who Walk With The LORD
After presenting the nature, purpose, and result of the saints (the believer’s) salvation...
Paul moves to discuss the ethical (moral or behavioral) implications of our salvation
Walk Humbly
Walk Humbly
1 I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, 3 eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
Walk Differently
Walk Differently
17 Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds.
Walk Lovingly
Walk Lovingly
1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
Walk Wisely
Walk Wisely
15 Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise,
Walk Together
Walk Together
33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
When The Children Do Obey
When The Children Do Obey
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”
Body
Body
4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Godly Fathers Be
Godly Fathers Be
Fathering Is A Holy Endeavor (Jesus said)
Fathering Is A Holy Endeavor (Jesus said)
9 And call no man your father on earth, for you have one Father, who is in heaven. 10 Neither be called instructors, for you have one instructor, the Christ. 11 The greatest among you shall be your servant. 12 Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.
6 one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. 7 But grace was given to each one of us according to the measure of Christ’s gift.
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
Pastors Of Your Home
Pastors Of Your Home
Paul’s use of the word Fathers & the context (Ephesians 5:22-33)- the little church in your home with the husband/father as the pastor- fathers pastor your home (Ephesians 4:20-21)
Godly Fathers Moderate
Godly Fathers Moderate
Illustrate: 0 to 100 by Drake Pastor Hightower’s Translation
Not bein' on some chill bit
We go 0 to 100 bro, real quick
Since my dad used to tell me he was comin' to the house to get me
He ain't show up
Valuable lesson, bro, man I had to grow up
That's why I never ask for help
I'll do it for you, bro, and do it for myself
I go 0 to 100, bro, real quick
Real quick bro, whole squad on that real bit
0 to 100, bro, real quick
Real quick, bro real quick,
0 to 100, bro, real quick
Real quick, bro, whole squad on that real bit
0 to 100, bro, real quick
Real quick, bro, real quick,
0 to 100
The act of going from a calm state to crazy and uncontrollable. Popularized by a Drake song, 0 to 100.
Note: child’s commands have already been given:
Note: child’s commands have already been given:
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise),
The IVP New Testament Commentary Series: Ephesians Fathers and Children (6:1–4)
Parents sometimes use this passage as a club to bring their children into submission. Since it is Scripture, and specifically a quotation from the Ten Commandments, it is indeed authoritative. But parents can go beyond requiring appropriate obedience and vent their own frustrations and anger on their children. Abuse can be verbal as well as physical.
effective nurture through praise rather than threats
Ephesians 6:4 (ME): The picture he paints of fathers as self-controlled, gentle, patient educators of their children is in stark contrast to the norm of his own day. ‘At the head of the Roman family … was the pater familias, who exercised a sovereign authority over all members of the family … The autocratic character of the patria potestas manifested itself not only in the father’s right to punish, but also in his iuo vitae necisque (killing the newborn; exposure of children) … The pater familias has a full right of disposal over his children, as over slaves and things …’ William Barclay adds: ‘A Roman father had absolute power over his family
Do Not Lead Your Child Into Sin
Do Not Lead Your Child Into Sin
6 but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.
19 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; 20 for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
Illustrate: Dad why are you yelling!
26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and give no opportunity to the devil.
29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,
Illustrate: Practice Saying I’m Sorry To Your Children
Illustrate: Mothers stop staying you’re going to be just like your dad!
Almost everybody in Atlanta knew my dad when I was growing up. Most said I look like my dad spit me out of his mouth.
My Mother never said a bad word about my dad
She let me learn about him for myself
Godly Fathers Correct (Train)
Godly Fathers Correct (Train)
Illustrate: Eli the Priest
Baker Encyclopedia of the Bible Discipline
Discipline. Learning that molds character and enforces correct behavior; from a Latin word meaning “instruction” or “training.” To discipline a person or a group means to put them in a state of good order so that they function in the way intended. Discipline, in spite of a popular misconception, is not inherently stern or harsh. Bible translators chose “disciple” as an appropriate term for one who learns by following.
Biblical Teaching
Biblical Teaching
Self-discipline
Self-discipline
7 for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.
Parental Discipline
Parental Discipline
Children Have To Be Training
Godly children are trained by Godly Parents
15 “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. 16 You will recognize them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? 17 So, every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the diseased tree bears bad fruit. 18 A healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a diseased tree bear good fruit. 19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 Thus you will recognize them by their fruits.
Train Up Your Children Men
6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Illustration: Do You Have Any Home Training?
Lacking home-taught manners and social etiquette.
ex. Those kids who were yelling in the mall lack home traning.
ex. Shaleiqua does not say please or thank you. She says "yo, gimme that". That is lacking in home training.
Church Discipline
Church Discipline
Illustration: Growing Up at Ben Hill United Methodist Church 2099 Fairburn Rd SW, Atlanta, GA 30331
Rev. Dr. Cornelius Henderson & Rev. Dr. Walter Kimbrough were my pastors
First Lady Henderson was a teacher at my High School and caught me cutting up one time in school...
Old Testament- Community Discipline
18 “If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and, though they discipline him, will not listen to them, 19 then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gate of the place where he lives, 20 and they shall say to the elders of his city, ‘This our son is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.’ 21 Then all the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones. So you shall purge the evil from your midst, and all Israel shall hear, and fear.
