Diffusing Conflict - Acts 11:1-18

“Diffusing Conflict”

Acts 11:1-18

©Copyright 2003 by Rev. Bruce Goettsche, July 13, 2003

Last Sunday we looked at a big change that was taking place in the early church: the gospel was being extended to the Gentiles and it was becoming apparent that the Gentiles did not have to become Jews or do anything else before they could become believers . . . they just had to believe. Peter saw the evidence of God’s acceptance of the Gentiles and Peter baptized the friends and relatives of Cornelius who put their faith in Christ. He remained with the people in Caesarea for a few days.

In chapter 11 of the book of Acts we have the record of what happened when Peter returned to Jerusalem. Word of what happened in Caesarea got back to Jerusalem before Peter did. (Those of us who live in small communities are well aware of this phenomenon). The apostles and brothers were ready with their criticism of his actions.

It appears the leaders of the church were not so much angry that Peter preached to the Gentiles, Jesus had certainly commanded a proclamation of the gospel to all people. They were upset that Peter stayed in the homes of the Gentiles and treated them as equals that made them angry.

This is a valuable passage for us because we all face criticism in our lives. Steve Brown says, “Most of the time you should ignore criticism. After all, your enemies will believe it before they hear it; your friends won’t believe it after they hear it; and most folks will never hear it anyway.” Sometimes however, the criticism is significant and must be addressed. Peter was facing one of those times when he had to answer his critics. These leaders were not just criticizing Peter, they were criticizing the idea that the Gentiles could be equal members of the Kingdom of God. It was an issue he could not ignore.

This morning we are going to look carefully at how Peter responded to his critics because it will help us as we deal with those who criticize and attack our behavior.

HE EXPLAINED THE FACTS (v. 4)

The first thing we are told is, “Peter began and explained everything to them precisely as it had happened”. Peter could have resented the criticism of his friends and become defensive. However instead of resenting the criticism, he explained what happened.

No one enjoys criticism. When we are criticized we feel attacked and often fight back. We tend to view conflict as a test of strength. When someone criticizes we want to “win” rather than bring understanding. Peter understood that much criticism comes out of ignorance. People react to what they think is true before they have all the facts. Much criticism could be diffused if we simply explained carefully what happened.

Peter laid out the facts. He fully explained the situation. The Greek word implies that he left nothing out. He told them his dream, the arrival of the messengers at just the right time, and his visit to the home of Cornelius.

Steve Brown tells about a pastor who was criticized because he supposedly went to a meeting his wife was attending and forced her to leave. He tried to ignore the charges but finally had to address them. He took out an ad in the local newspaper which read,

In the first place, I never attempted to influence my wife as to her choice of a meeting. In the second place my wife didn’t attend the meeting in question. In the third place, I did not attend the meeting. I the fourth place, neither my wife nor myself had any inclination to attend the meeting. In the fifth place, I do not now have, and never have had, a wife. [Jumping Hurdles p. 128]

Now it should be pointed out that sometimes people criticize us for things we actually did do wrong. Sometimes that is the toughest criticism to receive. We don’t want people to see our faults. However, we should still admit our mistake and try to make things right. It is still better to tell the truth.

Often men will not ask for directions even though it is apparent to everyone else that they are lost. They would rather drive around in circles for hours than admit a mistake and get help. It’s the same way in life. When we make a mistake, when we fail, when we mess up, we need to admit it so we can get back on the correct road.

Often when we are criticized we twist the truth (a polite way of saying, we lie). We tell someone that we “didn’t get around to something” when in reality we had no intention of doing what was asked. We tell someone that we didn’t understand what was expected when we did understand and just didn’t follow through. We are good at lying and making excuses.

But there is another popular response to criticism: it’s the attack. When someone criticizes us we say things like, “But, what about the time you . . . . “. It’s the old “bait and switch routine”. We distract someone and turn the conversation to them rather than dealing with what is wrong with us.

We don’t like criticism, but sometimes it actually can be helpful if we will listen with an open and honest heart. So, the first thing Peter did was tell the truth about what happened and he did it with gentleness and respect.

HE APPEALED TO WITNESSES (v. 12)

The next thing Peter did was appeal to his witnesses. In verse 12 Peter mentions, “These six brothers also went with me, and we entered the man’s house.”

At the end of chapter 10 verse 23 we are told Peter went to Caesarea and some of the men from Joppa accompanied him. I think Peter encouraged these men to come along with him because he knew he might need witnesses.

The number of six witnesses is significant because in that day the Egyptian and Roman laws declared that seven witnesses were necessary to prove a case. Peter does not ask the leaders to simply take his word for it, he invites them to check out the facts.

It’s not always possible, but it is always a good idea to have someone who can verify the facts.

HE APPEALED TO SCRIPTURE (v. 16)

The third thing Peter did was appeal to Scripture. Peter appealed to the words of Jesus,

16 Then I remembered what the Lord had said: ‘John baptized with water, but you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit.’ 17 So if God gave them the same gift as he gave us, who believed in the Lord Jesus Christ, who was I to think that I could oppose God?”

The Word of God must always be our arbitrator in times of disagreement. Peter argument was simple: if a true believer is baptized with the Holy Spirit, and the Gentiles were baptized with the Holy Spirit . . . it would seem they must be true believers just like we are.

