Honor One Another
Notes
Transcript
For the last several weeks, we have been in our summer sermon series looking at some of the “one another” commands that we find in Scripture and some practical ways in which we can make changes in our lives in relation to these commands. We talked about encouraging one another, praying for one another, and valuing or considering one another. At the end of each of those messages we ended with several practical steps we might take to improve how we do with these commands in our own lives. We were challenged to let God point out to us how we are doing and what we might do differently as we continue to allow him to transform us. I hope that we all have taken these to heart as we considered how we might be able to work on how we might become more intentional about live life among each other.
As we get started, I have a question for you to think about. What does it mean to honor someone? The word honor in the dictionary has this definition as a verb (or action word): regard with great respect. We are actively doing something when we honor someone. However, I also think the last word of that defintion is vital, respect. We cannot honor someone if we do not respect them. Taking a step farther, we cannot honor someone if we do not love them as another child of God, loving them with the overflow of God’s love in our own lives.
Once there was a little old man. His eyes blinked and his hands trembled; when he ate he clattered the silverware distressingly, missed his mouth with the spoon as often as not, and dribbled a bit of his food on the tablecloth. Now he lived with his married son, having nowhere else to live, and his son's wife didn't like the arrangement.
"I can't have this," she said. "It interferes with my right to happiness." So she and her husband took the old man gently but firmly by the arm and led him to the corner of the kitchen. There they set him on a stool and gave him his food in an earthenware bowl. From then on he always ate in the corner, blinking at the table with wistful eyes.
One day his hands trembled rather more than usual, and the earthenware bowl fell and broke.
"If you are a pig," said the daughter-in-law, "you must eat out of a trough." So they made him a little wooden trough and he got his meals in that.
These people had a four-year-old son of whom they were very fond. One evening the young man noticed his boy playing intently with some bits of wood and asked what he was doing.
"I'm making a trough," he said, smiling up for approval, "to feed you and Mamma out of when I get big."
The man and his wife looked at each other for a while and didn't say anything. Then they cried a little. They then went to the corner and took the old man by the arm and led him back to the table. They sat him in a comfortable chair and gave him his food on a plate, and from then on nobody ever scolded when he clattered or spilled or broke things.
Today we are going to be in:
9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.
10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.
Now I also want to read this passage from the Message:
9 Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good.
10 Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.
This passage starts out with the central theme of love. In the NIV, the passage heading is called “love in action.” When we talk about honoring others, it is love in action. The Message paraphrase I think really helps us understand the depth of this love. “Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it.” The word in the NIV is sincere. In order for us to understand what comes next in this passage, we need to first understand what is in verse 9. Literally, Paul writes unhypocritical love. Love that is unhypocritical. You see, if we are to honor one other or devote ourselves to one another as we see in verse 10, it is vital that we first understand this sincere, genuine, unhypocritical love. To remain genuine in love requires a disciplined commitment to honesty and the respect of limits. The remainder of this passage helps us to demonstrate what this looks like in practice. If our love is sincere, the remainder of this passage will be manifested in our lives.
This Christian love that we see in verse 9 is something that goes far beyond the mild “live and let live” stance of the Greco-Roman humanitarian ideals that were in place when Romans was written. Instead, it must never evaporate into mere pretense, merely and outward display of emotion that does not conform to the God who is love and who has love us in Christ. This type of love is something special that is only found in a believer of Jesus Christ. It is not to be confused with either a vapid sentimentality or self-indulgent passion. It is a vigorous moral quality. As mere human beings, we are not capable of loving like this without the Spirit working in us and filling continually. It is only this type of love that will help us to hate what is evil and cling to what is good.
In verse 10, we see the thoughts I want us to focus on today. First, be devoted to one another in love. The definition of the word devoted is to be very loving or loyal. The Message says to be good friends who love deeply. This brotherly love that we are talking about is a genuine love that is expressed in the church, acquiring something of the character of an extended family or group of close friends. We are to be bound together in deep fellowship. We are to exhibit a heartfelt and consistent mutual concern for one another. I wonder, though, how much do we truly love each other? Are we really willing to do what it takes to honor one another within the body of Christ? Are we really loyal to each other?
The second half of this verse is one that I think does not come naturally if we do not understand the love that we see in verse 9. This idea of honoring one another is not something that comes naturally to many of us. Paul urges the Roman church in the second half of this verse to bestow honor on on another or to take the initiative to show honor. The Message paraphrase uses the idea of playing second fiddle. If you have ever been in a band or orchestra you know what this idea is. There is only one first chair. For those of you not familiar with this idea, a first chair is the premier of several musicians playing a particular instrument in an orchestra: seated closest to the audience, taking the lead for that instrument's movements, and playing any solos. We are to recognize and praise one another’s accomplishments. To do this, we need to be unselfishly humble. It takes humility to show honor to one another, to put others in front of ourselves.
Now let’s take a few minutes and look at the example we see in Jesus Christ.
First, He was humble and did not seek honor.