New Testament- Church Discipline & Instruction
17 And someone from the crowd answered him, “Teacher, I brought my son to you, for he has a spirit that makes him mute. 18 And whenever it seizes him, it throws him down, and he foams and grinds his teeth and becomes rigid. So I asked your disciples to cast it out, and they were not able.” 19 And he answered them, “O faithless generation, how long am I to be with you? How long am I to bear with you? Bring him to me.”
Godly Fathers Instruct
Godly Fathers Instruct
Teach What You Have Heard & Were Taught In Christ Jesus i.e. point them to Jesus Christ
Teach What You Have Heard & Were Taught In Christ Jesus i.e. point them to Jesus Christ
20 But that is not the way you learned Christ!— 21 assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus,
Teach What Moses Taught
Teach What Moses Taught
1 “Now this is the commandment—the statutes and the rules—that the Lord your God commanded me to teach you, that you may do them in the land to which you are going over, to possess it, 2 that you may fear the Lord your God, you and your son and your son’s son, by keeping all his statutes and his commandments, which I command you, all the days of your life, and that your days may be long.
4 “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.
7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
Instruct Not Only With Words
Instruct Not Only With Words
Instruct Also With Your Actions
Instruct Also With Your Actions
15 Practice these things, immerse yourself in them, so that all may see your progress. 16 Keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching. Persist in this, for by so doing you will save both yourself and your hearers.
Instruct By Telling Your Testimony Too...
Instruct By Telling Your Testimony Too...
Transition To Close
Transition To Close
Illustration: Warner Brothers, 1998, movie, Jack Frost, starring Michael Keaton
Michael Keaton plays a dad named Jack Frost, who struggles to balance his career with parenthood.
On the verge of fulfilling his lifelong dream as a musician- signing with a record company- but he spends more time in the studio than with his eleven-year old son, Charlie
After missing one of Charlie’s hockey games, Jack tries to make things right. He promises a Christmas vacation in a cabin up north without any interruptions.
Charlie is crushed, but Jack follows his ambition.
On the road to Aspen, he thinks about what he’s doing to his son, changes his mind, and heads back.
Tragically, a blinding snowstorm and faulty windshield wipers cause an accident that kills Jack.
Following an event day, Charlie falls asleep, and Jack tucks his son in for the night.
He thinks bak to his life as a human, strokes his son’s hair, and says. “I was so busy trying to make my mark on the work that...”
Just before he bends down to kiss his son on the forehead, he says,
“You are my mark on the world.”
3 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. 4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. 5 Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.
Paul When He Opened Up The Book Of Ephesians With...
Paul When He Opened Up The Book Of Ephesians With...
Blessed Be the God & Father of our LORD Jesus Christ
Blessed Be the God & Father of our LORD Jesus Christ
3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, 4 even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love 5 he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will,
Fathers Bring Good News
Fathers Bring Good News
Good Fathers Leave Inheritances
Good Fathers Leave Inheritances
So this, the Father Gives Good Gifts
So this, the Father Gives Good Gifts
17 that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him, 18 having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, 19 and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might 20 that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places,
Because on One Friday...
Because on One Friday...
But He Got Up With All Power
But He Got Up With All Power
That’s The Immeasurable Greatness Of His Power
That’s The Immeasurable Greatness Of His Power
God the Father Is Merciful
God the Father Is Merciful
4 But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, 5 even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— 6 and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus,
God the Father Provides Access through Relationship
God the Father Provides Access through Relationship
Bow My Knees Before the Father
Bow My Knees Before the Father
14 For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, 15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, 16 that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, 19 and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. 20 Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.
Turning the Hearts Of Fathers To Their Children
Turning the Hearts Of Fathers To Their Children
5 “Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the great and awesome day of the Lord comes. 6 And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the land with a decree of utter destruction.”
Christ Loved The Church
Christ Loved The Church
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
Close- The Dad Difference in God the Father
Close- The Dad Difference in God the Father
Do Not Regard Lightly The Discipline of the LORD
Do Not Regard Lightly The Discipline of the LORD
5 And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. 6 For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” 7 It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? 8 If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons.
We Have Earthy Fathers Who Disciplined Us
We Have Earthy Fathers Who Disciplined Us
9 Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? 10 For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. 11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
Do I have any legitimate children of God in the house today or tuning in online.
He Has the Cattle...
He Has the Cattle...
10 For every beast of the forest is mine, the cattle on a thousand hills.
And Our God Will Supply Every...
And Our God Will Supply Every...
19 And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. 20 To our God and Father be glory forever and ever. Amen.
Didn’t Jesus Supply Your Needs
Didn’t Jesus Supply Your Needs
6 For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Jehovah Abba!
Jehovah Jirah!
Jehovah Rapha (healer)!
Jehovah Niesi!
Jehovah Shalom!
Jehovah Rohi (shepherd)!
I love the LORD, because he heard my cry!
Jesus Tells His Disciples
Jesus Tells His Disciples
29 And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried.
Your Father’s Good Pleasure
Your Father’s Good Pleasure
31 Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things will be added to you. 32 “Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.
Be Not Dismayed
Be Not Dismayed
Whatever may betide you
God, the Father, will take care of you
Beneath his wings of love abide
God, the Father, will take care of you
9 Pray then like this: “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. 10 Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. 11 Give us this day our daily bread, 12 and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. 13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. 14 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you,
Our Heavenly Father reins forever!
Our Heavenly Father sits enthroned forever!
As Jesus sits at the right hand!
Of God the Father!
Making intercessions for you and I!