Christian Home Essentials -Husbands
Notes
Transcript
Handout
Handout
Christian Home
Christian Home
We started this new series Christian Home Essentials last week with some introduction and then a look at marriage.
Question: How do you define a marriage?
Marriage is not an institution created by man
Marriage by design is not subject to the ways or whims of man.
Marriage was instituted by God in the beginning (Gen2:24-26)
Marriage is regulated and instructed by Jesus and the Apostles (Mt19:4-6; 1Cor7:7-5)
Intimacy is to be exclusive for within marriage (Heb13:4)
(Successful marriage picture)
Marriages can be successful when we
Follow the instructions given.
When husband and wife know their place and position so can fulfill their tasks
(Transition) when members of the family know, and take responsibility for their roles within the family, then the family will be what God created the family to be. Tonight we are going to look at the first role and responsibilities (duties) of the husband.
I would like us to look at 3 things tonight, but let me ask a question first:
Question: What do you think is the first responsibility of a husband?
Now the three things tonight are:
Husbands love your wives
Husbands respect your wives
Husbands support your wives
Husbands love your wives
Husbands love your wives
The command and example given incorporates all of God’s demonstrated love within marriage it is brings blessings to the marriage is essential for a Christian home.
Love your wives! (every marriage, every man to every wife)
Love your wives as Christ loved the church (Eph5:25-29; Col3:19; Eph4:31)
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,
One thing we are doing in this series, as mentioned last week is to do it class style, so we will make some pit stops along the way.
Question: how did Christ love the church (Eph5:25)?
Christ loved the church by giving Himself for her (Eph5:25)
27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. 28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself;
Question: Why did Christ love the church like he did (Eph5:27)
So we might be presented to Himself in all the glory! (Eph5:27)
29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church,
So the example given is one that a husband is to love unconditionally, sacrificially, carefully, and providing for the wife. Here is another passage to bring in
19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them.
love, lovingly, not embittered, not with resentment, bitterness or hate, for those things can result in
31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.
So, husbands are to put away those things and are to follow the example given of Christ and His love for the church.
(Transition): sacrificially, purposefully, carefully may we as husbands love our wives. That leads to more describers and definitions from the scripture.
Love with agape love (Eph5:25; 1Cor13:4-8)
we have read the command in (Eph5:25) husbands are to love their wives.
Now may we look at it defined and described, starting with agape love.
4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,
Love is patient, kind, it is not jealous, it does not brag, nor arrogant, unbecoming, selfish, not provoked and keeps no records of wrongs (1Cor13:4-5)
6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness, rejoices in truth, it bears all, believes all, hopes all, and endures all (1Cor13:6-7)
8 Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away.
Love never fails! (1Cor13:8)
(Transition) Agape love is unselfish love that looks and wants the best for others, this love never fails as exampled in Christs love for the church as we read in Eph5:25-29. So a husbands love, a husbands role is to have agape love for his wife! But wait, there is more . . .
Love with phileo love (Eph5:29, 6:4; 1The2:7)
A husband in Eph5:29 is to love, nourish his wife, as he would for himself. This is phileo (sentimental, affectionate love)
That will roll over into other relationships (you can look up Eph6:4, 1The2:7), as a father and we will touch on that another day, for focus today is on the Christian husband.
Love with eros love (Eph5:31; 1Cor7:2-5)
This is the physical, intimate love
31 For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.
Eros love, man and wife shall become one flesh (Eph5:31)
This eros love is to be intimate, exclusive and not elusive.
2 But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband. 3 The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.
Question: Why is (1Cor7:2) there, what does it mean, why is it needed?
4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Question: What is the purpose of depriving (withholding) from one another according to 1Cor7:5? And what is the warning too?
(Transition) So for husbands when it comes to eros love we are to provide physical love, intimate love, except for certain times. We have so far looked at exampled love (Christ and the church) described love (agape, phileo and eros) now we move on to another duty, another responsibility of a Christian husband.
Husbands respect your wives
Husbands respect your wives
As a husband, or a husband in training for one day, we are to love our wives (verb=action). Now we look at the next thing, the next duty, to respect our wives.
Question: What does respect look like in your own words, describe it?
Respect (n): A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something. Due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights or traditions of others.
But wait, it is verb (an action) too!
Respect (v): Admire someone deeply as a result of abilities, qualities or achievements.
Respect by how you treat your wife
Question: How can you show respect to your wife, or for discussion purposes, anyone?
With understanding (1Pt3:7)
7 You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.
We are to live in an understanding way (1Pt3:7)
With honor (1Pt3:7; Pr31:28)
Honor as a fellow heir in Christ (1Pt3:7)
This is a sister in Christ in who Christ also died for, someone who will be in eternity too.
As to weaker vessel (1Pt3:7)
A weaker vessel not meaning necessarily weaker, for many wives are stronger, physically and/or spiritually, but consider this.
