How A Sister Got Her Groove
Stella Payne had it going on but she lost her groove. Stella Payne was brought to life via the literary genius of Teri McMillan, best known for her wondrous work entitled “Waiting to Exhale.” How Stella Got Her Groove back is seen by many as the sequel to “Waiting to Exhale.” Stella Payne had it going on but she lost her groove. Oh she had it going on. She was college educated. This sister was a high powered investment analyst in Corporate America. She had it going on but she lost her groove. She had it going on, she drove a expensive, flashy automobile. She had built a custom designed home. She lived in a fine neighborhood in San Francisco, yet Stella lost her groove.
How did she lose her groove? Maybe she lost it when her eight year marriage came crashing to an end. Maybe she lost her groove because the relationship that she invested her life and her love in which she discovered that her expectations had gone unmet. And someone here today has been in a relationship with unmet expectations and you can testify that unmet expectations eventuate to frustrations and frustration will cause you to hand in your resignation.
How did she lose her groove? That relationship came to an end. And there is someone here this morning, let’s be honest a relationship that you have nurtured and cherished has come to an end; maybe you are still in that relationship but you know it’s really over and you have lost your groove. Maybe you’re in the old school singing with Gladys Knight when she was still with her Pips singing “I’ve really got you use my imagination to think of good reason to keep on keeping on!”
And there is someone here today and you have it going on but honestly, you’ve lost your groove and you’ve got to use your imagination just to keep on keeping on. Stella had it going on but homegirl lost her groove. But why did she lose her groove? Maybe it was because she was trying to rear a son all by herself, she knew the pressure of rearing a child, a man child without the benefit of a partner in the marriage. A parent without a partner. And I know that I am talking to someone here today because someone here already knows the pressures and the pains of trying to rear a child all by yourself without that man in your life. That man who helped to bring the child into the world is not helping to finance that child staying in this world. I need to say this: hear me well my brothas, it is sad, shameful, and tacky if you wait for the government to tell you what you ought to be doing without the government dictating that. Don’t you know real men don’t go around just making babies. Real men know how to respect that woman, raise that child, and love that woman.
Stella lost that groove though she had it going on. How did she lose her groove? Maybe it was when her man left her, maybe it was trying to rear her son alone. She lost her groove but then one day Stella was checking out an advertisement saying “Come to Jamaica Mon,” no problem Mon! And so Stella went to Jamaica was blown away by the masculine men who decked the shores of this island paradise, and Stella found herself hooking up with a man half her age. He rocked her world and melted her butter and let her fire. Stella had it going on like Donkey Kong.
And when Stella went home; (you know how we do it) you make the mistake of telling a sister or a friend who may not have but may want what you got and so they decided to talk down to you and disparage what you have done. Her sister said what a clown, what a fool, shame on you hooking up with a man half your age. That is what Stella and yet Stella began the process of getting her groove back. How? She lost her job in corporate America. Ms. Corporate Executive had lost her job but then she discovered that losing her job had freed her up to quit tripping on the expectations of other people and stop allowing her job to dictate her schedule and her life. Stella began the process of getting her groove back.
I need to say this, some sistah here today you’ve lost your groove though you got it going on. You are in a golden cage. Have you heard the story about the two men who were in jail? One man painted the bars of his cell gold and kept his cell immaculately decorated. The other brother then decided to keep his cell unkempt and unkept because he could not stand being in jail. And the man who had the gold painted bars and the pictures on the wall and the well-kept cell would tease his next door neighbor; look how dirty and nasty your cell is; look at my cell, the bars are golden and the paintings on the wall, I have something to look forward to. Finally the man the unkept cell couldn’t take it any more and he said your cell looks good but you are still in jail!
And I am talking to somebody right now, you think you got it going on because of where you live. You think you got it going on because of where you work and where you went to school and because you got designer clothes on your back. I got news for you sistah and that is if you ain’t got it together on the inside you are just living in a golden jail.
And I need to talk to my buffy sistahs, you who are climbing the ladder of success. Let me talk to my Corporate Exec. you who think you are all that and a pot of black-eyed peas. My educated sistahs. My gainfully employed sistahs. Make sure that your priorities are in order because if you are not careful your ivory tower job can become a golden cage that takes away time from your family, that makes you act like what you really ain’t. And so you run around and you have to put up with the unwelcome advances, the unwanted hugs, the unfunny jokes, and all that stuff that ain’t worth two dead flies! All I am trying to say is watch putting yourself in a golden cage.
