The Unforgiving Servant

Do you all know what a grudge is? That thing where no matter what you either don’t forgive them or you just don’t like them because they’re your arch enemy?

A really really good example of this is Ford, Dodge, and Cheverolet

Honestly I don’t think there is a more widely known and participated in Grudge match. Wherever you go you can talk to anyone who likes cars and say I love Ford or I love Dodge, or I love Chevy and you will either get a heartfelt agreement or an intense opposite reaction to your statement.

Even in the ads, each company says they are better than the others… and they don’t just say we’re better than the competitors, they mention the other companies by name.

When it really comes down to which is better, you can’t really say one is better than the other because they all have they’re strengths which make them best in different areas of car manufacturing… but don’t say that too loud...

Have you ever held a grudge? Have you ever been so upset at someone that you straight up refused to talk them or forgive them?

Forgiveness

Last time I spoke we talked about conflict resolution and talking to those people that hurt us to try and resolve that hurt. A large part of that is Forgiveness. Even if that person never admits to wronging you, forgiveness on your part is huge to being able to move on.

This week we’re looking at the last section in Matthew 18. It’s entitled, “The parable of the unforgiving servant.”

We’re going to split it up into two parts, Forgiveness being the first part, and then what happens when we are hypocritical in the area of forgiveness in our own lives.

Let’s pray and get into it.

Everyone turn in your bibles to Matthew 18:21

Matthew 18:21–27 ESV

21 Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times. 23 “Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. 24 When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. 25 And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. 26 So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ 27 And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.

In v. 21-22 Peter asks Jesus how many times he is to forgive someone who perpetually sins against him. How many times, as many as 7? How long should I give grace and forgiveness?

Jesus’ reply to Peter is this, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.”

Essentially Jesus is telling Peter that he should forgive as many times as is needed. As many times as he is wronged he should show forgiveness.

In our humanness we are often tempted to take the previous passage and interpret it incorrectly. It says that if the person who sins against us won’t listen to us, witnesses or the church they should be treated as a gentile or a tax collector…we would take this to mean that we don’t have to forgive them at that point. We tried and they were unwilling to budge so I am well within my right to not forgive them.

But see, that passage is not saying that we don’t have to forgive them, it means that they should no longer concern us and that we should leave the judgement to God. Never does it say, therefore you do not have to show forgiveness.

Even if they don’t hear you and you’re not able to reconcile with them, forgiveness is still needed. It’s needed because that is what Jesus would ask us to do. It’s the turn the other cheek mentality. I know that this person is stubborn and has hurt me and is currently hurting me, but I’m going to forgive them anyway.

Jesus goes on to finish the parable…

Matthew 18:28–35 ESV

28 But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ 29 So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ 30 He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. 31 When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. 32 Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 33 And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ 34 And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. 35 So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”

So this servant does the same as his master with a little more violence, and the fellow servant does the same as this servant did with the master… He pleaded for mercy and time to pay what he owed.

But this guy is not like his master, he is not merciful, he does not act in love. Instead he get’s his fellow servant thrown in jail until he could pay up.

Before we go on, this is definitely the right thing to do right? He owes money, so he should be locked up until he can pay… Wrong!

When the master of this servant found out what had happened and that he had not paid the mercy shown to him to his fellow servants he threw him in prison… just like this servant had done to his fellow servant.

V. 35 says, “so also my heavenly father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”

So basically, we are the servants and God is the master.

The entire message of this parable? Forgive as much as is necessary, have mercy whenever possible, and if you don’t, God will remember and what goes around comes around.

Guys, if we have a grudge that we’re are holding on to… If we are so angry at someone because they did the unthinkable and forgiving them is something we refuse to do… think about what God is thinking about that, how he sees us in that moment.

God loved us so much that he sent Jesus to die on the cross so that we would not have to die when we sinned, so that we wouldn’t have to prepare blood offerings to God because of our sinful, broken nature.

How hypocritical are we being when we refuse to forgive??? God forgives us… EVERY TIME… no matter how badly we screw up or how horrible the deed is that we did… EVERY TIME!

Church, we must be better than everyone else. One thing I’ve learned since becoming a pastor is this and I’m going to be quite frank…

Pastors are held to a higher standard of living as a Christian because of our job title. And they are held to this standard by people who should be holding themselves and the others in their church to that same standard just as the pastor does for them.

I’m going to get very real right now and I hope that those that need to hear this can receive it in grace because I love you all…

There are those of you watching this right now who have hurt in your hearts, who have held onto that hurt with an iron fist and refuse to let go, refuse to acknowledge it, and refuse to forgive because in your mind you were wronged and you won’t make a move until so and so admits that they wronged you.

I’m sorry but that’s not Jesus, that’s not his message and it’s not what he asks of each of us myself included, and believe me I have experience in this area.

God want’s to move in this church, I know this because He told me… and if you’re tuning in from somewhere else, what I’m about to say applies to you as well…

I asked God where He wanted to take this church, what he wanted to do, what vision He had for us…

He said only this, We can’t move forward until there is healing and reconciliation within the lives of the people who are meant to be leaders in this church.

That healing and reconciliation starts with you, whether you’re the one hurting or the one who has hurt. It starts with you. If you have un-forgiveness in your heart, God can’t use you. If you’ve hurt someone and refuse to admit it and apologize to them, God can’t use you.

Forgive! God forgave and forgives, Jesus forgave when they hung him on the cross… He said, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”

If Jesus can forgive man for killing him, If God can forgive us again, and again, and again, and again, knowing full well He’s going to have to forgive again… we can certainly forgive someone who has caused hurt in our lives.

And let me tell you something, it’s freeing. When you push past the selfishness that keeps you from forgiving someone, all of a sudden your heart is light, you’re free.

Don’t let un-forgiveness create pain in your life. Forgive, as many as seventy-seven times.