To the Families in Afton
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ME: Historical Families
ME: Historical Families
I read a story Dr. Chuck Quarles shared at a pastor’s conference once.
Dr. Quarles shared about a time this well-known biblical scholar took him out to lunch.
At lunch, Dr. Quarles gushed over the productivity as both a thinker and a writer of this scholar.
Dr. Quarles asked this scholar how he managed to accomplish all this amazing and prolific work.
He shamefully mumbled in response,
“I sacrificed my son...”
Unsure if he heard him correctly, Dr. Quarles began to ask him to repeat himself.
With more sternness, the scholar said, “You heard me correctly, I sacrificed my son!”
This man went on to explain how he had been so driven to research, write, publish, and make a name for himself in the academic world,
That he neglected his family.
As his son grew up, his father was not much more than a stranger.
Now his son was a grown man, homeless, sleeping on the streets, unwilling to have a relationship with his father.
This renowned scholar.
Unsure how to respond, Dr. Quarles sought to console this man saying, “I’m sure it’s not your fault.”
The man shocked Dr. Quarles as he snapped back rather emphatically,
“Yes! It is! I did that! People are amazed at how productive I am as a scholar, looking back, I would give up every book I have written just to have my son back.”
This man then looked Dr. Quarles directly in the eyes and told him,
“If you were thinking of walking in my footsteps, I pray to God you won’t.”
At this Pastor’s conference, Dr. Quarles sought to express the impact this haunting conversation had on his life and ministry.
As a result, he began evaluating himself as a husband and a father.
He felt like he began to evaluate himself in those roles for the first time,
Reaching the conclusion that he was blowing it.
After that conversation, he completely changed his priorities,
Adjusting his lifestyle by radically changing his ministry responsibilities.
And he shared how he never once regretted those changes.
This testimony is powerful.
It is an important reminder for us all, not just those of us in full-time ministry.
But for anyone tempted to make a name for themselves,
Or to be the best and most dedicated employee,
Or any other form of inappropriate prioritization.
It is true that children can grow up in a Christ-like home and still become rebellious.
But the outcome is not what parents are responsible for.
Parents are responsible to love, nurture, and disciple their children into Christ-likeness.
Last week, we finished up chapter 5, in reference to the roles in Afton.
This reference to roles continues this morning in Ephesians 6:1-4,
Addressing the Families in Afton.
This is about far more than being a better family.
This instruction is not specifically to parents or children,
It is instruction for all of us;
For those who are single, those who are married, those with children at home, and those with adult children.
Even for those who are children themselves.
As we work through this mornings passage, we will see three marks of Christ-like families.
We will begin with Historical Families,
From there, we will start with the first mark in Eph. 6:1, Obedient Families.
Eph. 6:2-3 shows the second mark, Honorable Families.
The final mark we get from Eph. 6:4, Disciple-making Families.
Then we will conclude with a summary discussion on Christ-like Families.
Let us prepare for this morning’s discussion by going before the Lord in prayer.
PRAY
Just like we saw last week with the husband-wife relationship,
God’s Word reorients the parent-child relationship.
The guidelines given for families in our passage this morning do not stand out much in our culture,
Because our culture has been influenced by God’s Word.
In the ancient world, for example in Hammurabi’s Code, and in the Roman Twelve Tables Law, children were essentially property of the father.
They could be sold or traded to pay off debts owed by the family.
The needs, wants, dreams, or desires of the individual would never take precedent over the family as a unit.
Because of this the property of the family would be passed on,
Always remaining with the family unit,
Even though members of the family would die off.
Throughout the OT, this family structure remained.
The Torah, the first five books of the Bible,
Outline both regulations and challenges of ancient family relations.
Having children was understood as a blessing from God.
While not having children carried this stigma for the parents.
Human life in general was understood as valuable.
Therefore, having children contributed a new object of value to one’s family unit.
We also have to keep in mind that having children was much more challenging in the ancient world.
Not all children survived birth, not all mothers survived birth.
The average lifespan was only 30-40 years.
So parents tend to have children at much younger ages than we do in our society today.
The OT would trace family lines,
Including the line of David.
The entire narrative is actually structured around family lines, violence against family members, and power struggles in families.
