Overcoming Conflict in the Church

Introduction

There is conflict all around us. Nations go to war. Families separate and are destroyed. Friendships are ruined. Churches split up.

It would be wrong of us to assume that we can avoid conflict. In fact, in one sense, conflict is a good thing because it means everyone cares. It is when people do not argue or fight that becomes a sign that people have given up and no longer care.

One of the most difficult things to endure is conflict within the local church. Yet, it happens.

We will not (nor should we) avoid conflict.

But what we should do is learn how to deal with conflict constructively and overcome the arguments to be stronger and more unified in the future.

So, how do we deal with conflict? Acts 15 gives us some clues to how to deal with conflict.

Conflict Happens - “And when Paul and Barnabas had great dissension and debate with them...” (Acts 15:2)

Teachers had come to Antioch from Judea and Jerusalem teaching that Gentiles must keep circumcision to be saved - Acts 15:1

Paul and Barnabas quickly fought this false teaching - Acts 15:2

When people come together, conflict will occur. People will not always share the same opinions and have the same ideas. We must come to accept that conflict will happen, but we need to be certain that we will not overreact to conflict.

“Cooler heads will prevail”

Abraham and Lot - Gen 13:8

When we overreact to conflict, we end up saying/doing things we will later regret and overreacting can lead to destroying relationships.

Focus On Resolution - “Therefore, being sent on their way by the church...” (Acts 15:3)

The church in Antioch could have reacted and cut off any camaraderie they had with Jerusalem. However, they kept a calm disposition about themselves and did not want to dissolve a relationship with other Christians — they wanted to repair the dissension that was taking place. So, they sent Paul and Barnabas to go to Jerusalem.

When conflict occurs and we are upset, it is easy to say “let’s go our separate ways.” It’s harder (and takes a great deal more humility) to say “let’s work through this.”

Yet, what we see here is an overture to pursuing unity. Resolve the conflict, not running away from the conflict, or dissolving the relationship. Those are the easy and cowardly choices. But dealing with arguments shows a commitment to working together in the pursuit of unity.

Leadership Must Pursue Peace - “The apostles and the elders came together...” (Acts 15:6)

When Paul and Barnabas came to Jerusalem, they met with the church, and the apostles and elders - Acts 15:4, 6

If the church will resolve conflict, it will require godly leaders committed to having peace.

When conflict arises, people will look to leaders — often to express their concerns and opinions.

Leaders will have to navigate different issues and different personalities. There often will not be a one-size-fits-all solution.

At times of conflict, though, leaders will have to make decisions.

While it is nice in theory to think we can make everyone happy, that ends up being a path that makes no one happy and causes everyone to be frustrated.

Conflict is when we need leaders who are calm, cool, and collected to hear everyone out, consider the merits of all thoughts, and make a rational decision that will benefit the church as a whole.

We must support our leaders, even when we disagree with their decisions - 1 Thess. 5:12-13

It is in disagreement that our submission and appreciation for leaders is challenged - Heb. 13:17

Everyone Must Pursue Peace - “…they were received by the church...” (Acts 15:4)

The decisions made in Acts 15 were not made just by the apostles and elders. They were certainly instrumental in influencing and leading the congregation towards a resolution, peace would only occur when the whole church was part of the process.

The whole church - Acts 15:4, 12-13, 22

Sometimes problems arise because leaders get off in their own corner and make decisions without inviting others to be part of that conversation — they don’t inform people of why they made the choices that they made.

Now, if leaders are not communicating well, that is not an excuse for you miscommunicate or to just get angry.

Ask questions and make sure people know you’re seeking to be informed and want to understand what is going on.

What is clear is this: peace and unity cannot happen just because a few people say that it should happen. The whole church must be involved in the process of pursuing peace.

Silence Is Golden - “All the people kept silent, and they were listening...” (Acts 15:12)

Resolving the conflict in Acts 15 required the church to be quiet and listen - Acts 15:12

Conflict usually encourages people to vocalize their opinions and then choose sides. But we need to remember that one of the most important things that we could ever do is to be quiet and listen to others.

Most often, when there is a breakdown in communication, it is the result of not listening to others!

What we end up finding out is that most people aren’t too far apart in their opinions. They may be using different words and expressing themselves in a different way, but many times, they are very close in their opinions.

Collaborate With Others - “Therefore it is my judgment…that we write to them…then it seemed good to the apostles and the elders, with the whole church, to choose men from among them to send...” (Acts 15:19-20, 22)

James was one of the most vocal leaders in the church at Jerusalem. His recommendation to the church was to write to the brethren in Antioch and tell them the ones that had come up there were not sent from the church - Acts 15:19-20

We can read the letter that was sent to the churches - Acts 15:23-29

But then we read of the church not only writing a letter, we also read of them sending a few men back to Antioch with Paul and Barnabas - Acts 15:22

James’ idea and suggestion was followed. But where did the idea of sending men come from? Perhaps it came from James, but it also could have come from someone else!

James had a good idea, but maybe someone else thought it would be beneficial to send a few people to Antioch to resolve the conflict.

The church didn’t argue about which plan was better: write a letter or send a delegation.

That would have created further division.

But sadly, that happens too often — we end up fighting over suggested solutions.

We do know that the whole church was in agreement with this plan - Acts 15:22

The point in all of this is: when there are suggestions that are made, don’t criticize them, don’t just shoot them down before they ever get off the ground. Listen to them, evaluate them, improve upon them, and use multiple ideas. That is called collaboration — working together and blending multiple good ideas together!

Conclusion

When we learn to deal with conflict constructively, then we will be in a position to be in agreement and unified in our work and purpose together.

God wants to see his people dwell together in unity!

Let’s work to make that our goal.