Wedding - Wesley and Analiese Holmes

INSTRUCTIONS FOR THE SERVICE:

We are going to begin shortly, but I am going to ask each of you to silence or turn off your cell phones

I am also going to ask that you refrain from taking pictures during the ceremony - at the reception, feel free to bombard instagram with your photos, but for the service, lets leave it to the professionals! Thank you!

GIVING THE BRIDE - ***Audience stands as bride enters

**Who gives this woman to be married?  Wesley, please receive your bride. 

PRAYER - Matt - DO NOT SEAT AUDIENCE

Worship

To begin our time this evening, Wesley and Analiese’s wanted to open in worship through song to the Lord.

For those who may not know, or understand, I want to quickly talk about what worship is?

Worship is the response to the Lord for who He is and what He has done.

Worship is our declaration to the Lord that we value Him above everything else in our life.

Including our closest earthly relationships.

I am going to ask that you remain standing and I invite you to open your program and sing along with us.

WELCOME

You may be seated

We are here this evening to witness the union of Wesley Holmes and Analiese Crane in marriage.

What we are about to witness is one of the most sacred moments on earth - where two of God’s children are united together as one cohesive unit.

On behalf of the couple, I would like to thank you for joining them for this special day.

I would also ask that you commit to praying for them and their marriage - that they would be rooted firmly in Christ and that their marriage would display godliness to a watching world.

INTRODUCTION

When I was a kid, I didn’t like weddings very much.

Probably because I rarely knew the couple that well and I was usually dragged there by my parents.

Since then, my perspective has changed pretty dramatically.

I love weddings and I love officiating weddings because I have the seat closest to the action.

There is something deeply moving getting to be a part of two people’s lives being joined together in a life-long covenant.

Over the past year, I have gotten to know Wesley in our Missional Community Group.

Over the past few months, I have gotten to know both Wesley and Analiese as a couple.

We have gotten to spend quite a bit of time together walking through premarital counseling and seeking the Lord’s truth as it relates to marriage.

Guys, I have done a lot of premarital counseling for couples, but you are amongst the top of the class.

You took it seriously

You asked great questions

You listened intently

You took advice

and you fought for holiness.

Thank you for trusting Cammy and me to walk with you through premarital counseling

and thank you for inviting me to play this role in your big day.

I am committed to praying with you and for you as your relationship grows

And, I want you to know that Cammy and I are always available for you as you navigate this thing called marriage.

Letters to one another

Wesley and Analiese have written letters to one another that they have asked for me to share, and I will do that now:

I will read Wesley’s First

Dear Analiese,

Well you have lit up an entire room once again this evening. You light up this room with your smile, and your eyes. And while all of that is powerful and breathtaking, it is your genuine, gracious, loving soul that has led me to this moment with you today. It is your heart that shines brightest. The way you love and care for others, the way that you listen, the way that you work diligently, the way that you fear the Lord, the way that you bring people together, those are the things that I admire about you the most. I mean look at all of your girls over there?... (pause) If you haven’t counted in your program yet, there are fifteen… (pause) Annie, that is powerful, that is beautiful and that is a testament to the work that God has done and is doing in your heart. You never pass on an opportunity to share your faith. Christ is at the center of all of your conversations. You have pushed me and challenged me daily to learn more about God. The way you love and care for me allows me to know more about the way God loves me. I had a friend ask me one time, he asked, “Wes, where have you seen God’s grace most clearly in your daily life?”… My answer was easy, it was with you Analiese. You have showed me a glimpse of what God’s grace looks like. I have watched you actively choose to show me grace when I didn’t deserve it. What a blessed man I am to be standing here today across from you knowing that you are going to be my teammate and my warrior for the Kingdom for the rest of our lives. I love you.

Love,

Wesley

Dear Wesley,

I am so excited to finally be standing here, ready to marry you. The Lord has worked in both of our hearts to prepare us for this day! I can’t wait to embark on this journey with you. You are a man of conviction and integrity. You are kind and compassionate. And you have a desire to learn like no one else I’ve met. You are always quick to apologize and ask for forgiveness. And when you do need to call me out, you do it with such tenderness that I always trust it's out of love and for my good. You are a constant source of encouragement and you spur me on to do the good deeds of our Father in Heaven. 

