Family Rules

Family Expectations

Please open your Bibles to Matthew 18:5-9.

We are spending a few weeks in Matthew 18.

A remarkable chapter taught by Jesus, concerning the church.

Concerning how we function as a church.

Concerning our relationships within the church, as well as our holiness before God.

Read Matthew 18:5-9.

I saw a video this passed week, of a North Carolina backyard.

It was recorded on a home security camera.

It captured a mamma bear, with 2 of her cubs relaxing in someone’s backyard.

The home owner had some ferocious guard dachsunds.

3 or 4 of them rushed one of the cubs.

1 of the cubs scampered off.

The other cub climbed a tree.

Meanwhile the mamma bear defended her turf.

She easily sent the dachsunds running.

It didn’t look like the small dogs were hurt.

But it was a reminder, you don’t mess with a mamma bear or her cubs.

She cares about her family.

In the same way, this passage is teaching us how God cares for His family.

Really this whole chapter is describing God’s protective love for His church.

This passage gives 3 expectations that God has the church.

3 expectations that God has for the family of God.

These expectations protect the church, the way a mamma bear protects her cubs.

Therefore, if you are in the family of God, these are 3 expectations that He has for you.

First, we have Welcoming Expectations

You see it in verse 5, ““Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me,”

You may remember the scene.

The disciples were arguing over who was the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

Jesus then called a small child.

Just old enough to respond to his name and walk when called.

Jesus put this small child right in the middle of them.

The child became the center of attention.

And he said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”

He wasn’t saying that you must become an actual child, you don’t go back in time and become a toddler.

But your approach to God is this way.

You approach Him in humility.

Becoming completely dependent upon the mercy of God.

You place your life in His hands, resting in His sovereign grace.

And here’s the amazing news, if you are in Christ, you actually become a child of God.

Turn with me to Ephesians 1, let’s look at verses 5-7.

“In love he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace,”

There’s this amazing promise here.

God has chosen a people.

God is adopting a people.

The adoption that is being mentioned is a full adoption.

Biblical adoption is not permanent baby sitting.

Biblical adoption is when a child who is outside the family, is incorporated, and becomes an actual part of the family.

Receiving all the rights and all the benefits of the biological siblings.

So that there is no difference between the biological children and the adopted children.

Looking further down at Ephesians 1:11, Paul says, “In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will,”

We have an inheritance.

Life eternal.

Peace with God.

A part in His kingdom.

These are not things that we deserve.

Our sin, put us at odds with the Father.

We were outcasts.

In His grace, He chose us.

It’s as if He went into the orphanage and said -

“I want the worst behaved, the most rebellious, the most hopeless.”

“I want Him.”

Ephesians 1:4 says He chose us in him before the foundation of the world.

In love He predestined us.

Then He adopted us.

Bringing us into His family.

And how were we adopted?

Ephesians 1:7 says, “In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace,”

A payment was made.

Through the blood of Jesus Christ.

His death, forgave sins.

His death was what brought peace between us and God.

And now, we are called children of God.

This is the church

We are a part of a royal family.

Being a part of a royal family, the Father has expectations for those who are in the family.

Back to Matthew 18, the expectation is found right at the beginning of verse 5, “ “Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me,”

Not only are you accepted into the family of God.

But you must welcome others who are in the family of God.

What does this welcoming look like?

Jesus has a child in front of Him.

How would you treat that child?

You protect children.

You keep them out of harms way.

You are aware of their weaknesses, and you keep them safe.

The start of the chapter, the disciples were looking to rule.

They were asking about who was the greatest.

The Father’s expectation is not that you elevate yourselves over others, but that you love and care for the saints.

That you look out for those who are in the church.

I love seeing this when we are together.

Our families gather together, and we have all these little kids running around.

We may be in our circles talking, and over on the side are a couple of young kids running.

And you can see all the adults watching.

Keeping an eye on the kids.

Even if they’re not their kids.

They’re watching.

They’re protective.

We are to view each other with this same protective eye.

Not condescendingly.

But protectively.

He says that we are to receive each other as children.

To receive someone is to welcome them.

Someone knocks at the door and you let them in.

Only this time, it’s opening up the door to your life and letting them in.

This goes much farther than we typically think of the church.

Many Christians love the church.

They like the events.

They like the camaraderie.

They like the kindness.

Yet, they remain guarded.

Never fully opening up.

Always holding back a little bit.

The call here though is to receive each other, to welcome each other.

To welcome each other.

To embrace each other.

To share with each other.

Ephesians 1 describes the church as a body.

One body.

Southwest Christian Church is not a fragment of individual bodies, each looking out for their own success.

We are one body.

With many members.

The human body serves as a good illustration of the church body.

You have one body with many members.

2 arms.

2 legs.

A head.

A torso.

Many members.

And these members all work to support the body at large.

The church body is much the same.

You may be an arm.

Someone else is a leg.

The body doesn’t exist for the arm or the leg.

These parts exist for the body.

The Holy Spirit has gifted us for the purpose of serving one another.