Stella had it going on, lost her groove, but she got it back. That brings me to our text for homegirl in the text, I don’t know her name (maybe it’s Stella), lost her groove but she got it back. How do I know? Look at verse 50. Jesus says woman your faith has got your groove back, go into peace thy faith has saved you. Some sistah here right now know what it is to be leading a miserable and mundane existence, you know what it means to have a relationship that’s got you singing “I really got to use my imagination to think of good keep on keeping on.”
Well how did this sister loose her groove? I am glad that you asked. This woman had a poison psychology that caused to use the beauty of her biology to help her survive sociologically. In other words, home girl was a hoochie. She was a hoochie momma, a harlot, a woman of the night, a prostitute, woman of the streets who survived sociologically by using her body. Let me stay right there for a moment because I am talking to some holy-rollers, I am talking to some saints right now. And I know that you are saying that you are not talking to me because I am not a prostitute. What do prostitutes do? They sell what God has given her to the highest bidder. (Pause) I don’t care if you don’t work Washington Street, I don’t care if you don’t work Days Inn, I don’t care if you don’t work an escort service but if you reduce yourself to putting out based on where a man takes you or what he buys you then you are just a hoochie-momma that is holy.
Brothers, just because you buy her a happy meal doesn’t mean she has to make you happy. Don’t allow anybody to convince you that you have to put out just because of what they pay. If that takes place, they’ve reduced you to prostitution; a holy hoochie but still a hoochie. If you sleep around like a hoochie, dress like a hoochie, think like a hoochie, think like a hoochie, walk like a hoochie, you are a hoochie.
She lost her groove. Poisoned psychology that used her biology to survive sociologically. She lost her groove but the text says she got it back. And this is how you can get your groove back. You ain’t gotta go to Jamaica, you ain’t got to get you a man half your age, you don’t need to be a hoochie but here it is. You can get your groove back if by faith you respond to the love of the Lord and live by the power of His gracious forgiveness.
You can be free. There was a woman in a beauty salon and there was a woman there with her who was a trip. She was always bragging about what she had, and she was down right miserable, she was always dogging every man and talking bad about men. Why? Because if you are a miserable person you are going to disparage other folks, if you are a sorry person you are going to make other folks sorry. That’s why you sister who go around saying that all black men are dogs need to check yourself because that might be a testament of yourself. Because if that is all that you have attracted are dogs… Like attracts like. If all you are attracting is dogs; stop barking.
So this woman was bragging about her wonderful house, her fine car, her good job and running down men and finally she yelled out, “and I am a self-made woman.” The daughter of the woman sitting next to her said “momma, did she say she is self-made?” Her mother said “I am afraid she is.” The daughter then said “well, momma couldn’t she stand a makeover?”
So here it is, if you’ve lost your groove, Jesus is in the makeover business! He’ll give you a makeover that Mary Kay can touch; He’ll give you a makeover that hair extensions can’t compare to; He’ll give you a makeover that silicone can’t help. He’ll give you a makeover if by faith you love Him and trust Him, He’ll help you get your groove back.
The Bible say that if any man (woman) be in Christ, he is a new creature (he gets a makeover) old things are passed away, behold all things are become new. OK, so how do you get your groove back? I am glad you asked. You get your groove back when you dare to go where you wouldn’t go had Christ not been present.
Verse 37 says “behold, a woman in the city, which was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at meat in the Pharisee's house, brought an alabaster box of ointment.” Guess what? She would never have received an invitation to this party on her own but when she heard Jesus was there she said “that’s where I’ going! I’m going where Jesus is! You can go wherever God (your Father) wants to take you.
Whatever God equips you and calls you to do, don’t let anyone stop you from doing it. Because when you go with Jesus Christ you can go where you ordinarily would not have gone. Go there! Nursing is noble but become a doctor. A law clerk is respectable but become a lawyer. Teaching is noble but become a superintendent. Go there! When you go with Jesus you can go places where you don’t normally go.
When you go with Christ where you wouldn’t dare to go without Him, you’ll discover that He’s the right kind of lover. He’s got the stuff! Sistahs, don’t try to get you a love-jones until you got you a love Jesus! Why? Because He’s the right kind of lover. How does he love? Greater love hath no man than this: that he lays down his life for a friend. How does He love? God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son and if you just believe you won’t perish but have everlasting life. How does He love? God commended His love toward us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. That’s the right kind of lover.