Anyone who knows you, knows you love deeply and will pour yourself out for others. And you never fail to see those who are often overlooked. I love your confidence in the Lord, that you don’t need to be right at my or others’ expense. You work incredibly hard and I can honestly say I’ve never heard you complain about work, even after long hours. I admire and respect you for all these reasons and so many others. You laugh often and keep things fun which you know I need. You are gentle, strong, loyal, honest, and dependable. Your strength and humility make me desire to follow you, as you lead with a courageous and gentle spirit. The past few years I have seen you fight for me, and I know you will continue to do so in our marriage. I am so thankful that you are God’s provision for me! I love you!

MESSAGE

Today is a deeply important day, but probably not for the reason that many in this room might be thinking.

For many of you, you may think that today is special because these two are getting married.

because their hopes and dreams are being fulfilled as they are united together as husband and wife.

Or because they have spent countless hours planning every detail and putting all the pieces into place and now we are here.

Or because they have found the ONE they will spend the rest of their life with.Yes these things are true, but the reality is much bigger

Marriage at its core is not simply about two people, doing life together.

And thank God for that - because if all of this were simply based on what Wesley and Analiese were going to make out of their marriage, then we would likely be in for disappointment.

This is why the overall divorce rate is about 50%

Today is special because Wesley and Analiese are not coming to the table with their own strengths, gifts, and abilities.

They are coming relying on Christ alone to make this work.

They stand here before you today, declaring that is isn’t going to be by their human effort that their marriage succeeds, but rather by the strength and power of God.

Today is deeply important because we are standing before the Lord of all creation as He unites two of His children together in a covenant that is breakable only by death.

You see - this will not simply be another normal marriage.

This union will be infused with the Holy Spirit who will hold everything together.

Today, we are going to witness a covenant formed that was God’s idea.

Marriage was created by God, for God.

Marriage was created for one man to be united to one woman and for that earthly relationship to display the relationship that Jesus has with His bride, the Church.

Which raises a good question.

HOW do you live out THAT type of marriage?

The Apostle Paul has deep wisdom for us about this that we can find in the book of Colossians 3:12-17

Colossians 3:12–17 ESV

12 Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. 15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. 17 And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

While this passage doesn’t speak directly or exclusively about marriage, there are some deep and abiding truths that we can find which will help us to live out marriage in a way that brings honor to the Lord - AND help us to experience deeper connection with one another.

I want to draw out a three key points:

First, Forgiveness

The first two verses drives hard towards this idea of forgiveness - using words like bearing with one another.

What does this tell us about relationship?

It isn’t easy…

So many people have a fairy tale narrative playing in their minds about what marriage is all about.

But the beauty of marriage isn’t summed up in “happily ever after”

The beauty of marriage is displayed when sin and brokenness is met with grace and forgiveness, rather than wrath and retribution.

The beauty of marriage is displayed through compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.

I am going to let you in on a little secret…

In order to be given the opportunity to live this forgiveness out, conflict has to be introduced into the picture.

Those moments of conflict provide the opportunity for your forgiveness to shine.

And what is this forgiveness supposed to look like?

Paul clarifies at the end of v. 13 - as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

Let’s dig into this a bit, because it is the key to making all of this work.

We must forgive as He forgave us.

So, how did He do that?

He saw our brokenness

He came to live with us, in spite of that brokenness

He gave himself up, by dying a sinners death on a cross as punishment for our brokenness

He rose from the dead on the third day, proving Himself to be stronger than our brokenness

He gave us his own righteousness in exchange for our brokenness

So now, instead of seeing any of our sin and shame, the Lord sees us as completely innocent and cleansed from our sin.

We are welcomed into His family, without strings attached.

And He knows that we are going to blow it again, and again…

Wesley, Analiese, your job in this marriage is to die to yourself for the benefit of the other.

There is nothing that you hold against one another, because forgiveness abounds.

Offer forgiveness to one another!

Second, Thankfulness

vv. 15-17 mention being thankful in our hearts for others.

To be thankful for one another is to see one another as God’s most precious gift - aside from your own salvation.

v. 16 describes the thankfulness that we should have for one another as driving us to sing songs to God about them.

Wesley, there should be a song of praise ringing through your heart and soul for Analiese.

She is about to become the bride of your youth, your beloved, your helper, your lover.

Don’t stop singing to God about her - and thank Him often for this amazing woman that He is blessing you with.

Analiese, there should be songs of praise ringing through your heart and soul for Wesley.

He is about to become your husband - the one who the Lord has tasked with loving your soul and the one who will spend the rest of his life discovering how beautifully the Lord has wired you.

Wesley is the one who God is entrusting to lead your family through the minefields of this world.

Don’t stop singing to God about him - and thank the Lord often for this amazing man that He is blessing you with.