She is to be treated like china, so don’t a bull in a china shop!
Respect by how you view her
As fellow heir (1Pt3:7)
Again someone else who is like you an heir to Christ, a daughter to the king, a heavenly resident
As who impacts the your prayers (1Pt3:7; Mal2:13-16)
How you treat your wife can directly hinder your prayers (1Pt3:7)
Look at this passage
13 “This is another thing you do: you cover the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping and with groaning, because He no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand.
14 “Yet you say, ‘For what reason?’ Because the Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant.
God no longer regards their offering for how they have their relationship with the companion, your wife by covenant (Mal2:13-14)
Question: How were they treating their wives (Mal2:14)?
15 “But not one has done so who has a remnant of the Spirit. And what did that one do while he was seeking a godly offspring? Take heed then to your spirit, and let no one deal treacherously against the wife of your youth.
16 “For I hate divorce,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “and him who covers his garment with wrong,” says the Lord of hosts. “So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.”
God hates divorce! So do not deal treacherously (Mal2:16)
How we treat our wife matters and directly impacts our prayer life, God does not listen when we treat our wife treacherously (in other words mistreat) them.
(Transition) this leads to the next duty, responsibility of the Christian husband.
Husbands support your wives
Husbands support your wives
Physical, financial, emotional, and. . . Love, respect and support work together to make a strong Christian marriage that is essential if going to have a good Christian home.
Support by providing for family (1Tim5:8)
The husband, and in turn father has the duty, the responsibility to provide for the family.
8 But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
1Tim5:8 says you deny the faith when you don’t provide for your own.
Even the unbelievers believe in providing for the family
It is suggested not to marry if you cannot provide for your wife financially.
(Story) - Joe and his two questions to me when asked for Tabby’s hand in marriage
Support by letting her contribute (Pro31:16-27; 1Tim5:14; Tit2:4-5)
Even in the biblical times there are example of wives contributing to the family.
16 She considers a field and buys it; From her earnings she plants a vineyard. 17 She girds herself with strength And makes her arms strong.
According to Pro31:16 the wife buys from her earnings and plants.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies belts to the tradesmen.
Pro31:24 says she makes, sells and supplies
31 Give her the product of her hands, And let her works praise her in the gates.
So she works hard and contributes to the support of the family, under the authority of the husband who allows and supports, all the while not forgetting her duties at home either, you can read more Pro31:16-31).
A few more essentials
A few more essentials
In being brief, here are a few more duties, essentials for a Christian husband.
Lead your wife (Eph5:26)
26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,
Lead her by the word, the word in you and the word you share with her.
Understand her (Pro20:5; 1Pt3:7)
5 A plan in the heart of a man is like deep water, But a man of understanding draws it out.
have understanding by trying to understand, to draw out information from a place of love and care.
We already looked at 1Pt3:7, so won’t read it again, but it covers dwelling with understanding.
Serve her (Mk10:45; Jm1:19)
Jesus said this
45 “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.”
And may service start at home!
Serve by being willing to listen, and slow to anger, but look what more it says.
19 This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger;
Slow to speak, somethings serving is just listening and not saying anything at all.
Be intoxicated by her (Pro5:19)
Intoxicated, really, you may think I’m crazy but look at
19 A loving doe, a graceful deer— may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love.
(Transition) may the wife of your youth, or your old age now, intoxicate you, may her love enthrall you! - Don’t let her love go unnoticed and be there showing your love, for that is an essential in a Christian marriage and a Christian home.
So, a Christian husband armed with some duties, essentials is one who
Loves his wife in every way, (Spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically)
Respects his wife and treats her with respect
Supports her, financially, emotionally, spiritually
(Transition) we can do this men, husbands because we are Christians first, then husbands. We can do this because we have God’s instructions and are willing to put them into action.
Christians first! -(Invitation slide) invitation (Song slide) song, (prayer slide) prayer (exit slide)
(Below is for handout only)
The 10 commandments of Husbands
You shall not take your wife for granted, but will honor and respect her as your equal (1Pt3:7)
Your highest allegiance, except God, shall be to your wife, not relatives or friends (Gen2:24)
You shall frequently tell her how important and valuable she is to you (Php2:3; Pro31:10-11)
You shall hold your wife’e love by the same means that you won it (Sos5:10-16)
You shall actively establish family discipline with your wife’s help (Eph6:4)
Remember to do all the little things for your wife when you say you will (Mt5:37)
Keep your eyes on your wife not your neighbor’s (Pro5:15-20; Job31:1; Jer5:8)
You shall make every effort to see things from your wife’s point of view (Gen21:12)
You shall not fail to kiss your wife every morning (Sos8:1)
You shall not be stingy with your wife when it comes to money (Est5:3)