It is much easier to defend yourself from the critic when you are following the commands and principles of the Word of God. In the times when we disagree we need to get into the habit of saying, “What does the Bible say?”

Martin Luther is well known as one of the lead men in the Reformation. At that time Luther proclaimed (much like Peter and Paul) that men were saved not by their good works, but by God’s grace. Luther spoke at a time when the church had become corrupt. They were making all kinds of money by selling indulgences, which were credits that would apply toward Heaven. In other words you could purchase “extra credit” so to speak.

The church argued that anything declared by the pope or was a tradition of the church was equal in authority with the Word of God. Luther believed (as do we) that popes, church councils, boards, committees, and pastors err. The only truly reliable standard is the Bible.

This created quite an uproar in the church. Luther was summoned to the city of Worms. He was given the chance to recant of his “heresy” before the church leaders. Luther explained his position and said simply, “Unless you can show me from the Scriptures that I am wrong, here I stand, I can do no other.” Luther was willing to be corrected only if they could show him from scripture that he was wrong.

Peter related the facts, pointed to his witnesses and pointed to the Word of God as his authority for what he did. To the credit of his critics we read,

18 When they heard this, they had no further objections and praised God, saying, “So then, God has granted even the Gentiles repentance unto life.”

CONCULSIONS

This morning we have looked at the critics that confronted Peter. It is true that we should encourage rather than discourage. However, let’s face reality. Criticism will come our way. Sometimes you deserve the criticism but sometimes we do not. If you are criticized unjustly please keep these words of Teddy Roosevelt in mind,

“It’s not the critic who counts, not the one who points out how the strong man stumbles or how the doer of deeds might have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred with sweat and dust and blood; who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”

Let me draw three principles from this passage.

We See the Importance of this new Gentile inclusion. We have seen over the last two weeks (and there is more to come) how important an issue this was to the early church. You may not realize it, but it is still an important issue. The question is this: Is salvation granted to us because of what we do, or is it a gift from God to anyone who would believe? It is the crucial debate of the church. Are we saved by grace alone or by God’s gift and our hard work? This passage argues that we are saved by God’s gift alone.

Do you understand that there is NOTHING you can do to earn salvation? Do you understand that Jesus has done for you EVERYTHING that is necessary for you to have eternal life? The Bible tells us that we must believe. We must rest on His work and His work alone. The true believer is set free.

I’ve tried to come up with a picture of the difference between a person who has received God’s grace versus a person who is trying to earn salvation. The person who is trying to earn salvation is like a fugitive.

The fugitive is always living life looking over their shoulder. They develop relationships but are always afraid the other person is going to learn the truth about them. They may get a job or start a family, but they always live with the fear the authorities are going to catch up to them and take them away. The person who is trying to earn salvation knows the truth about their efforts. They know they do not measure up to God’s standards. They can pretend and try to cover things up but you know some day your true heart will be uncovered.

The person who trusts God’s grace lives as a person who has been declared innocent by the courts. They don’t fear the accusations of others because the court has spoken. They don’t look over their shoulders because they have nothing to fear. They can devote themselves to living a good life and enjoying it fully.

Which picture describes you?

We see an example of how to handle criticism. Though many critics should simply be ignored, Peter shows Christian maturity in the way he handles the conflict. Instead of getting mad, making excuses, or counter-attacking, he tells the truth, brings in his witnesses, and appeals to the teaching of Jesus.

I wonder, are you facing the critics? Are you defensive? Are you telling the truth or have you tried to avoid the issue? Have you looked at the Bible to see if your critics are correct? Our best response to criticism is to ask God if the complaint is valid. If it is, we need to change. If it isn’t, just ignore it. Remember Augustine’s prayer: O Lord, deliver me from this lust of always vindicating myself.

Our job is to live to the Lord. We will never please everyone. When the critics speak we should listen, explain, make any necessary changes, and do all these things with love, patience and gentleness. When you have done all this and the person continues to pursue you, it may be time to move on. The critics of the world can paralyze you. You can spend so much time trying to get everyone to like you that you end up losing who you really are. There is only one opinion that matters, and that opinion is the one that is held by the Lord.

We see some sober warnings for those who criticize. These Jewish leaders were upset with Peter before they had all the information. To their credit they listened as Peter explained the fact and then they admitted they were wrong and congratulated Peter on his good work.

Before you start to criticize another maybe it is a good idea to ask yourself some questions:

Do I have all the information? Before you are critical check to see if you know what you are talking about.Is my criticism necessary or petty? Let’s face it, we want people to give us a break in life. We want them to understand that we are not going to do everything perfectly. If we want that from others, we should begin by extending that courtesy to others.Do I have the right spirit? Am I being mean spirited or is my criticism meant to be helpful? Am I being aggressive or gentle? Am I seeking to help the person or destroy the person?Am I really trying to advance the Kingdom of God or am I seeking to advance my own preferences, prejudices, and ideas?

If we would ask ourselves these questions before we dare to criticize another, we would criticize much less. If we spent less time criticizing, and more time seeking to help each other with a gentle spirit, we would find people more receptive to our words. And of course, if we spent less time criticizing each other, we would spend a lot less time having to eat our words.

©Copyright 2003 by Rev. Bruce Goettsche, July 13, 2003