Until eventually the family structure is replaced by a monarchy.
We also see the tension of belonging in family, for example in the book of Esther.
And we see wisdom teachings on family throughout Proverbs.
In the prophets, family serves primarily as a metaphor for understanding our relationship with God.
As the family goes, so went the relationship between God and His people.
This continues into the NT, Jesus refers to us as His brothers and sisters and children of God.
He teaches this in Mark 3:31-35;
And his mother and his brothers came, and standing outside they sent to him and called him. And a crowd was sitting around him, and they said to him, “Your mother and your brothers are outside, seeking you.” And he answered them, “Who are my mother and my brothers?” And looking about at those who sat around him, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of God, he is my brother and sister and mother.”
Our covenant with God can be understood as an invitation into a great extended family.
As Jesus redefines God’s relationship with His people,
He also redefines the family.
As we see in the Mark reference, Jesus challenges the undying allegiance to our biological family.
One commentary goes so far to argue that “the first three Gospels demonstrate that family ties are only as good as their potential to support discipleship.”
As we see from the example I opened with and hopefully through our passage this morning,
We will come to understand the danger of this thinking.
Now, it is true, Matthew and Mark offer warnings about enemies coming from within our own households,
There is a command to walk away from siblings, parents, and children to be a disciple of Jesus in Luke 14:26.
Matt. 19:29 and Mark 10:29-30 are promised rewards for leaving their families.
But these are not teaching that we should sacrifice our families on the altar of “For the sake of the Gospel.”
As we have seen, the family unit was deeply intertwined with a person’s identity.
This includes what or who they worshipped.
So they would have to forsake that entrenched identity to worship the One true God,
If they were going to become a follower of Jesus.
The family role remained important in the early Church.
Believers referred to one another as brothers and sisters.
One may have had to detach from their biological family to follow Jesus,
But the Church functioned as a family.
With God as the Father, Jesus as the Son of Man,
Through whom we are adopted into this family.
This means we do not sacrifice our family on the altar of “For the sake of the Gospel,”
But we agree with Cynthia Westfall when she writes,
“Kingdom relationships held a higher priority than family relationships.”
WE: Obedient Families (vs. 1)
WE: Obedient Families (vs. 1)
The first mark of Christ-like families from our passage is obedient families,
Which we see in Eph. 6:1;
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
The background we have been looking at truly sets the stage for the Apostle Paul’s letters.
We see in Paul’s letters this push against the dominant ancient concept of family at that time.
Roman law required citizens who were considered “childbearing age” to marry and have children.
Yet Paul directly contradicts this in 1 Cor. 7:8;
To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am.
Roman culture instituted a structure known as paterfamilias,
Husband dominated families.
As we saw last week, and also 1 Cor. 7:3-4,
Paul challenges this structure introducing sacrificial leadership by the husband and mutual worth between the husband and wife:
The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
Paul even uses maternal imagery of leaders to demonstrate the authority and importance of the mother’s role,
In passages like 1 Thess 2:7;
But we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children.
Then we see the passage we are studying this morning in Ephesians 6
Remember, the foundation of all roles we talked about last week.
From Ephesians 5:21, we submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
This includes the parent-child relationship.
Therefore, Paul begins his specific commands by addressing children,
Something that was not found in the secular codes of that time.
Obedience of children was simply assumed at this time.
Instead, Paul is addressing children as members of the body in Ephesus.
Which also assumes that families as a whole were gathered together in one place for worship.
Paul begins his address to children with a command for obedience.
Children would learn the arts and duties of life under their fathers.
In order for them to learn, it required obedience.
Children was often used metaphorically for individuals who are ignorant or lacking in understanding.
At other times, they represented innocence or simplicity.
These are the type of children Paul has in mind when he calls children to obey their parents here in Eph. 6:1.
The Apostle Peter connects these dots in 1 Pet. 1:14;
As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance,
Looking back at the Gospels, we learn from the example of Jesus regarding the value of children.
Jesus healed boys and girls, Jew and Gentiles children, and poor and wealthy children.
Jesus would welcome the children, inviting them to Him,
Even having to correct the disciples when they sought to prevent the children from coming to Him.
