Church Conflict
Notes
Transcript
The early church has, as of just a few chapters into its recorded history, faced threats and persecution from the outside, hypocrisy from within, and criticism from amongst their own.
The first verse of Acts 6 could be summed up in this way: “In those days, there was conflict in the church...”
I’ve lived my entire life in the church (not in the church building; that’d be weird. We don’t have any showers, for one). I’ve lived amongst the church my whole life. My Jesus-loving parents made sure my sister and I were raised in the church. It’s part of who I am. Or, I should say, I’ve been part of the church for as long as I can remember, and then some. I’ve given, say, 30 of my nearly 37 years to serving Jesus and serving His Church. And I’ve known the church at its best and at its worst.
I’ve known the church to be kind and loving, exceedingly generous, extraordinarily hospitable.
I’ve had a front-row seat to the church organizing service projects for the elderly and widowed, just to help them out.
I’ve attended one church’s annual pork auctions where tens of thousands of dollars were raised in a single night in order to build a Haitian orphanage (I’ve got a funny story about a pork butt, however, now isn’t the time. Not now, Barrett).
I’ve witnessed grace and forgiveness and self-sacrificial love.
I teared-up when my parents called us from Ohio (they were living there at the time for Dad’s cancer treatment). Mom and Dad told me that a member of the church they just attended there invited them over to their house for lunch and had offered to drive them back-and-forth to the hospital so they didn’t have to navigate Columbus traffic. Near perfect strangers looking out for one another, because of Jesus.
There are endless stories of the church feeding the hungry, paying bills for those who fall on hard times, providing transportation for the less fortunate, sitting with the dying, praying with the seeker, consoling the hurt and the angry; that’s the church at its best.
And then, sadly, for every encouraging story and wonderful work of the church, you and I can probably think of something sad or horrible perpetrated by a person or group of people within the church.
I’ve seen enough to know the church isn’t always what it should be. A lot of times, because of our sin and selfishness, we hurt one another and our witness.
I’ve watched my brothers and sisters in Christ leave the church due to my own shortcomings and sinfulness; they’ve been hurt by me. Too often, I’ve caused the church pain and have been the main contributor to peoples’ resentment of the church.
I’ve listened to a fellow at my first church tell me, “The young people sure do like their music and their youth groups, but we’re the ones who pay all the bills. I think the ones who give the money should decide what happens.”
I told him the church isn’t a corporation with IPOs and stockholders, and that if he feels that way, he should keep his money.
“We don’t want you to give money with that thinking, Gary. And the Lord certainly doesn’t want your strings-attached money given for bargaining power or control. Keep your money.”
I’ve watched Christians bicker over every foreseeable issue imaginable and then some issues that no one thought anyone would ever argue over.
I’ve watched churches chew-up and spit-out their pastors, and pastors belittle and destroy their congregations.
I’ve watched as politics, racism, money, preference, tradition, and the next new thing rip churches apart.
1 In those days when the number of disciples was increasing, the Hellenistic Jews among them complained against the Hebraic Jews because their widows were being overlooked in the daily distribution of food.
The conflict is right here in verse 1: some people complaining against some other people. The growth of the early church evidently created some problems, some tension.
A number of Greek-speaking Jews had responded to the gospel. This led to, among other things, a language barrier. And the language barrier led to the neglect of some needy widows.
The Hellenistic Jews were Jews that had been dispersed/scattered and were living outside Palestine. Their primary language wasn’t Hebrew or Aramaic, but Greek.
The Hebraic Jews, not as fluent in Greek, unintentionally overlooked the Greek-speaking Jewish widows. Or let’s put it this way: Group A is upset with Group B. It’s this group versus that group.
“They’re getting something we should be getting, too.”
“Why do they…we don’t...”
This basic thought pops up all the time. I just heard a story this week about hurt caused by the church because this person got what that person didn’t.
And the hurt is very real. We can’t minimize it. Put yourself in the other’s shoes (that’s always a pretty good piece of advice).
Like Atticus Finch told his daughter, Jean Louise:
“You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view … until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.”
The conflict is real. The hurt is real. The anger, the disappointment is real. The church is growing and things are getting overlooked. The people are grumbling. There is dissatisfaction and unmet expectations.
This is not the first issue in the church and it won’t be the last. It is, perhaps, the most common issue. I grumble if the temperature is a degree or two too high.
Grumbling. Complaining. Like the Israelites in the desert, after being brought out of slavery, through the Red Sea, led by a pillar of smoke/fire. After all that, they start to complain. To grumble.
Read Exodus 16 sometime. Count the number of times some variation of the word grumble is used. It’s a lot. Because they grumbled. A lot.
