A Loving Home
Home: A Series about the family • Sermon • Submitted
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Introduction
Introduction
This morning we are starting a new series to continue our focus on the family month simply called Home.
Anywhere you live can be called a house but it takes a family to make it a home. It’s my desire that through this series your family, no matter what that family looks like will be strengthened and encouraged to grow closer to God to make your house a not just a home, but a Christian home. Not in name only but in spirit and truth. In word and deed.
Most of us would agree there is not much worse than a person who is fake right? None of us want to be around someone who is just putting on or isn’t really who they say they are.
So often in our homes though, we find ourselves different with our family than with those outside of our home. Some may find themselves acting differently on Sunday than they do throughout the week.
As Christians we live in a constant struggle between our flesh and The Holy Spirit. Paul said
Rom 7:15
15 For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I.
The Apostle who God used to write most of the new testament struggled with walking in the Spirit, guess that means we will too.
How do we overcome the guilt, the shame, the feelings of inferiority, and sometimes defeatist attitude towards living for the Lord?
Accept that your not perfect. You will sin. You will fall short.
Accept that you should not live for sin. Just because we will fail at time doesn’t mean we should try to fail.
Accept that your failure is your fault and don’t blame others. Don’t blame your spouse, your kids, your boss, or anyone else. Confess it and trust it’s forgiven.
Live in light of the truth of the gospel. Your not Perfect, Jesus is. You couldn’t pay your sin debt, He did.
When I discovered these truths, the liberated me from a religious system of rules and opened the door for me to walk with God not comparing myself to others and seeking only His approval.
It’s with this introduction I want us to get into our study of Ephesians 5. When we as individual Christians will begin to live in light of the 4 truths I just presented, we will see our Homes turned into God honoring, Christ exalting, gospel preaching, homes.
In Ephesians 5 we are going to start with verse 1-7 and see how we can have a loving Home.
Follow along with me as I read please.
Eph 5:1-7
1 Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children;
2 And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour.
3 But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints;
4 Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks.
5 For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.
6 Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience.
7 Be not ye therefore partakers with them.
PRAY
Notice with me first the command to walk in love
I. Walk in Love
I. Walk in Love
The first thing Paul writes in this chapter is a call to be followers of God. The word followers there is the same as saying disciple. A disciple is a follower of Christ. It was the world that called us Christians, it was Jesus that called us Disciples.
Paul writing to the church at Ephesus here it calling on them to follow after God like dear children.
Isn’t it cute when children mimic their parents? Maybe your son will get the driver seat of the car or your daughter will put on your make up.
They love you, they know you, and they want to be like you. God calls us as believers to follow after Him just as little children do their earthly parents. To mimic him and to show the world the love of the Father through the outward expression of our faith.
If a person is a hypocrite, you know the guy that comes to church on Sunday but cusses like a sailor throughout the week. The one who says I love God but I do what I want because I can. Then we are not following after God like dear children.
We are commanded to walk in love.
2 Peter 1:4
4 Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.
We have been given a divine nature that can be manifested in our lives if we will monitor the state of our hearts.
A. The State of your Heart
A. The State of your Heart
We are to walk in love as Christ loved us and gave himself for us.
Eph 5:25
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
John 15:13
13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
Husbands, Fathers, Men....while we love to quote the verses about wives submitting to their husbands we have been given the greater commandment, the greater calling, we have been called to Love as Jesus loved.
The love we have for our spouse should be greater than the love we have for anyone or anything else. Greater than sports, greater than hobbies, greater than money, greater than jobs, greater than our love even for ourselves. Jesus loved us more than He loved Himself and proved it through His sacrifice on the Cross.
As husbands it is our responsibility in the home to love, to lead, and to live in such a way that we are not living for self, we are living for our family. Let me be clear to everyone here today, I firmly believe that everything rises and falls on leadership. And in the home, the husband, the father, is to be the one leading. Men, if there are problems in the home, we must first check our hearts to make sure we are and have been loving like Christ loves.
This call to love is to all believers though. Men and women alike. In the home, ladies, how you show love will most likely look different than our your husband loves.
No matter what your expression of love looks like, it should all be based on the same reason. It’s not becuase of how good she cooks, not because he did the dishes, it’s no because the kids have been good....It’s because Jesus loves you and died for you.
He offered himself as a sacrifice because of His love for you.
1 John 4:19
19 We love him, because he first loved us.
Romans 5:7-8
7 For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die.
8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Paul wrote there in Romans, that Jesus didn’t die because of how great He thought you were. He didn’t die because of your righteous acts, He died because you and I are dirty filthy sinners in need of a Savior .