Jesus points to children, directing His followers, who are grown adults, to learn from these children.
Something that was unheard of.
It is one of many examples of Jesus reversing expectations;
The least will be the greatest, the last shall be first, and so on.
Jesus’ interactions and lessons transformed family life in a way that guided Paul’s letters,
Which in turn guided the church.
Children, like all people, were made by God, for God’s glory.
Obedience to parents in the Lord accomplishes, at least, in part, this purpose.
Throughout Ephesians, we have seen God’s plan of uniting the human race in Christ.
In this morning’s passage, children have a responsibility in carrying out this plan.
The responsibility being placed upon children is intergenerational unity.
A mark of the Gentile culture in Ephesus was disobedient children.
Paul includes these rebellious children in some pretty dark lists.
Romans 1:29-31;
They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless.
And 2 Timothy 3:2-5;
For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people.
The people Paul is describing in these lists,
Are people who will receive the judgment of God.
This gives two great motivations for this command to obey,
To avoid God’s judgment and to carry out this responsibility of intergenerational unity.
Paul also gave the same command with further motivation in Col. 3:20;
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
Paul is concerned for children to be responsible.
To be responsible means children will obey their parents.
To recognize that God has given us parents as our authority as we grow into adults ourselves.
This is what it means to be an obedient family.
And this obedience is pleasing to the Lord
Obeying one’s parents is one way that we can ultimately obey the Lord.
Notice though, in our passage this morning,
That it is not absolute obedience of parents.
It is obedience of parents in the Lord,
Making God the ultimate authority, not parents.
However, we are by nature children of wrath, rebellious little sons of disobedience.
Therefore, obeying our parents is difficult.
But whenever a child fails at obeying their parents, they need to be reminded of the fact that Jesus died for the sons of disobedience.
And He offers grace.
Disobedience becomes an opportunity to teach the Gospel.
You do not need to teach a child how to disobey, they pick that up on their own.
But they do need to be taught the Gospel.
GOD: Honorable Families (vs. 2-3)
GOD: Honorable Families (vs. 2-3)
The next mark of Christ-like families are honorable families, in Ephesians 6:2-3;
“Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”
Paul continues to command children,
This time, commanding children to honor their father and mother.
This is a command to respect, to show esteem toward their parents.
It entails the previous command of obeying them.
Because parents will be dishonored when their children disobey.
What does honoring your parents look like?
Does it look like huffing and puffing or pouting or talking back to parents?
No, that is dishonoring to one’s parents.
And to dishonor one’s parents actually transmits to dishonoring God.
Because if a child does not honor his father and mother,
He will not likely honor others, including God, either.
Honoring your father and mother includes adhering to their teachings and by caring for them as they age as well.
This means honoring your parents does not end when you leave the house.
You are to honor and respect your parents always.
Paul describes honoring your father and mother as the first commandment with a promise.
This brings to mind God’s law, the Ten Commandments, in Exodus 20:12;
“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.
Paul’s letters teach us how the law of God no longer condemns those who are in Christ.
Col. 2:13-14 shows;
And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross.
Now that this record of debt has been cancelled
The observance of the ceremonial law is not necessary because Christ fulfilled it.
Paul continues this teaching in Col. 2:16-17;
Therefore let no one pass judgment on you in questions of food and drink, or with regard to a festival or a new moon or a Sabbath. These are a shadow of the things to come, but the substance belongs to Christ.
If you remember back,
Paul taught the same concept but with more vigor earlier in Eph. 2:15;
by abolishing the law of commandments expressed in ordinances, that he might create in himself one new man in place of the two, so making peace,
So Christ abolishes the law of commandments,
The ceremonial law, by fulfilling them,
But regarding what Jesus describes as the “weightier matters of the law,”
According to Matt. 23:23,
These characteristics that are like God,
These permanent foundational principles.
We are still commanded to exhibit these things.
The weightier matter of the law in this case is honoring your parents.
Jesus exemplified this as a child we see in Luke 2:51;
And he went down with them and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them. And his mother treasured up all these things in her heart.
He continued this right up to His death in John 19:25-27;
but standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son!” Then he said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother!” And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home.