They were longing for the good ol’ days, you know, when they were slaves. They had it so much better as slaves. It was nicer in Egypt, where they were slaves. They had pots of meat and all the food they wanted. And now, they’ve been freed from their captors and (poor little fellas) they’re a little hungry. You see, they are revisionists. They start to say they had it better under the oppression of the Egyptians: “When I was a kid...” “After they worked us all day and beat us with whips, they’d give us some food…man, it was good...”
“Years ago, the church would...”
“When I first started coming here everyone...”
“I liked it better when...”
Grumbling. Complaining.
“In those days, there was conflict in the church...”
That’s, sadly, a fairly fitting statement for the church today. We have to realize this. We need to understand all the good and and all the bad the church is capable of. We must enter into a committed membership of the local church with eyes-wide-open. We know we might be hurt, or do the hurting. We know we will likely face conflict, or be the cause of conflict.
And so we go into this with a Spirit-led maturity, one that says: “When conflicts arise, I’m in this. With love and peace and patience and kindness and gentleness and self-control, I’m in this. I’m committed, first to the Lord and then to His people.”
When conflicts arise (when, not if)—when conflicts arise, how do we handle them?
As always, we look to God’s Word for answers. Business models, best corporate practices, conventional wisdom might have some good tips; but nothing compares to God’s Holy Word. Nothing!
God’s people need God’s Word. He’s given us a book to guide our lives, individually and corporately. Let’s look at the Book. If you have your Bible with you (and I hope you do), please turn with me to Acts 6.
1 In those days when the number of disciples was increasing, the Hellenistic Jews among them complained against the Hebraic Jews because their widows were being overlooked in the daily distribution of food. 2 So the Twelve gathered all the disciples together and said, “It would not be right for us to neglect the ministry of the word of God in order to wait on tables.
When conflict comes, the Church handles it:
Together
Together
Notice what the Twelve do. As the de facto leaders of the church, as the men who had been with Jesus as His disciples, they hear about the issue between the two groups, they hear the complaining and the grumbling, and they bring everyone together.
They gathered all the disciples together.
There are several strategies they could have used: they could have taken care of everything themselves (pick up the slack). They could have spoken to Hebraic Jews and told them to step it up. They could have told the Hellenistic Jews to calm down.
Instead, they bring everyone together. A lot of times, a bringing of two parties together works; you get to hash everything out, get everyone on the same page, and tempers often cool when hot.
Together is a good word for the Church as a whole. We are a gathering. The word from which we get “church” is the word for assembly or gathering. Together.
We are meant to come together. We are stronger together than we are apart. Just by virtue of being together we communicate something incredibly important, to ourselves and to the watching world. By coming together, by committing to join together, we are saying that we need one another. We depend upon one another.
It stinks to be hurt by the people we should be closest to. And by that, I mean our brothers and sisters in Christ.
Make no mistake: your relationship with your brothers and sisters in Christ is the closest, deepest, most permanent relationship you have.
Maybe you’ve heard it said: “Blood is thicker than water.” True enough.
But as one of my professors taught: “THE BLOOD [of Jesus] is thicker than blood.”
What binds us together—our shared relationship to and faith in Jesus Christ—is supreme. There’s no relationship more significant. Not your spouse. Not your children or grandchildren. Not your parents or grandparents.
In Christ, your spiritual family is most important. Relationally, we are meant to be closer to our brother/sister in Christ who lives on the other side of the world whom we’ve never met than we are to the non-Christian next door or the unbeliever at our family dinner.
The apostles of Jesus, led by the Holy Spirit, know the best way to resolve the conflict among them is to work it out together, as brothers and sisters in Christ.
They address the gathering as such: brothers and sisters.
3 Brothers and sisters, choose seven men from among you who are known to be full of the Spirit and wisdom. We will turn this responsibility over to them 4 and will give our attention to prayer and the ministry of the word.”
5 This proposal pleased the whole group. They chose Stephen, a man full of faith and of the Holy Spirit; also Philip, Procorus, Nicanor, Timon, Parmenas, and Nicolas from Antioch, a convert to Judaism. 6 They presented these men to the apostles, who prayed and laid their hands on them.
When conflict comes, the Church handles it:
Wisely
Wisely
You’re probably thinking: “Well, duh. Of course you want to handle conflict wisely. Does anyone want to handle conflict unwisely?!?”
What I mean, what I’m trying to say, is that conflict needs to be handled with a wisdom that is not our own.
Instead of believing the lie that they, the 12, were the only ones who could handle things, they knew that God had granted wisdom to others in the gathering, to each of the brothers and sisters in some measure, and so asked them to choose a group of men who would serve the church.
They deal wisely with the conflict, realizing their calling and their main responsibilities.
It’s not the 12 believe themselves to be above waiting on tables or serving the widows in the church. Not at all. I’m sure any one of them would have served in that way.
For them, it’s not a matter of wanting, it’s a matter of calling.
The apostles, as the elders of the early church, realize their calling, their main tasks are twofold: prayer and the ministry of the word.