You don’t love those in your home because of how great they are, you love them because Jesus loves you and Jesus loves them.
When we get the state of our hearts aligned with God and where He wants us, we will then see the state of our actions.
B. The State of our Actions
B. The State of our Actions
What we believe will determine how we behave.
Do you believe Jesus loves those in your home? Then why do you yell at them?
Do you believe Jesus loves those in your home? Then why do you degrade or berate them verbally?
Do you believe Jesus died on the cross for those in your home? Then why do you Lord over them as if you are the king of kings and Lord of Lords?
When our hearts are broken and humbled by the almighty creator God that sent His son Jesus to die on the cross for our sins, when we have our faith in the gospel, we must view the world and those in through that lens of faith and allow our actions to be guided by the truths of the Word of God, not our emotions.
Gal 5:16-18
16 This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.
17 For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.
18 But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law.
The lust of the flesh, the desires of the flesh.
We often use this verse to speak of the sinful desires of a mans heart, and that is true but it is also contextually accurate to describe the lusts of the flesh or the desires of the flesh as anything that we desire to do based upon emotion or feeling that is contrary to the Bible.
Listen to that again: The Lusts of the flesh are any desires that we have that are contrary to the Bible.
The lusts of the flesh could be: I desire to be respected and loved in my home so I’m going to attain that through force.
The lusts of the flesh could be: He’s going to do what I want because I’m his wife and I’ll let him know it
Each of those goes against the call to Love and
Eph 5:21
21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
Jesus himself have to serve not to be served…why should we be any different if we are walking in a love like Christ loved us.
If you want your home to be a Christian home, then follow the teachings of Christ and walk in love.
Paul goes on to describe how we should walk in holiness.
II. Walk in Holiness
II. Walk in Holiness
Eph 5:3-5
3 But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints;
4 Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks.
5 For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.
What’s the first step to walking in Holiness and having your home to be a holy home?
A. Guard your Mind
A. Guard your Mind
There are two ways that we take in information; the eyes and the ears. What we see and what we hear gets into our minds creating memories and experiences in life that affect us.
It was the American Abolitionist John Brown, who was born in Torrington Ct, that said
“Holiness does not consist in mystic speculations, enthusiastic fervours, or uncommanded austerities; it consists in thinking as God thinks, and willing as God wills.”
To think as God thinks and to will, desire, as God desires, it requires to fill your mind with the things of God and not the things of this world.
Never has there been a time in American history where there has been such readily available access to the Bible, godly music, Christian programming, and yet we too often to the things of this world to fill our minds.
Sir, no wonder your able to have those conversations at work or be around them with your buddies, you’ve been watching movies and tv shows that have filled your mind with filth.
Ma’am, no wonder your able to gossip, speak poorly of your husband, or believe your the queen of your home, you’ve allowed yourself to fall prey to the shows, movies, blogs, and whatever else the world offers that promotes unbiblical roles for ladies.
Teenagers and children, it’s no wonder your disrespecting your parents, being lazy despising work, and believing you are entitled to everything on this planet, you and your parents have allowed influences in your lives from poor friend choices, too much tv, too much video games, too much time on the phone where you get sucked into a world that you believe revolves around you.
Ladies and gentlemen, I don’t stand here making these statements because I think I’m better than you, it’s because my home struggles like yours and some days we have victories over the flesh, and others....well I get the opportunity to confess sin to my God.
As your Pastor, as your friend, I love you. I pray for you. I want only whats best for you and as someone who has seen the destruction of families first hand caused by ungodly influences and a lack of holiness in the home, I want you to know there is a better way than the worlds way. You don’t have to watch or listen to what others are. You don’t have to do drugs and drink alcohol young people. You don’t have to be a disrespectful teenager. you don’t have to be a prodigal.
Teenager you don’t have to have all the social media accounts, you don’t have to post inappropriate pictures, you don’t have to find attention from others by wearing inappropriate clothing, making inappropriate jokes, you don’t have to seek the love and admiration of others because your heavenly father loves you. Your family loves you. Hey, if you need someone to tell you that they love you, call me. As your Pastor, as your friend, as a guy named Dustin Alley that’s apart of Liberty Baptist church, I love you.
You can have victory over these things.
Not on your own.
John 15:5
5 I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.
Phil 4:13
13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
Doin things through Christ means walking in Christ’s love, walking in Christ’s holiness and guarding your mind from the things of this world.
This will lead to you guarding your mouth.
B. Guard your Mouth
B. Guard your Mouth
Just as when we work on our hearts our actions will be affected when we guard our minds from whats coming into it, we will guard our mouths and what comes out.