Jesus’ final act as a human was to honor His mother by ensuring she would be cared for.
Vs. 3 reveals the promise mentioned in vs. 2,
As well as summarizes why you are to be obedient and honorable families,
So that it will go well with you and so that you may live long in the land.
Going well with you implies general prosperity.
Not necessarily financial prosperity, but spiritual prosperity.
While living long in the land is a reference to the earth.
So, Paul is saying that obedient families and honorable families will be like Spock;
They will live long and prosper on this earth.
After sharing this promise, Paul turns his attention to fathers in vs. 4.
YOU: Disciple-Making Families (vs. 4)
YOU: Disciple-Making Families (vs. 4)
Where we see the final mark of a Christ-like family is Disciple-Making Families, in Eph. 6:4;
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
The father is understood as the head of the household,
By addressing fathers, Paul is expressing the responsibility of authority that comes with being the head of the household.
This responsibility entails bringing up children, discipling your children into Christ-likeness.
Paul gives a prohibition and a command to fathers.
It is applicable for both parents, but Paul is giving special attention to fathers in particular here.
Ideally, both parents would be present in the life of a child.
Discipling your children is not the responsibility of youth pastors, Sunday school teachers, grandparents, or nannies.
It is the responsibility of parents.
Career, ministry, or financial success pales in significance in comparison to this responsibility.
This responsibility, especially for dads, may require you to adjust your lifestyle.
Are you aware of how you are spending your time with your children?
Again, this is important for both parents,
Mothers and fathers, you should be united in the raising of your children, in your discipline and your instruction.
But Paul is placing this responsibility primarily on fathers.
One challenge Paul wants parents to consider he gives as a prohibition.
Paul prohibits you from provoking your children to anger.
A shared command from Col. 3:21;
Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
Andrew Lincoln summarizes this prohibition as forbidding;
“excessively severe discipline, unreasonably harsh demands, abuse of authority, arbitrariness, unfairness, constant nagging and condemnation, subjecting a child to humiliation, and all forms of gross insensitivity to a child’s needs and sensibilities.”
This prohibition was given in contrast to the harsh control fathers exhibited in the ancient world.
Fathers must be loving, fair, and consistent in his treatment of his children.
Some common pitfalls that can lead to a parent provoking anger include:
Forgetting to consider the fact that your child is a child.
Comparing your child to other children.
Inconsistent discipline.
Never expressing your love or approval for them as your child.
Wrongful discipline.
Living vicariously through them.
Threatening to withdraw love as motivation for them.
Overprotecting them.
While not an exhaustive list, these types of actions from parents will likely lead to exasperation in their children.
Which, in turn, provokes them to anger.
Parents, set your target at encouragement, not discouragement.
Instead of provoking them to anger, Paul says to bring your children up.
It is interesting, the Greek word is the same word used back in Eph. 5:29 for nourishes;
For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,
The way it is being used now in vs. 4 then, suggests this idea of nourishing your children.
Nurturing them as a disciples of Christ.
Helping them to flourish as Christ-followers.
To grow up into spiritual maturity.
Parents, God has entrusted you with the minds, the emotions, and the physical care of these vulnerable image-bearers.
Do you view your children in this way?
As these tender image-bearers of God?
This is an important and noble task.
Children do not exist for parents, but parents do for children.
Parents, you must disciple your children, bringing them up into their own personhood before God.
Paul outlines two ways for you to do.
Commanding you to disciple your children through discipline and instruction.
Discipline shapes the will of your child through training.
It is a form of education or upbringing.
It cultivates the will, the morals of children.
This can be direct commands or admonitions,
It can be corrective reproofs,
Or it can be a form of controlled punishment.
Never done out of anger.
Overall, it is used as a means of correction to lead children beyond their childish ways,
Moving them away from folly and toward wisdom and self-control.
Proverbs is littered with this wisdom, Prov. 13:24; 19:18; 22:15; 23:13-14; 29:15, 17,
Just to look at a few of these references:
Discipline your son, for there is hope; do not set your heart on putting him to death.
Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.
Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart.
God includes purposeful, loving discipline in His family,
We see this in Prov. 3:11-12 and Heb 12:5-11;
My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline or be weary of his reproof, for the Lord reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights.