Interestingly enough, Paul tells us to be thankful for one another right on the heels of the forgiveness piece - which at first glance seems odd.

In essence, it sounds like he is saying - this person is going to make you mad and sin against you, but you need to forgive them.

AND… Be thankful for them.

It is in the moments where we are extending forgiveness that we need to be reminded most about being thankful for our spouse.

You see, in those moments where there has been a fracture in our marriage, experiencing a deep gratitude for the other will be fuel that will drive forgiveness.

It is when we allow bitterness and ungratefulness to overrun the thankfulness that forgiveness begins to wane and the drift will begin.

Overflow with thankfulness for one another so that it might fuel forgiveness

Third, - It’s all about HIM.

v. 17 says - whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Listen - your marriage is not all about you…

You should not be getting married just to fulfill some deep personal need - and if you are, then you will fall far short of God’s design for marriage.

The purpose of your marriage is to magnify the name of the Lord.

You have an opportunity to share the gospel with everyone around you through your marriage.

You will be able to display how two broken sinners are able to love one another with an other-worldly love that doesn’t quit.

You will be able to help others to see that the grace in your marriage is meant to point to a bigger and more sure grace, found only in the forgiveness of God through Jesus.

Whatever you do - whether in word or deed, do it in the name of Jesus

Whatever you do in your marriage - do it in the name of Jesus.

It’s all about HIM.

Let me clarify something here - this does not mean that you are to forsake any possibility of joy and self-fulfillment in your marriage.

In fact, quite the opposite.

When you make your marriage all about Jesus, then you will experience more joy and self-fulfillment than you would ever hope to experience otherwise.

How is this possible?

Because the Lord is a good, good Father who wants us to experience the joys and satisfaction of relationship - because hey, remember, it points back to Him.

The joy we experience in relationship in marriage is meant to point us to an even better joy, found in the Lord.

As we transition, I want to make this point for your guests…

As we have been talking about the gospel, the love of God, and all of the parallels between earthly marriage and relationship with God, there may be some of you who want to experience God in this way.

What I will say to you is this:

First, the Lord is not interested in rote ritual or religion - He is interested in relationship.

I want to compare it to Wesley and Analiese’s relationship

Wesley doesn’t buy Analiese flowers so that she will love him…

He buys her flowers because she loves him.

It’s the same way with the Lord - we don’t try to live a certain way so that He will love us, we live that way because He does.

Second, the path to know God is found in Christ alone.

There is no other way to get to heaven, except through a bloody cross where a sinless savior gave up His life and stood in our place.

You do not need me, and you do not need a priest - you just come straight to the Lord.

If we ask Him to save us, then He stands in our place, and the Lord looks on us and sees the perfection of His Son.

No more stains, no more sins, no more condemnation - no matter what you’ve done - He’s powerful enough to take it all.

Third, It takes a village to raise a spiritual child.

Get in Christian community.

If you do not know where to go, then talk to people and find a Jesus loving, mission focused church.

Wesley and Analiese might be a great resource for you on this - as they can help point you to a great church with the help of their family and church family.

Fourth and finally, if you came to know Jesus at this wedding, or because of the influence that Wesley and Analiese have had on you, please tell them that!

I can guarantee that it will be one of the big highlights of the day for them.

VOWS - Wesley First, Analiese Second

At this time, Wesley and Analiese are going to exchange their vows.

These vows are the promises that they are making to one another.

With the Lord’s strength, they will live out these vows faithfully and in the process bring glory to the Father.

The couple has chosen to write their own vows, and I am going to ask them to read them to one another.

Wesley, I am going to ask you to go first.

I, Wesley, created in God’s image solely for his glory, saved by grace through faith in Jesus Christ promise to love you Analiese as Christ loves the church

I promise to humbly approach God’s throne daily, giving him control over our lives and our marriage

I will show you patience, tenderness and kindness in all things

I promise to lean on the Spirit to cultivate and lead the spiritual climate of our home

I vow to daily accept God’s calling of headship over our marriage

I will continue to date you and pursue your heart daily

I promise to push you with love and truth towards Christ that you may be holy and without blemish

I promise to honor you and treat you with understanding

I promise to cherish you, count you as my helper and adviser, and pursue God’s best for us

I choose from this day forward to give myself to you and serve you till death do us part

Analiese:

I, Analiese, created in God’s image solely for His glory, saved by grace through faith in Jesus Christ, promise to love you, Wesley, not only with words but with trust, so God’s love is brought to full expression through us.

I promise to serve you and seek to meet your needs as your helper.