All of you desperate sisters quit believing that you have to have a man to be a woman, you are a woman if you have a man or not. And if you are hooked up with the Man, He will so satisfy you, that when the right man comes along you’ll know how to recognize him and relate to him. But if you spend all your time trying to find a man and you ain’t got love for the Man you are not going to ba able to handle no man!
When you find the right kind of lover; he will see you and not stigmatize you. In verse 39: “if he were a prophet, would have known who and what manner of woman this is that toucheth him: for she is a sinner.” This pious Pharisee named Simon would designate to discriminate. He labeled so that he could relate accordingly. Why? Because whenever someone labels you they are basing that label on what they deem proper for you though they are not looking at themselves. They label and then govern their behavior according to how they have labeled you. And we do it today. We got some Simons today who relate to women according to how they’ve labeled them.
There are some sisters that you bring to meet your momma. There are other sisters who will never meet your momma. What kind of sister are you? How many mommas have you met? If he won’t let you meet his momma, you ain’t gonna be the momma of his children. Why? Because we relate to you according to how we label you.
And what bothers me here is that Simon had some issues but he didn’t know it. Now in the text we have two kinds of people. First of all there are those who are aware of there issues and then there are those who are not. Simon had issues because he had the gall to think that he was better than somebody. He is so sorry that he thought to himself if this man was a prophet he would know she’s a hoochie. Whenever you are real messy and sorry, you talk about people but you don’t talk with people. As a matter of fact you are too spineless to deal with them one on one. Real people when they have a problem with someone, they talk to them directly. That way mess is settled. Otherwise mess just gets messier.
The text says when you meet the right kind of lover, He redefines your concept of love. Verse 47: “Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little.” She loved much, the Greek word used there is agape. The only love she had ever know before Christ was eros, erotic love, the get your groove on love, the sexual healing love. That’s the only love she had know but now the text says that she loves agape. Why? Because once you hook up with Jesus he redefines your concept of love, a love that healthy, healing, and wholesome. Somebody here this morning all you have been treated as is an erotic sex object. Jesus says let me have your love and I will redefine it for you and therefore you will get your groove back.
After all of that you are delivered by his emancipation proclamation. Verse 50 “your faith has healed you.” The Greek word soczo means your faith has healed you, protected you, and delivered you. All of that in salvation, your faith has protected you, healed you! Once you hook up with Jesus and get your groove back; Jesus empowers and enables you to live at peace regardless of what folks think about you, regardless of what they believe about you and say about you because they cannot touch you as long as you are with Jesus. Simon couldn’t even put her out! Your faith has protected you, healed you, and delivered you. Go into peace. That is what it literally means. Go into a new aura, atmosphere of living so much so that you know as a whole woman, once you go into peace, you won’t allow a man to treat you as a piece. Why because when you go into peace, you won’t allow anyone to treat less than a person of respect.
I close with this. Abraham Lincoln. During the Civil War a Union soldier was lazy and neglectful and consequently a comrade next to him was shot and killed. He was immediately dishonorably discharged from the army. He was hurt, shamed and broken. Lincoln got word and he issued and executive pardon. The pardon forgave him of what he had done. As a result he got back on the front lines, led a union battalion to victory in a key battle bur lost his life in that battle. When he lost his life, they got his body and discovered that attached to his heart was the executive pardon that had been issued by Lincoln. Why did he fight so? Because he kept the pardon which he was extended next to his heart.
And if you know anything about grace you know good and well you’ve blown it sometimes, you’ve messed up sometimes. But if you’ve received the forgiving pardon of Jesus Christ don’t let nobody hold your past over your head. Why? Because the grace once it gets to you heart, it will make you fight on, it’ll make you march on, it will lead you on to victory. And somebody may ask you what got into you, just sing “amazing grace shall always be my song of praise it was grace that bought my liberty I don’t know why he came to love me so, He looked beyond all my faults and saw my needs.
Well let’s go back to our text… I see Stella now, she’s walking through town, she’s got her groove back. Somebody said how did you get your groove back? Stella began to sing “I was sinking deep in sin far from the peaceful shore, very deeply stained within sinking to rise no more. But the Master of the sea heard my despairing cry, and from the water he lifted me now saved am I. Love lifted me! Love lifted me! Love! Love! Got my groove back.