And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
Because God purposefully and lovingly disciplines His children,
He naturally transfers that same expectation to human parents.
The second way to disciple your children Paul gave is through instruction.
Instruction is shaping the mind of the child through teaching.
Often this is understood as cautionary advice,
Especially in dangerous or other unpleasant situations.
But it includes almost any form of verbal correction;
This can be exhortations, warnings, or rebukes.
We see a variety of instructions throughout the OT for parents to instruct their children:
The example of Abraham in Gen. 18:19,
For I have chosen him, that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice, so that the Lord may bring to Abraham what he has promised him.”
The Shema in Deut. 6:6-8; and expanded further in 11:18-21;
And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.
“You shall therefore lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul, and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates, that your days and the days of your children may be multiplied in the land that the Lord swore to your fathers to give them, as long as the heavens are above the earth.
The well-known Prov. 22:6;
Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
This instruction that parents are commanded time and again to instill in their children serve as the basis for their lives.
As Prov. 6:20 explains;
My son, keep your father’s commandment, and forsake not your mother’s teaching.
This instruction was of significant importance because this instruction was given orally.
One commentator notes that “family storytelling traditions served to preserve and pass on unifying elements of connected family households.”
Parents, Paul is instructing you to shape the head and the heart of your child.
This is, as Paul says at the end of vs. 4, of the Lord.
So, Paul is saying that the nurturing, the discipline, the instruction of your child.
It is not merely moral improvement, ethical growth, or character development
It is focused on Christ,
It is focused on your child’s faith in Christ,
It is focused on your child’s hope in Christ.
And it happens in everyday life with your children.
When you are in the car with them, when you are playing with them, when you are having meals with them,
Talk about Jesus.
Teach them truths about Jesus and the Gospel.
Hoping that they will ultimately place their trust in the Lord, Jesus.
It is important that these conversations come from your heart.
Your children need to know what you value, what you believe, what you feel, what motivates you.
This will require you to be open about sin, repentance, grace, and the cross.
Talking about what it means to become a new creation in Christ.
Allow this to be a dialogue, do not just dominate the conversation.
Ask questions so you can understand what they believe, what are they doubtful of, what are they afraid of.
Celebrate their successes and give warnings against pride, sin, and foolishness.
And perhaps most importantly, pray.
Pray for them and pray with them, frequently.
When teaching them the Bible, it is important you teach them the entire story,
Not a series of disjointed stories.
One great resource for this is the Jesus Story Book Bible by Sally Lloyd-Jones.
In it, she writes:
“The Bible isn’t a book of rules, or a book of heroes. The Bible is most of all a Story. It’s an adventure story about a young Hero who comes from a far country to win back his lost treasure. It’s a love story about a brave Prince who leaves his palace, his throne—everything—to rescue the one he loves. It’s like the most wonderful of fairy tales that has come true in real life! You see, the best thing about this Story is—it’s true. There are lots of stories in the Bible, but all the stories are telling one Big Story. The Story of how God loves his children and comes to rescue them.”
Teaching your children this on Big Story is what it means to be a disciple-making family.
And this is why it is a mark of a Christ-like family.
WE: Christ-Like Families
WE: Christ-Like Families
Obedient families, honorable families, and disciple-making families,
Are the marks of Christ-centered families.
The family is the oldest and simplest human institution.
Historically speaking the household generally consists of at least parents and children,
But it can extend in some cultures to include relatives from several generations, or servants, or even close friends.
Our passage this morning teaches the importance of this spiritual unit, the family,
As this training ground for mature, Christ-centered disciple making.
The Bible has laid out a clear structure for the family,
Combining our discussion from last week, the husband leads the wife,
Together, as parents, they lead their children.
As we highlighted last week, leadership is a form of ministry,
Not absolute authority.
Therefore, leadership is fulfilled in love.
Specifically for our discussion this morning,
Loving parents lead their families by keeping Christ at the center of their family.
The family is the closest of communities that teaches and learns about God and Christ-centeredness.
It is meant to function as a spiritual unit.
We talked about how we saw it in the OT at the start of our time.
Then in the NT, we see the family as the unit of Christian commitment.
