Widows Serving Jesus

Last week, we started this discussion in 1 Timothy 5:3 concerning widows. Apparently women have been outliving men for a long time. And whether they were widowed because their husband had died or divorced and abandoned them due because of their faith or chasing after another woman, God cares deeply that these women who have been left alone be cared for.

In this culture, these women were often left in a position that they could not care for themselves.

So, last week we discussed the need for believers to care for their elderly family. Paul says that the church has a role in caring for widows but it is to be the last line of defense. First the the responsibility falls on children and grandchildren. Then, male extended relatives. Then, female extended relatives. Only if these do not exist does it come the role of the church to care for these widows. But, the church should care for these women.

When we read this, it is easy to think that widows are simply burdens on someone. But, Paul quickly changes the tone and focus to show that that is anything but the case. Most widows were not a burden to the church, but a valuable asset to the church and kingdom work.

+I have done many funerals of women who have lost their husbands. There is often a period of shock and grief. But, then comes this feeling of now what. I’m not really good to anybody. I’m just existing. But Paul says that is not the case. Now is a unique time in your life that you can devote to the service to the Lord.

In the church today when we talk about widow ministry, we tend to talk about a ministry of the church to widows. But, in the early church widow ministry just wasn’t ministry to widows; it was a ministry of widows to the church.

Apparently there was a selected group of widows who ministered very intentionally to the church.

Notice v.9

1 Timothy 5:9 ESV

9 Let a widow be enrolled if she is not less than sixty years of age, having been the wife of one husband,

Some of your translations actually mention being enrolled on a list. Some scholars say that this was a support list. But, after studying this. I don’t think that this was a list of support. I think Paul has just taught the church to help any widow in the church that has no one else in vv.3-8. Not just the super godly ones who are over 60 as the first requirement mentions. As we are going to see, another requirement to be on the list was that they showed hospitality (v.9). Destitute women in need of support were in no position to offer hospitality.

Not all widows needed help. Many of them were doing fine on there on. So, I’m in the camp that believes, he’s talking about a group of godly widows that offer unique ministry to the church.

They might visit the sick or others who were alone. They would be intentional with working with other mothers who were struggling in the home in relating to their husband, or dealing with the kids, or other problems managing the home. Or, just needed a mentor in following Christ.

Superheros came to my mind when I studied about this group of widows. Like the teenage mutant ninja turtles who were a special group of specially trained fighting ninja turtles that saved America during the early 1990s. Or, the Superfriends, (Superman, Wonderwoman, Batman and Robin, Aquaman, and I think there were a few others) who saved us every Saturday morning during the 1970’s and 80’s.

In the same way, not every person could be a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle or be on the Superfriend list, not every widow could be on the list that Paul refers to that are special ministers to the church.

+So realize this, just because you are old, a widow, or a widower does not mean that you don’t have a purpose and can’t be used by God. You can serve in ways that many younger married folks can’t.

I. Qualifications for Serving the Lord as a Widow (v.9)

To be qualified as a Superfriend, you had to be able to fly, or have a magic rope, or talk to sea animals with you mind. To be on the list qualified to serve the church as a widow, you had to have sought to live as a godly woman with godly priorities of womanhood.

So, if you are a younger woman right now, think these are the qualities that I want to be pursuing. If I do, I will be qualified to help minister to other younger women when I’m older.

What are these priorities you should be pursuing?

She is to be a widow who:

A. Is not less that sixty years of age. (v.9a)

In this culture, it was expected at 60 years of age for a person to retire form their activities to a life of contemplation. It was the age that many became priests and priestesses in other religions according to Plato.

It was also recognized that 60 was the age that “romantic” desires tended to wane. I can’t speak from experience on that. It’s what all those books I have said about this.

So these women would have a little more time but also reputation and the compassion only gained through experience to serve the church.

