God's Glory and Aging Parents

One of the blessings of being a pastor is seeing God give children to young families. There is something embedded in parents to love their children and care for their children. We give them love, clothes on their back, food on the table, a roof over their heads. We pay for summer camp. We give them the best life that we can.

And in return, their role is to honor their father and mother. The fifth commandment says,

Exodus 20:12 ESV

12 “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.

In the wisdom of God, their comes a time where they begin to pull away seek their own life. They turn 18. They are ready to get out of this one horse town. That’s about the time that parents are ready for them to go.

They step out from under our roof. They turn 18. It’s time for college, or to go into the work force. At some point, they get married.

That separation is a part of God’s divine plan.

Genesis 2:24 ESV

24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

That separation is a good thing. It’s a good thing for them to start their own life, make their own decisions, and pay their own bills.

There comes a time where parents no longer are the sole provider for their children. But, interesting, there is never a time that children stop honoring their parents.

This text which brings up the issue of widows that we will get to really brings up the responsibility for children to honor their parents throughout their lives. That honor looks different as time goes on.

Honoring parents starts out by obeying our parent and not back talking them. But as they age honoring parents means experiencing a role reversal. Maybe because of age or illness you have to take the keys. You have to invite them back into your home. Maybe it means a change in lifestyle so that medical needs can be met. It means that the financial wellbeing for their care falls to you.

This text points out that this is the kind of love and honor that is required of Christian children.

So lets stop for a moment and appreciate the influence our parents had on us.

They left us heritage.

2. They gave us values.

3. They provided for us when we were most vulnerable.

Clothes, food, house, education, vacations, camps, experiences, etc. They put up with our ignorance as teenagers.

4. They provided a starting point for our lives.

5. They have experience that we don’t. With experience comes insight and properly applied comes wisdom.

6. They get sick more than we do. They are weaker than we are.

7. They are valuable to God and should also be to our family and the church.

That’s the point of God highlighting the issue of Honoring Widows.

I. Adult children, take care of your aging parents. (1 Tim. 5:3-4)

This was particularly seen in biblical culture when women became widowed.

1 Timothy 5:3 ESV

3 Honor widows who are truly widows.

In this day a women who did not have a husband to care for them or protect them could be destitute. It was difficult for them to find any kind of work or provision outside them home.

God is very concerned that they are not left uncared for or unprotected. In the OT, widows were to remarry if possible. The levirate marriage provision of the law said that an unmarried brother-in-law was to marry the widow. If there was non, that duty would go to the nearest kin. We can remember Ruth and Boaz who was her kinsmen redeemer.

God was so concerned about the plight of these destitute widows that two of the people that God raised from the dead in the New Testament had to do with this need.

Remember the widow of Nain’s son?

Luke 7:11–17 ESV

11 Soon afterward he went to a town called Nain, and his disciples and a great crowd went with him. 12 As he drew near to the gate of the town, behold, a man who had died was being carried out, the only son of his mother, and she was a widow, and a considerable crowd from the town was with her. 13 And when the Lord saw her, he had compassion on her and said to her, “Do not weep.” 14 Then he came up and touched the bier, and the bearers stood still. And he said, “Young man, I say to you, arise.” 15 And the dead man sat up and began to speak, and Jesus gave him to his mother. 16 Fear seized them all, and they glorified God, saying, “A great prophet has arisen among us!” and “God has visited his people!” 17 And this report about him spread through the whole of Judea and all the surrounding country.

Certainly this miracle showed that he was God’s son. But, it also displayed his compassion on the widow of Nain to give her her son back from the dead.

Next remember a remarkable woman named Tabitha or Dorcas.

Acts 9:36–41 ESV

36 Now there was in Joppa a disciple named Tabitha, which, translated, means Dorcas. She was full of good works and acts of charity. 37 In those days she became ill and died, and when they had washed her, they laid her in an upper room. 38 Since Lydda was near Joppa, the disciples, hearing that Peter was there, sent two men to him, urging him, “Please come to us without delay.” 39 So Peter rose and went with them. And when he arrived, they took him to the upper room. All the widows stood beside him weeping and showing tunics and other garments that Dorcas made while she was with them. 40 But Peter put them all outside, and knelt down and prayed; and turning to the body he said, “Tabitha, arise.” And she opened her eyes, and when she saw Peter she sat up. 41 And he gave her his hand and raised her up. Then, calling the saints and widows, he presented her alive.

We will also remember that the very first ministry spoken of by the church in Acts is to make sure the hellenistic Jewish widows were being cared for to the same extent as the Hebraic widows. That prompted what became the first expression of deacon ministry. (Acts 6:1-7)

Of course, you remember how James describes what marks pure and undefiled religion.

James 1:27 ESV

27 Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.

Going back to 1 Tim. 5:3.

1 Timothy 5:3 ESV

3 Honor widows who are truly widows.

Again their is special attention to widows here because in this culture and in most cultures. Widows are especially vulnerable and need care.

I found it interesting studying this text this week that this text isn’t quite as narrow as we might think. In English, a widow is simply a married woman whose husband has died. But, in the NT a widow was a woman that was left alone and because of that, she was vulnerable.

A woman could be widowed because her husband deserted her or divorced her or was even imprisoned. God wants to make sure that she is cared for.