I Peter 4:10 says, “As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace:”

We cannot serve one another as a steward of God’s grace if we are holding back.

Or if we are thinking that individually, we are more important than the rest of the body.

Welcoming one another.

Notice that the statement here is not optional.

There are many who consider themselves Christians, but they have no regard for other believers.

Christianity for them is a private religion.

They make it very internal.

This type of language has been heightened during the coronavirus, by saying that you can do church at home.

Which isn’t the case.

Christ has not saved you to be alone.

You have been adopted into a larger family.

The church.

Therefore, you must be a part of the church.

Just to plug this again, I want to see you here on Sunday nights.

6-7.

It was so good to see folks last week.

To see the Colberts and the Bostwicks.

That was great.

I want to see you here.

TV Church is not the church.

Receiving one another means:

Bearing one another in their weaknesses.

Loving one another.

Caring for one another.

Serving one another.

The church is a family.

Therefore, we are expected to welcome one another into our lives.

But there is also an expectation to encourage one another to be holy.

I call this the Holiness Expectations.

Look at what Jesus says in verse 6

“but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.”

We are not talking about children at this point.

We’ve progressed beyond physical children.

We are talking about Christians - those who are children of God.

And note the expectation here.

In your ESV Bibles it says, “whoever causes one of these little ones to sin ...”

The word there is skandalon.

It means to cause to stumble.

To trip someone.

To make them fall.

This means to intentionally make someone be tripped up.

I point out that this means to cause someone to stumble.

We are about making disciples of Christ.

The Great Commission is for all Christians.

All Christians are to go and make disciples.

To share the Gospel.

To teach.

To have an expectation that you are obeying Christ.

Our goal is to see one another grow in holiness.

This means that in our relationships with one another, we are spurring one another on to holiness.

Our conversations and actions with one another should be encouraging.

Hebrews 10:24 - “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works,”

We should be an influence on each other for Christlikeness.

Jesus is warning us here.

Jesus’ desire is that we be a force for good in one another’s lives.

Often times, when we get around each other, we drop our guard.

Instead of encouraging, edifying and being a tool to sanctification, we become a stumbling block.

The disciples were arguing about who would be the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

It’s safe to say that that conversation was not an edifying conversation.

We do this when we participate in gossip with one another.

Perhaps you know someone’s weakness.

You know how to get information out of others.

You know just the right combination of words, to unlock a gossiping tongue.

You play on that weakness, and cause your brother to stumble, to sin.

You say just the right words, to make your Christian friend get angry at another Christian, frustrated at another Christian, and even start slandering or gossiping about another Christian.

Parents, you can do this with your children.

Ephesians 6:4 says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

This is nagging them, and antagonizing them until they lose their temper and sin against you.

We can do this with one another, in having unwholesome conversations with each other.

Filthy speech.

Crude humor.

Causing others to stumble.

We should be a tool that prods us towards Christlikeness, not a resource of Satan.

And you see the warning there.

Verse 6, “but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.”

Typically, corn was ground and crushed by 2 circular stones that were stacked upon each other.

The upper stone had a handle on it, and it was turned upon the lower stone, thus grinding the seed that was beneath it.

Grinding corn in a mill was typically done by women during the day time.

But that’s not what Jesus was talking about.

Jesus is describing a much larger millstone.

Literally it reads a millstone of a donkey.

You see, there were the mills that the women turned during the day.

Then there were the large mills for big jobs.

These had much larger stones that turned upon each other.

They were so large they required having a donkey harnessed to it to turn the millstone.

That’s what Jesus is describing here.

Jesus says, if you ‘re the type of person that causes His children, His believers to stumble, he doesn’t say put the woman sized millstone around your neck.

He says it’d be better to have the donkey millstone hung around your neck and thrown into the depth of the sea.

Jesus was not mincing words here.

This was a grotesque death.

It was something that the pagans would do.

It brings to mind the mafia, who encase their victims feet in concrete, and throw them into the ocean.

And notice that Jesus doesn’t say it’s equivalent to that death.

He actually says that this is a better death then what their facing.

Essentially saying that if you cause others to stumble, you only wish that all you received was a donkey millstone around your neck and being thrown into the ocean.

Because what is coming is an eternal hell.

In verses 7-9, twice Hell is mentioned as fire.

Eternal Fire.

And a Hell of Fire.

Jesus isn’t describing a swift death.

This is a certain and pronouncing death.

We learn that the will of Jesus is for us to build up one another.

He will bring judgment upon those who are an instrument for scandal, temptation and sin.

Let’s recap the Family Rules.

If you are in the family of God, you welcome one another.

You receive them into your life.

You welcome them.

Next, you are a resource for holiness.

Never being a stumbling block to others to sin.

Instead, looking for their growth in the Lord.

Lastly, there are Self-Expectations.

Look at the final 3 verses of this passage, verses 7-9.

““Woe to the world for temptations to sin! For it is necessary that temptations come, but woe to the one by whom the temptation comes! And if your hand or your foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life crippled or lame than with two hands or two feet to be thrown into the eternal fire. And if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into the hell of fire.”