I commit to submitting and respecting you, as you submit to Christ.

I promise to cherish you and thank God for you, as you are God’s provision for me.

I commit to showing you grace and to forgiving you, just as we have been forgiven by Christ.

I promise to join you in the mission God has entrusted us with as we become one.

I promise to choose you and fight for our marriage every single day.

By God’s grace, I promise to lay down my pride and always pursue unity with you.

As Ephesians 4:29 says, I promise to use my words to build you up and not tear you down.

I promise to encourage you and dream with you in all your pursuits in life.

I promise to put God first and you second, striving to love you better each day as your wife and best friend.

And by God’s grace, I will be faithful to this covenant as long as we both shall live.

BLESSING OF THE RINGS

Wesley and Analiese are exchanging rings as a symbol of the covenant that they have made.

Although small, these rings are made of precious metals and are in a perfect circle to signify the preciousness and ongoing nature of your covenant.

The rings do not make you any more or less married, they are simply a reminder to you of the covenant promise that you have made to God and each other.

EXCHANGE RINGS

Wesley, place Analiese’s ring onto her ring finger of her left hand

Analiese place Wesley’s ring onto his ring finger of his left hand.

“I offer you this ring -- as a symbol of my vow -- and my promise -- to love you unconditionally -- for the rest of our lives. -- Wear it to remind yourself -- of the covenant -- that we have made today -- before the Lord -- and our friends and family.

Communion as a couple

Wesley and Analiese will be taking communion as a part of their wedding.

When believers take communion, it is in obedience to what Jesus told His disciples at the last supper.

English Standard Version Chapter 11

on the night when he was betrayed took bread, 24 and when he had given thanks, he broke it, and said, “This is my body, which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” 25 In the same way also he took the cup, after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.”

As Wesley and Analiese celebrate the Lord’s supper and pray together, it is yet one more declaration that they want to have their marriage built on the foundation of Christ and His Word.

As they do this, please pray silently where you are for their marriage to thrive.

Wesley, Analiese, please do that now.

Marital Charge

Before we close, I want to give you a marital charge or exhortation

Together, Keep Christ at the very core of who you are as a married couple.

It is for His glory that you are standing here today.

Your marriage is not about your happiness or your fulfillment - it is about the Lord’s glory.

If you are devoted to HIS glory, He will bring fulfillment and happiness.

But not as this world brings fulfillment and happiness.

it will be a fulfillment and happiness that will be based on HIM that doesn’t fade.

Wesley, my charge to you, as the husband, and the Biblical head of your household is this:

Discover how to be a servant leader to Analiese, and one day to your children.

Fight to become the Christ-centered shepherd/pastor of the little flock that the Lord entrusts you with.

Be the one who is most concerned with providing your family with fertile soil in which to grow in the Lord - making biblical community, worship, and service a priority and not an afterthought.

Spend the rest of your life trying to find out how you can better love your bride and elevate her.

At the end of the day, the buck stops with you.

When the Lord wants answers about the spiritual condition of your family, He will come to you - not Analiese.

This is a heavy load to carry, and dare I say, and impossible load to carry on your own.

You will need to rely on the strength of the Lord, and the fellowship of Christian community which will empower you to glorify Him in this role.

Analiese, my charge to you, as the wife is this:

You are becoming Wesley’s biblical helper as described in Ephesians 5.

You will be the most uniquely gifted person on the planet to help Wesley as he seeks to live out the will of the Lord.

Wesley’s leadership is designed to operate at its best when you are functioning as his biggest supporter, advisor, counselor, lover, and friend.

Resist the temptation to get out in front of his leadership but also fight the urge to stay quiet when you know you need to speak up - but do so with respect and love.

While the Lord comes to Wesley to get answers about the Spiritual condition of your family, He holds you accountable for being the best helper you can be.

Guard Wesley’s heart and lean on the Lord to give you the wisdom required to fulfill your calling as his bride.

CLOSING COMMENTS

now we come to the fun part… Wesley, you got that kisser ready?

By the power entrusted to me by our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, I now pronounce you, husband and wife, Wesley you may kiss your bride.

PRESENTATION OF THE BRIDE AND GROOM **Audience Stands**

Would you please stand - May I present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Wesley Holmes.

INVITATION TO RECEPTION

On behalf of Wesley and Analiese, I want to invite everyone to a reception to follow.

For the moment, I want to dismiss everyone to the cocktail hour, taking place on the patio just outside the chapel.

I am going to ask that immediate family and grandparents please stay for photos.

Everyone else is dismissed