Know How to Disagree with Others and Still Maintain Unity (Romans 14)

INTRO

Some are weak or strong in the faith (v.1).

Some have been maturing longer than others. Maturity has nothing to do with physical age, but a condition of the spiritual heart.

There could be a spiritually immature 90 year old.

There could be a spiritually maturing 20 year old.

Let me make 3 observations in this text:

MATURITY VARIES WITHIN THE BODY OF CHRIST.

Keep the context: believers. People in the faith.

Any local church body or the collective Church is going to have some who are more mature in the faith. There are weaker and stronger believers anywhere you look.

Within any local church body or the collective Church, there will be disagreements on certain issues because you have a collection of believers at different parts of the maturity spectrum.

YOUR LEVEL OF MATURITY IS DETERMINED BY YOUR LEVEL OF DISCERNMENT.

You might even now be wondering where you are on the spectrum of maturity!

But let me challenge you in this— the criteria you probably use to determine your maturity is — how mature am I as compared to _______.

Maturity is not determined by comparison. That’s not a helpful criterion.

“But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil.” (Hebrews 5:14, ESV)

The mature have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice— CONSCIENCE. Calibrate your conscience.

HUMILITY IS ESSENTIAL FOR UNITY.

Your pride will easily convince you that you are more mature than you are.

You pride will guide you to welcome another believer with an impure motivation of your heart— v.1— (read again)

A less matured believer is not to be brought in to argue with. The idea is that you don’t welcome for the purpose of trying to humiliate them or show your “faith dominance” over them.

Romans 14

Example— food and special days

FOOD

Roman believers— Jewish believers, some who were having difficulty letting go of their religious past of keeping certain laws, like those related to diet.

2 groups— We could call them “strong” and “weak”

Some had found freedom in Christ to realize that keeping to certain laws was not the way to righteousness. They would eat anything.

While the weak, or those who were born-again but still struggling with what to do or not do, were only eating vegetables.

Listen--- neither group is wrong. The weak group had room to mature in their understanding.

But here’s what happens— those who are “strong” or more mature in their faith have a tendency to look down on those whose consciences don’t allow them to practice the same freedoms. They can develop an attitude of superiority, and then think they are the master or ruler over them.

v.4— who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls.

Nobody will stand before you. Everyone will stand before the Lord, so our conscience must be calibrated to His standard.

Special days

v.5- some esteem certain days as better than another- probably a reference to the Sabbath, maybe observing other festivals.

Meeting with Patrick- church on Sunday, eat shrimp.

That example happens to be in line with the exact examples in Romans 14. But the principles of Romans 14 could apply to many other examples.

Now these are religious examples. Customs of the Jewish faith perhaps— and issues of freedom were at the heart of these examples.

Those who were stronger in their faith shouldn’t pass judgment on those who are weaker in faith. Why won’t you eat this? Come join us.

Those who are weaker in faith shouldn’t pass judgment on those who are stronger in faith. Why are you eating that? Get away from us.

Remember— neither group were doing anything wrong according to God’s Word. There was freedom in Christ for people to eat or drink those things.

But to not do those things was not sinful.

What could happen in your heart and actions when a moment of disagreement occurs?

v.13-19

You could become a stumbling block to another believer (v.13).

There’s something you feel the freedom to do or not do, and you are going to do that with no sensitivity to how that could impact others.

You could destroy others by what you do (v.15).

Sometimes in pursuing our side of a disagreement, the danger is that you could stop walking in love toward others. Here’s the command: by what you eat, do not destroy the one for whom Christ died.

Here’s why— the end of v.14— but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean. Paul knew the food wasn’t unclean. But there were others who did.

But listen to v.23 (READ). In your conscience, if you believe that something is wrong, even if it legitimately is not wrong, if you partake, then it is sinful because it did not proceed from faith. The intention of your heart was to sin.

So if you believe whole-heartedly that you are not sinning in what you are doing, and you invite someone else into that activity, then you could cause them to sin because they wouldn’t be acting out of faith.

You could lose sight of the Kingdom of God (17-19)

The kingdom of God is one of peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. It is not a kingdom of pushing your rules on other people.

Let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding. Do we often do that? Or are we more concerned about victory in the moment and we don’t mind if we tear others down in the process?

How do we disagree with others and still maintain unity?

The examples in Romans 14 are those relating to religious or doctrinal beliefs. There can be disagreement to some degree on doctrinal beliefs. That’s why there are many denominations. We’ll see them in heaven, but there are differences which cause us to assemble differently on earth.