Acts 11:14; 16:31-33;
he will declare to you a message by which you will be saved, you and all your household.’
And they said, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household.” And they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all who were in his house. And he took them the same hour of the night and washed their wounds; and he was baptized at once, he and all his family.
R.C. Sproul summarizes this focus by stating that;
“Building strong family life is always a priority in serving God.”
We did a brief overview of Paul’s letters on this subject,
Including the focus of our passage this morning.
We learn that Paul was not teaching these things to merely push back against the culture around him.
He was purposeful and intentional in his letters.
Children were viewed as “adults in the making” according to the Roman world.
Thus, children were strictly trained in the values of the family and the society around it.
Like the OT time, the life expectancy of children was very bleak.
It is estimated that about half of children in ancient Rome died before the age of 10.
Girls were less valuable than boys, as were any children with defects,
Therefore, they were often just cast aside, left to die, given over to be gladiators, slaves, or prostitutes.
Obviously, God’s Word stands in contrast against this.
Teaching that every human life has value,
Therefore the church is to value children.
Supporting things like adoption and foster care as a reflection of the adoption we have received in Christ.
John Stott comments on this shift:
“It was a radical change from the callous cruelty which prevailed in the Roman Empire, in which unwanted babies were abandoned, weak and deformed ones were killed, and even healthy children were regarded by many as a partial nuisance because they inhibited sexual promiscuity and complicated easy divorce.”
This is how Paul’s writings that began to conflict against the Roman society.
In 374 AD, emperors in Rome were Christians, and a law against “infant exposure” was put in place.
We pray that a similar outlaw against abortion would happen in our society today.
The church should joyfully celebrate the birth of children.
Because the creation of life is a work of God.
And each child’s parent serves as their primary disciple-maker.
As Bonhoeffer says,
“It is from God that parents receive their children, and it is to God that they in turn out to lead them.”
Sadly, there are many children who are growing up functionally fatherless.
We should be welcoming these children into not only our church, but also our homes,
Into our lives, to fill a discipler role for them.
Let us hold out the hope of the gospel by presenting this Christ-like hospitality,
Welcoming children to ourselves as Jesus welcomes us like little children.
Paul wanted children to learn the ways of the one true God,
Thus, he tasks parents to take up this responsibility in a way that takes into consideration the value of the child.
By not provoking the child to anger.
Resulting in this intentional teaching running against the surrounding culture of paterfamilia.
We see in our passage this morning that Paul is not diminishing the parents’ authority,
He is redirecting it.
Instead of using your authority for yourself,
Paul is saying, use it to shepherd your children in the Lord.
Use it for God’s glory.
Parents, you have the responsibility to disciple their children into Christ-likeness.
So that you can become a Christ-like family.
Do this by setting a Christ-like example for them.
Children will learn how to be Christ-like by watching their parents.
Paul has been addressing the saints of Ephesus throughout this letter,
This includes saints that are parents and saints that are children.
The instructions he has been giving throughout the letter are to be lived out at home.
Parents, children will see your relationship with the Lord.
They will see how you pray, how you study God’s Word, how you worship God.
More than just on Sundays.
They will know how enamored with God you are.
They will watch and see if you are speaking truth in love, if you do honest work, if you are generous in your giving, if you are an encourager, if you forgive, or if you hold onto bitterness and anger.
Parents, you will be the first image a child will see of who God is.
It is from you they will gain a sense of authority, love, and protection.
Even when you fall short, it can be an opportunity for you to demonstrate true repentance for them.
Ask yourself, what example are my children seeing from me?
What are they learning?
What do they see me prioritizing?
Are your children learning how to be obedient and how to give honor?
Based upon how you are obedient and give honor to God?
Families, if you feel unqualified for your given responsibilities.
It is because you are.
These responsibilities make you desperate for God’s help.
The grace of God instructs us for godliness.
Look to God for grace and strength and help.
As the Psalmist says in Psalm 127:1;
Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain.
Admit your weaknesses and your struggles.
And bring them to God.
We have a mighty Savior who is an example for our families.
If we want to have Christ-like families in Afton,
We must be obedient families, honorable families, and disciple-making families.
Pleas join me in prayer.