Filling in the Gap

Opener

James poses a question

English Standard Version Chapter 4

What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you?

Competing in public meetings, even suing each other

Galatians- biting and devouring

Phillipi even two women could not get along with each other

No different today- Family struggles, Marital quarreling, Family in-fighting

Most believe the problem is with the other person

James gives us a possible answer

English Standard Version Chapter 4

Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?

External conflict is often a symbol of internal conflict

People not at peace with themselves are not at peace with others

Love is what?

English Standard Version Chapter 13

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.

Patient- long suffering

Kind- defers

Does not envy- will not become bitter or jealous in light of others advantages or success- more talented more attention, life of the party

to add up in ones mind or make a list in ones heart- wrongs committed against you

Boast- to parade oneself

Not self-seeking

Not easily irritated- capable of being irritated leads to resentment

English Standard Version Chapter 13

7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

A Commentary on the Holy Scriptures: 1 Corinthians Exegetical and Critical

believeth all things,—i.e., shows a trustful disposition which instead of suspiciously and malignantly surmising and exposing faults, is ever inclined to suppose the existence of a good not seen, and in failures to presume the existence of a right intention.

Love defaults to trust

Expectations _______________ Experience

Gap- choose to “believe the best” or “assume the worst”

Happy people choose to believe the best

Find the most generous explanation for each others behavior and believe it

Two Obstacles:

What we experience

Who we are- Wounds(Father, Boyfriend, Boss) History/Baggage we bring in

Still a Choice!

Suspicion is a self-fulfilling prophecy

Other Option :

Delight in uncovering mistakes

Thrive on suspicion

Assume the worst

Embrace doubt