Mohler Theological Triage

“For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures,” (1 Corinthians 15:3, ESV)

Everything in the Bible is important, but not equally important.

But did you know that issues that are not solely doctrinal teachings from the Bible can also cause disagreements among believers?

Want some hot button items among Christians?

Immigration reform

School options- homeschool, public, private, charter, etc.

Gun control laws

Climate Change/ stewardship of the earth

Approaching topics of racism

Republicans v. Democrats

Alcohol consumption

Modesty/clothing

Card playing/certain activities

Music/entertainment choices

Masks

There are godly people who have different opinions on these things. You might not find a passage in the Bible that clarifies what the absolute moral position is on these kinds of topics.

So what we tend to do is try to think biblically as it relates to these issues, but there can be disagreement.

Let me stress: the Bible must always be our ultimate authority.

Division can come, though, when we put our political views or ideas, or some other philosophies, above the authority of Scripture. And we start reading Scripture through that political or other worldview instead of letting the Bible be the lens through which we view all things.

The Bible is fully sufficient. Now it might not give step by step instructions on how to fix your car, but it gives you all you need to know God and how to glorify Him. In whatever we do or whatever we are thinking about, the Bible tells us how we are to act and think through it.

Show Conscience diagram (put the triangle diagram on the slide)

How do we maintain unity still?

Let me answer this from Romans 14 as it relates to doctrinal matters.

Stay Humble.

Avoid superiority.

Welcome those weaker in the faith/ those we disagree with (v.1)

Don’t despise others (v.3)

Don’t pass judgment on others (v.3)

If you think someone isn’t strict enough, or if you think someone is legalistic, our fellowship shouldn’t be broken.

“We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves.” (Romans 15:1, ESV)

Even if you think you are strong in your faith, your confidence of your conscience, your aim is not to please yourself— but to love others and build up unity.

Stay Truthful

You should be fully convinced of your position on issues in your mind (v.5).

But remember that it is always best that we calibrate our conscience to God’s will. We want to be certain that our conscience/convictions are in line with Scripture.

This means that we would be willing to learn still, which is where helpful conversation about these issues can be helpful to sharpen one another.

Most likely, your conscience has changed over time on certain issues. And most likely, that has come because you’ve learned more, you’ve had conversations with other believers, and you’ve been challenged and convicted by Scripture.

Can you imagine Paul’s conscience after his conversion? The “Pharisee of Pharisees” now coming to know Christ and the freedom of grace!!

We need to be fully convinced, but always pursuing truth.

Always pursue the glory of God

v.6 (READ). 3x= “honor of the Lord.”

Let’s assume first that a person’s choices were made to honor the Lord or glorify Him. If we discover that that is not really the intention, then we can lovingly talk to that person to see what their motives are.

v.7-9— the whole point is that we belong to the Lord. And we all should be living under the lordship of Christ, not submitting ourselves to other masters.

Develop, Don’t Destroy.

When our flesh gets in the way, we naturally will try to destroy others who disagree with us. But we are called to develop one another, build others up.

“Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up.” (Romans 15:2, ESV)

“For if your brother is grieved by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. By what you eat, do not destroy the one for whom Christ died.” (Romans 14:15, ESV)

How do we destroy others?

Forcing them to have the same conscience as you, therefore forcing them to violate their conscience.

Similarly, Assuming they will participate and agree with activities that align with your conscience.

Belittling them, speaking harshly. And sometimes what we say isn’t even fully true. Yes, this happens even in the body of Christ.

For all the good that it can bring, one of the areas where we can so easily destroy one another is on social media. Keyboard warriors can say and share whatever they want with very little accountability and no responsibility to actually talk with others to sharpen one another’s conscience.

12 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Posting Something Online

Will it edify? Or significantly inform a useful conversation? (Mk 12:29–31; 1 Cor 14:26)

Will it easily be misunderstood? (Jn 13:7; 16:12)

Will it reach the right audience? (Mark 4:9)

Will it help my evangelism? (Col. 1:28–29)

Will it bring about unnecessary and unhelpful controversy? (Titus 3:9)

Will it embarrass or offend? (1 Cor. 12:21–26)

Will it convey care? (1 Cor. 12:21–26)

Will it make people better appreciate someone else? (1 Cor. 12:21–26)

Is it boasting? (Prov. 27:2)

Is the tone appropriate? (2 John 1, 12; Col. 4:6; Eph. 4:29; 2 Tim 2:24–25)

Is it wrong to say nothing? (Romans 1:14)

What do others advise? (Prov. 11:14; 15:22; 24:6)

Our example: Jesus (READ Romans 15:1-7).