B. The wife of one husband (v.9b)

We have seen a phrase very similar to this recently. Back in 1 Tim. 3, we say that elders and deacons were to be “the husband of one wife.” (3:2, 12)

I argued there that I’m in the camp that doesn’t believe that has anything to do with marital status. I believe that he was talking about a character quality of a man completely loyal and devoted to his wife. The greek reads, “a one woman man.” He has eyes and a heart for one woman, his wife.

I think that is the very same thing here. He is not talking about marital status or remarriage. He is about to call young widows to be remarried. Would that disqualify them for future service to the church? I think is talking about a character quality of a woman who has been pure and faithful to her marital relationship.

C. Has a reputation for good works (v.9c)

Her good works act as a witness to her spiritual character and her genuine faith. Then Paul goes forward to define the type of good works he thinks is appropriate for a godly woman. To be on the widow list qualified for service she must be a woman who:

1. Has brought up children. (v.9)

This widow has been a godly mother. The word he uses translated, “bought up children.” appears only here the NT. it means to “nourish children.” It means you have reared them to follow the Lord. This is a great privilege of spiritual womanhood and one of her greatest responsibilities.

A few things immediately come to mind. One would be that not all wives can have children. But, then recognize, the children don’t have to be her biological children. You can raise children to love Jesus that you have adopted and are now your own.

Then there is the issue of “the gift of singleness.” There is a place for woman who have remained single their entire life in ministering to the church. But, it’s not the norm in biblical womanhood. These widows will be working with young mothers, so they need to know the experience first hand.

2. Has shown hospitality. (v.9)

In the ancient world there were no modern motels or hotels. There were inns, but they could be dirty and dangerous. So when Christians travelled, they depended on the hospitality of other believers to house them and feed them. This was a part of the honor of the church in each community.

Phoebe comes to mind in Romans 16:2

Romans 16:2 ESV

2 that you may welcome her in the Lord in a way worthy of the saints, and help her in whatever she may need from you, for she has been a patron of many and of myself as well.

3. Has washed the feet of the saints (v.9)

In that culture, where you traveled by foot or donkey on dirt road in sandals, feet got very dirty. It was usually the jobs of the house servants to wash feet of guests. It was not a glorious job.

But, you will remember Jesus washing the feet of the disciples and then instructing them.

John 13:15–16 ESV

15 For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you. 16 Truly, truly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him.

She is a woman of humility who doesn’t seek to exalt herself. But to do whatever she is called to in the service of Christ.

4. Has cared for the afflicted (v.9)

The word translated “afflicted” could be translated as “under pressure.” She is willing and able to help those under pressure. The world is full of pressure. Woman may be facing all kinds of emotional pressure or mental pressure or even financial pressure. She is weighed on by the world.

This widow has been a woman who has provided a should to cry on, a listening ear, and hear that cares.

5. Has devoted herself to every good work (v.9)

This speaks to her zeal. “Devoted.” She has energy as she serves the Lord. She doesn’t serve because she has to. She serves the Lord because she wants to. It is evident to everyone who looks at her.

Those are qualities that every godly woman should strive for. Be the kind of woman qualified to serve the Lord as a widow on the service list.

Now he made a point that these should be older widows that give up the right to remarry and give themselves to full devotion to the Lord.

What about the younger widows?

Paul says that God has a different plan for younger widows than choosing not to marry and just focusing on serving the Lord.

Here’s Paul’s command to younger widows.

1 Timothy 5:14 ESV

14 So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander.

Just above that he gave the reasons this is best.

1. It’s a vow that they likely won’t be able to keep. (vv.11-12)

Paul’s concern that in the moment of extreme grief over the loss of her husband a woman and being thankful for the church that she make this vow to remain single and serve with the widows with the single devotion to the church.

That may be fine for a while. Until that new guy comes along and thinks that she deserves some attention. And she starts dreaming of what it would be like to be a wife again. That God given desire in her to have children starts to burn in her soul.

1 Timothy 5:11–12 ESV

11 But refuse to enroll younger widows, for when their passions draw them away from Christ, they desire to marry 12 and so incur condemnation for having abandoned their former faith.