We’ve seen that there is temptation in the world.

It comes from others.

It can even come from yourself.

Jesus’ attitude towards temptation is not neutral.

Verse 7, “Woe to the world for temptations to sin.”

Woe.

This is a cry of pain.

It’s an expression of anger.

Woe!

But the reality is that temptations aren’t going away anytime soon.

They will remain until we are brought to glory and Christ is reigning over His people.

So what are we to do?

How are you to respond to temptation?

You see Jesus’ response in verses 8-9.

If your hand or foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away.

If your eye causes you to sin, cut it off, and throw it away.

He’s speaking figuratively here when he talks about cutting off your hands and legs.

The point isn’t to actually cut off your hands and feet.

He’s addressing your fight against sin, and your battle against temptation.

Earlier in Matthew 5, Jesus said a similar statement, but wasn’t vague about which hand or eye we were talking about.

He said if your right eye or right hand causes you to sin, you cut them off.

Why the right eye or right hand?

Because they were the most valuable.

You shake hands with your right hand.

Have you ever had someone come up to you and shake your hand with his left hand?

It’s weird.

The right hand is a place of power.

Jesus is seated at the right hand of the Father.

The seduction of sin, and the power of temptation is that it makes you think that it’s necessary in your life.

That whatever the temptation is, you need.

That you can’t live without it.

But how are you to fight temptation?

If you are in the family of God, what is the self-expectation?

If you are in the family of God, we’ve talked about how you view others, and how you treat others.

Now we are talking about yourself.

How do you deal with temptation.

It’s get rid of the temptation.

Sometimes pride makes you think that you should be able to stand toe to toe with a temptation and defeat it.

For example, the alcoholic might think he’s not cured till he can sit in a bar with a beer in his hand.

But that’s not at all how you deal with temptation.

What does Jesus say?

He says if your hand causes you to sin, even your right hand.

The one that you use to greet people.

Shake their hands.

The one you wave when you are saying hi.

If your right hand causes you to sin, what do you do?

Cut it off.

And what?

Not stare at it, thinking maybe you’ll attach it again some day.

Cut it off and throw it away.

Get rid of it.

Will it hamper your life?

Yup.

It’s hard to have only one hand.

But it’s worth it.

Jesus says it’s better to enter life crippled or lame, than to face the eternal fire.

He says it’s better to have one eye than be thrown into the hell of fire.

The goal isn’t to be able to face your temptation and not seduced by it.

The goal is holiness.

If you care about your holiness, you will do whatever it takes to not face it again.

I play a tank video game.

It’s World War II tank combat.

And there are times, where I’m deep in enemy territory, and I’m all by myself.

I scout the enemy.

I see the enemy.

All of a sudden I see a lot of the enemy.

3 or 4 tanks, and I’m all by myself.

You know what I do next?

I run away as fast as I can.

I don’t even fire a shot.

I just run away.

When it comes to temptation, it’s not about fighting it and defeating the temptation.

It’s about getting rid of the temptation.

Running from it.

In II Timothy 4, Paul told Timothy, “So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.”

I love that passage.

Here’s the great Paul.

An apostle.

Taught by Jesus.

A man who has worked miracles.

Taught under the influence of the Holy Spirit.

Written Scripture.

Surely this wise man has some new advice for how to defeat temptation.

He’s writing to a young Timothy.

Paul’s an old man at this point, passing on his wisdom to a younger generation.

And what is Paul’s great wisdom in how to face temptation?

Flee.

Run away.

Get as far from it as possible.

Cut it off and throw it away.

This will mean changing your habits.

Changing what you watch on TV, if you watch TV.

Changing how you use the computer, if you use the computer.

Changing how you use your smart phone, or if you have a smart phone.

Cutting off the temptation and running from it, putting distance between you and the temptation, will change how you live.

Don’t be surprised if your own sanctification is not progressing if you are harboring sin.

Run from sin.

Run from temptation.

Have no part of it within you.

Why should we be so concerned about this?

Because there is a real Hell.

3 times in our passage we have judgment mentioned.

Twice we have Hell described as fire, and once it’s described as worse than having a millstone hung around your neck and being thrown into the deepest part of the ocean.

The consequence for sin is this eternal fire.

An eternal Hell.

Look at the progress of events in this passage.

Christ has said that if we are humble like a child, we will enter His kingdom.

We are to receive and welcome those who are in His kingdom.

We are not to put stumbling blocks in front of those who are His.

He desires this even of yourself.

Just as others are to be holy, you too are to be holy.

And if sin is running rampant in your life, if you are a slave to sin, then you have to wonder if you are even His.

Have you been converted?

Or are you still a slave of sin?

Because if you are a slave of sin, then this is the future that you are facing.

Let this morning be a special morning.

If you see yourself as a slave of sin, then this morning, make a special prayer to God.

Recognize your sin.

Know that the hell of fire that you deserve, the punishment that you earned for your sin, was given to Jesus instead.

Repent of your sin, and trust in Jesus.