33 Wisdom’s instruction is to fear the Lord, and humility comes before honor.
Jesus left His place of glory and honor and became a man, a servant, to give honor to others, and to obey the Father.
9 Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name,
If Jesus is our Teacher, we should imitate Him by being honor givers, instead of honor seekers. Let’s raise our brothers and sisters high; let’s help to make them look good.
Second, He honored His disciples by serving them. Throughout His ministry, but mainly during the Last Supper, Jesus reflected what He said in
11 The greatest among you will be your servant.
12 For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.
Some of His disciples, James and John, had expressed their desire to occupy the positions of honor. Their mother was their spokeswoman; she came to Jesus.
21 “What is it you want?” he asked. She said, “Grant that one of these two sons of mine may sit at your right and the other at your left in your kingdom.”
Jesus response was clear: that honor is only given by God.
23 Jesus said to them, “You will indeed drink from my cup, but to sit at my right or left is not for me to grant. These places belong to those for whom they have been prepared by my Father.”
Jesus showed them how to be great: He took the lowest servant position and washed the apostles’ feet. We continually see Jesus serving people in ways we would not expect from a Rabbi. Ways that no other self-respecting Rabbi would do. Jesus gave them (and us) the greatest example of greatness! The road upward (the path to greatness) is really a road downward! Let’s honor one another! Let’s serve one another! Let’s raise one another instead of stepping on others! That is the kind of community God wants us to be. We honor one another when we find ways to praise others and ways to serve others, no matter if it might look to be “beneath us.”
Here are a few practical steps that can help us honor others:
Pay someone a compliment. If we really love people and see them through God’s eyes, we will see things to compliment. We will see something positive even in people who get under our skin. If we train ourselves to find the positive in others and find the things to compliment them on, it will become a natural way for us to interact with others.
Be understanding. This can be a challenging one. As believers, we need to be better at understanding where people are coming from. This goes along with being a good listener that we have discussed in recent weeks. Be intentional about really trying to understanding people and their perspective, even if it is different from our own. Who knows, when we do this we might even learn something that helps us to further shape our own perspective or be able to defend it better.
Make them food. Everyone enjoys a good meal. Show them you care and love them by making something for them or buying them a meal out. Sometimes that can really make the difference for someone and show them that they are appreciated.
Show compassion. Compassion literally means to suffer together. Among emotion researchers, it is defined as the feeling that arises when you are confronted with another's suffering and feel motivated to relieve that suffering. Whether you're interacting with a friend, colleague, peer, patient, or family member, you can demonstrate your compassion. Show kindness and empathy to people or do something that expresses kindness and empathy.
Be patient. Acceptance + Compassion = Patience With Others. Patience with another person means that you don't let your emotions run away with you when they do something that you don't like. It also means understanding that they can live their life anyway that they want, and you don't have any control over it.
Overlook mistakes. Forgive. Did you know that according to the Scandinavian Journal of Psychology research shows people who forgive are happier people? Forgiveness is a process over time that includes letting go of negative emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, and replacing those with positive thoughts, emotions, and behaviors toward the offender. It's not condoning or excusing, which implies there’s a justification. It’s not forgetting or refusing to remember the event. It’s not reconciling, which implies there’s restored trust and contact. And it’s not pretending that everything is fine.
Cheer someone on. Encourage them. Find out what people are working towards. Find out what their goals and dreams are. When we know these things we can inquire about them and have conversation with people about them. People know we care when we take an interest in the things they are doing. We can cheer them on and encourage them toward those things.
Learn from others. One of the things that I have learned over the years is that we can learn so much from each other. Whether it is learning how to do something such as fixing or building something or it is learning another perspective or way to think about something, we can learn so much from others when we drop our preconceived notions and realize that some people know more than we do on a given subject.
Treat people with respect even if they don’t agree with you. This is probably one of the lessons that is hardest for us in our current environment with everything turning into a political argument. I have got some BREAKING NEWS for you! We can respect people even if we do not agree with them!
Find common ground and appreciate your differences. This is one that seems exceptionally hard in these days where everything seems so divisive and political. Open your mind and be willing to hear opposing opinions even if they are outrageous. Look for common ground. Every human being is valuable, regardless of their opinions or worldview. Learn to view everyone you encounter through the lens of love, and then look for ways the two of you can connect on a deeper level. Listen closely. With the rise of social media, listening has almost become a lost art. It’s easy to read a post on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram, type a response in ALL CAPS and then run away from the discussion. And it’s even harder to listen in person. We hear people speaking, but are we really listening? Or are we just thinking about what we will say next? Open your heart, open your eyes, and open your mind as you never know what you might find.
As we close this morning, I want us to remember that as followers of Christ we are to be devoted to one another and to honor one another. In reality, this should be a reciprocating relationship, not that we are seeking others to honor us, but that others will honor us as we honor others. There is something mutually beneficial to all of us when we act in this way. I hope that you are seeing how all of these “one another” commands that we have been discussing the last several weeks all tie together. They all take us back to the idea of the love that God so freely displays and gives to us.
Let’s pray.
BENEDICTION: May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. 2 Corinthians 13:14