The word that is translated “faith” (pistis) could also be tranlated “pledge.” She abandons her pledge to put Christ first and give all her devotion to the Lord not needing a husband and children. When she does, what does that say to the church and the world about the commitment of believers.

Numbers 30:9 teaches something about responsibility of woman making that kind of pledge.

Numbers 30:9 ESV

9 (But any vow of a widow or of a divorced woman, anything by which she has bound herself, shall stand against her.)

So now her word stands against her because she broke her vow to God.

And, let’s she she decides to keep the vow, but then she starts to resent God because of the vow.

In light of what we know about young woman desiring marriage, it’s better not to make that vow.

Paul also says, we know something else about young women that would make it better now to make this vow.

2. Most are not spiritually mature enough for this pledge. (v.13)

Now what I’m about it read is not Bradley, it’s Paul. So, I don’t want any mean emails or texts over this.

1 Timothy 5:13 ESV

13 Besides that, they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not.

He says by doing the ministry that they are going to be doing, going house to house to visit mothers and other women, they are likely going to become idlers. Fall into the sin of idleness.

Ministry visits will likely devolve into just trivial talk.

Worse than that, it could devolve into gossip and being a busybody. You know what that looks like don’t you. “I’ve got a prayer request that we need to pray about. Let me tell you! I heard that Sally’s husband was seeing another woman. And Martha said she saw them out all night long.”

Paul also says they will learn to be “busybodies.” They are going to spend most of their time with their nose in other people’s business. “saying what they should not.” (v.13)

When women turn into gossips and busybodies saying what they should not it makes life hard on the pastor and it destroys the witness of the church. So Paul says don’t even light that match.

Proverbs 26:20 ESV

20 For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases.

It takes a very spiritual mature believing woman to minister to families in a constructive way.

Young widows have a place. It’s making a difference in your home. You make a difference for the Kingdom of God loving and serving your husband and children first. If you are faithful, your time will come that you can really influence others. And older women, widows or not, if you have been faithful our younger women need you.

I want to close with a story about the Scottish preacher Ian MacClaren that was told by John MacArthur about the impact serving the home has on serving the Lord.

1 Timothy: The MacArthur New Testament Commentary The Obligation of the Church to Maintain High Standards for Widows Who Serve in the Church

As they were talking, she began to wipe her eyes with the corner of her apron, so Dr. MacClaren said, “What’s disturbing you?”

“Oh,” she said, “Sometimes I feel I have done so little and when I think about it it makes my heart heavy, because really I’ve done so little for Jesus.”

“When I was a wee girl the Lord spoke to my heart and I surrendered to Him. And I wanted to live for Him, oh so much. But I feel I haven’t done anything.”

“What have you done with your life?” he asked.

“Oh nothing,” she said, “just nothing. I’ve washed dishes, cooked three meals a day, taken care of my children, mopped the floor, mended the clothes, you know, everything a mother does, that’s all I’ve done.”

MacClaren sat back in his chair and asked, “Where are your boys?”

“Oh, she spoke, “You know I named them all for the gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. You know them all and you know where Mark is. You ordained him. He went to China. He’s learned the language and now he is able to minister to the people in the name of the Lord.”

“Where’s Luke?” MacClaren said.

“You know well enough where he is because you sent him out and I had a letter from him the other day. He is in Africa and says a revival has broken out at his mission station.”

“And Matthew?” he queried.

“He’s with his brother in China and they are working together. And John, who’s nineteen, came to me last night to say God has laid Africa on his heart. He said, ‘I’m going to Africa, but don’t worry about it, Mother, because the Lord has shown me that I am to stay with you until you go home to glory, and then I’ll go. Until then I have to take care of you.”

MacClaren looked at that elderly saint and said, “Your life has been wasted, you say?”

“Yes, it has been wasted.”

“You have been cooking and mopping and washing—but I would like to see the reward when you are called home!”

Regardless if your children grow up to be missionaries, bricklayers, lawyers, or ditch diggers. When believing women serve the home, they are serving the Lord and making a difference for our king. Never be afraid to serve the Lord where he called you.