Love for the Church

What we think love is

Lust or Sexual attraction vs friendship

The former doesn’t make sense for love in the context of the church

The latter can be superficial

Something you can’t control—a mysterious force

This is half true

Internal feeling of love—on a psychological level—is a similar chemical function to craving (When you just want a piece of chocolate, you don’t choose that; it just is)

Love is blind—sometimes you don’t know why you love the person you do—others may disapprove but you can’t help it.

There’s some truth to this: God initiates love with us

1 John 4:10 (CSB)

Love consists in this: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the atoning sacrifice, for our sins.

Our ability to love actually flows from our experience of God’s love.

But, love is not just a feeling that we can’t control.

It’s an action we’re commanded to carry out—if you are just waiting for the feeling of love, that’s going to be very harmful to your relationships and you’re never going to love God or people.

1 Peter 1:22–23 (CSB)

...Show sincere brotherly love for each other, from a pure heart love one another constantly, because you have been born again…

There’s a couple things we need to do with this passage.

1) We need to understand what Peter meant by love

2) We need to know who we are called to love

3) We need to know how to love

Definitions—7 words related to our word love in the Greek; 3 we care about for this discussion

eros: passion, sexual love

love at first sight

important part of God’s design for human relationships (ILL: Song of Songs)

eros must grow into a greater love for a relationship to persevere

eros in the scriptures:

eros informs depth of zeal and passion we should have for God (not in a sexual sense, but a burning in us) (SoS as ILL for God’s love)

eros also informs the adulterous passion people have by nature for things other than God

phileo: brotherly/bonded love (contrasts with eros)

bond as tight as brothers (not merely fondness as some say)

deep, not shallow

ILL: Those who serve together in the armed forces — Brother’s in Arms (those who have gone to war together)

phileo in the scriptures

informs the way that God’s people should see each other; bonded as brothers

informs the idols in the world that we are bonded to and which we must give up (Eph 5, do not be partners with workers of immorality)

agape: unconditional love

The love God has for us (To what extent has God loved?—unconditionally; he died for all)

The love we are commanded to have for God (To what extent do we love God?)

Love the lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength — greatest commandment

In the passage—the love we are called to have for our brothers and sisters

1 Peter 1:22–23 (CSB)

...Show sincere brotherly love [phileo] for each other, from a pure heart love [agape] one another constantly, because you have been born again…

Difference between eros and agape in marriage — commitment

passion has it’s limits

ILL: What if he/she commits adultery?

Peter says to love for the right purposes (from a pure heart)

Motive of love: Because you have been loved by men or because you have been loved by God? (A crucial and difficult distinction)

If you love because God has loved you, adultery is forgivable.

But if your love is only a reciprocal love—you love because your spouse loves you—then its not unconditional; it’s not a perfect love.

Difference between phileo and agape in our relationship with God — commitment

if you’ve ever been betrayed by a friend, you know phileo has it’s limits

agape is limitless love; unconditional

unconditional means you never ‘love if’; there are not conditions

This is the love Peter calls us to have for each other.

ii. Who is one another?

We have

defined love

now lets talk about who the object of our love is supposed to be

Peter wrote:

1 Peter 1:22–23 (CSB)

...Show sincere brotherly love for each other, from a pure heart love one another constantly, because you have been born again…

The question is who is Peter saying to love unconditionally, from a pure heart, constantly, regardless of what situations arise?

Jesus told us and I think this is what Peter had in mind:

Matthew 12:46–50 (CSB)

While he was still speaking with the crowds, his mother and brothers were standing outside wanting to speak to him. Someone told him, “Look, your mother and your brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.”

He replied to the one who was speaking to him, “Who is my mother and who are my brothers?” Stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”

We often make the mistake of thinking that we are supposed to love the world.

We are in many ways.

Community outreach ministries check this kind of love off the list.

We are not commanded to love our brothers and sisters in the church in such a way—unconditionally, continually, from a pure heart—that the community around us knows that we are followers of Jesus because of how we live.

John 13:35 (CSB)

By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love [agape] one another.

The others Paul speaks of are your brothers and sisters in the church.

Further, Jesus said that our one anothers are those who do the will of God

There are over 240 million people in the US that profess to be Christians. (out of 328 million total)

No where near 240 million people show up to church on Sunday

Somewhere around 60 million people show up to church on a Sunday at one of roughly 350,000 nation wide.

Further, going to church doesn’t make you a Christian

Loving each other is what defines you

That’s hard

Narrow is the gate and difficult is the road that leads to life. (Matt 7:13)

church membership as an imperfect, but necesary metric

Revisit: The love we have for God is gauged by our devotion to our brothers and sisters in the church.

iii. How do we love each other?

We have

defined love as unconditional love

identified the object of our love—brothers and sisters in Christ in the church

Brass tacks — practically, what to do

constantly

In the same way you still love your spouse when you go to work, just because you don’t see the church every day doesn’t mean you don’t love them.

We’re called to a constant love

attentiveness to needs

readiness to help

interest in the lives of others — THIS IS LACKING BIG TIME IN ALL CHURCHES

pure heart: God initiated love

What if my brother sins against me?

the world says, ‘go your own way’ or ‘get even’

Jesus says forgive and reconcile

Protocols in the church for reconciliation

Mediation by the church

Church restoration process (Matt 18) if the other party doesn’t want to reconcile.

What if I don’t like someone?

You don’t pick your brothers and sisters, but you still love them.

Actually do something

James 2:15–17 (CSB)

If a brother or sister is without clothes and lacks daily food and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, stay warm, and be well fed,” but you don’t give them what the body needs, what good is it? In the same way faith, if it does not have works, is dead by itself.

When there’s a need, do you respond to the need with

I hope it works out?

Good luck with that?

or I’ll pray for you?

Or do you do what you can to meet the need?

James seems to say that real love between believers is demonstrated through action.

And if there is no action, there is no brotherhood, there is no faith.

IOW if you like the Christian culture but not the Christian activity then you are not a Christian.