James 3:2-5
2 For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body.
3 Behold, we put bits in the horses’ mouths, that they may obey us; and we turn about their whole body.
4 Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the governor listeth.
5 Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!
It’s often said that you can’t give what you don’t have. Let me illustrate
Would you ask a person who just got saved what the Bible says about a handling a situation? Why not? Because they haven’t studied and learned to discern and apply the truths of scripture yet.
You wouldn’t ask a cashier at Mcdonalds about leading a multi-billion dollar worldwide company because he’s not the CEO.
When we understand that we can’t give what we don’t have we should take at least two truths from it.
If I don’t have it I shouldn’t try to give it.
If you’ve never worked on a car, don’t go to the mechanic and tell them how to do it. Stay in your lane. Just becuase you have an opinion and your you doesn’t mean you should express it.
2. Get something thats true, honest, just, pure, lovely, of good report, and virtuos in you through reading your Bible, good books, even good tv shows, good music, good apps on your phone, whatever that may be, and think on those things. So when you open your mouth, that’s what comes out.
Your marriage can change, your parenting can change, your life can and will be affected if you decide to yield to the Spirit of God, walk in love and walk in holiness. Separating yourselves from the evils of the world and focusing on the things of God.
Let me put the jelly on the bottom shelf before I move on.
If there is an app, a show, a movie, a song, a book, a person, that is leading you to temptation and sin, remove that from your life and set up standards between you and it. If it’s a movie or show, choose not to watch it and if its on an app like netflix, go to the website and remove it from your account, yes you can do that.
We walk in love, we walk in holiness, and lastly but not leastly, we walk in Wisdom.
III. Walk in Wisdom
III. Walk in Wisdom
6 Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience.
7 Be not ye therefore partakers with them.
Where does wisdom come from?
Prov 9:10
10 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom: And the knowledge of the holy is understanding.
The fear, the love, the respect of the Lord. The reverence for who He is, what He has done, and what he says.
Wisdom Begins with God
A. Begins with God
A. Begins with God
You can’t be wise in this world and not have relationship with God through Jesus Christ.
That all starts with accepting who we are without Christ.
Rom 3:23
23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;
We are imperfect creatures that deserve death and hell for our sin
Rom 6:23
23 For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.
We can have eternal life and a relationship with God the Father through Jesus if we believe in Him
John 3:36
36 He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him.
Rom 10:9, 13
9 That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
13 For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
If you believe in your heart that Jesus Christ died on the cross for your sins, was buried in a tomb and rose again on the third day, the Bible says you are saved.
That’s where wisdom begins. If you are not saved I encourage you to make that decision this morning. Trust in Jesus, not a church, not a baptism, not a preacher, as your only hope for Heaven.
We trust in the Bible as God’s Holy Word determine our faith and practice for living.
That’s where wisdom begins and then it continues with God.
B. Continues with God
B. Continues with God
Wisdom doesn’t start with God and continue with a preacher…hear me…Wisdom doesn’t start with God and then just come from the pastor.
In your pursuit of your home become a godly, Christ honoring, gospel preaching home, you must seek to inundate your family with the word of God.
Tell your little children Bible stories, tell your older children truths from scripture, put verses on your walls, write them notes with verses on them, share what you are reading in your daily devotions, and allow one of the primary influences in your home to that of the Bible, not the empty words of man.
If your home is more influenced by your politics, hobbies, and really anything else, stop now. go home, Get your Bible, and allow that to be what is influencing your life.
If you have a desire to have your home be one that is Christ honoring, gospel preaching, and full of the love of God, then decide today to walk in Love, walk in holiness, and walk in Wisdom
Time of Response
Time of Response
As we enter our time of response today I’d like to ask you to bow your heads and close your eyes.
Todays message was quite direct.
Was there something said that made you think “yea, I need to work on that.” or maybe you said “yea but if he or she would just...”
Take those things to God right now recognizing that as much as you might think your spouse, child, or anyone else in your life should apply that truth, there was a truth or two for you there.
have you been struggling with walking in love in your home? has your heart been affected by the things goin on around us so much so that it has negatively impacted your home?
Is holiness not something that would define your home lifestyle?
Have you been finding wisdom in the ways of the World and not in the truths of the Word?
How could you take this message and ask God to help you?
Maybe your here this morning and you had never heard that message of salvation? You had never heard that it didn’t take works or baptism, or anything else.
If you’d like to trust jesus as your savior this morning you can call out to Him in prayer and say something like this:
“Dear Jesus, I know I’m a sinner, I believe you came to die on the cross and rose from the dead. I put my faith right now in you and ask you to come into my life and change me from the inside out. Amen.”
PRAY
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Dismissed