+That made me stop and think about how we need to possibly extend the widows that we invite to our widows banquet.

Paul brings up the question, “Who is the first line of defense for care and provision for widows?”

1 Timothy 5:3–4 ESV

3 Honor widows who are truly widows. 4 But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God.

The church is going to play their role. But, the first responsibility to the needs of widow or any Seniors who are in need are their children. As believers, we worship God by the way we care for the needs of our parents.

Here’s an interesting point. Why is he having to state what seems to be the obvious? Because, children in the church Timothy is trying to lead in Ephesus are not taking care of needy parents.

This is not the first time this has been seen as a problem in Scripture. Jesus addressed the same problem with the Pharisees who instead of using money to care for their aging parents used it to give to God and feel the pride of their gift.

Matthew 15:1–6 ESV

1 Then Pharisees and scribes came to Jesus from Jerusalem and said, 2 “Why do your disciples break the tradition of the elders? For they do not wash their hands when they eat.” 3 He answered them, “And why do you break the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition? 4 For God commanded, ‘Honor your father and your mother,’ and, ‘Whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.’ 5 But you say, ‘If anyone tells his father or his mother, “What you would have gained from me is given to God,” 6 he need not honor his father.’ So for the sake of your tradition you have made void the word of God.

Jesus is saying, “Don’t tell me you are honoring God by not caring for your mom and dad. “ Jesus is saying “Don’t give money to the temple that should be given to the home.” God is honored not only in tithes and offering. He is also honored in caring for our parents.

-I think about Joseph, who during a famine, cared for his father Jacob by bringing him and the rest of the family to Egypt in Genesis 45.

+If you are struggling a little right now with parents that need a great deal of help, remember what Paul says in 1 Tim. 5:4. When we care for our parents, “we show godliness to our household.”

There comes a time where it proper to “make some return to our parents” in their old age as they have cared for us in our young age. And that this is pleasing to God Almighty.

Not to do so brings reproach on the church and God. Notice v.8.

1 Timothy 5:8 ESV

8 But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

The next issue is, well what happens when their is a widow in the church who doesn’t have children to care for them?

II. Church, we must take up the slack. (1 Tim. 5:5-8)

Remember, 1 Tim. 5:3 says to honor widows who are “truly widows.” Now these are widows that the church is obligated to take care of. Apparently, not every widow that is a member of the church is “truly a widow.”

Paul puts for a description of that a constitutes a “true widow” which qualifies for the aid fo the church.

A. Left all alone (v.5a)

That means not only that they don’t have a husband to care for them, but that they don’t have any children to care for their needs either. Also, they don’t have any financial means to care for themselves. A widow could have been left in a decent financial shape by her husband and not need the financial care of the church. They are not all alone.

Notice that the spiritual maturity of the woman also matters.

B. Has set her hope on God (v.5b)

The tense that is used there speaks to the fact that she is in a continual state of hope in the Lord.

Jeremiah 49:11 ESV

11 Leave your fatherless children; I will keep them alive; and let your widows trust in me.”

She knows that God will care for her.

*I did not ask her for permission to share this story so I won’t call her name. But there is a widow in our church whose husband died of cancer on the day after his life insurance expired. This was money that would have gone a long way to caring for her needs.

As she told me this story, she just called the insurance agent. The insurance agent called the company. She said, “I don’t know how he is going to do it, but I’m not worried because God has promised to take care of me. And he will!”

And he did. Don’t say that miracles don’t still happened. Even though it was a day late, the insurance company still paid out the contract.

C. Continues in supplications and prayers night and day (v.6)

This is the Bible’s way of saying, this is a woman that lives in communion with God. She is a godly woman of whom prayer marks her way of life. We might think about Anna who met the baby Jesus in the temple.

Luke 2:36–37 ESV

36 And there was a prophetess, Anna, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher. She was advanced in years, having lived with her husband seven years from when she was a virgin, 37 and then as a widow until she was eighty-four. She did not depart from the temple, worshiping with fasting and prayer night and day.

Now all widows are like this. Paul really calls widows to think about how they are going to spend their days without their husbands. He calls them to pursue a life intimate with God.

That doesn’t describe all widows.

1 Timothy 5:6 ESV

6 but she who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives.

I think this describes the widow who was a member of the church, came to church and was active, as long as her husband was around. But, now that he is gone is has fallen into sin and has displayed that she really isn’t saved.

She is described as “dead.” I think he is saying “spiritually dead” even though she is physically alive.

Paul is not trying to be mean. I think he is saying not to give her aid as a form of church discipline. I think his hope is that her desperate situation would her to repentance and salvation.

When the church cares for widows, God is glorified.

1 Timothy 5:7 ESV

7 Command these things as well, so that they may be without reproach.

Not to do this would bring reproach on God and the church in the community.

I want to close by pointing to something that John MacArthur pointed to in his sermon on this text. He point out that on the cross that Jesus spoke to only two individuals.

He forgave the dying thief and he spoke to the apostle John to arrange for the care of his widowed mother.

I’ll end my sermon with the words of MacArthur.

“While bearing the burden of the world’s sins, Jesus’ min was concerned with the salvation of one sinner, and the care of one widow.” -John MacArthur

May be be children and a church who glorifies God with that type of love.