Those two comprise the bulk of their ministry, and the most important parts. It would not be good for the church if those responsible for teaching/preaching the Word and in prayer for the people had to spend all their time delivering food and attending to administrative details.
And so, wisely, they delegate the responsibility—we will turn this responsibility over to them.
The apostles rightly and wisely realize their human limitations. It’s good to say, from time to time, “I cannot do this myself. I am not all-sufficient. I need help.”
After leading the people out of Egypt, Moses was the man. Everyone went to him to settle disputes for them, asking Moses to weigh in on this issue or that. Moses was it. He was the judge for the people, working from morning to night.
Moses’ father-in-law, Jethro,chimes in:
17 Moses’ father-in-law replied, “What you are doing is not good. 18 You and these people who come to you will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone.
21 But select capable men from all the people—men who fear God, trustworthy men who hate dishonest gain—and appoint them as officials over thousands, hundreds, fifties and tens. 22 Have them serve as judges for the people at all times, but have them bring every difficult case to you; the simple cases they can decide themselves. That will make your load lighter, because they will share it with you.
Thank God for Jethro. And thank the Lord for the wisdom of the apostles. They knew they couldn’t handle everything themselves. What they had to do was too important to do it poorly. And if they did even more, spreading themselves even thinner, it would be good for no one.
So, wisely, the church will share in the service of the church. It’s on all of them to do their part, to share in the service of the people of God.
We’ve all been called into service by the One who came not to be served, but to serve.
45 For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
Christian, how are you serving? In what areas are you serving? If you’re not serving, that’s a problem. We need you. Even more so, the Lord is worthy of your service.
The brothers and sisters, the church as a whole, chose 7 men—men who were full of the Spirit and wisdom.
Notice, the qualifications are quite different from what we might think. Just because someone is highly regarded or business savvy or long-tenured, doesn’t do it. There’s more at stake.
To deal wisely with conflict requires a wisdom from above, a wisdom God gives in abundance. Just ask Him.
7 So the word of God spread. The number of disciples in Jerusalem increased rapidly, and a large number of priests became obedient to the faith.
When conflict comes, the Church handles it:
Expectantly
Expectantly
We have to believe that conflict is, at its most basic level, a scheme of Satan. Yes, conflict is the result of sin, but we must never forget that crafty serpent loves to distract and divide the church. He’ll do whatever he can. Get this group pitted against that group. Rile up these folk.
Satan loves conflict, the distraction of it all. Conflict often times casts a pall on the whole.
What conflict can be is reorienting. It can help us to calibrate. Adjust. Focus up.
What we’re doing isn’t working, so let’s go in at halftime and readjust. Conflict can be a motivator, if dealt with together and wisely.
We handle conflict together and wisely, knowing that the Lord is at work and that conflict isn’t defeat.
If I gave up every time I faced any conflict, I would have gone through 200 churches so far (assuming they’d hire me). Maybe more.
If you gave up on your marriage at the first sign of conflict, you’d have left after that first fight about how to squeeze the tube of toothpaste.
Conflict should be defeat; conflict is an opportunity.
We don’t give up because of conflict. We ask the Lord to lead, to show us by His Holy Spirit the way forward, and then we wait and see what He’s going to do. Because He’s always up to something.
We wait and we watch, expectantly, because we know, we know, we know that God is on the move.
The apostles gather the church. They delegate some responsibility. They entrust godly men with the task at hand, each party committing to their calling, and look what happens. The first word of verse 7:
“SO...”
That’s a great word. It highlights the cause and effect. They did this, SO this happened.
This, so that.
Because God is always working and because His people, with His help, worked through this issue,
The word of God spread—this happens when the proclamation and teaching of the Word is valued, when those entrusted with this task are freed up to focus on what they’ve been given.
The number of disciples increased rapidly—we should expect this to happen when everyone is doing their part, working for and serving the Lord.
A large number of priests (!) became obedient to the faith—under the guidance of the newly appointed deacons, many members of the priesthood were attracted to Christians by their charity and care for one another.
Incredible things happened. And they always will! The Lord works in mighty ways.
Satan’s scheme to divide and distract the church didn’t work too well for too long.
The word of God just kept on spreading. The number of disciples just kept on increasing, and rapidly. These words are in the imperfect tense, meaning continuous, on-going results.
We deal with whatever is before us. We handle, even conflict, with the expectation that God is working, God is able, God is faithful.
When there’s conflict (when, not if)—when there’s conflict, let us look beyond the struggle and see the Savior. Let’s realize that both Satan and the Lord are at work in whatever conflict we face. And let us remember that Satan is a defeated foe, crushed by the heel of the True and Better Adam, the Resurrected Jesus.
Church, we are in this together. Let us not forget.
God has granted us wisdom in great measure, and given us the gift of the Holy Spirit to lead us and guide us.
Be of good cheer, God is on the move; we can and should expect Him to act.